Rex and Benny looked at the open door of the trailer. Nothing inside but trash and shit. They saw a cut open coyote hanging in a tree, all of its organs removed. Benny found a curved knife inserted into a tree. Benny took it out with his teeth and as he touched it�
�A woman screamed as Benny held a knife in his teeth. Benny cut into her vagina, spilled her blood. Blood sprayed. Benny took a uterus out with a knife. The woman screams in terror and agony. Benny slits her throat with a knife and she is killed. Benny looks around and finds himself in a bad part of San Bernardino (down the hill, off the mountains) where gangsters roam. As Benny holds the bloody knife in his teeth, two Mexican gangsters run out of a house.
"There is the Rippfag. He killed Ho Bag Kelly! Get him!" yells one pointing at Benny.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA.
REX AND BENNY 49: SHIT KNIFE
As Benny screeches, Rex rips the knife from Benny's teeth and Benny wakes up.
"Holy fucking shit!" said Benny. "As soon as I touched the fucking knife I found myself in a bad part of San Bernardino. I was killing a woman. The gangsters called me the Rippfag!" Then Benny told Rex the dream exactly.
"Jack the Rippfag is a murderer the police have been talking about in the news for the last week," said Rex. "He has killed five women. Ho Bag Kelly was the Rippfag's third victim."
"Are you saying he is up here in the mountains?" asked Benny.
Rex grabbed the knife in his teeth and he and Benny headed through town toward the house.
Back at the house Andy (20 year old kid who works for Alexei's stepdad in woodworking business) was lacquering outside. His Mexican girlfriend Nikki was sitting by the Bronco truck. Alexei's stepdad was nailing drawers together in the garage/woodshop. Nikki saw a man in a black cape, a face with sideburns, and hard look on it walk off the road and up to the shop. His eyes met with Nikki's. Oh, he knew what he will do to her! The man knocked on the door of the sliding garage gate. Alexei's stepdad opened the door.
"Do you carve dildos out of wood?" asked the man, glancing at Nikki from time to time.
"No," said Alexei's dad.
The man walked away, meanwhile scoping the surroundings. Nikki will be his next target.
Alexei, the gay Russian kid, knows that if a dick is stuck up the asshole, it will come out smelling like shit. Rex and Benny were walking back to the house through town. Rex carried the knife in his teeth.
"How do you explain me getting the vision of the murder?" Benny asked Rex.
"Somehow you must've developed a psychic link with the knife due to your shittiness," said Rex.
Rex and Benny saw the same man as the one from the woodshop headed toward them. Rex threw the knife and covered it with pine needles before the sinister man saw it. The man started petting Rex and Benny and smiling. The man then walked away toward the forest. Rex pulled the knife out of the pine needles. Rex and Benny made it into the backyard of the house.
"Benny, you must touch the knife," said Rex. "Just to see if you'll get another vision of this wonderful killfag."
Benny placed his cat penis upon the knife and screeched as a vision flashed into his mind.
Alexei's fat bitchy Russian grandma is walking down a street of Saint Petersburg in Russia. It is a gray rainy day as always. She heads into the backyard of the apartment building. In her bag she carries potatoes and a loaf of bread. A dog with a knife in his teeth sets off after her. The dog with a knife jumps upon grandma who screams like a bitch. Her clothes are torn off and she is rolling naked in the mud, flapping her fat titties. The dog rips the Rippfag's knife into her, taking out intestines, eating them together with shit. He removes the kidneys and bladder. An attempt to cut off her ear is made. The dog cuts out Alexei's grandma's vagina which he then devours. The dog drops the knife, turns� Benny can see the dog! �Rex, the German shepherd dog licks the blood and shit off the knife� Benny drops the Rippfag's knife.
"Holy shit!" said Benny to Rex. "He killed Alexei's grandma. And the killer was you, Rex. Why can't I see the real him?"
