Shit After Shit
Rex the German shepherd dog and Benny the gray cat were on the roof of the woodshop. Alexei, the gay Russian kid with gay glasses, has sperm cells crawling on his body. Alexei's jacket has dog poo on the sleeves. Alexei's soul is made of fart.
Rex and Benny started walking towards the back of the roof where they could jump on soft pine needles when Rex slipped. Rex went sliding down the roof on his nipples. Rex fell towards the pavement. Suddenly shit crackled. Rex was caught in shit. There was a thunder sound. Shit disappeared. Something broke Rex's fall. He saw that he landed on top of a gray cat.
"I did not miss," said Rex as he got up. Benny jumped into pine needles on the other side of the roof and ran over to Rex. The gray cat was unconscious. Rex picked up the female cat. He brought the female cat into the woodshop. Andy and Kevin must take care of the cat.
Rex and Benny decided to go sexploring the forest. They walked among pine trees.
"When I was falling, I saw this shit bubble appear and lightning made of shit shot out and suddenly I landed on that cat," said Rex. "What could that be?"
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, A BAND OF FAGGOTS SET TO PROVE THE IMPOSSIBLE, THE SEXISTENCE OF A SHITTY WORLD. A GERMAN SHEPHERD, A GRAY CAT, A STEPBROTHER, A GIRLFRIEND, A NIGGER, AND A FAG, ALL FUCKING THE STORY OF A LIFETIME. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT, BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. TOGETHER THEY FUCK TO SURVIVE IN THIS AMAZING WORLD OF LOST CIVILIZATIONS AND TERRIFYING CREATUERS. ALWAYS FUCKING FOR A WAY HOME, A WAY OUT OF...
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN RIMFOREST, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN LAKE ARROWHEAD AREA.
REX AND BENNY 16: SHIT AFTER SHIT
"With everything we have seen it could be any number of the things," said Benny. "Supernatural being, a cat from another dimension, or time travel."
Suddenly there was a howl and a coyote jumped out of the bushes. Coyote ran toward Rex and hit him. Rex went flying. Benny crawled into a hollow log. The coyote farted into the hollow log and Benny was caught in fart stink. The coyote stuck his penis in Rex's ass and pissed inside Rex. Benny grabbed a stick and stabbed the coyote in the chest with it, killing it.
Alexei's bitchy mom was walking through the forest, yelling Alexei's name. Naked men with dark capes watched Alexei's mom. They are Shit Mage's Fagicians. They jumped on the bitch and stripped her naked, revealing an ugly skinny body with a fat stomach. A Fagician took out a dagger and stabbed a hole that connected Alexei's mom's asshole with her vagina. A rope was pulled through the hole and tied. Alexei's mom was hung from a tree in that manner.
Rex and Benny found a body of a dead man in the woods. He was bald and ugly and gray, with a knife in his back. Rex and Benny took his knapsack and rummaged through it. They found a few baubles. The man was most likely a graverobfag. Benny took out a clay plate which had a picture of Rimforest and a lost city and a path drawn on it between the two. Most likely a map. On the bottom it said "SEEK THE SHIT BEYOND THROUGH A WINDOW OF PENISES". Rex stopped buttfucking a dead man and came over.
"My Satan!" said Benny. "We found a way off the mountains. A way to San Bernardino."
Rex and Benny walked off into the forest, following the path written on the map.
Back in Rimforest, Andy and Kevin took the gray cat to Dawn's house. She is a woman who owns many cats. Andy walked up the steps and knocked on the door. Suddenly the female cat in Andy's arms woke up. She looked at Kevin's watch.
"Shit!" she said. "I'm too late. They found the dead body. At least I'm in the right place. Andrew and Kevin are here."
The gray cat jumped and tore off Kevin's pants revealing his penis with freckles on it. Kevin fell and his penis went up Andy's asshole. The female cat ran off into the woods.
