Fuck of the Beast
Rex the German shepherd dog and Benny the gray cat were tied in the backyard on leashes upon which they pissed. As their leashes ripped, they jumped into the open window of the house. The monkey ran upstairs where Alexei the shitty skinny Russian kid with glasses was typing up "Rex and Benny 39: Fuck of the Beast" on a computer. The monkey masturbated Alexei's penis. Rex the dog growled and barked as he jumped on the monkey. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on the monkey's asshole. The monkey ran back down the stairs, grabbed an amber bracelet off Alexei's dead mom, and jumped out the window.
Andy drove up to the house in a Bronco with Nikki and nigger Corey. Benny the gray cat went jumping out the window and stepped in Rex's dog shit with his paws. The monkey ran up a tree and Benny went after it. The monkey dropped bitchy mom's bracelet in a nest made of dry shit and jumped down and ran off. Nikki ran up to the tree and brought Benny down. Benny pulled the nest off the tree and it fell on the ground. It was filled with treasures and goodies.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA.
REX AND BENNY 39: FUCK OF THE BEAST
Nikki found a black turd in it with a white picture of a coyote head on it among watches and jewelry. The monkey stole all that stuff. She turned it over in her hand and found an inscription.
" 'In your hand fucks the origin of all hufagity'," read Nikki.
Andy, Corey, and Nikki went in the woodshop to look at the turd. Nikki looked down her tank top and saw a black stain of a coyote head on her boob just like the one on the turd.
"It stained my boob," said Nikki.
Andy picked up the turd and looked at it. Then he looked at his own chest.
"Nothing," said Andy.
Andy went inside the house and walked up the stairs into Alexei's bathroom. Andy took off his pants to take a piss. Urine poured out of Andy's penis in the toilet. Andy saw a tattoo imprint of a coyote head on his penis.
Down in the garage Corey picked up the turd.
"It must've been filled with some kind of dye or ink which caused the stain," said Corey.
The monkey was sitting on the roof of someone's house in VOE when in a flash of brown light it turned into Shitso the fat fuck man. A female black parrot came flying up to him.
"Holy shit!" yelled Shitso. "I'm free. Too bad for you, Kelly."
"Oh, well," said the parrot. "I'm horny! You want to fuck?"
Shitso got an erection. The parrot flew down and sat on it. Shitso touched the parrot's plump feathery body. Shitso's penis went in the parrot's asshole with crusty shit on it.
Andy came running into the woodshop and showed everyone his penis. Corey looked at his own penis and saw a coyote head tattoo on it too. Rex and Benny came walking in.
"Ha! The faggots were branded," barked Rex.
Shitso was walking through the forest with a parrot hanging on his penis when naked people with greenish skin came up to him. The parrot flew off.
"Shitso," said a woman with green boobs and a knife. "Give us back the turd."
"They took it," said Shitso. "But I can show you where they went."
Rex, Benny, and Corey decided to go and find an ancient mystic named Vaginicus who lives in the woods. Maybe he could shed some shit on this matter. They walked down the road, through town. They passed a sign that said "Crestline, pop. 1500, elev. 4720ft" and came to the forest. Corey was carrying the turd and tripped on a rock. The turd went flying out of his hand and Rex caught it in his teeth. Just then a coyote head appeared on his pink penis.
"Looks like I'm part of the club," barked Rex.
Corey walked Rex and Benny on leashes while they went through the woods. Shitso and the people with greenish skin were watching them.
"There they are," said Shitso.
The people grabbed their bows and arrows. An arrow flew and got stuck in Rex's collar. Benny lifted up his tail and ran. People came running out of the trees at them. Corey snorted as he ran through the forest at them. Corey tackled them out of the way. Rex began barking and howling. Rex ran through the forest as arrows struck around him. Rex got up on his rear legs and started running.
"What the fuck!" meowed Benny.
Corey oinked as he ran through the forest and shit in his pants. Men grabbed Benny and shoved him down Corey's pants. Benny was bathed in Corey's shit inside his pants. Rex came at a chick with greenish tits and started punching her in them with his front paws.
"Get the fuck away from us! All of you! Now!" barked Rex.
A guy aimed an arrow at Rex. Rex came jumping at the guy, tackled him with his front paws. As the guy laid on the ground, screaming, Rex danced on his rear legs on his ballsac. The attackers ran off. Rex walked over on his rear paws to Benny.
"Well, let's get going," said Rex to Benny who stared in amazement at Rex.
Back in the garage there was some mouse infestation so Alexei's stepdad who is a woodworker set up some mouse traps. Nikki was getting cold so she wrapped some blankets around her sexy body. She saw a dead mouse in a trap behind a stack of lumber. She hissed at how tasty it was. Andy jumped on the work bench and crouched on it.
"Nikki, are you alright?" asked Andy. He took off his shirt and plucked at his armpit hair with his mouth.
Nikki picked up the dead mouse off the trap, licked shit off its butthole, bit off its penis and testicles, then stuck the whole thing in her mouth and ate it.
Corey grunted and oinked as he walked through the forest. Corey found some leaves on a tree branch and started eating them. Rex walked on rear legs and sniffed the air.
"Shit!" barked Rex. "Something's wrong. I can't smell anything. Barely even my own asshole. And my vision is all bright. Nothing's gray and white anymore. I�m beginning to understand what color is!"
"Corey," meowed Benny. "You're acting like an animal. And Rex is acting like a human!"
The people were still following them through the forest a few yards behind. Rex turned around, saw them, and came sprinting through the forest on two rear legs at a guy who was watching him. The guy started running away as Rex jumped on him. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on the guy's asshole. He pissed inside the guy and kept punching him in the face with his front paws. He kicked him in the stomach with his rear leg and shit poured out of the guy's nose.