"Your mind does not know his face, so it ends up substituting faces of familiar animals and people as the killer," said Rex. "Interesting. Alexei's grandma was Jack the Rippfag's fourth victim in his killing spree of five women."
The man in a trench coat and sideburns comes to his beat up trailer camp. The dried coyote carcass is still hung up on the stick. His years in a medical school allowed him to remove all the organs and consume them. Where is it? He left it here? It's gone!
"Nooooooooooooo!" screams the man. "I need that knife more than life itself!"
Back at the house Rex and Benny ran by Andy who was lacquering cabinets. Rex carried the Rippfag's knife by shoving it up his ass. They needed to return to the trailer where they found the knife and look for more clues. They ran down the Highway and found the trailer parked on the side of the road. There were lights on inside. Somebody was home. Rex and Benny sniffed around and came to where shit and other items were scattered across the dirt. Suddenly a naked man came jumping out of the trailer. He screamed at Rex and Benny. Rex and Benny ran into the forest. The man noticed his knife sticking out of Rex's butthole. The man picked shit out of his ass and threw it at Rex and Benny. Rex and Benny got covered in shit as they ran back up the Highway toward the house.
Back in the backyard of the house Benny put his penis upon the knife, and visions of Andy with the same knife walking up to the house in the night came to him. Andy (or shall we say the killer whose face Benny's mind substituted with Andy's) walks up to the house. Within the house Alexei's mom is bitching at Alexei's dad for having Andy work for him. Alexei's bitchy mom comes out of the glass door of the house to the car. The Rippfag comes for her and starts stabbing, and stabbing. Her torn off tits go flying and flying. Clitoris get eaten by the killer! Oh stab the fucking bitch! He takes out intestines, wraps them around the car�
Benny lets go of the knife.
"This time the killer looked like Andy," said Benny. "I wish I could see who he is in these visions. Anyway, he was killing Alexei's bitchy mom."
"Jack the Rippfag's fifth and final victim," said Rex.
Rex shoved the knife up his ass and he and Benny ran through the forest and driveway streets back to the house. Alexei tied Rex to a chain in the backyard and Benny the cat was put on a dog leash inside the house. Night fucked upon the mountains. Rex sat outside in the darkness. Behind the fence neighbors were having a BBQ and were drinking beer. He turned and saw the man in a police uniform and sideburns standing in the dark before him. It was the same man who petted him and Benny and the naked man in the trailer.
"Good doggy," said the man. "I'm a detective, trying to find Jack the Rippfag. He is a terrible killer. You see him, you tell me. I've been trailing him for a long time."
Rex took a drink out of his water bowl. Rex suddenly felt sick and his muscles began to relax.
"Jack the� Rippfag," croaked Rex. "You� poisoned�"
"Yes," said Jack the Rippfag. "I poisoned you. Very clever."
Rex's sexy muscles went limp and weak. He dropped helplessly but yet was still full conscious. He couldn't move, or bark. He could only blink.
"Curare. I laced your water with it when I followed you and the cat," said the killer. "Paralyzes the body completely. You will be fully conscious but unable to move or speak for twelve hours�" Jack the Rippfag was dragging Rex's body across the driveway. "�you will be unable to bark out for your cat love�" Jack the Rippfag dumps Rex into an open sewer manhole. Rex lies three feet deep in the dark. Jack shoves him down the drain pipe through which sewage trickles. "�This pipe will slowly fill up with sewage. You can enjoy drowning in piss and shit you adore so much, slowly."
And then complete blackness as the sewer lid slams over the top.
In the morning Andy came to the woodshop with Nikki. Alexei's dad went yelling Rex's name. Alexei walked around in circles looking for Rex. Rex was gone last night. Someone unhooked him because the chain isn't broken. Benny the gray cat escaped from the leash. He ran through the driveway and over the sewer lid under which Rex is trapped. Benny ran past Johnnies Market and VOE water company office. Not a trace of Rex anywhere. Cars kept driving by on Pisses' Drive. Benny wandered into the bushes off the street and saw Jack the Rippfag. Jack grabbed a gun out of his trench coat.
