Alexei the gay Russian kid with glasses sat at a donated table with his parents on donated chairs. Alexei's bitchy mom brought out a turkey. She cut up the turkey and gave huge chunks to everyone. Alexei's mom made a salad out of cut up tomatoes and cucumbers, poured cooking oil all over it and flattered herself about it.
Rex and Benny saw fucking coyotes running across the road, up to the house. They ran up, tore up trash bags, and then ran under a glass roof for parking a car under, and jumped through the window into the house. Rex pissed on his chain and it broke and Benny pissed on his leash and it ripped. Alexei is a stupid Russian whose teeth can feel hot and cold. Two coyotes ran up under the table. A coyote bit Alexei in the testicles. Alexei's stupid mom screamed like a bitch because she thought the coyotes will tear her apart. Alexei the shitty Russian pushed over the table. Turkey fell on the floor. Rex and Benny jumped into the house through broken window.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA.
REX AND BENNY 25: TOURISTFAG SEASON
Rex and Benny saw turkey on the floor.
"Hey, Rex," meowed Benny. "Free meat! Free meat! Get your ass over here motherfucker."
Benny ran over to the turkey and started licking it. Coyotes also licked the turkey. Rex started eating the turkey. Alexei's dad decided to kill Alexei for pushing over the table, so he picked him up and threw him across the room.
"They weell eet us! They weell eet us!" screamed Alexei?s hysterical mom. She thought the coyotes will eat her.
"I'm sick of your constant bitching,' yelled Alexei's dad and slapped her bitch-ass.
Alexei's bitchy mom screamed. Rex was done eating the turkey and ran over to a bowl with Benny?s cat food and started eating his cat food. Benny jumped on Rex and tore into his fucking snout.
"I'll tear your eyeballs out, you bitch," screeched Benny. "This is my fucking cat food."
Alexei the shitty Russian ran upstairs into his room. He dumped everything out of his backpack and started ripping up homework. Fuck the homework. Coyote ran into Alexei?s room, jumped on his bed and pissed on it. Alexei broke the fucking window and tore the screen. He threw the chair out of his room and it landed on the neighbor's truck. Boom!
"Oh, the neighbor's fucking car! They'll sue us!" yelled Alexei's dad.
Alexei?s dad beat fucking Alexei. Alexei took off his gay glasses which are pieces of shit and started twisting them around in the middle.
"Kill the Russian! Kill the Russian!," yelled the coyote. "Foreign scum like Alexei should not be allowed in the U. S."
"Alexei disgraced the United States!," yelled the second coyote.
Rex swung his head and Benny went flying inside a fucking refrigerator. Alexei?s mom bitched. She thought that Benny is dirty and he would spread germs into the food and the whole family would get AIDS. Rex grabbed Alexei?s mom?s ugly skirt in his teeth and started pulling it.
"My beauteeful skee-ort! Steop it! Steop it!" bitched Alexei?s mom. She is saying "My beautiful skirt! Stop it! Stop it!" in her horrible Russian accent. She pronounces word ?year? like word ?your?. Alexei chased after Rex because he wanted to catch him. Alexei?s dad jumped in front of Alexei ?cause he wanted to kill that faggoty-ass Russian. Benny the cat jumped on Alexei?s head and pushed Alexei?s head down Alexei?s dad?s pants. Alexei licked Alexei?s dad?s testicles.
"Ugh, that?s fucking sick, dude," said Rex. Rex shit on Alexei?s mom?s ugly skirt.
"My booteefool skirt," bitched Alexei?s mom. She started bitching at Alexei?s dad about how he, Alexei, Rex, Benny, and the whole world is against her.
"Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You stupid fucking bitch!" yelled Alexei?s dad at Alexei?s mom. Alexei called his mom a ?bitch?.
