| Rex and Benny 33: Shit Trophies |
| Rex and Benny looked upon the world and saw how bad the goodness felt. Rex the German shepherd dog and Benny the gray cat were walking up Pisses Dr. in Valley of Enchantment. They walked by Johnnies Market and the post office. People were walking around. Rex and Benny turned the corner and walked up Log Lane along shitty houses. They came to a place where a forest started. "There is forest all around this place," said Rex. Sasquatches were walking through the forest. A sasquatch picked up shit off the ground and sniffed it. Suddenly a gunshot rang through the forest. A sasquatch fell. Another baby sasquatch ran. Rex and Benny ran up. They saw Shitso the fat fuck and two Mexicans shooting sasquatches. Two Mexicans got out a net and ran toward the baby sasquatch. Rex and Benny grabbed the sasquatch and ran with it. Two Mexicans fell down and got tangled in the net. Shitso grabbed a gun and started firing at Rex. Rex ran through the forest back to Log Lane. Benny the cat grabbed a vine and started swinging on it. He jumped on two Mexican guys trapped in the net and pissed on them. They rolled in piss. Then Rex and Benny ran away. Shitso kicked the Mexican guys wrapped in a net. "Forget the sasquatches," said Shitso. "I want the forest cat." AT THE DAWN OF THE CENTURY, REX THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG AND BENNY THE GRAY CAT FUCKED FOR A SHITTY WORLD. DRIVEN BY ASS-BITION, SEXUAL DESIRES, A THIRST FOR ASS-VENTURE, AND FUCKING THE ULTIMATE STORY. THEY'RE STRANDED IN A STRANGE AND SAVAGE SHIT. BEFRIENDED BY RETARDED PEOPLE. EACH DAY IS A DESPERATE FUCK TO SURVIVE� Sir Alexei Samul's THE SHIT WORLD IN CALIFORNIA, IN VALLEY OF ENCHANTMENT, ON SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS, IN CRESTLINE AREA. REX AND BENNY 33: SHIT TROPHIES Gunfire shattered VOE as trophy hunters tried to capture a sasquatch child. Rex and Benny ran around the corner and ran down Pisses drive towards the intersection. Somewhere on Log Lane Shitso and his men were firing guns into the air. Rex and Benny ran onto the driveway where Andy and Corey were working. Alexei's stepdad was working in the garage. Alexei's stepdad wears gay glasses like Alexei does. "Shitso and his men coming this way," said Rex. "They tried to capture me and Benny." Andy and nigger Corey ran into the woodshop garage to tell Alexei's stepdad. Rex and Benny went inside. As Andy and Corey were telling Alexei's dad, there was knock on the door. Rex and Benny saw Shitso and his men through the window. Rex and Benny opened the door. "I'm sorry," said Shitso. "And so are my men. There must've been a misunderstanding. We did not know the cat and dog lived here and thought we could catch them. There could've been a fine reward for runaway pets." "You know us, Shitso, and we damn well know who you are," said Benny. Alexei's dad started reaching for the cell phone to call the police. Shitso raised his rifle and pointed it at him. "Na-ah, motherfucker," said Shitso. "Now walk out of here or I'll pop a cap in your ass." Alexei's dad walked out the door and walked down the driveway. A shot was fired and a bullet hit near Alexei's dad's feet. "Dance, fucker, dance," yelled the Mexicans. They started firing out of their guns near Alexei's dad's feet. He danced around as bullets bounced off the ground. Shitso signaled two Mexicans to take away Alexei's dad. They walked up to him and walked him across the road with guns pointed at him. Bill the fat garbage man walked out of his house with a rifle. "What the fuck is going on here?" yelled Bill. "Hey, garbage hauling prick. I ought to teach not to stick your nose in someone else's business," yelled Shitso and shot Bill in the head. Rex, Benny, Andy, and Corey were seated inside the garage. Alexei's bitchy mom came out screaming, yelling for people and God to save her, and crying hysterically. She screamed as she ran and carried bags with Russian passports and Russian china Alexei's grandma send her from Russia. All the things she fell in love with! Shitso raised his rifle and fired. Bullets riddled her tits and one hit her in the head. Two Mexican handymen have returned. "We did the job on him," they said. Shitso walked up to Rex, Benny, Andy, and Corey. "Now you sit here and be good boys," said Shitso. "Or Shitchez and Rodfuckez here won't hesitate to shoot your fucking asses." Shitso and his Mexicans walked out of the garage. The two Mexicans punctured tires on all the cars so nobody will leave anywhere. Night came. Shitso and his men set up tents in the driveway and made a campfire. Andy snuck out of the house to spy on Shitso and his men. Shitso and two Mexicans sat by the campfire and played cards. In cards spades are BOOBS. Hearts are NUTSACS. Clubs are PENISES. Diamonds are VAGINAS. JACK is a FAG. QUEEN is a BITCH. KING is a HOMO. ACE is an ASS. "We're trophy hunters," said Shitso. "Benny will be mine. Their riches will be mine. And a few trinkets of the ill-fated Rex and Benny expedition to San Bernardino Mountains." Andy was spying on Shitso and his men. He saw Shitso signal a Mexican guy and he walked away into the darkness. Andy saw Alexei the gay Russian kid come into the camp. Shitso grabbed Alexei and stapled his nutsac to his legs and let the retard kid walk away. Alexei, the shitty Russian kid had sex with cats, dogs, coyotes, trees, Andy, Corey, his grandma, and Shitso, but Alexei never had sex with a hot chick. A Mexican guy walked up behind Andy in the darkness of the night and clubbed him on the head with a rifle. In the morning fog descended on the mountains. Corey was sitting in the garage and crying. How did things turn out this way? And now Andy was gone. Did the bad men kill him? Rex and Benny walked up to Shitso. "Hey, asshole," said