"To sciencefags this forest would be the gay8th wonder of the gay world," barked Rex.
Back in Rimforest at Alexei's stepdad's woodworking shop, Andy who works for him drove his mom's black truck up to the woodshop. Nigger Corey, girlfriend Nikki, and a freckly fat kid with glasses named Kevin were with him. They drove to Rimforest from the town of Crestline which is also on the mountains. Alexei's stepdad is a small business ownfag.
"Why to have a black boy, a Nikki, and a Kevin here," bitched Alexei's bitchy Russian mom. "We have no money to pay for so many workers."
Rex and Benny heard a woman screaming in the forest. They saw a woman running. Two sasquatches ran after her. Sasquatches tackled her on the ground and tore off her dress. Sasqutches stuck their dicks in her vagina. Hairy beasts grabbed her tits. The girl had a moustache, sideburns, chest hair, and armpit hair. Rex and Benny came running to her rescue. Rex farted shit out of his ass in a sasquatch's mouth. They ran off into the woods.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, A BAND OF FAGGOTS SET OUT TO PROVE THE IMPOSSIBLE, THE SEXISTENCE OF A SHITTY WORLD. GERMAN SHEPHERD, GRAY CAT, STEPBROTHER, GIRLFRIEND, NIGGER, AND FAG, ALL FUCKING THE STORY OF A LIFETIME! THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT, BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. TOGETHER THEY FUCK TO SURVIVE IN THIS AMAZING WORLD OF LOST CIVILIZATIONS AND TERRIFYING CREATURES. ALWAYS FUCKING FOR A WAY HOME, A WAY OUT OF�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN RIMFOREST, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN LAKE ARROWHEAD AREA.
REX AND BENNY 15: UNNATURAL SELECT-SHIT
The girl got up and started petting the dog and cat.
"You're uncles Rex and Benny," she said. "I've heard all about you."
"Too bad miss, I never heard of you," barked Rex.
"My name is Reshita and Shitso is my father," she said. "We live in this forest."
Down at the woodshop Alexei's bitchy mom said, "To find a dog and cat. They ran somewhere," which send Andy, Kevin, Corey, and Nikki on a quest into the woods. Nikki wandered away from the group.
"Rex! Rex! Benny!" yelled Nikki.
Reshita led Rex and Benny by their leashes up to Shitso's wooden shack. Next to it was a huge compound surrounded by a cement wall.
"My father likes to dabble in genetics," she said. "That's his laboratory."
She called for her "father" and Shitso the fat fuck man walked out of the house.
"There is so much we need to bark about," said Rex to Shitso.
Suddenly Nikki came running out of the woods and saw Benny with Reshita and Rex going into the house with Shitso. Nikki ran up to Reshita.
"Oh, thank you, young man, you found the cat I'm looking for. He belongs to those people living on the edge of this forest," said Nikki.
"Hey bitch," said Reshita. "I'm not a fucking man. Here's my tits."
Reshita pulled down her dress and revealed her tits covered with chest hear. Suddenly screeching and screams came from behind the cement fence of the compound. Benny ran over to investigate and Nikki went after the cat. Reshita set off after them and grabbed Nikki's arm. Benny stopped and looked at them with his cat eyes.
"Please," said Reshita. "Father would be furious. He will whip my tits if you go near his lab."
Alexei the Russian kid of homosexualities who eats almost everything that comes off him was walking through the forest and saw 1000-foot tall pine tree. Alexei came to the tree and touched it. Vibrating shit lines run through the tree. The tree itself can give strength to those who touch it. Alexei touched it. Suddenly he grew sexy muscles. Muscles on Alexei's penis and testicles grew. Alexei exploded into shit.
"That he/she bitch is not your daughter Shitso," barked Rex at the cabin.
"You must promise me to never bark her that," said Shitso as he took a chunk of crusty shit off his ass and ate it. "It will break her nutsac."
Night fucked upon the mountains. Andy, Corey, and Kevin were walking through the dark forest now trying to find Nikki along with Rex and Benny. They walked under an overhanging branch of a tree. On a tree sat an old woman in her fifties and she was naked. She picked dust out of her vagina and threw it from the tree into the air around Andy, Corey, and Kevin. Suddenly they began to fart out of their asses.
