Divine Shitright
"You know, Rex," said Benny. "When we run away to sexplore the forest, we could use signal mirrors by reflecting sunlight to warn each other with a Morse code."
Rex and Benny pissed on their leashes and they ripped. Rex and Benny walked out onto the driveway. The house was on the intersection of Pisses Dr. and Highway 138. Rex and Benny saw Bill, a bald fat garbage man, with long beard. All hair on his body are pubic hair and he is always smoking a cigarette. Rex and Benny stood on the driveway when suddenly a black horse came galloping across the road up to the house. The horse stopped by Rex and Benny. Benny came over to the horse but it stood up on its rear legs and whinnied.
"Okay," said Benny. "We rape the horse in the following manner. Our dicks penetrate the crusty shit on the horse's asshole. Next we piss inside the horse. As it fills with piss its nipples will fall off. The horse will shit all the shit out of its ass and die."
The horse lied down on the ground. Rex got on top of it into the saddle. The horse stood up and started galloping away after pissing on Benny. The horse galloped down Hwy 138, along houses and towards the National Forest. Rex tried to get off but reins magically wrapped around him.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA.
REX AND BENNY 26: DIVINE SHITRIGHT
The National Forest is located a quarter mile down Highway 138. The horse galloped into the forest. Rex pissed and shit on the horse but reins wouldn't let him go. After about going a mile through the forest Rex arrived at the walls where two guards in fur coats stood on the towers. The gates were opened and the horse with Rex galloped into the village inside and stopped. Villagers gathered to look at Rex. The reins let go and Rex jumped off. Shitso, the fat guy dressed in a tuxedo with a dark cape came over to Rex.
"What dark shit magic you use to ride Gaydall the horse," asked Shitso. "Gaydall only allows a true Fag to ride it. It is only possible that you're using dark spells over him."
"Listen Shitso," said Rex. "Fuck the crap. I'm not the Fag of your village and the horse brought me here for no reason."
"You can ride Gaydall if you're true Fag," said Shitso. "But you're not. Kill him."
Warriors with spears and fur coats advanced on Rex.
"I rode the horse so I must be Fag," said Rex. "I'm a Fag. That's the only reason he let me ride."
Warriors and villagers bowed before Rex.
"The Fag has returned to us," said Shitso. "Let us celebrate!"
Benny was by the house in VOE. Andy and his black friend Corey came. Andy smokes cigarettes. Benny told them that Rex rode off on a horse. Darkness came but nobody ever could just track Rex down. They sat at night, hoping Rex would come back.
Rex and Shitso sat in the log house where a feast was thrown. A cooked blue jay and semen wine was brought out for Rex.
"Sire," said Shitso. "It is an honor to have you as Fag of our village. Here is a wonderful place where we have always lived with magic."
"I'm afraid to ask what happened to the previous Fags," said Rex.
"The dragon killed them," said Shitso. "The dragon lives nearby in the forest. Every month we offer sacrifice to appease the dragon. Many Fags have tried to defy the dragon and failed. But the same horse, Gaydall, served them and would choose a new Fag, worthy and honorable one. I have been an advisefag to the Fags many years."
After a wild feast, Rex was locked in private quarters. He wore a crown of gold penises and was fucked by two hookers with unshaved pussies and armpits. In his chamber Rex saw a carving of a dragon and a knightfag fighting it. After having hot sex, Rex got out of the house and walked up to the black horse.
"Go find my friends," said Rex.
Rex opened the gate and the horse ran out. Horse ran out the gates of the village, through the forest, and into town.
Benny, Andy, and Corey sat outside at night by their truck. Alexei's dad couldn't yell Rex's name. Too many houses around and people might think he is crazy. Alexei the stupid Russian kid came. Benny pissed on Alexei's glasses. Alexei started licking piss off his glasses.
"You fucked up everything, you stupid Russian," said Benny. "Fucking asshole! Get the fuck out of America you stupid faggot with your gay glasses." Benny turned to Andy and Corey. "He writes fucking stories where it says that he is a Soviet communist or something like that. Get the fuck away from us. I'll kick your Socialist, Bolshevist, Marxian Socialist, Marxist, Proletarian ass."
A horse galloped out of the night across the Highway and strolled around in front of them. The horse started running back into the darkness.
"Follow the fucking horse," yelled Benny.
Benny, Andy, and niggfag Corey ran after the horse. NIGGER COREY'S TAR SOAP. BLACK SOAP FO' BLACK FACES. As they ran down Highway 138, Benny jumped on a group of kids smoking pot. Benny grabbed the joint in his mouth and ran as he smoked. The horse headed into the forest.
In the village, Shitso in a tuxedo came over to the stable and found the horse gone. Shisto screamed with rage. He had to kill that horse or he would never be Fag himself.
Morning came. As being proclaimed a Fag of the village, Rex now had to give a speech.
"The days of my shit have been fucked with glory," spoke Rex. "My name has fucked in our land. Sailfags would bring me great stones of shit. I have fucked no fear, as a dog I fucked in endless battles. I'm shitty now and I will fuck again, seek shit still, if dragon fucking in the forest dares to fuck me!"
The guards on the towers saw Gaydall the horse running up and Benny, Andy, and Corey come up to the gates. The gates have opened and men in fur coats and spears walked out.
"What strangefags dare to fuck here?" said the guard.
"They're my friends," said Rex as he walked up. "Let them in."
Benny, Corey, and Andy walked into the village.
"I'm a King of this village now," said Rex.
Benny walked up to Shitso and read Shitic runes on his cape.
"Many Fags have faced the dragon, none have returned. Kings Shitmund, Solofag, Dogshit, Faggot have all been killed," read Benny.
