Res-erection
The Osric Atunepere Hans Cosmar! The Osric Atunepere Hans Cosmar!
Rex and Benny reached a trailer park where crackhead trash lived. A druggy with a beard came out smoking a joint. Rex and Benny attacked the druggy. Rex and Benny pissed on him. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on the druggy's asshole. Benny took his joint. Rex and Benny ran away up a road and smoked a joint in the corner.
Suddenly Rex and Benny heard noises in the fog around them. There were shouts and yells and Norse faggots covered in coyote skins, with their genitals revealed ran out of the fog. They were led by a woman with a sword. The woman swung her sword at Rex. Rex was beat with a sword. Norse faggots grabbed Benny and started carrying him away. Benny screeched. Norse faggots beat Benny the cat against the pavement. A dumb blond bitch with a sword was distracting Rex. Rex jumped toward her, she extended the sword, and the sword pierced Rex's abdomen and went deep inside. Benny screamed Rex's name as he was taken away. The Norse faggots and the woman were gone in the fog. Rex lay there dying. Rimforest is located on San Bernardino mountains, 5642 feet above pee level, with a population of 400.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, A BAND OF FAGGOTS SET OUT TO PROVE THE IMPOSSIBLE, THE SEXISTENCE OF A SHITTY WORLD. A GERMAN SHEPHERD, A GRAY CAT, A STEPBROTHER, A GIRLFRIEND, A NIGGER, AND A FAG, ALL FUCKING THE STORY OF A LIFETIME! THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT, BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. TOGETHER THEY FUCK TO SURVIVE IN THIS AMAZING WORLD OF LOST CIVILIZATIONS AND TERRIFYING CREATURES. ALWAYS FUCKING FOR A WAY HOME, A WAY OUT OF...
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN RIMFOREST, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN LAKE ARROWHEAD AREA.
REX AND BENNY 19: RES-ERECTION
Rex the dog lay on the pavement dying, mortally wounded. The fog from the mountains washed over him. Hands made of fog masturbated Rex's penis. Suddenly a little boy dressed in a white robe with piss stains walked out of the fog and walked up to Rex, petting him.
"Poor, Rex the German shepherd dog," said the boy. "It is not too late you know. I can help you. You can save your cat friend."
The boy revealed his penis and pissed on the ground. And in the puddle of piss dying Rex could see Benny being put on the altar in the forest by a blond woman.
In the forest Benny the cat laid on a stone altar, in a clearing shrouded in fog. The woman raised a dagger over him after washing it in a stone thing next to the altar in piss water that flowed from it.
"Now you're ready for sacrifice to the gay Gods," said the woman while Benny stared in horror. The woman began to chant, "The Shit Mage atunepenis fucks shitmar. The Shit Mage atunepenis fucks shitmar."
This whole image disappeared in the piss puddle. A turd appeared in a child's hand. The color of the turd faded from bright brown to black and then back to brown.
"Ah, Rex's life force," said the child. "How it fucks so quickly. I can res-erect you, but in your place a fag must die. An old fag. Someone you don't even know."
"Yes, damn it," said Rex as blood leaked out of his mouth.
The child stuck the turd in Rex's wound and Rex screamed and suddenly the wound and blood were gone and so was the child. Rex got up and ran up the street, across the Highway, and into the forest to save Benny. Alexei, the retarded kid from Russia wants to have sex with a man with elephant man disease.
Benny the gray cat lay tied up on the altar and cried Rex's name while the blond woman raised the dagger over Benny. Suddenly Rex came running out of the fog and jumped on the woman, knocking her down. Rex grabbed a torch in his teeth and shoved the burning end in her tits. She screamed and kicked Rex in the jaw. Rex stumbled over while she kicked him in the nuts. Rex jumped on the woman and hit her with his snout. She landed on the stone altar on her tits. Rex jumped up and down on her boobs until blood appeared out of her nipples. While she laid, screaming in pain, Rex chewed up the ropes that bound Benny. Rex and Benny ran off into the foggy forest. The blond woman stood up and grabbed a horn. She blew the horn and Norse faggots came out of the forest.