"What the fuck!" yelled Corey. "I can't stop it."
Stinky fart escaped out of Corey's ass. Kevin farted ass juice in his boxers. Andy inhaled his own fart. They were caught in a cloud of fart coming from their asses. The woman in a tree threw more invisible magic dust over them. They stopped farting. A spark floated through the air, went in Kevin's pants, hit his penis and disappeared.
"All better now," said Kevin, passed out, and fell over. Andy and Corey passed out and fell over.
"Oh, ha, ha, ha, haaa," laughed the naked woman in a tree.
At night Rex and Benny slept on the doormat of Shitso's cabin. Nikki walked up to the cement wall of Shitso's compound. There were animal screeches inside. She climbed up a tree and jumped over into it. It was filled with cages where hairy beasts sat. Sasquatches grunted and screeched at Nikki. Their hands with claws reached for her tits. Sasquatches showed Nikki their penises. Nikki stared in horror when someone hit her on the head and knocked her out.
In the morning Rex and Benny woke up. Reshita brought them some dog and cat food with Shitso's urine for water.
"I'm sorry, my father's orders is to give you this drink," said Reshita.
Rex and Benny drank urine like dogs and cats do, by sticking their tongues in the water.
"By the way, where is your friend Nikki?" she asked. "She disappeared last night."
Rex and Benny ran around the cabin and found sasquatch tracks.
"Oh fuck," barked Rex. "Sasquatches. They must've taken her."
Shitso came out of the house.
"I will go with you," said Reshita.
Shitso grabbed the bearded Reshita woman and smacked her with a stick in her tits with chest hair. She cried out in sexy pain.
"I forbid it, you dumb wench! It is too dangerous! You're not to leave the compound!" yelled Shitso. "Get back in the fucking house!"
Shitso ran after Reshita with a stick. Inside he beat her tits with a small wooden panel with holes drilled into it, while Rex and Benny followed sasquatch tracks into the forest.
"Something fucks funny here," meowed Benny. "Who the hell is this Reshita who has male hair all over her body?"
"Whoever she is, she is not Shitso's daughter," barked Rex.
Alexei was walking through the woods. Benny's cat tongue is like sandpaper so it should lick Alexei's penis. Suddenly a blast of gamma radiation from outer space hit Alexei. Alexei became mutated. Alexei's nostrils, mouth, ear canals, and asshole changed into vaginas. Instead of fingers and toes Alexei had penises. Instead of gay hair Alexei had gay pubic hair growing on his head. Alexei's eyeballs changed into testicles. Alexei's lungs and stomach became uteruses. Alexei stuck his penises in his vaginas. Alexei made babies with himself. Fetuses had sex together inside Alexei and had fetuses inside them. Alexei died.
Andy, Corey, and Kevin woke up in the forest, tied up. The naked woman that was in the tree now was sitting by a puddle of dirty water and drinking out of it.
"Who are you?" asked Andy. "And how about untying us?"
"I'm the bitch of the nymphs and fairies," said the woman. "And if I untie you, you'll run away. You see, I married a fairy faggot, and was cursed by a witch to be in this mortal realm. I need shit off a virgin's ass for me to become hot and sexy again."
As Rex and Benny have gone to find Nikki, Shitso opened the door to his compound where he keeps sasquatches. Sasquatches started walking out in a single file line. Shitso handed guns to them as they walked out. And when sasquatches went into the forest to hunt and kill Rex and Benny, Shitso went in the compound. Nikki was sitting in a cage. Another sasquatch with a shaved body and cuts all over it sat across from Nikki in another cage. He showed her his ballsac and penis. Shitso walked up to Nikki's cage, picked crusty shit off his ass and threw it in.
"Food," said Shitso. "Be happy. You're about to become a mother."
"Who is going to be the father? You, you rapist motherfuckfag?" Just as Nikki asked that, Shitso pointed at a shaved sasquatch.
"This is how Reshita was born," said Shitso. "I had sex with a female sasquatch. That would sexplain why she is so hairy."
Rex the dog and Benny the cat wandered through the forest, sniffing sasquatch tracks.
