The Journey Befucks |
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| Rex, the German shepherd dog sat on the chain by the house. Rex is black and yellow color. Benny the gray cat was tied on a dog leash by the house. Benny is gray with a white chest. He was tied to a tree. Benny is kept on the leash because Alexei is afraid he'll run away. Poor Benny! He'll never have exciting life. Or so he thinks. Two of neighbor's cats walked by. A black cat and an orange cat. "We don't have to be on the leash like some stupid dogs," said the black cat to Benny. "Cats are territorial. We don't run away from home," said the orange cat. "Oh, my God. He is on a fucking faggoty ass leash. His collar is purple," said the black cat. "Hey asshole," said the orange cat. "You want to die? Huh! You faggoty ass cat on a leash." Alexei, the shitty Russian kid came out of the house. He put a t-shirt on Rex. Rex shit in his shirt and shit hung in it together with piss. The cats looked at Rex. "Oh� my� fucking� God," said the orange cat. "This is enough," yelled Rex. Rex pissed on his chain and it broke. AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, A BAND OF FAGGOTS SET OUT TO PROVE THE IMPOSSIBLE, THE SEXISTENCE OF A SHITTY WORLD. GERMAN SHEPHERD, GRAY CAT, STEPBROTHER, GIRLFRIEND, NIGGER, AND FAG, ALL FUCKING THE STORY OF A LIFETIME! THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT, BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. TOGETHER THEY FUCK TO SURVIVE IN THIS AMAZING WORLD OF LOST CIVILIZATIONS AND TERRIFYING CREATURES. ALWAYS FUCKING FOR A WAY HOME, A WAY OUT OF� Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD IN CALIFORNIA, IN RIMFOREST, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN LAKE ARROWHEAD AREA. REX AND BENNY 1: THE JOURNEY BEFUCKS "We're fucked now," said the cats and ran off. Their owner is a woman named Dawn. Alexei is a Russian kid who wears gay glasses. Alexei's American stepdad came and told Alexei to take the shirt off of Rex. Things like that are not uncommon for the retarded Russian. No kid in his right mind would ever wear glasses. Contacts or nothing, but no glasses. Glasses are what makes Alexei, Alexei. Alexei unhooked Rex from the chain, put him on the leash and took him for a walk in the woods. The cats who made fun of Rex and Benny, are great cats. "We'll go into the woods," said Rex. "We'll prove the sexistence of forest predators and by year's end the world will be gay-mazed." Benny the gray cat pissed on his leash and it ripped. He followed Rex and Alexei into the woods. In the woods Alexei took off his shirt and revealed his sexy body. Alexei's body has vitiligo spots on it. Alexei doesn't have muscles and he is as skinny as hell. Alexei is a faggot. A raccoon jumped out of the bushes. The raccoon crawled up Alexei's ass. The raccoon ate chunks of shit in Alexei's ass. Alexei couldn't shit because the raccoon plugged up his ass. Alexei filled up with shit and exploded into a pile of shit. Rex grabbed Alexei's glasses in his teeth and broke them. "I always wanted to break these pieces of shit," said Rex. Benny was running through the forest when suddenly coyotes ran out in front of him. Coyotes howled and advanced on Benny. Benny is fucked now. Benny hissed and screeched. Coyote hit Benny with his front paws and he flew into a boulder. The coyote grabbed Benny by his leash in his teeth and swung him between two boulders. Benny's sexy body was being hit by boulders. The coyote threw Benny the cat. Benny the cat went flying through the air, was hit against a tree. The tree was hollow inside. Benny broke through the bark and got stuck inside the tree. The coyote jumped up on the tree. He clawed his way up and started sliding down the hollow trunk toward Benny. He was chomping at Benny. "Out of a pan and into the shitfire," said Benny. Andy, the fat kid who is Alexei's stepbrother, and Corey, his friend and a black kid, were working by the woodshop. They were staining cabinets. Alexei's dad has a woodshop in Rimforest. The woodshop is by the house. Suddenly coyotes ran out at Andy and Corey. Corey has sexy rippling veins. Corey, and Alexei's stepdad both wear gay glasses just like Alexei. Coyotes howled. Coyotes attacked Andy and Corey. A coyote hung on Corey's penis. "Aah, my penis," screamed Corey. Coyote ran and pushed Andy. Andy went flying up. Andy was shirtless. He used an excuse