A Fag of Vision
Benny the gray cat pissed on his leash and it ripped as he ran through the rain storm under a car port. Suddenly Benny heard electrical crackling behind him. Benny turned around and saw a transparent person standing. A ghost made of semen. The ghost of Kevin, the freckly piece of shit fat kid with gay glasses. Either that or Benny's mind is playing tricks on him.
"I kcuf sgod dna stac yreve yad," said Kevin. Incoherent gibberish.
"What?" said Benny. "I don't understand. Tell me where you are!"
Just then Kevin's ghost was gone. Benny ran to the front of the house and saw the semen ghost walking across the intersection. A car passed right through Kevin and he was gone. Suddenly the rain stopped and the clouds cleared.
"What the hell was that?" said Benny.
"I will find and save you, Kevin, wherever you're," yelled Benny the cat. He drew letters in the sand to warn Rex of where he went. Benny ran across the intersection.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA.
REX AND BENNY 43: A FAG OF VISION
Benny didn't know where he was going. Kevin must be found. He is still alive.
Rex fell asleep under the tree. Kevin and Corey ran out of the woodshop and pulled Alexei off the roof, making him fall in the snow. Kevin grabbed Alexei�s glasses. Kevin threw Alexei�s glasses to Corey, Corey threw the glasses to Rex, Rex threw the glasses to Benny, Benny threw them back to Corey. Rex jumped up and grabbed Alexei�s gay beanie, threw it in the snow and shit on it. While Alexei was distracted by that, Kevin quickly gave Alexei�s glasses to Corey. Alexei chased after Corey. Rex ran by behind Corey�s back who handed the glasses to him. Rex grabbed them in his teeth and gave �em to Benny the cat. Benny ran to the house and buried Alexei�s gay glasses in his kitty litter pen. Kevin and Corey laughed at Alexei. Alexei the shitty Russian decided to commit suicide and jumped on the highway in front of a snowplow. The snowplow carried Alexei off with rest of the brown and yellow snow. Alexei belongs in the brown and yellow snow. Alexei died. Rex woke up from this dream. It had really happened. Back when Kevin was still alive. Rex ran back to the house and found Benny's note scratched in the ground. 'Gone to find Kevin. Benny.' Rex ran across the intersection, through town. He had to find Benny. How could he have gone alone to find Kevin. First Rex dreams about him, now Benny has to find him? Andy was driving a "Bronco". Nikki sat next to him and Corey sat in the back. Andy decided to stop by the house.
"Rex and Benny ran away," said Alexei's dad. "So I don't know how Alexei is going to write his stories now!"
"Nobody reads those fucking things," said Andy. "We'll go to the forest and find them."
As Andy drove with his friends toward the woods, suddenly a semen ghost of Kevin appeared standing on the road. Andy swerved out of the way and stopped. Nikki's tits slammed against the front. But Kevin's ghost was gone. They have all seen him. And if Kevin was alive, it meant they have to find him too.
Benny the cat ran through the field of tall grass. He saw Fagicians walk out of the forest. They were looking around. This was the territory near Shit Mage's castle. Benny headed into the woods. Benny was dying of thirst, so he put his mouth over his own penis and drank his own urine. Benny ran into the cave in the woods. Benny shit turds out of his ass on the ground. Benny ran his head into a rock sticking out of the cave wall and fell unconscious.
Rex came to the edge of the forest. Suddenly there was electrical crackling and Rex saw the ghost of Kevin. Kevin's ghost was naked with its genitals exposed.
"Kevin," yelled Rex. "Are you dead or alive? I saw you burn to death in that forest fire."
"Follow me, Rex," said Kevin's voice in the air all around him. And then Kevin spoke incoherent gibberish. "I kcip ytsurc tihs ffo ym ssa dna tae ti."
"What are you saying?" barked Rex. "I don't understand."
But Kevin's ghost made of semen was gone. Rex ran into the forest.
Andy, Corey, and Nikki walked through the forest.
"Did anyone have a dream about Kevin last night?" asked Corey.
"I dreamt about our adventure in the paradise," said Nikki.
"And the time when that German pilot captured us," said Andy.