"You stoopid keeat," yelled Alexei?s mom at Benny in her Russian accent. She picked up Benny and threw him at Alexei?s face. Alexei the faggot went flying out the fucking window and died. Rex wiped his shitty paws on Alexei?s dad. Alexei?s dad slapped fucking Rex.
"Oh, no!" yelled Rex. "Alexei beat me and now Alexei's dad beats me too. The whole world is against me."
Benny the cat jumped on Alexei?s mom and tore into her. She screamed like a fucking bitch. Alexei?s dad tried to pry Benny away but it didn?t work so he grabbed a knife and was gonna stab Benny with it. Suddenly two cops ran into the house. The neighbors called the police. Benny jumped off of Alexei?s mom and the cops saw Alexei?s dad standing above Alexei?s mom with a knife and she was screaming like a bitch. Alexei?s dad and mom were taken to jail. Alexei?s mom was deported back to the shitty Russia and Alexei?s dad lost his woodworking business, became a hobo, and died.
Rex and Benny ran to explore VOE. They walked through people's backyards, saw VOE elementary school. Then Rex and Benny came to a rickety-shit house and saw Shitso in a backyard. He was working on a fart windmill. Rex and Benny came up to him.
"Edison fags came, took down the power line I used to steal electricity with," said Shitso. "So I created a cheap source of energy. Befuck the windmill."
Suddenly clouds and fog began to blow in over the mountains. The sky turned gray and the wind began to blow, rotating the windmill. Fog poured in over the valley and the sky turned dark.
"Never seen a storm like this," said Rex.
Suddenly a ball of shit was flying over the houses toward the windmill.
"The fartwind mill created a vortex! Everybody take cover!" yelled Shitso.
Rex, Benny, and Shitso ducked on the ground and a ball of shit hit the windmill, spraying them with shit. And just like that the storm was over and the sky cleared up. The windmill, covered in shit, spun in the wind, spraying Rex and Benny with shit.
Suddenly Rex and Benny saw a thing that looks like a helicopter, only instead of blades, it has a rotating disk on top that has electrical sparks bouncing from it. Shitso got out his pistol and started shooting it. Rex and Benny pissed and shit on Shitso. The fartcopter landed in Shitso's backyard. The disk on top stopped rotating, electrical impulses from it stopped. Shit Mage and his Fagicians were walking through the woods and they saw the flying machine.
"I sense great disturbance in shit-time confuckuum," said Shit Mage. "I want the flying machine."
The fartcopter doors opened and a man, a woman, and a 15 year old boy with a video camera got out. Nigger pilot in a robe came out of the fartcopter.
"This is fucking terrible," said Rex. "What the hell is this shit. A bunch of fucking homos."
"Please!" yelled the man. "Be quiet. They will take you away for saying those words. Don't you realize they've been banned for 43 years. No one uses them."
"Where the fuck are you from," asked Benny.
"Los Angeles, of course," said the man. "The city was expanded 40 years ago to create the most glorious colony people have ever seen."
"You're on San Bernardino mountains," said Rex.
"But this place is populated. 35 years ago it was turned into a wildlife preserve. We're only allowed to fly over it," said the woman. "We're tourists, who came to visit this place."
Rex and Benny walked the tourists through VOE.
"Where could this terrible place be and how did we get here?" said the man. "Where is the EMP vehicles. The place is terribly dirty and disease ridden."
"This is Valley of Enchantment, San Bernardino mountains, November 26, 2003," said the Rex.
"That's impossible. It's Thanksgiving, November 27, 2083," said the woman.
Suddenly coyotes ran out of somebody's backyard. The tourists screamed and ran like pussies. Wild animals are going to eat them. The boy started videotaping them. Rex and Benny jumped on the coyotes and started pissing on them. The tourists watched it and threw up. That is the sickest thing they've ever seen. Coyotes filled up with piss and exploded into a pile of shit. The kid fell on the ground and kept videotaping this in shock.
"Hey faggot, tape this!" yelled Benny.
