Ghost Shitship
"That sounds like a set of 350 horsepower engines used by U. S. Fart Force Shitnaught-Class hovercrafts," barked Rex.
(Fuck, fuck, fuck!) Over the house spread a shadow as a hovercraft with cockpit in the front and a cargo bay the size of semi-trailer floated over the house. The semi-trailer looking thing had ten propeller fans rotating underneath for lift and four blade engines on the sides. A mooring ladder hung off the cockpit door. Four small wings were on the rounded back of the ship used to control altitude and steering. (Fuck, fuck, fuck!) Rex and Benny pissed on their leashes, which ripped. They ran out on the driveway.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA.
REX AND BENNY 44: GHOST SHITSHIP
Rex, Benny, Nikki, Corey, and Siena stared in amazement as the hovercraft floated over VOE. It cast a shadow upon the house. Its multiple fans created wind. (Fuck, fuck, fuck!) As the hovercraft was flying low, its mooring ladder flew right past Corey and over the intersection. Corey ran after it.
"Go Corey," barked Rex. "Get on that ship!"
Corey went climbing up the ladder as the hovercraft disappeared behind the houses. Nigger Corey climbed up the ladder and opened the door. He entered a cockpit and saw that windows were broken. Inside was a room for sleeping quarters of 3 or 4 crew members. The steering wheel was abandoned, some of the gauges and controls were smashed. Glass was lying on the floor with torn up wires hanging out.
"Anybody on board," yelled Corey and saw out the window that he was flying over the forest.
Suddenly Shitso the fat guy in a captain uniform walked out of the corner. Corey turned, saw him, and offered a handshake.
"Corey Lyles," said Corey. "Rex and Benny sexpedition. Are you the pilot?" "Not anymore!" said Shitso and socked Corey in the face. Corey's gay glasses went flying out the window into the trees below.
Nikki ran down Highway 138 followed by two dogs and a cat. Rex, Siena, and Benny. They came to the edge of the forest. The hovercraft could not be seen or heard.
"We shouldn't have sent Corey on that hovercraft," said Benny.
"Judging from speed and altitude that hovercraft was coming in for a landing," said Rex.
Rex, Benny, Nikki, and Siena ran out onto the clearing. They all stood under an oak tree in the woods. Rex pissed into the wind.
"Judging from the direction and force of the fart wind it will take at least half an hour to turn that ship around," said Rex.
So they sat under a tree until they heard a person screaming. Rex and Benny went running for help and Nikki followed with Siena. Rex and Benny saw a bear standing over a mound and growling. Shitso in a captain uniform was sitting in the crack of the hill as the bear stuck its paws into cracks. Rex ran over under a leaning rock and found the bear's cubs sitting there. Rex grabbed one in his teeth and started dragging it away. The bear turned around and saw Rex. It set off after him. Rex ran around the trees. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on the bear cub's ass. Rex left the cub lying on the ground and ran back to Nikki and Siena.
Shitso crawled out of the hill crevice and Benny led him to Nikki and Siena.
"What fucking luck," meowed Benny the cat. "We run into your stupid ass? And I think you came from that hovercraft."
"Yes," said Shitso. "I got lost in the pissine (marine) layer below the mountains. My hovercraft drifted for days and then after a violent thunderstorm it got torn up and I landed here."
"Which fucks the question," barked Rex. "Where is Corey. He grabbed the ladder and climbed onto your ship."
"I don't know what you're fucking about," said Shitso. "I jumped out of the ship when it touched low to the ground over the forest. Maybe Corey fell off the ladder when he was climbing."
"It is a gay possibility," said Benny. "We didn't see him get in the cockpit."
Rex and Benny headed over the hill to find where the hovercraft might have landed. Shitso, Nikki, and Siena followed them. Rex and Benny were walking down hill when Benny saw danger and jumped on Rex, pushing him on the ground. An eagle screeched as it flew over Rex.
"There must be a nesting colony nearby," said Benny.
