| Rex and Benny 47: A Testicle For A Testicle |
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| Rex the German shepherd dog and Benny the gray cat were walking through a field of tall grass in the forest. They got separated and walked off in the opposite directions. Rex walked through a patch of trees and came out on a white sand shore of the Inshit Pee (2000ft in diameter salt water lake in the forest). This particular stretch of beach was covered with bones and skeletons of coyotes, bears, eagles, and mountain lions. "This is one fuck of a graveyard if I've ever seen one," said Rex the dog. Suddenly there was rustling in the patch of trees surrounding the forest predator graveyard. Rex turned and looked around with scared eyes. His ears came down flat on his head and he tucked the tail between his rear legs. Images of Alexei the gay Russian kid with stupid glasses beating him came into mind. Suddenly there was a roar and a moose came charging out of the trees toward Rex. It tried to ram Rex with its antlers. Rex dove out of the way as it ran by. "Oh, hell," said Rex. "I'm warning you! Piss me off and I'll rape you to death!" Rex started walking away when the moose ran back for another round. Rex dove out of the way and landed on a coyote bone with his sexy body. Rex was getting pissed off. The moose turned around on the other end of the graveyard, kicked up dirt with its hooves, and came at Rex again. Rex started walking away, when the moose ran by him and pissed on Rex out of the dick. AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE� Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA. REX AND BENNY 47: A TESTICLE FOR A TESTICLE "I gave you a chance to walk away and you wouldn't take it," said Rex. Rex jumped on the moose's ass and rammed his dick in it right through the crusty shit. He pissed inside the moose. The moose's bladder filled up with piss and burst open, with urine pouring out and covering Rex with ammonia stink. The moose dropped dead. "I would love to mount your head on my refrigerator box dog house," said Rex. "Too bad you taste so fucking awful." Rex started walking away when suddenly there was a farting sound, and shit swirl appeared in arching bones of coyotes with Shitic runes on them. Rex suddenly became paralyzed, stood still, and couldn't move, not even bark. Out of the shit swirl appeared a woman, with a human face, but the rest of the body and skin was covered in gray fur, and she had pointy ears. She walked over to Rex. "I'm Oshita," she said. "Guardfag of this sacred ground. You have violated the sanctity of the graveyard by needlessly killing one of these magnificent creatures." She pointed at the dead moose. "You think I'm here to kill you but I'm not. You will not die, nor by my hand." She put a bloody scratch across Rex's penis with her animal claw fingers. Rex winced in sexy pain but could not yelp. "You will be hunted, humiliated, and in the end you will beg for death! But even then it shall not come quickly." Oshita reached up Rex's ass, but not literally, but as through some magic where her beast hands entered it as through a portal, phasing through the flesh. Oshita pulled dark, evil shit from Rex's ass. The shit crawled across sand like a shadow. Rex could hear sexual whispers from it. "There, you're cursed," said the coyote lady. She walked back into a coyote rib cage, and in a swirl of shit was gone. Rex stared in horror. He sensed the evil in the dark shit ripped from his ass. Rex stumbled away out of the graveyard in horror, past tree growth, and into the field where he met up with Benny the cat. Rex told Benny the story of killing the moose and the coyote lady who supposedly cursed him. "She ripped shit from my ass," said Rex. "It was dark and evil. And now I somehow feel empty inside." "Mooses can be treacherous indeed. Let's go home," said Benny. "It will be dark soon." As Rex and Benny walked away toward VOE, the dark and evil shit crawled after them through grass. They came into the driveway, where Alexei the stupid mentally sick motherfucking Russian kid was. �This is the end. I've been cursed,� said Rex. �Fuck you, Alexei. I hope you rot in hell!" Alexei stuck his ass over Rex's snout and Rex breathed Alexei's asshole air. As Rex and Benny walked past the carport into the backyard, it was getting dark, but the dark and evil shit came crawling onto the driveway after them and started taking on shape. Benny the cat