Ass of Fear
Rex and Benny walked through the forest and came to a sign that said Shit Mage.
"Must be entering Shit Mage's territory," said Rex.
Rex and Benny saw taboos made of human penises, nutsacs, boobs, and vaginas. Skeletons with bone penises, bone nutsacs, bone boobs, bone vaginas, and bone pubic hairs, hung on trees.
"Must be burial ground," said Rex.
Rex and Benny came to a tree stump seeping liquid shit out of it. Rex and Benny found the shit spring. The stink from the shit covers up the smell of decaying bodies and keeps predators away.
Rex and Benny met up with Kevin.
"We must leave," said Kevin. "Shit Mage's burial ground."
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, A BAND OF FAGGOTS SET OUT TO PROVE THE IMPOSSIBLE, THE SEXISTENCE OF A SHITTY WORLD. GERMAN SHEPHERD, GRAY CAT, STEPBROTHER, GIRLFRIEND, NIGGER, AND FAG, ALL FUCKING THE STORY OF A LIFETIME! THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT, BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. TOGETHER THEY FUCK TO SURVIVE IN THIS AMAZING WORLD OF LOST CIVILIZATIONS AND TERRIFYING CREATURES. ALWAYS FUCKING FOR A WAY HOME, A WAY OUT OF...
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN RIMFOREST, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN LAKE ARROWHEAD AREA.
REX AND BENNY 5: ASS OF FEAR
Kevin's gay glasses were knocked off. Naked men piled on Kevin and raped him. A penis penetrated crusty shit on Kevin's asshole. Kevin was grabbed and taken away into the woods. Rex and Benny ran back. They reached Rimforest. Rex and Benny ran up to the woodshop and told Andy and Corey that gay men took him away.
"When I find him, I'm gonna kill him," said Andy. "He knows he can't go into Shit Mage's territory."
Andy and Corey dropped their work and they and Rex and Benny headed into the forest. They walked through the forest. Alexei, the stupid Russian kid came out of the house. Alexei is covered with greasy skin. Alexei scrapes yellow stuff off his teeth with a finger and then licks the finger. Alexei saw the ten-foot tall green penis with leaves around it growing out of the ground. It was a plant affected by Penisfaggot. Penisfaggot is a chemical compound that gives plants, reptiles, fish, and insects penises, nutsacs, boobs, and vaginas. Alexei climbed up the plant penis and stood on top of it. Suddenly it got an erection and became 15 feet tall. Alexei fell down its peehole. The stupid Russian held on and then was pulled down the plant's peehole.
Rex, Benny, Andy, and Corey walked through the forest. They saw a taboo made of human penises. They entered the territory. They walked past a shit spring. They came out of the forest and saw a tent made of bamboo affected by Penisfaggot.
"It's too quiet. Could be a trap," said Benny.
Suddenly naked men ran out of the trees. They wore dark capes. They grabbed Rex, Benny, Andy, and Corey. A penis went up Rex's ass. Men fucked Rex. They were taken inside the tent and inside they saw Shit Mage sitting on a pile of shit. Kevin was naked and was giving Shit Mage sexual pleasures.
"We meet a-gay-n, Rex and Benny," said Shit Mage. "This is my dwelling."
Naked men surrounded the Shit Mage.
"And these are my servants," said Shit Mage. "I call them Fagicians. Kevin has become my Fagician."
And so Rex, Benny, Andy, Kevin, and Corey feasted with Shit Mage. They ate dog turds, salad made of fungus lettuce that grows up the asshole, hot dogs made of shit, fried onion vaginas. They drank piss beer and wine made of grapes affected by Penisfaggot.
"We should be going," said Rex.
"No one goes anywhere," said Shit Mage. "And Kevin stays with me until you've fulfilled my task."
The Shit Mage took out a map.