Back in town, Alexei the gay Russian kid with gay glasses, walked out of the house. Suddenly an eagle came screeching out of the sky and grabbed Alexei in its claws. It lifted him up and let go. The faggot flew into sign pole with his penis and nutsac. Its okay! Alexei has nothing there.
Rex and Benny came to a clearing and saw the hovercraft with a cockpit, and a box shaped storage space. Two of the fans were broken. Rex and Benny ran up to it and saw the door to the cockpit open. Suddenly there was screeching and another eagle came flying. Rex and Benny ran inside the cockpit. The eagle flew by the broken windows. Rex and Benny saw the mess inside. Torn up wires, smashed gauges. Benny opened a door in the back and went into the cargo bay. There was nothing in there except a big pile of shit with flies around it. Flies flew up Benny's ass. Benny rolled in a pile of shit.
"It makes me doubt this hovercraft has been in use by U. S. Fart Force," said Benny.
Rex walked into crew living quarters and found cots covered in shit and piss. Rex stepped in turds. Rex walked out and saw multiple fuel tanks lining the side of the hovercraft, some were leaking.
"This is a deathtrap," said Rex. Benny came out. Shitso, Nikki, and Siena came running up.
"So, you fucking asshole," barked Rex. "Tell us exactly what happened."
"This hovercraft was used to pinpoint Russian spy submarines which venture into West Coastline. We were caught in a terrible storm," said Shitso. "Wind and piss tore through the hovercraft, sending my crew flying out one by one. As they fell wind and rain masturbated their genitals. I'm sorry, I still hear their screams."
"So what do we do now?" asked Rex.
"The hovercraft has eight fans instead of ten now," said Shitso. Shitso reached down his pants, took a chunk of crusty shit off his ass and ate it. "If you help me take off the auxiliary forward fucking engines, we could significantly decrease weight, get it fartborne again."
Nikki and Shitso started banging at two engines with hammers to break them off. Siena ran around, wagged her tail, and sniffed the ground. Siena is constipated. Rex and Benny walked off into the woods to find Corey. Rex and Benny walked through the forest and found gear scattered all across the woods. They found canteens of food, water, some guns. Then Benny found an Air Force survival manual.
"Let's see if they have a chapter about coyotes," said Benny. Rex laughed.
"Judging from the dents these objects fell from a great height," said Rex. "Probably out of that hovercraft."
Rex found a journal on the ground and opened it. He looked through logs of missions over Pacific Ocean. Hunting Russian submarines. The last entry was February 26, 1997. Rex flipped the page with his penis and was amazed to find another entry in a different handwriting. He called Benny over. My crew deserved the fate I forced upon them. They created too much weight. This new experimental hovercraft was losing altitude, damaged by a shit storm. My only consolation is bullets fucked swifter than the alternative.
"My Satan," said Rex. "He killed his own crew." Rex grabbed the logbook in his teeth and ran with it. Rex and Benny ran up to the engine that Shitso was hammering off. The engine fell and hit Rex and Benny's sexy bodies.
"Hey asshole," said Rex. "We know your secret. You killed your own crew." Shitso looked in the logbook and told that it wasn't his handwriting. Then Shitso grabbed a gun out of the holster. Rex and Benny jumped toward him when shots were fired. Bullets hit the eagle screeching above and killed it.
"I just saved your damn asses," said Shitso. "The eagle would've killed you."
Rex, Benny, and Siena stood in front of Shitso. Nikki broke off the other engine. The hovercraft had only two engines now. Shitso grabbed a gun and pointed it at two dogs and a cat.
"We're going to take a little ride," said Shitso. "Into the hovercraft or I shoot you right here."
"You son of a bitch!" barked Rex.
Shitso kicked Rex in the stomach and led him, Siena, Benny, and Nikki in the cockpit. Shitso pulled duct tape out and taped their paws and hands together. Next he put leashes on them and tied them to the railing.
"You did kill your own crew," said Benny.