licked tasty blood off Rex's penis wound that Oshita gave him. "As many times as we've been to the Inshit Pee, we never found any forest predator graveyard," said Benny. "Especially some guardian." "She was hot. I want to have sex with her," said Rex. "She was part coyote, part human. The graveyard is another matter. Shifting shits of reality. Another phenomenon of the mountains. Other worlds simply appear out of nothing and disappear." Rex and Benny spent the night outside. But in the darkness, the dark and evil shit took on a shape of a dog. The shit shape of a dog was gnawing sticks into spikes, setting a trap. In the morning Benny the gray cat went wandering about after he escaped off his leash by pissing on it which ripped. Alexei's American stepdad was nailing moldings together in the garage. Andy (Alexei's stepbrother. A fat bald kid.) and his girlfriend Nikki (she is of Mexican descent) came by to pick up Andy's payment check. Andy is Alexei's stepdad's apprentice in woodworking. Benny walked around the trash cans by a tall tree. Benny jumped down on a string made of pubic hair. Benny was snared on a rope and screeched. He was lifted up, swung. Wooden spikes lifted up from under pine needles. Benny went falling toward them as he screeched. Rex heard Benny screech, pissed on his chain which broke, and ran out to the tree to find him snared in a pubic hair rope, dangling above wooden spikes. Rex got Benny down. "I'm pissed off," said Benny. "That fucking guardian coyote human bitch must've set this trap." "Not her," said Rex. "Most likely something she pulled from my ass. This trap was intended for me. My weight would've brought me straight down on those spikes." Andy and Nikki were walking back to the Bronco truck when Rex spotted a dark and evil shit penis poking from a tree. Rex barked in horror as piss with force like none other shot out of it and hit Andy in the shoulder. The piss beam slit Andy's sexy shoulder leaving scratches all over Andy's body. Rex and Benny ran up to him. The dark and evil shit in a shape of a dog sneaked away behind the fence and materialized itself into a copy of Rex, a black and yellow German shepherd, but more evil than Rex. The ultimate hunter, the Dark Rex. Andy, Nikki, Rex, and Benny went in the woodshop garage where Alexei's stepdad bandaged Andy's shoulder. "Whatever that thing is that hurt Andy, we must hunt it down," said Rex. Alexei needs to have friends who will put peer pressure on him, tell him what to do, and how to be normal in their eyes. Rex and Benny walked through town among houses. They found dog footprints in the dirt. "Whatever it is, it must be a dog now," said Rex. Rex and Benny ducked down in the bushes as they saw a dog walking behind a wooden fence. They could see it through the cracks. Rex needed to kill it, but when it appeared Rex stared in horror as he saw his own self, identical German shepherd. It was Rex but more evil. Rex grabbed a piece of sharp metal lying on the ground, ran toward the Dark Rex and tackled him on the ground. He held the piece of metal over him. "Kill him! Damn it!" screeched Benny. Rex tried to but something wouldn't allow him. Rex's dark half stared at him for a minute, got up, growled, and shot juicy shit in Rex's face and ran away, down the street in the direction of the house. "Shit, he is going for the others," barked Rex. "Exactly where I would go." The dog and cat ran toward the house, to save everyone. Andy and Nikki stood in the driveway as Dark Rex came running up. They thought it was just Rex. Andy came over to pet him when Dark Rex jumped on Andy and pushed him. Andy went flying with his sexy body against a pavement and groaned in sexy pain to masturbate over. Dark Rex pushed Nikki and she flew, smacking her tits into a wall. Dark Rex ran inside the house and shit up Alexei's stepdad's nose. Dark Rex ran into the bedroom and shit all over Alexei's mom's ugly clothes that she buys by the dozen a week. Alexei's mom's clothes belong in the trash. Dark Rex shit pissed upon her tits which exploded into shit. Rex and Benny come running along inside the house. Dark Rex is pissing and shitting upon everything in the house, smashing shit. Rex jumps on Dark Rex. Dark Rex extends his boner and Rex grabs it in his teeth. Horror strikes Rex for Dark Rex is the ultimate hunter and if he shot piss, it would kill Rex as a bullet from a gun. Rex tried to push the boner away but it was stuck in his