"Damn it. I should've realized this sooner. I can't find Nikki's scent," barked Rex.
"Meaning she might still be with Shitso," meowed Benny.
Suddenly a gunshot was fired. Rex set off barking when he saw sasquatches with guns trying to flank them. Sasquatches fired shots out of their guns. Rex and Benny ran through the forest. Sasquatches set off after them. Benny ran up a tree trunk when a sasquatch aimed his gun and fired. Benny clawed his way onto the other side of the trunk and the bullet struck where he was. Benny got up on the branch and since he is a cat, he couldn't get down. Rex put his paws up on a tree and barked at Benny. Sasquatches were surrounding them. A bullet hit the branch Benny was sitting on, shattered it and Benny went falling down. They ran through the forest and came to a cliff with a small sewage lake from a burst sewer beneath the ground. A sasquatch with a machine gun aimed at Rex and Benny and fired. Bullets went striking the ground right toward them. Rex and Benny went diving off a cliff as bullets hit the spot where they stood. They splashed into piss and shit and disappeared beneath it.
Andy had sex with Nikki so he wasn't a virgin anymore. Kevin got buttfucked by a Shit Mage so he wasn't a virgin. It only left Corey. The fairy queen hung up Corey upside down in a tree naked. She touched his sexy black body. Then she filled a cup with her own urine, picked crusty shit off Corey's ass and mixed it with her own urine. She drank the potion.
"Ugh, I'm going to be sick," said Corey as blood was pooling in his head and as he watched the woman drink his shit.
"This spell will not work on mortal-fucks," said the fairy queen.
Rex and Benny came crawling out of the sewage pond covered in shit. They shook off the piss and ran back to Shitso's compound.
"Shitso is a fucking genius," said Rex. "He must've altered sasquatch DNA and made them smart. Taught them military tactics and how to use guns. Fuck!"
Shitso put Nikki in the same cage with a male sasquatch. Sasquatch grabbed screaming Nikki and raped her. His dick went up her vagina. Sasquatch touched her tits. It's dick squirted cum in Nikki's mouth. Reshita came and watched in horror. Suddenly Rex and Benny burst through the door in the cement walls and saw Nikki mating with a sasquatch.
"Reshita," meowed Benny. "Shitso lied to you. I and Rex realized a sasquatch was your mother."
Reshita looked at her armpit hair and started crying. She grabbed Shitso's gun and pointed it at him.
"Rex and Benny," said Shitso. "You won't live out the day."
Semen was flowing in a sasquatch's peehole toward Nikki's vagina as it was orgasming. If semen enters Nikki, she will have sasquatch children. Rex farted shit at the sasquatch and he flew backwards with his semen flying. Reshita shot off the lock and Nikki went falling out. Shitso screamed and kicked Benny the cat who screeched as he flew into Nikki's tits.
Shitso smacked Reshita, grabbed her gun and pointed it at Rex. Rex stared in horror as a gunshot went off, but it missed Rex, for the naked sasquatch jumped on Shitso. Sasquatch rubbed shit off his body all over the fat fuck. The beast tore into Shitso's genitals and chewed out his penis. Shitso lay there as blood pooled around him. Reshita shot the sasquatch. Rex, Benny, and Nikki stood over Shitso as Reshita cried.
"All in the name of gay science, eh!" said Shitso and died.
After the fairy queen drank Corey's shit, she walked away. Andy and Kevin cut Corey down. They headed for Rimforest.
"If only that potion really worked," said Kevin and suddenly saw a naked girl. She twirled around, danced in the falling flower petals.
"Of course it worked," she said and disappeared after showing Kevin her tits.
"Did you see this?" asked Kevin. "The little bitch."
But neither Corey nor Andy saw her. Kevin must've been smoking something.
Rex walked beside Nikki who carried Benny in her arms back to Rimforest. Reshita stood in the shack in front of a mirror naked and looked at her ugly hairy 'pits and tits, moustache and beard. She put a gun to her head and shot herself.
Alexei was walking in the woods, looking for Rex and Benny. Alexei's glasses are made of plastic. It means Alexei wears gay plastics. A bear jumped on Alexei. The bear bit in Alexei's bladder and sucked piss out of him.
THE END