Back in the woodshop Nikki hissed as she came at Andy. Andy started backing away. Nikki tore off her clothes and stuck out her tongue like a reptile.
"Have sex with me," she said. Nikki cried out in pain, fell down on the floor, was caught in a flash of bright light and became a rattle snake which crawled on the floor of the woodshop.
"Nikki? Is that you?" squacked Andy.
Benny and Corey left Rex to beat the shit out of a bunch of people and went running through the forest. They came to a canyon. A stream flowed 200 feet below. Corey and Benny ran across the log. Corey looked down and screeched in fear. The attackers came behind them. Arrows came shooting. An arrow scratched Benny's ballsac. Benny fell and hung on the log with his claws. Corey snorted as he grabbed Benny by his paw and brought him up on the log. The attackers came from both sides of the log at Corey with Benny the cat in his arms.
Corey was put in a cage with Benny in a small settlement of a few straw houses. The woman with green tits looked through Corey's pockets and found the turd.
"We're the Gaynu," said the woman. "The origin of all hufagity. God of the savage pisses, we pray to you." The woman held up the turd.
"I know where the savage pisses are," meowed Benny.
Shitso came running up, pushed the woman down, grabbed the turd and ran off into the forest. The Gaynu people chased after him. Shitso climbed up a tree, took a banana out of his pocket, used it to pretend like he is sucking penis, and then ate it. When the Gaynu ran off, Shitso got down off the tree.
In the woodshop Andy reached down his pants and found feathers growing where his pubic hair used to be. In a flash of light Andy became a hawk. He flapped his wings and flew up on a support beam of the woodshop roof. Nikki the snake crawled out from under the garage gate, outside, and into a trash can. The door in the garage was open, so Andy the hawk flew out. Andy the hawk flew over town and took a shit on a windshield of a car.
Shitso sat in the forest when his parrot flew up and landed on a tree branch.
"Trouble! Trouble!" said the parrot.
Rex came running up on his rear legs and punched Shitso in a face with his front paw.
"What the hell are you doing here?" barked Rex.
"No need to get angry," said Shitso. "It only speeds things up."
"Speed what up," barked Rex as he paced around him on rear legs.
"Your friends touched the turd, including you. Well whoever touches it, turns into an animal. In your case, you're already an animal, so you're turning into a human. I figured that if I let someone take the turd, I'll become human again, and it worked!" said Shitso.
Corey and Benny sat in a cage. Corey was eating pine needles on the bottom of it. In a flash of bright light Corey turned into a boar with tusks.
"Holy crap," meowed Benny. "Corey became an animal. Which means Nikki and Andy could've become animals too. But if humans are going backwards in evolution, but Rex is already an animal, meaning he is evolving forward into a human."
Rex beat the shit out of Shitso and took the turd away from him. Rex followed the Gaynu tracks into the village and saw Benny the cat and Corey the boar sitting in a cage.
"Where the fuck is Corey?" barked Rex as he opened the cage door with his front paws.
"You're looking at him," meowed Benny nodding at the boar. Benny the cat walked out. Corey the boar walked out of the cage and oinked as he ran off into the forest.
"Rex!" meowed Benny. "You got the turd. We need to go to savage pisses and bring it back to the point of origin. Only then we can have hope of saving you and our friends."
Alexei the shitty Russian was walking through the forest. A crazy bitch woman caught Alexei, tied him up in her basement, broke his legs, just so Alexei could be hers forever and write "Rex and Benny" stories for her, and be her husband. Alexei�s motto in life is: �What can I do? There is nothing I can do.� For sexample if Rex pisses into Alexei�s shoe, what can Alexei do? There is nothing Alexei can do about it.
As they ran through the forest, Gaynu set off after them. Andy the hawk went flying over the forest, swooped down, grabbed a squirrel off a tree and flew off with it.
Arrows trilled as they hit the trees one after another. A man came behind Rex. Rex grabbed him with his teeth and threw him over his head. Rex kicked the man in the stomach. Benny and Rex went running out of the forest and came to a sewage pond in the woods. In the middle of it stood a statue with a stone butthole. That is where the turd has to be inserted.
As Gaynu people came at Rex he threw the turd to Benny who caught it in his teeth. A coyote head mark appeared on Benny's penis. Benny carried the turd in his teeth as he wadded his body through piss and shit and toilet paper. Rex kept punching and kicking the Gaynu people. He was almost ready to change from a dog into a human. The woman with green tits came at Rex and clubbed him on the head. As Rex fell down, the Gaynu crawled all over him and started beating his sexy body.
The woman threw shit at Benny as he walked through the sewage pond. Alligators with ballsacs and penises swam through sewage and chomped at Benny. Benny walked up to the statue of some gay god and stuck the turd in its asshole. Brilliant piss colored light shot through the forest in radiance. Rex stood up on four legs. Toads with penises and nutsacs crawled all over Rex. Toads sucked Rex's penis and crawled up his ass. Rex shook them off and shit them out of his ass. The light from the turd was gone.
"Holy shit!" barked Rex. "The Gaynu all turned into toads."
"That's what they were to begin with," meowed Benny.
Rex and Benny saw Shitso walk out of the forest holding hands with an ugly woman covered in make up. "Meet Ho Bag Kelly," said Shitso. "She was the parrot."
Nikki the human girl got up from the pile of trash. Andy the hawk was flying a few feet over the roof of the house, when he became human again, fell and hit his sexy body. Andy jumped off the roof. Corey the boar was rolling in his own manure when he turned into a black naked kid and got up. The coyote head marks were gone. Rex and Benny have restored evolution.
THE END