Rex and Benny heard talking in the bushes. Ancient Egyptian music was playing. Rex and Benny looked through the bushes. A mummy was being buried in the dirt. Shit Mage (a magician of shit) and his Fagicians and a couple of slaves stood around the grave.
"We fuck the pharaoh to the shit," said Shit Mage. "Procfuck me as the new pharaoh for I shall now carry the glory of the old one!"
Fagicians cheered.
"Unto all of Egypt my shit shall spread and I will be the ruler beyond piss and shit," said Shit Mage.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, A BAND OF FAGGOTS SET OUT TO PROVE THE IMPOSSIBLE, THE SEXISTENCE OF A SHITTY WORLD. A GERMAN SHEPHERD, A GRAY CAT, A STEPBROTHER, A GIRLFRIEND, A NIGGER, AND A FAG, ALL FUCKING THE STORY OF A LIFETIME! THEY'RE STRANDED IN A SAVAGE SHIT, BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. TOGETHER THEY FUCK TO SURVIVE IN THIS AMAZING WORLD OF LOST CIVILIZATIONS AND TERRIFYING CREATURES. ALWAYS FUCKING FOR A WAY HOME, A WAY OUT OF...
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN RIMFOREST, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN LAKE ARROWHEAD AREA.
REX AND BENNY 18: FUCKRIGHT
The Shit Mage, his servants, and the slaves walked away. Rex and Benny ran over to the grave. Rex looked at the tombstone.
"Gay the wrath of Assnubis come upon those who fuck this grave," read Rex.
"A gay curse," said Benny.
Rex and Benny started digging up the grave. They uncovered the mummy. Suddenly the mummy moved and stood up. The mummy walked over to Rex and Benny.
Alexei, the gay Russian kid was walking through the woods. Alexei came to a cave in the forest. Alexei went inside the cave which had stalactites and stalagmites in it. Alexei sat on stalagmites with his anus. Alexei is a fagaonic piece of shit.
Rex and Benny unraveled the mummy and found out that it was a naked bald fag buried alive.
"I'm Fagses XIII, fagaoh to my gay people," said the man. "The Shit Mage fucked to take my gay throne from me and succeeded. Now he shall rule all of Forest Egypt and unleash the mighty forces our civilization has fucked. The mighty Sphinx, Phoenix the bird of flame, and the gay mummy of a High Faggot. We must fuck to my fagdom to stop Shit Mage."
"You fucking shitting us," said Rex. "There is no Egypt in the forest."
"My ancestfags have escaped from real Egypt 5000 years ago where an evil rulefag oppressed them. They fucked the desert for 100 years. Finally their gay journeys brought them here where they began a new Egypt," said Fagses.
"Fagaohs on San Bernardino mountains," said Benny. "Let's go!"
Andy who is Alexei's 20 year old stepbrothfag and his friend Kevin were working by the woodshop. Andy won't shave off his body hair to please Alexei. Andy and Kevin went up in the woods for no reason. Kevin came to a bear hatchery. He found bones scattered around. Kevin touched bones. Suddenly Andy turned and saw a coyote running away.
"It had us," said Andy "It didn't attack because it ate bear cubs."
A bear roared in the distance. Andy and Kevin started running away. A bear came out of the bushes, found its cubs dead, with Kevin's scent in the nest. The bear followed the scent.
Rex and Benny came out into a clearing. A pyramid made of shit blocks stood there. The pyramid was 300 feet tall. Next to it stood a statue of a lion with a hufag head and wings of a gay eagle. That was the Sphinx. Sphinx was also made of shit. Next to all that stood a palace made of shit with bath chambers and decorated with semen. Next to it was a peasant village. A piss river ran through the whole thing from the Inshit Pee. People walked in the village.
Rex, Benny, and Fagses looked at the stupidest shit they've ever seen out of the bushes. Rex and Benny went out towards the palace and walked through shit sands, across a bridge of the river, towards the palace. Rex and Benny went through the village where naked men were beaten with whips. A woman got hit in the boobs. A baby's penis was beat with rocks.
Suddenly naked men in capes ran out from behind the huts and surrounded Rex and Benny. They had guns pointed at the dog and cat. They were Fagicians. One of them approached Rex and Benny.