"You're the man that petted me," said Benny. "Who are you?"
"You're looking for your dog friend in the wrong place," said Jack. "I slipped curare into his water bowl. He is trapped under a sewer lid. The pipe has probably filled up with shit already and washed out his dead body to a sewage treatment plant."
Jack the Rippfag fired his gun, when Benny came jumping and screeching at him. Benny crawled up the killer's trench coat and shoved his cat erection up his ass. Benny's penis penetrated the crusty shit on Jack the Rippfag's asshole. Benny pissed inside him. Jack the Rippfag filled up with piss and his nipples came off and went flying. As he screamed in agony Benny went off running to sewer lids. He sniffed them for signs of Rex.
Rex lay in the dark sewer pipe. He couldn't move and it filled up with shit. Rex was bathed in sewage and only one nostril on his snout was above the shit so he could breathe. And the drain was quickly filling for a woman flushed down her period blood, a landlord flushed down shit, and Alexei flushed his urine.
"Rex! Oh, my fucking Satan, Rex!" screeched and meowed Benny hysterically. "Rex!"
Benny ran up to the sewage lid and smelled Rex with shit beneath it. Alexei's dad has gone driving around VOE to find Rex. Benny pulled at the lid with his claws. It budged. Benny pushed it out of the way and found Rex completely covered with shit. Benny grabbed Rex by the collar and dragged him out. Benny farted in Rex's mouth. Rex coughed up shit and woke up. Curare wore off and he could move again.
In the backyard Rex and Benny shared their stories of Jack the Rippfag. Benny touched his penis to the knife and� He saw the man with sideburns and trench coat. He knew what the killer looks like now. Jack the Rippfag is driving up Highway 18 into the mountains. That is a place described in Alexei's "Rex and Benny" stories, and what a better place to hide in than in a dream of a mentally ill Russian kid� Benny lets go of the knife.
Jack the Rippfag came jumping over a fence at Rex and kicked him in the jaw. Rex went flying into Benny, the killer grabbed the knife. Jack came swinging the knife at Benny. A bloody slash was put across Benny's sexy chest. Andy dropped his lacquer spray gun and came running toward the Rippfag. The killer kicked Andy in the balls and smacked his head against the dirt. Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Multiple kicks from the Rippfag hit Rex's sexy body. The Rippfag grabbed a rope and tied Andy, Rex, and Benny to a tree. Next he slashed his own hand and let blood drip all around them.
"This is for the ravenous wildlife that thrives in these mountains," said the Rippfag.
Nikki came out of the garage and screamed as the Rippfag with a knife came running at her. He tackled her inside and started tearing off her sexy clothes. He kicked Nikki in the stomach and she went flying into a pile of wood. The killer beat her head against the concrete floor.
Rex, Benny, and Andy heard howling which kept getting closer. Coyotes were coming to eat them. Rex and Benny began to piss on the rope. Andy chewed the piss soaked rope with his teeth and tore it. They were free.
Nikki lay there helpless as Jack the Rippfag held the curved blade of the knife before her.
"You're like those stupid bitches I have killed," said the Rippfag. "Now, I shall begin the operation."
Jack the Rippfag put a slash across Nikki's tits. Rex and Benny came diving into the garage at Jack the Rippfag and send him flying. Rex grabbed the knife and stuck it in his crotch, penetrating his penis. Jack the Rippfag came running out of the garage when coyotes came at him. He fell and coyotes howled as they tore into him. Jack the Rippfag screamed as he was being eaten alive.
Later Rex, Benny, Andy, and Nikki went into the woods, where a crack in the earth exposes magma beneath. Benny held the knife in his teeth which no longer gave him visions.
"May the world see such evil again," said Benny and dropped the knife down the crack. Jack the Rippfag's knife fell down and melted away in the magma in a burst of flame.
THE END