Rex and Benny walked through the forest, following the map, when ninjas jumped out of the bushes. A knife flew and got stuck in a tree next to Benny the cat's head. Several ninjas jumped out, swinging their swords. A sword hit Rex in the ballsac. Rex jumped on the ninja and hit him with his snout. Rex and Benny held the ninja by the arms and spun him around. Karate moves were used on Rex's penis. Judo chop was used on Benny's ballsac. Rex wrestled with a ninja. Benny jumped around with a confident look as a sword struck in places next to him.
Rex ran toward a steep hill and went sliding 100 feet down. His penis was beat against roots. Rex's nipples were scratched. Rex slid across rocks and bruised his sexy body. Rex screamed as he slid down and hit the dirt below. A ninja kicked a clay map out of Benny's teeth and it shattered. Benny climbed up a tree. He jumped from branch to branch. Rex and Benny will take different paths but they knew where they were going.
The female gray cat pulled a small diary out of her vagina and was reading it by the stream. On the cover of the diary it said "BENNY". It told all the terrible events that took place in the future written by Benny the cat himself. An eye is watching the gray cat. An eye of a mountain lion's head. The mountain lion roared. The female cat started running through the bushes. Two mountain lions set off after her.
Rex the dog was walking through the clearing. Suddenly he heard screeching. Rex turned around and saw the gray cat running from two mountain lions on the other side. The cat caught up to Rex. The mountain lions were gaining on her.
Rex looked up and saw a piss gas balloon up in the air with Shitso in it. Shitso was in the basket and he threw down a rope ladder. Rex grabbed on with his teeth. The gray cat jumped on the ladder. She was above Rex. The mountain lion jumped up and hung on Rex's penis. Rex shook him off. The mountain lion fell. The female cat climbed into the balloon. Shitso pulled Rex in.
The balloon was flying in the sky.
"Fucky for you I was here," said Shitso.
"Who the hell are you," asked Rex. "Explain those shit beams before I fell on you."
"My name is Bitcherine Gayley," said the female cat. "I've been sent from one hundred years in the future to kill Benny."
Benny the gray cat came to the ruins of a lost city where the map led. There was a coyote statue in the city and gray stone buildings covered in vines. Benny walked up the steps into some sort of temple. Benny saw a testicle there. What is a testicle if not a key to a window of penises. Benny shit on the testicle and it shattered revealing a compass. But it wasn't a regular compass, but the one that pointed to the door off San Bernardino mountains.
Suddenly shit beams crackled behind Benny, shit bubble materialized and rotweiler dog appeared. It was a male. He walked up to Benny.
"I'm the ambassadfag from your future," said the rotweiler. "The name is James Kempfag. Someone wants you dead, Benny."
"Who would want me dead," said Benny. "And why?"
"As you enter the cave passage that leads off these mountains, you strike a shitload of unknown semen," said the dog. "It concentrates shit, converting it into pure energy. You become sextremely rich. That makes a lot of people unhappy. New losefags and new winfags. So an assassfag is hired to kill you. The gray cat who was sent back in time to destroy you. I'm your protectfag."
Now not only will Rex and Benny find a way off San Bernardino mountains, but they will be rich. Benny followed the compass. Benny the cat and James Kempfag the rotweiler were walking through the lost city when ninjas ran out. Ninjas screamed and hit Benny in the ballsac with a sword. Benny went flying through the air. Ninjas grabbed Benny and beat him against stone. The dog grabbed a ninja and Benny held him too. The ninja was thrown into other ninjas. A ninja came up and beat Benny with sticks on a chain. Benny pissed down the ninja's mask. James Kempfag hung on the ninjas' nutsacs. Benny's penis penetrated crusty shit on the ninja's asshole. The ninjas ran off.
Shitso landed the piss gas balloon by the lost city. Shitso, Bitcherine Gayley, and Rex got out. The cat handed Rex the journal with BENNY written on the cover.
"Read," she said. "Rex the German shepherd dog dies September, 2003."
Rex opened the journal and started reading. It was written by Benny the cat.
