"This piss stream will lead to a larger piss river which will lead to a route off these mountains," said Rex.
Benny the cat saw naked men walking through the forest, looking at them.
"Shit Mage's Fagcians," said Benny. "This place is full of them."
Andy, who was working down by the woodshop, send his girlfriend Nikki to find Rex and Benny in the forest. Nikki saw Rex and Benny and ran up to them. Nikki was wearing a sports bra. Suddenly Shit Mage's (who is a wizard of all shit) Fagicians ran out of the bushes. Fagicians screamed. Fagicians kicked Rex in the penis. Rex went flying up and his sexy body was hit against a tree. Fagicians dragged Nikki with her tits against the ground. Benny hung on Nikki's tits with his claws. Rex, Benny, and Nikki ran. When Andy came he saw them running away. Andy followed. Rex, Benny, and Nikki ran into an abandoned mine in the side of the mountain. They went inside. The mine was supported by wooden beams. They continued into the mine when suddenly the earth began to shake. They ran back when the entrance collapsed. Rocks fell in front of them. Andy saw the collapse. Rex, Benny, and Nikki were buried.
AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, A BAND OF FAGGOTS SET OUT TO PROVE THE IMPOSSIBLE, THE SEXISTENCE OF A SHITTY WORLD. GERMAN SHEPHERD, GRAY CAT, STEPBROTHER, GIRLFRIEND, NIGGER, AND FAG, ALL FUCKING THE STORY OF A LIFETIME! THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT, BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. TOGETHER THEY FUCK TO SURVIVE IN THIS AMAZING WORLD OF LOST CIVILIZATIONS AND TERRIFYING CREATURES. ALWAYS FUCKING FOR A WAY HOME, A WAY OUT OF�
Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD
IN CALIFORNIA, IN RIMFOREST, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN LAKE ARROWHEAD AREA.
REX AND BENNY 11: FAGGOTS OF THE DARK
Andy needed to get help. The mine Rex, Benny, and Nikki went into was dug into a live shit volcano which had fart stink coming out of the top. The volcano erupts shit instead of lava. Two eagles were flying over the volcano.
Rex, Benny, and Nikki sat in the darkness of the mine. It has collapsed from both sides so they couldn't go further inside or get out.
"This place looks 400 years old," said Benny.
"I say we got 6 hours of fart left to breathe," said Rex.
"And nobody saw us go in here," said Nikki. "We're trapped."
Andy was running through the forest, back to Rimforest, to reach the woodshop. Andy's friend Kevin, who is a freckly piece of shit, was working down by the woodshop. Andy told Kevin that Rex, Benny, and Nikki are trapped in a mine. Nikki is Mexican.
"To survive through all those ass-ventures," said Rex. "Just to die in this cave running out of fart. Let's say whatever we need to say to each other."
The walls of the mine were covered in brilliant shit and semen. Benny wanted to tell Rex how he loves him and how he wants to have sex with him and he might not get another chance. Suddenly there was another tremor from the volcano. Shit stink was coming out of the crater.
Andy and Kevin were walking through the forest.
"We'll go to Shitso's house," said Andy. "Pay him for some dynamite to get them out."
Darkness was falling as Andy and Kevin walked through the woods. Alexei, the gay Russian kid, was walking through the woods, looking for Rex and Benny. Shitso caught Alexei and cut off his penis. Then he put the penis between two buns and put ketchup on it and ate it like a hot dog.
Since Rex, Benny, and Nikki were running out of fart in the mine, they fell asleep. And they slept, slowly dying. Andy and Kevin won't make it in time to save them. And as they slept, a shit portal appeared in the wall of the mine and people with white hair and white skin came out. They sang in choir gay ass songs.
"We are fucking gay," they sang. "Fuck us up the ass. We're are fucking gay."
Benny opened his eyes and said "Satan?" and went back to sleep. Candles inside the caves the people were in, glowed like penises. The retarded people sang. Rex, Benny, and Nikki opened their eyes. They saw the Shit Mage there, singing with the people. Rex, Benny, and Nikki woke up.