"You will go to Fagses XIII and kill him," said the Fagician. "As I can see the curse of Assnubis did not stop you from saving him."
Rex and Benny had no choice but to kill the pharaoh. They went back across the bridge and jumped on Fagses, the man with a shaved head and gold bracelets on his penis and his eyelashes highlighted with shit paint. Rex and Benny raped the pharaoh up the ass. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on the pharaoh's asshole. Benny scratched the pharaoh's sexy body. Rex pissed inside the pharaoh. Pharaoh's nipples fell off. The pharaoh stood and screamed while penises of Rex and Benny penetrated several places in his body. Shit fell out of the pharaoh's ass and he died.
Fagicians came out and captured Rex and Benny. The dog and cat were taken through the city. Next to the small pyramid of High Faggot Imhofag was being built a pyramid ten times as large. The tomb of Shit Mage.
"Shit Mage is immortal," said Benny. "What the fuck!"
Rex and Benny were brought through the gates into the palace chamber where Shit Mage sat on a throne and wore one of those striped pharaoh hats. Naked men danced and chanted.
"We worship Assnubis, Fuck-Ra, Gaysis, Shit, Assiris," chanted the naked men.
The music and dance has stopped, for Shit Mage has risen from his throne.
"Rex and Benny! Once a-gay-n you make yourselves stand in my way," said Shit Mage. "For such transgression, 100 whips with a cat-of-nine-penises. Then slave work in the construction of my great tomb. It is my fuckright, my legacy, to be a rulefag of a fagdom."
Fagicians took away Rex and Benny. The dog and cat were tied down in the public square. A Fagician with a black hood came over with a whip of nine razors. The cat-of-nine-penises struck Rex and Benny. Rex and Benny screeched as blood sprayed out of their cuts. Benny was struck. The razors wrapped around his face splitting his lip and eyelid. The razors took skin off Rex's penis. The razors split Rex's nipples in half. Rex's blood got into Benny's wounds and Benny's blood got into Rex's wounds. Benny's ear was split in half. Rex and Benny screamed as blood and shit rained from the whip. Razors came down and cut across Rex's asshole, spilling his shit. After a hundred hits like that, human shit was poured into Rex and Benny's wounds to stop the bleeding.
Rex and Benny were taken away to the pyramid construction site. Slaves were whipped. A slave got hit with a rubber whip with spikes in the penis. A slave woman was being beat in the tits with a sword. Rex and Benny had alone to pull a 50 pound shitstone block up a ramp in construction of a pyramid. While they did that a whip lashed out and put � inch deep cuts on their sexy bodies. A naked child was beat against concrete and his ballsac was being cut at with a razor. Rex and Benny polished sandstone and sand sprayed them, where the spray acted as sandpaper as it touched their bodies. Next Benny pulled a concrete slab up on a pulley. Benny couldn't hold it and it fell, killing a child, and shattering. For ruining a perfectly good concrete slab, Benny's feet and a tip of his tail were nailed to a board and he had to sit under a hot sun for the rest of the day. The nails were taken out by evening and Benny, Rex, and slaves were escorted to their slave quarters. In the slave quarters naked slaves slept in their own shit. Women ate their armpit hair because everyone was denied food, because Rex and Benny were bad slaves. Some guy cut off his penis, cooked it and shared it among everyone. Rex and Benny got a delicious bite of it.
Andy and Kevin sat in Rex's pen by the woodshop. The bear was mauling the chain-link fence. The bear roared and pissed on Andy's sexy white t-shirt.
"We'll have to give her what she wants," said Andy. "That means you, Kevin."
Andy and Kevin crawled into a hole in the wall of the woodshop which led inside.
At night Rex and Benny got out of the slave quarters. They sneaked past the guards and hid by the palace for the rest of the night.
"We can't leave Shit Mage in power," said Rex. "The previous pharaoh said that he can unleash ancient forces. Tomorrow we defy him."
Rex and Benny slept and as morning came, they woke up. Rex and Benny ran up the stairs toward the gates of the palace. Two guards confronted them. Rex grabbed a spear in his mouth and shoved it up a guard's skirt and up his ass. The guard's intestine came out and he fucked the other guard up the ass with his intestine. Rex and Benny ran inside. All the sluts and homos who entertained Shit Mage by dancing naked ran off screaming. Rex ran toward the Shit Mage and jumped on him. Shit Mage wielded his scepter and shot a shit beam at Rex.