Benny the gray cat woke up in the cave and looked around. The cave was going straight through the hillside. Benny looked up and saw Kevin's ghost. It walked around the bend in the cave and disappeared. Benny got up. He had to find Kevin. He was alive.
Rex the German shepherd dog was running through the grass field, when naked men in black hoods came running out of the forest. They were Shit Mage's servants, the Fagicians. Fagicians screamed as they ran after Rex. Rex ran with four naked men running after him wildly.
"Grab the dog! Grab the fucking dog!" yelled the Fagicians.
Fagicians pissed urine out of their dicks on Rex. Fagicians picked chunks of crusty shit off their asses and threw them at Rex. Fagicians came around Rex and grabbed him. Rex whistled and squealed in fear. Rex's four paws were grabbed. Rex was picked up. His mouth was shut. Shit was thrown in his face. Rex is afraid of being picked up. If he let Alexei the gay Russian kid who is an abusive, sadistic, motherfucking faggot pick him up, it would open up countless possibilities for animal abuse. Fagicians carried Rex into the woods. They came to a camp where a skewer sat over put out campfire. Fagicians grabbed duct tape and taped Rex to the tree.
"Oh, Shit Mage will give us a fine reward for catching his nemesis," said a Fagician. "If only we got the cat but I guess the dog will do. Everyone knows the cat is this dog's bitch."
"So take me to Shit Mage already," barked Rex.
"Oh, I don't think so," said the Fagician. "See, we're throwing a feast and you're the main course. The only good enemy is the one that is roasting slowly on spit. Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
Fagicians started the fire going. A Fagician walked up to Rex and made him drink diarrhea.
"That's internal basting for you," said the Fagician. "Good flavor!"
"I'm a powerful shit magician," said Rex. "If you eat me, you'll be cursed."
"Well, then a little bit will make me immune to the curse," said the Fagician.
Rex barked as he was untied. He was dragged over to the table. A Fagician raised a hatchet to cut off Rex's penis and then eat it.
"This is just plain fucking greedy," barked Rex. "Can't you settle for a toenail or a clump of fur."
Andy, Nikki, and Corey came screaming, running out of the bushes at the Fagicians. Corey grabbed the Fagician's hatchet. Rex was released. He jumped on the Fagicians and pissed on them. Fagicians beat Rex's sexy body. Nikki got kicked in the boob. Fagicians grabbed Rex and ran his ballsac into a tree. Rex picked up the hatchet in his jaws and jumped on the leader and drove it into his abdomen. Shit went spraying out of the intestines all over Rex. Fagicians went running away. Andy tried to grab Rex, but he dodged him.
"I'm sorry. I've got to find Benny, and if Kevin is alive, him too. These cannibals have enough to feast on," said Rex pointing at the dead leader. Rex disappeared into the forest.
Night has settled. Benny walked through the forest and fell on the ground, exhausted.
"Where the hell are you taking me, Kevin?" meowed Benny into the night. And then Benny realized something. "The volcanic grounds! That's it!"
A scorpion was affected by a chemical compound given the market name of Penisfaggot. Because of that chemical the scorpion possessed a penis and a nutsac. The scorpion crawled up on Benny and stung him in the penis. Benny passed out and fell asleep. The scorpion fucked Benny the cat up the peehole with its penis.
Rex ran through the forest and made it into a cave that Benny has run into earlier. Rex is a dog and he has night vision so he can see in the dark. Rex smelled Benny's turds on the ground, thus he knew that Benny has passed through here.
The scorpion poison simply knocked Benny out for the night and he would wake up in the morning. And so Benny dreamed. Benny the cat stands on the roof of the woodshop in Rimforest.
"Hello, my kitty," says Kevin's voice all around him out of thin fart.
"Kevin, where are you! How can I find you?" said Benny.
"How I miss the adventure, the excitement, and the thrill of it all," said Kevin. "And what I wouldn't give to do it all again. I miss you Benny, I miss you all. I've had a lot of time to think, sitting here in a fire pit, being raped by skeletons." Then Kevin's voice spoke gibberish. "Nivek si a diputs omoh." Benny woke up from the dream. It was morning. He continued on to find Kevin.