mouth. All Dark Rex has to do is piss. Rex dove out of the way as piss shot out, jumped out a window, sending shattered glass flying, and went running. "It's me you want! Come and get me," yelled Rex as Dark Rex leaped out at him. The good and evil Rex ran off into the town. Benny had to go and find Rex. Benny the cat ran off after them. Rex was hunting his dark half in the backyards. Rex grabbed a pointy stick in his teeth and threw it at his dark half running through the bushes. Rex's dark half was gone but when Rex got on his trail he found blood. Dark Rex was not so invincible after all. Benny was running through the forest when Dark Rex came out at him. Dark Rex's sexy chest was scratched and bleeding. Dark Rex washed away the blood with his own urine. Benny ran and Dark Rex set off leaping after him. Benny jumped over trash cans, stumbled. Dark Rex grabbed Benny's tail in his teeth and started dragging him away when Rex came jumping out. "Not Benny, you puppy of a bitch!" yelled Rex. Dark Rex turned his asshole at Rex and started farting shit turds out of it. Rex came running toward him, as he got caught in a shitstorm of shit. Shit went in Rex's mouth. Rex squished shit in his own mouth. Shit got in Rex's eyes. Rex fell down. Dark Rex dragged Benny away down the street by the tail. The fucking cat screeched as he was taken hostage. Andy sat in the garage with Nikki when his cell phone rang. The caller ID said COREY. But Corey was dead! Based on all his knowledge of science and reason, Corey's presence here was impossible. Unless it was a phone call from beyond the grave!!! Andy answered. It was a picture phone and Andy saw shots of the forest predator graveyard. A coyote rib cage with Shitic runes scratched on the bones. Corey's spirit must've taken these pictures and send them to Andy's cell phone to help save Rex and Benny. Andy and Nikki needed to find that graveyard. Rex sat on the ground and was rinsing away shit with his own urine when he realized Dark Rex must've taken Benny to the graveyard. Dark Rex and Benny were in the forest predator graveyard. Bones everywhere. Dark Rex crapped, shit, and defecated upon Benny the cat until he was buried in shit with just his head sticking out. Dark Rex walked around. He will not kill Rex. Not yet. Death would be too easy. He must make Rex suffer! He feeds upon Rex's agony. Dark Rex will hurt the ones Rex loves and Rex will beg for death after he loses the will to fight. "You fucking asshole," meowed Benny at Dark Rex. "You can't be all evil. Don't you feel love for me. The warmth of my fur. Touch my sexy body. You're nothing like Rex. You're the very antithesis of him." Rex came running up to the graveyard toward Dark Rex. He jumped on Dark Rex. Dark Rex kicked Rex with his rear paws. Rex went flying, his sexy body smashing through a bear skeleton. As Rex lay there, Dark Rex came over and stomped and beat Rex's sexy body with his paws. Benny screeched in terror, stuck in shit, unable to help. Andy and Nikki came running out of the forest. Rex jumped on his evil half and beat him against a coyote skull. The Dark Rex bit Rex's penis and scraped his sexy body against the bones of dead animals. Rex grabbed a sharp bone in his teeth, jumped on Dark Rex, pushing him in the sand. Rex tried to stab his evil half, kill it, but he couldn't. Rex could not kill part of himself. Rex threw away the bone. "I beat you. You're finished," said Rex. Dark Rex stood up and Rex knew he was fucked. But then Dark Rex howled as he was caught in a shit swirl, was gone, turned into a magic shit shadow and flew up Rex's ass. Rex no longer felt empty inside. Oshita, the graveyard guardian, half-coyote, half-woman appeared. Benny, Nikki, and Andy saw her. Benny dug himself out of shit. "Your new-fucked respect for life lifted the curse," said Oshita. "You showed you're capable of controlling the beast within. Now go home, wiser and at peace." Then Oshita was caught in a shit swirl and was gone. Rex, Benny, Andy, and Nikki left the Graveyard before the guardian would change her mind. Back at the house Andy told Rex about Corey's phone call. He showed him the pictures of the Graveyard. They will find Corey for part of him still lives. "I guess that evil half was the image of a ruthless hunter Rex would've been if not for his higher faculties of a domesticated animal," said Benny. "Dogs did originate from wolves." "Thank Satan for evolution," said Nikki. THE END |