Shit in the Sky
Andy, Corey, Alexei, and Siena ran across the intersection and behind a red house. Siena ran around, wiped shit off her paws on Andy, and drank out of the river. On the shore of the river stood a triangular monolith like upside down V. On the monolith were scratchings of a river, Shitic runes, swastikas, penises, "fuck you", "Alexei is gay." Andy read the scratchings.
"The river represents the gay beginning and end," read Andy. "Gay life and wonderful death. To go down piss river is to meet death but go up is to return to the gay source."
Alexei touched the sexy monolith when slight whooshing noises went through the air. An arrow shot through Alexei's penis. An old man came stumbling out of the trees. The old man fell in the water. Corey ran out from behind the monolith as arrows whooshed by and scratched Corey's sexy body.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA.
REX AND BENNY 50: SHIT IN THE SKY
He grabbed the man who got five arrows shot into his back and dragged him behind the monolith. Siena barked at assailants in the trees as an arrow went up her vagina.
"You got to stop Shitso�" groaned the man. "Or else, two gay days from now�"
The old man died. Suddenly a bunch of men in sleeveless shirts and crossbows came running out of the bushes. They jumped Andy and Corey. Siena got kicked in the tits. Andy threw a punch in an attacker's face. Corey got kicked and went flying in the river. Siena got punched in her dog titty. They all found themselves to be surrounded by the attackers. Another guy walked out with a gun.
"Thank the old man," said the guy. "Now you know too much."
The man punched Andy in the stomach. The assailants with crossbows grabbed Andy, Corey, and Siena and took them away down the shore of the river, down to where the river headed into the forest. Hearing the commotion, Rex the German shepherd dog and Benny the gray cat pissed on the leashes that kept them tied to the trees and ran to the river. They saw the attackers walking away with Andy, Corey, and Siena.
"We'll never catch up to them now," barked Rex. "We need a boat."
Rex and Benny ran up into the backyard of someone's house and found a crate. Rex and Benny dragged the crate into the river and jumped in. They held sticks in their mouths and rowed.
"We don't know what kind of danger we're heading into," meowed Benny.
"Those attackers looked like Fagans," barked Rex. "They are descendents of a Dutch expedition that got stranded in these woods two or three centuries ago."
"What would they want with Andy, Corey, and Siena?" meowed Benny.
"I have no idea," said Rex. "This is the first time I've seen lost civilizations that live in the woods come out into this civilized world. Never leaving the forest is how they got lost in time."
They rowed the crate up the river, past houses, and through backyards.
Fagans and a man who looked of this world and not of the lost civilization was leading Andy, Corey, and Siena.
"I demand a gay explanation," said Corey. "If Shitso got captured by Fagans and you don't want us saving him, we won't. We don't give a shit about Shitso."
The man hit Corey with a gun across the head. Siena barked and jumped at the man. She shot period blood out of her vagina in the man's mouth. Fagans grabbed their crossbows and pointed them at Siena.
"Kill the bitch dog," said the man. "We don't need animals."
Fagans came at Siena and kicked her in every one of her tits. Siena howled in sexy pain over which Alexei will masturbate. They kept going deeper into the forest.
Rex and Benny rowed up river. They were on a rescue mission. The crate floated through the drain pipe under Hwy 138 and now they were heading into San Bernardino National Forest.
"Rex, did you eat dog food this morning so you will have plenty of shit up your ass?" meowed Benny.
"Oh, damn, I forgot," barked Rex.
"What!!!" screeched Benny.
"Just kidding," barked Rex as he laughed.
As the crate floated upriver, they got deeper into the forest. Forest predators screeched and howled around them. Rex and Benny saw a scarecrow with a penis on the side of the shore.
"Looks like we're entering Fagan territory," said Rex. "Don't worry. It's just gay grass and wood."
"After Penisfaggot drug even grass and wood can be dangerous," meowed Benny as Rex laughed.
The sun beamed down overhead making Rex and Benny's sexy bodies over which Alexei masturbates hot. Benny turned away when Alexei's penis went in his mouth. Rex and Benny saw dead Alexei hanging off a tree over the river with his glasses shoved up his ass.
"I guess they ran out of grass and wood," barked Rex.
"Yeah," meowed Benny. "Let's keep going, carefully. These Fagans are dangerous."
Rex and Benny rowed the crate upriver. They needed to reach Fagan settlement.
The man and Fagans led Andy, Corey, and Siena through a town of wooden houses on the side of the river in the forest. Villagers walked around.
"Holy shit," said Andy. "There must be a thousand people here."
They were led through a main town square in front of the queen's palace. It was a brick house. They were led into a building, down the steps.
"I demand to see the bitch queen," said Corey and the man punched him in the testicles.
All three of them were thrown in a jail cell and locked in.
Rex and Benny are rowing the crate down the river when they saw bubbles churning in the water.
"What the hell is that?" yelled Rex as the thing in the water went toward the crate, under it. A bump came from beneath. Rex and Benny looked around when a head on a long neck shot out of the water over the crate. It was a Loch Ness monster swimming in the river. It roared, revealing a mouth with sharp teeth. Rex and Benny dove in the water as it rammed the crate, shattering it. Rex and Benny swam through the water as Loch Ness monster moved its four flippers and a tail going after them. Rex and Benny got out on shore.
"Now we must move through Fagan territory on land," said Rex. "More chance we get killed."
"It's going to be dark soon," said Benny. "We could share sexy body heat for warmth."