"Who are you?" said Rex. "You saved our lives."
"Your lives are not yet yours to fuck," said a woman who was the people's leader. "You have come to destroy us all."
Andy and Kevin were walking through the woods when the night settled in. They made camp in the forest and slept. Benny the cat and Nikki were put in a jail cell. Rex would have to talk to the leader, a woman named Gayza to convince her people that they are not a threat.
"If anyone can convince them, its Rex," said Benny.
In the main chamber Rex talked to Gayza.
"You say your people lived here for hundreds of years, beneath the shit," said Rex.
"Yes," said Gayza. "We had to run for our lives when Fagicians came. Now we live beneath the shit where the sewage spring sustains us."
A stream of piss and shit was flowing in the cave with fish swimming in it.
"Fagicians?" said Rex. "But they are a month old race of fags."
"Hundreds of years ago they came," said Gayza. "They raped my people and raped the shit of its shit. But the shit punished them. Their genitals got covered in blisters, and their penises exploded, with creepy crawlers falling out of them. The shit punishes those who wish us harm."
"Let us go," said Rex.
"You will tell the Fagicians of our existence," said Gayza. "And bring destruction upon us all. You want the shit and semen lining these walls."
"How can we convince you, we're not a threat," said Rex.
"It is not me you have to convince, but the wisest of us, the Oracfag who calls himself Shit Mage," said Gayza.
"My Satan!" said Rex. Gayza took off her dress and revealed her wrinkly vagina with white pubic hair and wrinkly tits. She and Rex had hot sex together. A spider lives in her vagina. Rex stuck his dick up her white vagina. Rex licked the nipples of her boobs.
Benny and Nikki sat in a jail cell. A man came in and brought food. Two cups of piss and dried up period blood. Benny jumped on the man and stuck his dick in his mouth. Benny scratched the man's dick. The man choked on penis and passed out. Benny and Nikki ran out of the cell. They ran into the main hall and saw Rex having sex with Gayza. A man came at Rex and Benny, but Benny scratched his dick off.
"You fucking fools," said Rex.
Alexei was walking through the night forest. Dog piss is Alexei's favorite piss. Dog shit is Alexei's favorite shit. Alexei likes to sit on his lazy Russian ass. Alexei sleeps with stuffed teddy bears. Alexei was wearing a sleeveless shirt like a fag.
Beneath the volcano, Rex, Benny, and Nikki ran through tunnels under ground, trying to find their way out.
"The shit won't let you leave," yelled Gayza.
Rex, Benny, and Nikki ran through the caves. They ran through the caves and came to a fork. Benny advised everyone to take the right fork and they did. They ran and saw candles ahead and ran back out into the main chamber.
"Great time you chose to listen to me," said Benny.
The underground faggots surrounded them.
"The Oracfag shall judge you," said Gayza. "He will know if you plan to betray us."
Rex was brought before Shit Mage who sat on the chair in the chamber. Rex sat before him. Shit Mage put his dick on Rex's head.
"I will not betray your faggots," said Rex.
"This one speaks the truth," said Shit Mage.
Benny came up next and Shit Mage put his dick on his head. Benny swore.
"This one is noble," said Shit Mage. "A greater cat than he thinks."
Nikki came up and Shit Mage judged her. He put his dick on her head and yelled out.
"She is the one that will betray us all," said Shit Mage. "They all must die!"
"Why are you doing this!" yelled Rex. "You know who we are and we know you. You plan on destroying these people!"
Faggots grabbed Rex, Benny, and Nikki and threw them in the cell. Rex, Benny, and Nikki sat in the jail cell when there was another tremor from the shit volcano they were trapped under. Rex touched the wall lined with shit. The caves began to fill with shit stink.
"My Satan!" said Rex. "I hope I'm right! This will be our chance to escape. The volcano is about to erupt and shit will destroy us all!"