"Don't be reading my shit," yelled Shitso. "Now it is time for Rex to prove himself. As the tradition of this gay village he must fight with quarterpenises. A King must prove his worth."
Rex was given a quarterstaff in his teeth. Bill the garbage man came out. He was naked and his fat sexy body covered with pubic hair was revealed. He has lice in his pubic hair. Rex and Bill stood on planks over a hole. Inside the hole was a hungry coyote running around and chomping at them. One will fall in and get eaten.
Rex hit Bill in the ballsac with a quarterstaff. Bill beat Rex. Rex jumped on him and pushed. Bill regained his balance on the plank and hit Rex with a stick. Bill yelled as if he was victorious. Rex jumped up on the plank and shoved a stick up Bill's ass. The starving coyote was jumping up and down in the hole trying to get its meal. The coyote was going crazy. Rex pulled out the stick with shit on it out of Bill's ass and Bill licked shit off of it. Bill beat Rex down with the staff and Rex hung on the plank with his teeth. Bill threw up his arms in victory and waved his penis at spectators. Benny, Corey, and Andy watched in horror. Coyote was jumping up, trying to get Rex. Rex crawled up on the plank. Bill was not paying attention and Rex pushed him. Bill fell down into the hole and the coyote tore into him. It tore out his intestines filled with shit and ate them. It ate the bladder filled with piss.
"The dragon requires a sacrifice," said Shitso. "Now let the magic show us."
Shitso threw magical shit dust in the flames of the fire. Fart smoke shot up and in the smoke Benny the gray cat appeared.
"The dragon wants Benny," said Shitso. The guards came over and grabbed Benny. Rex explained Andy and Corey the story about the dragon.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" said Rex. "I being as King say there will be no more sacrifices to the dragon."
"Sire," said Shitso. "The magic told us to sacrifice Benny. If the offering is not made the dragon will destroy the village. Unless of course you shall challenge the dragon."
"I will defeat this dragon, Shitso, I swear it on my shit," said Rex.
Later that day Rex showed his friends the frieze on the wall of a dragon taking a shit on a knight out of its ass. They needed to figure out the mystery of a dragon. Rex's theory is Shitso is using the dragon myth to control the village and eventually become King himself. Benny went around the village asking people about the dragon. But many have refused to tell. A bum came up to Benny.
"The dragon fire fucks us," said the bum. "The dragon fire shits us. Follow to where the shit leads."
"O' fucking 'kay," said Benny.
Later that night Benny told Rex, Andy, and Corey about what the bum told him. Benny looked at the frieze and saw a hill.
"I know that place," said Benny. "You can see that hill from the house on the mountain."
Night fucked upon the mountains. Rex sat on the throne wearing a crown of penises. Andy and Benny needed to escape to find the mountain and look for answers but they were guarded inside a house. Corey came out shirtless and showed a gay guard his penis and kissed him. The guard started taking off his fur coat. The guard was distracted which allowed Andy and Benny to sneak out, run through village covered with shit, find a hole in the walls surrounding it, and run into the forest. Guards saw two figures run into the night forest.
"Who fucks there!" yelled the guards from the towers.
Shitso came over to a Gaydall the horse at night and pissed up its ass out of his dick. He needed to kill it so it won't choose anymore Kings. Rex came up behind him.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing," said Rex.
"Your friends were seen escaping from this village," said Shitso. "Now a new sacrifice must be chosen."
Shitso came over to where fire burned in a pot and threw shit in it. In the smoke image of Corey appeared.
Benny and Andy made it to the hill on the mountain. Just then the sun showed up over the mountain, and the light hit dog shit on the hill, projecting a shit beam into a cave. Benny and Andy followed the light and came to a cave. They went inside and found a painting of a knight fighting a dragon and all the Kings dead bodies that burned to death.
"Holy shit, its true," said Benny. "I need to help Rex."
In the morning Rex got on top of the black horse. It was time to face the dragon. He rode out of the village. Where was he going to find the dragon that doesn't exist? Rex held a small sword in his teeth. Suddenly he heard footsteps. Out of the trees appeared a giant t-rex looking thing with horns all over its body. The dragon roared as he saw Rex and shot flames at him out of its mouth. Rex rode out of the way and bushes caught on fire. Rex screamed like fuck and rode off on Gaydall. The dragon set off after him.
Benny and Andy were coming back to the village. Rex was riding on a horse through the field with dragon running after him. It shot flames out of its mouth and Rex's penis and testicles were caught in flames. Rex turned the horse around and rode between the dragon's legs and put cuts on its penis with a sword. The dragon turned around, roared, and shot fire out of its mouth at the horse. The horse caught on fire and burned. Rex pissed on the horse and put it out.
The dragon charged Rex and knocked him off the horse. Rex ran into the forest and met Andy and Benny. The dragon was walking through the trees.
"We do this the old fashioned way," said Benny.
Rex dropped his sword and he and Benny attacked the dragon. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on the dragon's asshole. Benny pissed inside the dragon. The dragon roared and pissed flaming piss all over Rex. Rex screamed in pain. Benny jumped on the dragon. The dragon roared and shot flames at itself. Benny jumped off. The dragon burst into flames and burned alive. The dragon roared and ran through the forest like a torch and fell down. In the fire Rex and Benny saw Shitso's face.
"Shitso was the dragon," said Rex. "But now he is killed and he won't control the village."
Andy and Corey went home. Rex and Benny stayed back in the village. It still needed a King. Rex proclaimed a dirty old bum as being a King of the village.
Gaydall the horse ran out of the forest onto Highway 138. A semi driven by Shitso was coming. It hit the horse and it split in half, rolled over the truck and shit all over it. Two halves of the horse were left lying on the road. Rex and Benny have slayed the dragon and everyone fucked happily ever after.
THE END