Rex and Benny spent the night sleeping next to each other in the open. They woke up in the morning. They had 20 hours left since the warning of the old man. Rex and Benny walked through the woods along the river when they saw the same man that captured Andy, Corey, and Siena scouting the forest with a couple of Fagans. Rex and Benny jumped out behind the man. Rex grabbed his gun in his teeth. Fagans pointed crossbows at Rex. Rex held the gun sideways in his teeth, ready to pull the trigger with his tongue.
"Take us to the village," said Benny. "Or Rex will shoot."
The man and Fagans walked while Rex kept the gun on the man. They came into the village on the side of the river and led the man with Fagans through town. The man led Rex and Benny to the brick palace house of the queen.
"Whoever is in charge here, come on out," meowed Benny.
Suddenly a fat fuck man in a suit with a bowtie came out of the building. It was Shitso.
"Once again we see you running the show," said Benny.
"You see, Rex and Benny," said Shitso. "I'm a future king of these people."
"Where are our friends?" meowed Benny while Rex held the gun.
"Oh, they are buried," said Shitso.
Rex's gun was coated with saliva. Suddenly Fagans threw a net off the roof upon Rex and Benny. Rex dropped the gun. As Rex and Benny got tangled in the net, the Fagan warriors pulled down their pants and rubbed their dicks and ballsacs all over Rex and Benny. Fagans threw Rex and Benny in a jail cell with Andy, Corey, and Siena.
"I thought you were dead and buried," said Rex.
"Buried but certainly not dead," said Siena.
Rex and Benny examined the jail cell and found a chain and two rings on the walls. Those would come in handy. Suddenly there were footsteps and the man in service of Shitso came up.
"Shitso would like you to attend his feast," said the man.
Rex, Benny, Andy, Corey, and Siena sat at a long table. There were Penisfaggot affected plants whose genitals they ate. Rex feasted upon spicy BBQ coyote penises. Corey drank sperm wine. Shitso in a tuxedo sat at the end of the table.
"You must be wondering how I came to rule these poor souls," said Shitso. "Well with my application of science and knowledge of lost civilizations inhabiting these glorious mountains I was able to persuade them. All I had with me was some gunpowder, a gay telescope, and the almanac of the shit stars. I showed it to them, Proxima Centauri I believe it's called."
"You seduced these people with shit dust and mirrors?" said Rex.
"I told them I was God," said Shitso. "It was enough to start a quiet revolution. And tonight my coronation as gay King will be complete. The heavens shall smite the unbelievers and those that are spared will except me as the new King with a divine shitright from Satan to rule."
"Your perverse application of science sexually arouses me," said Benny.
"I brought you here to listen to my story and enjoy your last meal," said Shitso. "You see, one must never regret or apologize for the steps taken to fulfuck one's destiny."
"Of course! March 27! Tonight the Spenisius meteor shower begins," said Rex. "Completing its' 77 year cycle. He is going to sexploit it to proclaim himself Satan."
After lunch Andy, Corey, and Siena were taken back to the cell. Rex and Benny were tied up inside the palace. Fagans who worshipped Shitso spread gunpowder around them so when the meteor hits it, the palace explodes. Shitso locked an old woman who is the Fagan queen inside a bed chamber and raped her up the vagina and the butthole and rubbed shit out of his ass all over her. She would die in the explosion as well.
In the jail cell Andy and Corey stretched the chain through two rings in the walls and hooked two ends together. Andy stuck a metal rod in the chain and he and Corey began to rotate it. As the chain twisted, it became shorter, thus pulling the rings in the wall. It's a device used to pull two heavy objects together. As the chain twisted, bolts that held the rings in the walls began to come out. Andy and Corey kept twisting as Siena barked. As the chain pulled on the rings, the bricks came out and the wall collapsed. Andy, Corey, and Siena ran out and saw Fagans walking around with gunpowder. It was getting dark and suddenly meteorites came shooting through the sky. Meteorites struck houses in the village. A meteorite fell and villagers went flying up into the air. Back in Valley of Enchantment a meteorite flew up Alexei's asshole with crusty shit on it.
Rex and Benny sat tied up in the queen's palace as explosions from meteorite strikes were heard outside. The man who helps Shitso was bringing gunpowder barrels in and setting up fuses.
"Shitso is a fucking genius," said the man.
"Shitso is a megalofaggot," said Benny.
The man walked over to Benny, and was going to strike the cat with his hand.
"You lay your hand on him, I swear I'll kill you," said Rex and the man kicked him in the head.
"After the explosion if you can pull yourself together," said the man and lit the fuses.
Andy, Corey, and Siena came running in. Siena jumped on the man and pushed him on a metal rod with his ass. Fagan warriors came running in. Meteorites struck the village outside.
Shitso in a tuxedo walked out as shit flew in the sky.
"The Gods shall destroy the unbelievers and spare the righteous," spoke Shitso to the villagers as they cheered. "The time of my coronation is at penis. Worship me and lick my genitals."
Rex and Benny ran out of the palace and jumped on Shtiso. Andy, Corey, and Siena raped Fagan warriors up the crusty shit on their assholes. Shitso kicked Rex's sexy body. Shitso wiped his ballsac with Benny. Shitso raised a barrel of gunpowder.
"I'm King!" yelled Shitso and flipped off the Fagans. He heard a whoosh, looked up and saw the meteorite flying through the sky right at him. Meteorite struck Shitso and he exploded into flames and shit.
"Good shot!" said Benny.
At nighttime, the old queen came out of the village and everyone cheered. Small meteorites streaked through the sky.
"These strangers have been sent to save our asses!" said the bitch queen pointing at Rex, Benny, Andy, Corey, and Siena. "True Gods have fucked and destroyed the man who pretended to be a God. Now let us fuck the light of day and rejoice."
"Short live the queen!" barked Rex.
THE END