"This shit map leads to a cave in the forest," said Shit Mage. "Ass of Fear, we call it. It is too dangerous for my Fagicians to go in there, therefore, you, Rex, Benny, Andy, and Corey must travel to the cave to find the bones of my lover, Shitso."
Rex, Benny, Andy, and Corey walked out of the camp. They walked off into the woods. Corey came out of the bushes and saw a dead bear with its genitals and asshole eaten out. Shit hung off the bear's intestines.
"What could do this to a bear?" said Corey.
Suddenly a coyote jumped out of the bushes. The coyote stood in front of Corey and howled. Corey stared in terror. The coyote pushed over Corey and bit him in the penis. Benny tore into coyote's testicles. Coyote's testicles smell like piss. Benny was thrown against a tree. Oh, the pain in Benny's sexy body and genitals! Sexy body and genitals! The coyote stuck his ass in Rex's mouth and farted inside Rex. Rex shit up coyote's penis. The coyote ran off. Since Corey was wounded, he had to go back through the forest, alone. Corey headed back.
Rex, Benny, and Andy came up to a cave. Rex looked at the map.
"This is not the right shitoo sign," said Rex.
Alexei, the stupid Russian kid with gay glasses came out of the house. Alexei is expendable. Alexei's ass has stalactites made of dry shit. It was a good day for Alexei to die. A coyote jumped out of the bushes. His vagina got stuck over Alexei's head. Coyote sucked Alexei in through his vagina. So a vagina ate Alexei.
Suddenly a bear came out of the cave. The bear pissed on Benny out of his penis. The bear's penis penetrated crusty shit on Benny's asshole. Rex picked chunks of crap off the bear's asshole and put them in his mouth. Andy pissed his pants. Andy threw rocks at the bear. Andy shit his pants. Rex, Benny, and Andy ran off into the woods. Alexei wants to see Nikki's tits bathed in sweat. Rex, Benny, and Andy came up to a cave in the woods. They found the right taboo sign. It was two penises intertwined.
"You wait out here," said Rex to Andy. "Me and Benny will enter the cave."
And so Rex and Benny entered the cave. It was dark. The cave smelled like shit. Stalactites and stalagmites made of shit were in the cave. Rex sat on stalagmites with his anus. They continued on into the cave. They came to a fork in the cave. Benny went to the left and Rex went to the right. Benny continued into the cave.
Benny came up to mushrooms in the cave. They were penis shaped mushrooms.
"Penisfaggot got here," said Benny.
Suddenly the mushrooms shot gas out of them. Benny was caught in fart gas. Rex continued into the cave on the right. Rex came up to the same penis shaped mushrooms. Mushrooms fucked Rex up the ass. They shot fart gas out of them and Rex was caught in it.
One moment Benny was in the cave, the next he was on the roof of the woodshop. Alexei was on the roof of the woodshop. Alexei held Benny on the leash. Alexei is a Russian kid who used to torture Rex and Benny. Alexei used to throw pine cones at Rex. Alexei would shove full garbage bags at Rex. Alexei would tie Rex to deck stairs, fill up a trash can with water, and dump it on Rex. Alexei would swing Benny off the edge of the roof by the leash. Alexei dug a tunnel in a pile of dirt, put Benny inside and blocked it with rocks. Rex is afraid of things Alexei carries in his hands because Alexei beats him with them. Alexei tried to shove Rex in the box. Rex is afraid to go in the box, therefore Rex is being a selfish asshole towards Alexei. Alexei puts Rex between his legs, that way he can kick him in both sides at once. Rex moves away and makes it harder for Alexei to beat him. Rex is an inconsiderate piece of shit. It's all about him. Oh, I'm Rex. I don't like pain. And because of that I'm gonna make it hard for Alexei to beat me. Alexei holds a pine cone over Rex's head and Rex starts to pull on the leash because he is afraid. Alexei throws a pine cone at Rex. Rex is always hungry and thirsty. Rex is dirty. Rex does not defend himself because he is a faggot. Once Alexei put Benny on the hot roof and Benny meowed in pain as he ran in the shade. Alexei holds Rex's snout closed. Alexei used to stick Benny in a bucket of water. Alexei tied Benny behind the bicycle and Benny had to run as Alexei kept going faster and faster. In the winter Alexei buried Benny the cat in snow. Benny was freezing to death. Alexei likes to put Benny the cat in a cage. Alexei puts Benny up in the tree. Alexei once filled up a cup with his own spit and then poured the spit on Benny.