that it is hot outside to reveal his sexy body. Andy's sexy body was hit against the hot roof of the woodshop. Coyote spilled screws on the ground. Andy fell with his sexy body on the screws. Corey is a nigger. His skin is the color of shit. His hair look like pubic hair. Rex was walking from the forest when he heard noise behind him. Rex was scared to look back. He turned around and saw a bear towering over him. Rex ran. Alexei wished he could see Rex bathed in sexy sweat but dogs can't sweat. Rex is scared, Rex is confused. He knows he will be beaten. Rex pulls on the leash and he pulls and as he pulls, he gets his ass kicked. Rex must know, that good dogs don�t get beaten, bad dogs get beaten. Rex ran as the bear was gaining on him. "This day just keeps getting better," said Rex. Rex was panting. Rex is a dog with brown teeth. Rex saw a coyote stuck up a tree. Benny was inside the tree. Rex jumped up against the tree with his paws. Tree bark scratched Rex's penis. The tree shattered and Benny was free. Coyote fell on the ground. Benny jumped up, coyote hit him with his tail and Benny flew up and landed with his nutsac against a tree branch. Alexei, the Russian kid, came up to Benny. "Oh, my nutsac," said Benny. "Here you damn Russian, lick my nutsac." Benny crawled up Alexei's pants. Benny hung on Alexei's penis. Benny sucked Alexei's penis. Benny picked chunks of crap out of Alexei's ass and ate them. Alexei grabbed Benny's testicles and put them in his mouth. Alexei nibbles on the genital organs of his cat. Benny screeched as he hung on his testicles. The bear attacked Rex. Rex weighs seventy-five pounds. The bear was fat and weighed 200 pounds. The bear jumped on Rex and slammed him with his weight. Blood and shit came out of Rex's mouth. The bear farted down Rex's mouth. Corey was thrown up by the coyote. His shirt was torn off revealing his sexy black body. Corey's sexy body was hit against the hot roof of the trailer. Corey rolled across the roof and fell on the pavement. Alexei's dad has a trailer and a container standing beside the woodshop. Alexei scratches his sweaty balls, then licks the fingers. Corey lay on the pavement. "Please have mercy," he said. "I can't take it anymore." Andy went flying and landed on top of Corey. Corey soiled himself. Andy's and Corey's sexy bodies were bathed in sexy sweat. "To us you're nothing but food," said the coyote. "And we'll continue our onslaught until you both are dead." The bear put cuts on Rex's sexy chest. Blood gushed out. Rex was crying. He was hit and went flying through the trees. Rex fell in the vines. The bear ran up and wrapped a vine around Rex's throat and started strangling him. While Rex was being strangled, his head was beat against a rock. Rex was bathed in his own blood. Alexei was walking through the forest. Sunlight hit Alexei's gay glasses. The sunlight was focused on Alexei's eyeballs. Alexei's eyes burned out. Alexei burned inside out. His testicles burned inside out. Rex hit the bear in the eye with his back leg. "What was that, you motherfucker," said the bear. Benny, the cat, jumped on the bear. His penis penetrated the crusty shit on the bear's asshole. Bear has shit hanging off his ass. Rex and Benny raped the bear. The bear roared. The bear threw Benny. Benny spun through the air and landed with his sexy body on the ground. The bear roared and stood on his rear legs as he was being raped. Shit poured out of the bear and he died. Alexei's bitchy mom came out of the house. She is a Russian bitch of stupidness. A coyote jumped on her and tore off her tits. The coyote that was attacking Rex and Benny ran off. Rex and Benny headed into the forest and came to piss geysers. Piss geysers shoot hot piss up into the sky once in a while. "This is a hellish land," said Rex. Suddenly a pair of mountain lions ran out of the bushes. "Oh, you've got to be shitting me," said Rex. Andy and Corey laid on the ground, bathed in sexy sweat and blood. Andy is Alexei's stallion. Coyotes advanced on them. Suddenly there were shots fired and a fat man in a tank top and jeans stood over Andy and Corey. "My name is Shitso," he said. "You're coming with me." The mountain lions ran toward Rex and Benny. Two mountian lions grabbed Rex by the paws and ran his dick and balls into a tree. The mountian lion stuck Rex�s penis into his nostril and spun him around. Mountain lions jumped toward Rex