"Let the hunt begin!" she yelled. Norse faggots screamed and ran off after Rex and Benny.
Andy who is Alexei's stepbrothfag and his friend Kevin who wears queer glasses were working in the woodshop. They talked to Alexei's dad and went out to open the storage container to get supplies. Suddenly Shitso the fat hairy-bodied fuck ran out of the fog and grabbed Andy and Kevin. He dragged them into his beat up van and threw them in the back. Shitso got in and drove off, waving to Alexei's dad. Shitso was going to drive out to the Mojave desert on the other side of the mountains.
Rex and Benny walked through the forest when they heard screams and yells and suddenly they saw Norse faggots running through trees and fog toward them. Rex and Benny ran through the woods. A spear went flying and hit a tree. Norse faggots attacked Rex and Benny. Benny the cat swung on penises. A guy came up to Rex laughing wickedly. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on the guy's asshole. Benny pissed up the ass of a Norse faggot and the guy's nipples fell off. Rex was poked with a spear. Rex was kicked by two men left and right. Rex fell to the ground. Benny jumped on the men and scratched their hairy bodies. Rex went flying up in the air and landed on a guy's helmet that had horns on it. Horns went up Rex's anus. Rex and Benny ran off.
"The stab wound felt like a blade of piss ice fucking me in half," said Rex.
Suddenly Rex and Benny saw the little boy in a white robe with piss stains on it. Rex recognized him immediately.
"It is time you told me who you're," said Rex.
"I told you someone had to die," said the boy. "I haven't told you everything. You, Rex, must kill him. But first you must release the golden penis scepter from the turd. But as for who I'm, you already know me."
"How the fuck could I know you?" said Rex. "I never met you until this morning."
"I'm Shit Mage!" said the boy as Rex and Benny stared in horror. "You see what I have become. Release my scepter so I shall fuck power everfucking! But if not, I will take back what I have so generously given."
Rex and Benny started running away from the little boy into the forest. The boy stood there when the blond woman came up to him. The boy held a turd in his hand.
"I have Rex's life force," said the boy. "It is so brittle."
Rex and Benny walked through the forest, when they saw an old man with long white hair walking through the forest. Rex and Benny came up to the man.
"Rex, I prefuck," said the man. "You have come to kill me."
The man took Rex and Benny into a house that was a small metal dome.
"My name is Bergay. I'm an agent send to retrieve Shit Mage from the world he was imprisoned on," said the man. "I was able to steal his scepter, relieving him of his powers, and trapping him in a body of a small boy. But if he ever gets his scepter, he will wield his power, and I won't be able to stand against him. Only a dog pure of soul but shitty can release the scepter. Norse faggots work for him. Wounding you, Rex, and then him res-erecting you was all part of a trap. Now you owe him your life."
"For as short as I live, I will never pull that scepter," said Rex.
"Why is he so terrible?" asked Benny.
"If I told you, it would drive you insane," said Bergay. "As for you Rex, Shit Mage always gets his way."
Rex and Benny walked out of his house and headed home. Only a dog pure of soul but shitty can release the scepter. And before Shit Mage told Rex that only he and Benny can stand in his way. Could it be that Rex and Benny have a destiny to use shit to prevent its takeover? As Rex and Benny walked, the Shit Mage, in a body of a little boy was standing on a branch of a pine tree and watching them walk. After Rex and Benny passed, he floated down in mid-fart and landed on the ground. The child Shit Mage smiled. All was going according to plan.