Rex walked out of the cave into the woods. He walked a little bit when there was a growl.
"My favorite carnivore," said Rex. A grizzly bear walked out of the bushes. Rex ran back for the cave. The bear chased after him through the woods. Rex fell down. The bear towered over him on rear legs. Rex pissed at the bear out of his penis. Rex got up and ran. He went crawling into the tiny cave. A bear couldn't fit into it so it stood at the entrance and growled.
Benny was walking through the woods when suddenly a hologram manifested in front of him. It floated like a transparent TV screen in the air. And Benny suddenly knew what it was. The storm had scattered Kevin's memories throughout the mountains like a d�j� vu. And a hologram showed Benny Kevin's memories. Kevin was naked and was giving Shit Mage sexual pleasures.
The bear has run off. Rex walked out into the woods. He sniffed the ground and picked up Benny's ballsac stink. Suddenly there was a roar and Rex froze in sexy fear as he thought the bear was behind him, but when he turned around he saw a magical memory hologram of Kevin floating in the air. A bear roared in the distance. Andy and Kevin started running away. A bear came out of the bushes, found its cubs dead, with Kevin's scent in the nest. The bear followed the scent. And then the hologram was gone.
"The storm scattered Kevin's memories," said Rex. "Like images frozen in time."
Benny ran out onto the field and collapsed from thirst. Benny saw eagles screeching and flying over him, waiting until he died so they can feast.
"Not today, boys," said Benny and farted shit up into the air out of his ass. The eagles flew away in fear. Suddenly Benny saw Kevin's semen emanation ghost walk off into the woods in broad daylight. Benny got up and suddenly another memory hologram projected in the air. Suddenly a man in a German uniform walked out of the bushes and said in German, "Euch ar mein gefungen!" The pilot was pointing a gun at Andy and Kevin. Hologram disappears.
Benny ran through the forest. He headed into the pine trees. There he came to another clearing. Steam shot out of the ground here. Some fires exploded out. Benny walked up to a deep crevice in the ground 3000 feet deep. From it escaped some steam. Benny watched a swirling pool of magma glowing in the crevice.
"Kevin! Why did you lead me here? There is nothing here!" meowed Benny.
Suddenly Kevin ghost's voice spoke out of the air around him speaking gibberish. "Nas Onidranreb sniatnuom lliw eb dekcus otni a kcalb eloh!"
Memory hologram in the crevice appears. "We all made it out, except Kevin," said Rex.
"We gave him an ass-venture," said Benny. "I'm sure he is happy for that."
Benny was amazed. It was Kevin's memory, BUT AFTER HE HAS DIED! HOLY SHIT!
"You want me to kill myself?" said Benny as he balanced on the edge of the crevice over magma. "So I'll be a ghost like you?"
Rex was running through a clearing when he saw Fagicians run out and surround him with crossbows.
"We got you fucking dog," said the Fagician. "I'm gonna murder this piece of shit." Suddenly Kevin's ghost appeared. "Fuck off with you!" said Kevin. Fagicians ran away yelling in fear of ghosts and demons.
Rex came to volcanic grounds and saw Benny balancing on the edge of the crevice. Rex barked Benny's name as Benny fell over and went screeching as he fell down into a pit that had the deepest bottom filled with magma. Rex screamed as he ran over to the crevice. Benny fell! He killed himself! What the fuck did Kevin do! Why, damn it why? Rex sat on the ground and whimpered. Rex put his head on his paws. His best friend has died.
Suddenly a burst of wind came from the crevice, followed by screeching. A cat went flying up into the air out of it. Benny fell on the ground, next to Rex. Rex ran over to Benny and licked the sexy kitty out of happiness for him being alive.
"It was the most amazing thing," said Benny. "I fell over and as I was falling, I heard Kevin's voice. Some part of him is still alive in these mountains. Then this wind came and lifted me back up. I went flying up out of the crevice and landed here. He also tried to give me a message. Last thing he said was gibberish, but it felt important."
"Well, Kevin," said Rex. "If you're a ghost, I want you to know you're still our stupid friend."
Rex and Benny headed home through the woods.
THE END