"For all the good it fucked me," said Shitso. "7 years ago the hovercraft got caught in a terrible storm and was sinking. I shot my own crew and threw them overboard to lighten the weight. But the hovercraft sank and crashed into a mountain. It exploded, I died. But then as under some fuck, the ship restored itself and so I relived the same crash every night for seven years."
Shitso pulled a knife and stabbed himself in the heart and then pulled it out. No blood, no ill effect. Then Shitso pulled on the controls. Engines hummed to life. The fans under the floor rotated and the hovercraft floated over ground. Lightning began to strike. A storm from seven years ago was coming again just as it did every night, as Shitso relived his curse. The hovercraft floated and took off into the sky. The wing flaps pointed up as the ship rose over the forest. Ghost Shitso cut Rex, Benny, Siena, and Nikki free.
"Rex will take the place of a new pilot," said Shitso. "My crew! Take your stations."
Brown shit clouds billowed and rolled into the sky covering the forest in eternal blackness. Wind tore through the cabin of the hovercraft. Shit went flying in from broken windows.
"The only way to stop the curse, is to have a new crew fuck my place," said Shitso.
"He is like the Fucking Dutchfag," said Rex. "Who was cursed to fuck the seas for eternity."
The hovercraft rose ever higher into the brown shit clouds. The altimeter showed 3000 feet.
"About your friend Corey," said Shitso. "Behold once we reach 3600 feet."
Altitude reading: 3400, 3500, 3600 feet. Suddenly a semen ghost of Corey appeared. Rex and Benny stared in amazement as the semen ghost materialized into Corey.
"I killed Corey!" said Shitso. "We're now in a new dimension, where time fucks in a continuous loop. There is a different reality at fuck here, Rex and Benny! Corey has reappeared on this ship and so he will every night for eternity to die again. At 3600 feet is where it all begins."
Suddenly the ship restored itself. The set of engines they removed appeared again. All windows and equipment was intact. Rex and Benny barked and meowed as they jumped on Shitso and smacked him against the control panel.
"Once I get off this ship, my curse will be over and yours will begin! I will be mortal fag again!" said Shitso.
The engines roared as the ship dipped and started moving downwards. Shitso kicked Rex's sexy body. Benny went flying into Nikki and scratched her tits. Rex jumped on Shitso. Shitso grabbed Benny and threw him out of the cockpit door. Benny went falling into shit blackness, but grabbed the mooring ladder and dangled in the shit wind. (FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!)
"Hold on, Benny," yelled Rex. (FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!)
Wind tore at Benny as lightning flashed and Benny saw the forest 1000 feet below him in a whirlwind of shit. Rex stretched his paw to Benny. Corey jumped on Shitso. Shitso grabbed a parachute and went falling out of the ship taking Corey with him. They screamed as they disappeared falling into the night storm. Shitso and Corey fought over the parachute as they fell.
Rex pulled Benny up off the mooring ladder. Rex, Benny, Nikki, and Siena ran over to the controls. The steering wasn't responding. Neither were other controls. Altimeter fell to 900 feet. The hovercraft flew through the shit maelstrom. (Fuck, fuck, fuck!) In a flash of light they saw a cliff in front of them. The hovercraft was headed straight for it. There were no parachutes left on board. Rex and Benny desperately fought to keep the controls going, but it was a ghost ship, cursed to repeat the same deadly crash. The cliff was right in front of them in a flash of lightning.
"It's been one hell of a fuck, Rex!" yelled Benny. Nikki screamed like a fucking bitch.
"Well it's not over yet!" yelled Rex. "I will not let the murderous history of this hovercraft refuck itself!"
But it was too late to do anything. Rex, Benny, Nikki, and Siena screeched in horror as the cliff came into view just a few feet in front of the cockpit. Death has come! Shit fell out of their asses. The hovercraft flew through the unnatural shit storm, into the darkness. It crashed into the cliff. Fire shot through its fuel tanks. The cargo bay exploded, cracking in half. The stabilizer wings came off in flames. The hovercraft exploded like a new sun which lit up the darkness�
�TO BE CONTINUED