with their boners and hit him. Boiling piss erupted out of the piss geysers. Rex�s dick and balls flew through boiling piss. The geysers stopped erupting. A mountain lion stuck his toenail in Benny's peehole. His nail got caught onto Benny's peehole. The mountain lion was trying to pull out his nail. One of the small geysers erupted boiling piss. Benny�s sexy body was caught in boiling piss. Benny flew against the power lines with his dick and balls. Electricity shocked Benny's dick and balls. Benny�s dick and balls turned brown with brown smoke coming off of them. Benny landed in the dirt and slid on it on his nipples. A mountain lion grabbed one of Rex�s eight nipples in his teeth and spun around giving Rex a titty twister. Mountain lion threw Rex in the geyser hole. The geyser shot out boiling piss and he, Benny, and the two mountain lions were lifted up on a cushion of piss. All of their penises and nutsacs turned red from the heat. Rex, Benny, and mountain lions fought on a cushion of piss. Mountain lions dragged Rex�s genitals through 100 degrees F boiling piss. Benny pissed cold pee on Rex�s genitals. Rex�s genitals felt hot and cold, hot and cold. Piss went up Benny�s asshole causing him to fill up. Piss shot out of Benny�s asshole. Benny spun in the air and grabbed Rex�s nipples with his paws. Benny put scratches on Rex�s nipples. Rex tore out the mountain lion's nutsac hair. He chewed them together into a rope. Benny tore off the mountain lion�s nutsac. Rex tied the nutsac to a pubic hair rope. Rex threw the pubic hair rope on the pine tree. The nutsac wrapped around the pine tree. Rex and Benny held on to the pubic hair rope and swung off the piss cushion. They landed in the dirt on their titties. Piss rained all over Rimforest from the piss geyser. The mountain lions were boiled in piss of the piss geyser. Rex and Benny ran off into the forest, away from the piss geysers. Rex and Benny were walking through the forest. Out of the trees hairy humanoids were watching them. Sasquatches. The forest is full of them and they present a lot of danger. Suddenly sasquatches came running out of the trees at Rex and Benny. A sasquatch held a hatchet made of a rock on a stick. Rex was hit in the penis with a hatchet. Another sasquatch came at Benny and kicked him. Benny the cat went flying against a tree with his sexy body. Sasquatches surrounded Rex and came down on him, burying him with their bodies. Sasquatches rubbed their sweaty ballsacs all over Rex. Rex ate chunks of shit stuck to their fur. Rex howled in sexy pain as the creatures beat him and poked him with pointy rocks tied to sticks. Andy and Corey were walking with Shitso. They came into the forest where skeletons of dead people hung off the trees. In a clearing there were sharp pointy wooden spikes and inside of those spikes was a log cabin. Shitso led Andy and Corey inside. The log cabin was filled with piles of shit everywhere. Sewage was connected to the shower and the sink and that's how Shitso washed himself. In a swift motion Shitso threw off his belt and ripped off his pants, revealing his ballsac with two foot long pubic hair and a penis. "Now!" yelled Shitso. "Let the molestings begin!" Andy and Corey were in horror as Shitso came at them with his dick and balls. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Rex shot piss out of his penis in the sasquatchs' mouths. They fell back, Rex broke free and he and Benny ran into the woods. "Now there is one more matter to attend to," barked Rex. "Steal an eagle egg and carry it through a forest full of predators?" meowed Benny as they stood in a clearing on a rocky outcrop near a waterfall. "You're out of your mind." "Just do this," said Rex. "Then we'll have proof of how amazing these mountains are." Benny the cat climbed up the rocky outcrops. He climbed to the top of the rock wall near the waterfall. Benny crawled into a nest filled with eggs and rolled one with his paws. Suddenly there was screeching. An eagle came flying over the rocks, over Benny. Rex stared in horror. The eagle flew at Benny, missed him. It went gliding through the air back toward Benny as it screeched. It swooped over Benny and came back. It just found food, a tasty cat. It spread its claws and flapped its wings as it came at terrified Benny with its penis. It flapped its wings� TO BE CONTINUED� |
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