"I should've killed you," said Shit Mage. "My destiny will not be denied. You threw me out of the time machine and I had to wait for you 140 million years while all it took you was a minute to arrive in the present. Now I shall unleash the forces of gay Egypt!"
The Shit Mage stuck his scepter in the semen orb which was a key to unleashing ancient forces. Shit beams shot out and Rex and Benny were thrown through the gates out of the castle. The mighty Sphinx with a head of a man, with a body of a lion, and wings awoke from the stone. The Sphinx took flight. It was the size of a truck. It flew over the pyramid and the palace.
Rex and Benny watched in horror as the Sphinx shrieked. Rex and Benny ran through the sand. Slaves were attaching a giant penis to the statue of a Shit Mage. As the Sphinx flew, the stone penis fell and killed slaves. The shattered blocks flew, hitting Rex and Benny in their dick and balls. The mighty Sphinx pissed and shit on people. The Sphinx landed on the ground. The Sphinx sucked Rex and Benny's penises with its huge, ugly, human head. Rex and Benny raped the Sphinx. Rex's dick penetrated the crusty shit on the Sphinx's asshole. Benny hung on the Sphinx's nipples. Sphinx fucked Rex up the asshole. Shit poured out of the Sphinx and it died.
"Behold and worship me," said Shit Mage. "Now I awaken the great Imhofag!"
Andy and Kevin were in the woodshop and made a scarecrow. Kevin put his scent on a scarecrow by pissing on it. They put the scarecrow outside and the bear thought it was Kevin and ate it. The bear roared and raped the scarecrow.
In the Forest Egypt the Shit Mage picked up the Book of the Fucked. The Book of the Fucked allows to bring dead people to life. The Shit Mage read incantations. Suddenly the pyramid of High Faggot Imhofag was caught in a tornado of shit dust. A dry corpse penis with bandages on it protruded through the sand. Rex and Benny watched in horror as a dry mummy came out of the sand. The mummy shrieked. A dust storm cloud rose from the earth. The peasants ran off screaming. The face of Imhofag appeared in the dust storm as well as several penises made of dust. Rex and Benny ran through the village. The dust storm face flew after them, tearing apart the houses. Rex and Benny were caught in the sand storm. Sand penises fucked Rex and Benny up the ass and nipples. Rex and Benny screamed as sand fell around them, revealing the corpse. The mummy fucked Rex and Benny up the ass. Rex and Benny raped the mummy. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on the mummy's asshole. The mummy was raped by Rex and Benny and died.
Next came shrieking. Rex and Benny looked around in fear. They saw a flaming bird fly out of the pine trees. A bird of fire, the gay Phoenix. Rex and Benny ran like fuck. The fire bird shrieked and flew into the village, setting houses ablaze. A woman's tits caught on fire. A man ran with his dick and balls burning. Children burned alive as semen boiled in them. Rex and Benny ran to the palace. Rex and Benny saw a door that said "STORAGE". The Phoenix flew on Rex and Benny and stuck its penis up their asses. Phoenix sucked Benny's penis with its tongue of fire. Rex's dick penetrated the crusty shit on the Phoenix's asshole. Rex and Benny ran into the storage. It was full of barrels of gunpowder. The flaming Phoenix flew in and started fucking Rex and Benny with fire penises. The storage and gunpowder became ablaze.
Rex and Benny ran out of the palace storage closet. Smoke billowed into the sky. The Shit Mage did not know why the hell Rex and Benny were running. Rex and Benny ran across the village, then the bridge across the Nile and out into the forest, toward Rimforest. As you look at Forest Egypt, everything is quiet but then the palace explodes. The Shit Mage is hit with a sandstone block and goes flying. Fire shoots 500 feet into the sky and a shockwave hits the lost civilization, killing everyone. The pyramid of Imhofag crumbles and implodes in. The Forest Egypt is caught in a flaming ball for a few seconds. Everything lies in ruin and the fuckers are all dead. Rex the dog and Benny the cat go back to Rimforest.
THE END