In the morning Andy and Kevin woke up. Suddenly they heard rustling in the bushes and a coyote jumped out. Andy threw a stick at the coyote. Coyote pissed on Andy. A second coyote jumped out. Coyote hung on Kevin's freckly penis. Andy kicked the coyote and two coyotes ran off. Andy and Kevin set off into the forest and came to Shitso's house in the forest. Andy and Kevin went inside. Shitso, the fat guy, was selling firearms. Andy and Kevin asked to buy some dynamite and gunpowder. Shitso sold them dynamite and gunpowder.
Alexei was still trying to find Rex and Benny in the forest. Scarab beetles attacked Alexei. They were flesh eaters. A scarab ate his way inside Alexei's testicles. It crawled around beneath the skin of Alexei's penis. Alexei was eaten and turned into a gray dry turd. Vagina can be used as a cereal bowl. Alexei blows in Benny the cat's face to piss him off. Alexei itches all over so he constantly has to scratch himself. Alexei nibbles on the genital organs of his cat.
Rex, Benny, and Nikki were brought out into the main chamber. Gayza came up. "It is time for your sexecution," said Gayza. She opened a platter of penis mushrooms.
"Poisonous but quick," said Gayza. "Eat them and your semen shall eat through your testicles and the girl shall shit her uterus out of her vagina."
Candles burned in the cave.
"I have to tell you something," said Rex. "The Oracfag you worship calls himself Shit Mage. He is the leader of the Fagicians who raped your people and stole your shit. He plans to destroy you all."
"Oracfag!" said Gayza. "Is that true? Is that true?"
"There is one more thing," said Rex. "The volcano we're under is about to erupt shit. We will all be destroyed unless you come with us to the surface. Show us a way out of here."
"You're lying," said Gayza.
"But can't you see the signs," said Rex. "The piss spring is now full of dead fish with shit in their gills. Shit stink spreads through the caves. The constant tremors."
"Let him come," said Shit Mage.
Rex walked up to Shit Mage and the wizard put his dick on Rex's head.
"He lies!" said Shit Mage. "He plans to kill us all. This dog is the leader of ones you call Fagicians. They are waiting for us at the surface. Kill them all!"
"Why you motherfucker," yelled Rex. "Come here you piece of shit! I'm gonna take your ballsac off and feed it to the pigs and wrap your penis in your uterus."
The gray skinned fags grabbed Rex, Benny, and Nikki and brought them to the poisonous mushrooms. Gayza picked up the penis shrooms and brought them up to Rex's mouth. Suddenly there was a tremor and shit gas shot out of the cracks in the walls.
Andy and Kevin came up to the cave in at the mine and planted dynamite all over the turd rocks. Andy made a fuse out of gunpowder. Andy lit a lighter and lit the fuse.
As tremors shook the earth Rex, Benny, Nikki, and the faggots ran. Shit Mage laughed. People screamed. Shit shot out of the crater of the volcano mountain and flowed down the sides of the volcano. Rex, Benny, and Nikki ran through the caves. The cave in exploded, sending shit flying into the sky. Rex, Benny, and Nikki saw daylight and ran out. The underground dwellfags retreated back into the chamber. They gathered among candles and began to sing in choir.
"We are fucking gay," they sang. "Fuck us up the ass. We're are fucking gay."
Andy and Kevin saw Rex, Benny, and Nikki run out of the mine. Shit flow from the volcano poured into the mine, drowning those people. They all headed home.
They sat in the woodshop in Rimforest. It was nighttime outside.
"That is a pretty amazing story," said Andy. "Faggots living underground singing Gaygorian songs, Shit Mage the Oracfag, walls lined with shit and semen."
"Fart deprivation can do strange things to the brain," said Kevin. "It was just a dream."
"Then we all dreamt the same thing," said Benny.
"All right," said Rex. "A gay dream it is."
The Shit Mage's face appeared in the full moon outside and he sang.
"We're fucking gay," sang Shit Mage. "Fuck us up the ass. We're fucking gay."
THE END