Benny started humping Rex and stuck his dick in Rex's asshole. The kid dropped his camera and it shattered.
"Sex is illegal. Littering is illegal. Pick up the camera. It must be properly disposed of," yelled the father.
"Shut up, you fucking retard. You can be gay all you fucking want in the future but this is the past. No one gives a shit if you cuss, or litter, or have sex!" yelled Rex. Benny jumped on them and pissed all over their purple robes. "Tell us about your fucking future and how you came to be here," yelled Benny.
Rex, Benny, and the tourists sat down on the bench at VOE elementary campus. Nigger pilot joined them. The father of the family started telling Rex and Benny about a war that happened several decades ago from their time. Shitso came and joined them. The war was the most terrible one, and said was begun by one man, who held terrorists as his pawns to do his bidding. The last survivors had nothing, after two heroes have been destroyed, so came a man. No one knows what the man looked like but he called himself Master Ztraf. He promised utopia for people and they all agreed because no one wanted to relive the day when all that could go wrong went wrong. He established colonies throughout the world and all the laws that were in the past were observed. But no laws can stop crime, violence, corruption. Moral values must also be controlled. Nerves in people's genitals are removed, and sperm is put into a woman to make children. Biological waste like dog shit is illegal to keep around. Cussing is illegal. All vehicles are propelled by bending electromagnetic charge in the air around them just like that fartcopter. A clean source of fuel. Littering is illegal. Media is illegal. Breaking the ten commandments is illegal. Making fun of others is illegal. Destroying objects is illegal because it's a waste of resources. Breaking those rules is punishable by death. No other punishment but death exists.
"You must've broke the space-time continuum," said Shitso. "The windmill creates a vortex of shit, opening a window in time."
Storm clouds began to gather in the sky again. Wind blew. Rex, Benny, Shitso, and the goddamn tourists ran back to Shitso's house.
"If we replicate the same conditions as before, we can send your electromagnetic vehicle back to the future," said Rex. "Don't worry. We'll fix this future. You will never have existed."
They ran into Shitso's backyard when suddenly Shit Mage and Fagicians came out from behind the house. They looked at the machine with a huge disk on top of it.
"This vehicle manipulates electromagnetic charge of atoms around it to fly," said Shit Mage. "I want to worship the flying thing."
Rex and Benny jumped toward him. Shit Mage raised his magic scepter and fired a shit beam at Rex and Benny. Rex was caught in shit. Rex went flying into a mother and his dick went in her mouth and he pissed in her mouth. Benny jumped toward Fagicians, who kicked him and he went flying with his asshole in a kid's mouth and farted into his mouth.
The wind spun the windmill. Lightning shot through the sky. If they don't generate another shit vortex, the tourists may never find their way home.
Rex and Benny raped Shit Mage up the ass. Rex's penis penetrated the crusty shit on Shit Mage's asshole. Fagicians who are naked men beat the tourists and tore off their robes, leaving them naked, and then masturbated their genitals. Benny pissed up Shit Mage. His nipples fell off. Shitso got out a gun and shot all Fagicians. They died. Then he shot Shit Mage in the head 20 times. Shit Mage fell on the ground but he cannot die for he is immortal.
Tourists and nigger pilot got in the fartcopter, the disk on top rotated, stripping atoms of electromagnetism, and projecting it so the EM field would pull the vehicle. The fartcopter flew into the sky, circled around. The windmill created a vortex. A ball of shit flew out of the stormy sky, opening a portal 80 years into the future. The fartcopter collided with it and was gone. The shit ball hit the windmill and sprayed Rex and Benny with shit.
Fartcopter was flying in the year 2083, over the forest, and headed towards the colony.
In the present the storm cleared, Shit Mage healed and woke up. Rex and Benny have already gone home. At any cost they must defeat a man named Ztraf, otherwise everything they stand for, will be gone forever. Rex and Benny's destiny is just beginning to be realized.
THE END