Rex and Benny walked out into a clearing covered in fog. Suddenly they heard shouting behind them. Norse faggots were still chasing after them with a naked blond woman in front. The little Shit Mage stood in the trees and watched. Rex and Benny ran. A spear went flying and went Benny in the asshole. Rex pulled it out with a cat turd on its tip. Rex ate the cat turd. A Norse faggot ran up and beat Rex and Benny with a staff. Rex was hit in the ballsac. Benny went flying twenty feet into the air. The staff landed a blow as Benny fell, causing his ribs to crack. Benny fell on the ground. Another ugly man with a beard came at Benny and screamed as he held a huge rock over his head with intention of crushing Benny with it. Rex jumped on him. Rex tore off the man's coyote hide and hung on his foot long chest hair. The guy had dog turds hanging in his chest hair. Rex and Benny ran. A blond dyke woman with a sword came at Rex. She kicked Rex down. Rex lied down and saw a stick sticking out of the stone next to him. Rex grabbed it in his teeth. The woman backed off. He pulled it from the stone to defend himself and suddenly saw what it was. The golden scepter with dick and balls. Rex stared in disbelief. He vowed to never draw it and now he did. Holy fucking shit! What has Rex done? Fuck, dude! Rex held the scepter in his teeth when the blond slut came up and hit him on the head with a hilt of her sword, knocking Rex out. She took the scepter and her warriors walked away.
Bergay sat in his little dome house and did ass-solutely nothing. Suddenly he heard Rex's voice calling out his name. Bergay walked out and saw the little boy talk in Rex's voice.
"The time has fucked," said the little Shit Mage in his real voice. "Rex drew the scepter. The power is mine once again. You have failed."
"The Shit Mage atunepenis fucks shitmar," chanted the woman.
The blond woman wielded the scepter and shot a shit beam at the old man. The old man screamed and shit his intestines out of his asshole. Then the stomach, liver, heart, and lungs were shit out of his asshole. Last came the brain. The blond woman gave the scepter to little Shit Mage. As he took it his shadow grew bigger and now stood a fat queer guy with curly blond hair.
"My reward?" asked the blond woman. "For serving you sire?"
"You have served me well," said Shit Mage. "But sadly, all I can do is send you to the Gods!"
The woman stared in horror as Shit Mage raised his scepter and fired a shit beam at her. She was caught in shit and her tits evaporated together with her vagina. She fell dead. Shit Mage was gone.
Benny pissed on Rex and he woke up. Rex knew what he had done. Now they must save Bergay and stop Shit Mage. Rex and Benny came running up to Bergay's house and saw the mutilated body of Bergay with his organs lying about. The blond woman also lay dead.
"Shit!" said Rex. "We're too late. We must stop Shit Mage. But where did he go?"
Suddenly a thought came to Benny. "The altar!"
The Shit Mage walked out of the forest and came to a fog choked valley. The Shit Mage walked up to the altar.
"The sexus point," said Shit Mage. "Now I shall insert the staff in the altar and summon the dominion of the shit."
Rex and Benny came running out of the fog.
"Not likely," said Rex. "I and Benny are so attached to you, we can't let go."
The Shit Mage laughed. "You know you cannot kill me Rex. Besides, you thought I came from another planet, but you're wrong. The other planet was simply a prison I was sent to by people here. Now I have returned and I shall claim shit as a cosmic power of the universe."
"I can't kill you," said Rex. "But I can damn well piss you off."
Rex farted a turd out of his ass. The turd flew and knocked the scepter out of Shit Mage's hands. The scepter hit the altar and shattered. The Shit Mage screamed and farted out of his ass. His fart threw Rex and Benny backwards.
"When I'm through with you, Rex, you'll be begging for death!" yelled Shit Mage.
The Shit Mage grabbed Rex and threw him. Rex went flying against a stone thing. The Shit Mage kicked Rex. Rex was kicked and beat against the stone altar. Shit Mage grabbed Rex by his throat and choked him. Rex struggled to breathe and was thrown in the air. He landed on the stone. The Shit Mage jumped on Rex and started crushing him with his fat body. Benny grabbed what was left of the scepter in his teeth. Benny jumped on Shit Mage and stabbed him. The Shit Mage screamed. He was caught in a shit swirl and disappeared. Rex got up.
"He'll be back," said Rex. "Our fight is only beginning, because shit never dies."
Shitso drove Andy and Kevin out to Mojave desert. It was sunny there. Andy and Kevin were cuffed to a piece of plywood in the desert. That way they laid on their backs and the sun beamed on them all day. Andy and Kevin screamed in pain. Water was poured by Shitso on their heads so they won't overheat. By sundown their bodies were so sunburned, they looked like they've been dipped in red paint. Then came the whipping with a cactus.
THE END