"It is you," said Benny to Alexei. "The piece of shit who tortures us."
"Yes," said Alexei in his horrible Russian accent. "I find joy and sexual turn on in that."
"But why?" asked Benny.
"Can't you see, Benny," said Alexei. "I never loved you. I only got you to torture you and I need you, to keep writing stories about you."
"No," said Benny. "It can't be. I thought you loved me."
"Poor, pathetic Benny," said Alexei.
Benny started crying.
"What have I ever done to deserve this," said Benny.
"I'm Alexei Homosexei and that is what I do," said Alexei.
Alexei picked up Benny by his leash. Benny swung on the leash over the edge of the roof.
"What do you want?" asked Benny.
"What I want? I want your shit," said Alexei.
Rex appeared in a room of a house. He saw an old female German shepherd.
"Who are you?" asked Rex.
"Why, Rex. You already know me," said the female German shepherd.
"Mom?" said Rex.
"Yes, Rex," she said.
"Why did you let them take me away," said Rex. "This terrible family where a Russian homo is torturing me."
"Rex!" said Rex's mom. "I never loved you. From the moment you were born, I knew of the shittiness that hid within."
Rex looked at the locket that appeared around his collar. There was a picture of his mom inside.
"You shitty dog," said Rex's mom. "How could I conceive such a shittiness?"
"What do you want?" asked Rex. "You can't be here. You're some kind of hallucination brought on by the psychotropic properties of a mushroom."
"I want your shit," said Rex's mother.
"Kill yourself, Benny," said Alexei. "Kill yourself before it's too late."
"You're right," said Benny.
Benny moved toward the edge of the roof.
"Kill yourself Rex," said Rex's mother. "Wash your shit off this earth."
In real life Rex stood on the edge of the cave, leaning over a cliff, with an underground river of sewage below. Andy stood outside the cave.
"They've been in there a long time," said Andy.
Andy headed into the cave and saw mushrooms affected by Penisfaggot. Andy took off his shirt and revealed his sexy body. He covered his nose and mouth. Rex fell off the edge when Andy grabbed him. Rex came to his senses. Rex and Andy ran into the left cave and found Benny standing on the same edge. Benny jumped off, when Rex grabbed him by the penis. Andy, Rex, and Benny saw the bones of Shitso, covered in mushrooms. Rex picked up the bones. They walked out of the cave.
Shit Mage sat in his bamboo tent, surrounded by his Fagicians. Kevin was there.
"Your friends are dead," said Shit Mage. "No one ass-capes the Ass of Fear."
Suddenly Rex, Benny, and Andy walked into the tent. They carried the bones of Shitso.
"My lover," said Shit Mage.
The Shit Mage picked up Shitso's skeleton. Suddenly eyes appeared in the skull.
"Shit Mage," said Shitso's skull. "You killed me. You sent me to the Ass of Fear."
Mushrooms on Shitso's skeleton were blowing fart and Shit Mage was engulfed in it and was hallucinating. Shitso's skeleton walked toward Shit Mage. Shitso's skeleton grew a penis and testicles and fucked Shit Mage. Rex and Benny saw Shit Mage screaming at nothing. Shitso's bones lay on the table. Shit Mage grabbed his scepter and fired a shit beam out of it at Shitso. The shit beam hit his Fagicians and they exploded into shit.
Rex, Benny, Andy, and Kevin walked out the bamboo tent and headed for Rimforest.
THE END