When we escaped the Shit World, I thought I was a hero. But I brought along a plague which killed millions. The plague makes people start shitting unstoppably, where every body cell is converted to shit. I couldn't have known. Finally today was one more death, of a dog I loved. Coyotes and Shit Mage could not kill Rex, it is amazing how something so small could.
"I don't believe this shit," said Rex. "Me and Benny will escape. There will be no more time travel, or Shit Mage, or lost civilizations."
"Benny has a genetic immunity against the virus," she said.
Benny followed the compass while James Kempfag went off in search of the door in the other direction.
"So what the hell happens to me," said Shitso.
"You shit yourself to death," said the cat.
They walked towards the city when ninjas ran out. Ninjas attacked Rex and Shitso. Shitso got out a gun and started shooting ninjas. A ninja hit Shitso with a sword and took his gun and hit him in the ballsac with it. Rex grabbed a sword and stabbed the ninja in the ass. Shit sprayed all over Rex. Rex was covered in shit. Ninjas beat Rex with swords and he fell.
"They are the guardfags of the passage," said the cat. "Sworn to fuck our doorway closed. I can't let you interfere. Benny must die."
While ninjas trapped Rex and Shitso, the cat ran off to find Benny. Rex and Shitso waited for a while with swords up to their genitals.
"Enough of this shit," said Rex.
Rex pushed Shitso into ninjas. Shitso fell and was stabbed. Blood shot out of Shitso's penis all over Rex. Rex jumped up and jumped on ninjas' bodies. Rex was socked in his sexy body. Rex's sexy body was kicked. Rex was beat against the stones. Rex ran off to find Benny and stop the (ass)(ass)in before it was too late.
The compass led Benny to a door. He opened the door and walked down the steps into a hall. In the middle stood a stone thing where the compass is inserted into. It acts as a key to open the door to the passage. Benny put the compass in and the stone door lifted, revealing a passage with light at the other end. Suddenly the female cat walked up behind Benny with a dagger in her mouth. She put the dagger up to Benny's back.
Rex was walking through the lost city when a rotweiler jumped in front of him.
"Rex, I presume," said James Kempfag. "Well, you will not interfere."
Shit was shot out of the dog's ass in Rex's face and Rex was hit on the head with a rock and passed out.
"Do not fuck through that passage, Benny," said Bitcherine Gayley. "You will breathe in a virus that will make the whole world shit themselves."
"You lie," said Benny. "James Kempfag told me everything. You don't want me finding the semen."
"He is a liar," said the female cat. "After you make everyone shit to death, he finds a cure to make millions."
"This is a crackhead tale," said Benny. "How do I survive the plague and othfags don't? Dogs don't travel through time, invent cures, and make millions."
"You have a genetic immunity," she said. "I'm your great granddaugher and you left me this journal as a fagacy along with your immunity."
Benny read the same passage in the journal. Suddenly the rotweiler came up behind and stabbed the female cat with the dagger in his mouth.
"I'm not sorry to say this," said James Kempfag. "But there is no semen, only the Shit Virus. I found a cure for it, but if I don't have the plague, how can I make the money. You must go through the passage."
"Fuck you!" said Benny. "Fuck you! Fuck her! I'm going through."
Benny walked towards the passage. Then he looked at the journal and at the dog.
"That's it," said James Kempfag. "Your stupid ass goes through."
The rotweiler ran toward Benny and grabbed him by the penis and started dragging him through. Rex came up from behind and jumped on James Kempfag. Rex pissed the dog up the ass. The dog filled up with piss and exploded into shit. Rex took out the key from the stone thing and the passage closed. Rex shot shit at the key, shattering it.
"I've heard everything," said Rex. "Perhaps another time, we can get away from the faggot Russian who takes joy in torturing us."
"Fuck you," said Benny to Bitcherine.
"No. Fucks to you Benny, I will never have sexisted," said the dying gray cat.
James Kempfag, Bitcherine Gayley, and Benny's journal were caught in shit dust and disappeared. Rex and Benny walked out of the building and fucked home.
THE END