Rex. "You seen Andy? He is missing this morning." "Hell no," said Shitso. "I hope he didn't go to no fucking cops. But hey. I'm a nice guy. I'll go into the forest with you and find him." Rex, Benny, and Shitso walked away down Hwy 138 into the fog. They yelled Andy's name. They came to the National Forest. Fog clouds floated over the forest. Rex, Benny, and Shitso walked through the woods with Shitso's rifle trained on them the whole time. "Everything seems to have gone wrong since I got here," said Shitso. Andy was tied up and gagged in one of the tents on the driveway. His pants were pulled down and a Mexican guy was buttfucking him up the ass. A Mexican guy pulled his penis out of Andy's ass and licked the shit off his penis. Rex and Benny were brought back in the garage. Rex, Benny, and Corey went inside the house and watched TV. Benny the cat formulated a plan. Corey lifted up the window and Rex tore out the screen. Benny climbed out the window and snuck up to Shitso's tents. Andy was tied and gagged and thrown in a hole that two Mexicans dug into the ground. The hole was covered with a trap door. Two Mexicans poured liquid shit down into the hole all over Andy. Benny snuck into the tent and found Shitso's bag. Benny found some dynamite in it with a trigger that is set off when someone steps on it. Benny dragged the dynamite with his teeth and came out of the tent. He dragged the dynamite down the highway, towards the forest. Benny has been gone for half an hour already. Benny dragged the dynamite into the woods. He came to a cave and put the dynamite behind a rock, and buried the step trigger in the ground. Meanwhile Rex used Corey's semen to make some semen diamonds. Rex put semen in piss inside a Petri dish. Some semen diamonds have formed. Corey started drawing a map on a piece of paper while Rex went out to talk to Shitso the trophy huntfag. Rex had semen diamonds up his ass. "I'm your friend," said Rex to Shitso. Rex pulled semen diamonds out of his ass with his tongue. "So I wish you would realize the geological potential here. I know where you can find more of these." Corey gave Shitso a map where Benny set up the dynamite. Shitso took the map. Suddenly two Mexicans came running up. Benny came running through the bushes and snuck back to the house. "We found Andy," they yelled. "He is hurt in the cave in the woods." Benny the cat was locked up in the house. Shitso will take him as a trophy. Now it was time to get rid of Rex and Corey and then they could go off with all their riches. Shitso has even robbed the infamous Professfag Challenger expedition to a mysterious plateau with dinosaurs in South America and left their stupid asses to die. Brought a few trinkets back to prove the made up story of their misfortune. Shitso led Rex and Corey into the woods while two Mexican handymen stayed behind to guard Benny. Rex and Corey are walking through the woods, Shitso's rifle trained on them. Animals are screeching around them. They came to a cave. Shitso pointed a gun at them and told them to go inside. Rex and Corey went into the cave and stepped on the switch Benny placed there. Rex and Corey dove into the cave as the dynamite went off. Corey's sexy black body was caught in flames. Rex's penis was caught in flames. A rock hit Corey in the head. Rocks collapsed and beat Rex's sexy body and penis. A small stalactite came down and shattered against Rex's back. Two Mexicans saw Shitso coming back. Benny was walking around the house and pissing on the carpet. Shitso burst in and pointed a gun at Benny. Shitchez and Rodfuckez, the two Mexicans, brought out a clamp on a stick and clamped it around Benny's ballsac. Benny was dragged by his ballsac. He screeched in pain. Shitso took off his clothes and pants, showing Benny the cat his genitalia. "You will be my favorite trophy," said Shitso. "I?m going to fuck you." Two Mexicans ran into the house with sacs and started clearing out Alexei's mom's ugly jewelry. They took all the change and some small electronic stuff. Shitso went into the backyard where Andy was lying in a hole covered with a trapdoor. Shitso opened the trapdoor and saw Andy tied up and gagged. Shitso pointed a gun at Andy and brought Benny before him. Shitso beat Andy with a fucking rifle. He hit him in the ballsac a bunch of times. Shitso fired into the sky from his rifle and touched the hot end of it against Andy's penis. Shitso walked Benny with a clamp around his ballsac on a stick. Shitso would yank on the clamp from time to time to give Benny sexy pain in the ballsac. Two Mexicans carried sacs filled with trophies. They headed into the woods where a volcanic cave led all the way down to San Bernardino off the mountain. The entrance of the cave was buried. Rex and Corey were hardly alive but they weren't crushed by the rocks. Rex and Corey started rolling rocks out of the way and opened a small passage. They slid through it and ran out of the woods back to the house. Back at the house the trophy hunters were gone. Rex went around back and saw a trapdoor. He slid the latch and opened it discovering Andy. Corey untied Andy and took the gag off his mouth. "They took Benny," said Andy. "We have to go after them." Rex could smell Shitso's ass stink so he was going to track them. Rex ran down Hwy 138, into the forest. Trophy hunters were walking through the forest, leading Benny along. They were in the pine forest. Suddenly there was a roar and a howl. Trophy hunters trained their rifles. A coyote ran out of the forest toward them and a bear came charging after it. Benny yanked on the ballsac clamp. It came out of Shitso's hands and unclamped itself. Benny was free. The coyote and the bear ran off into the forest. Benny ran through the trees. Shitso and his men yelled and started firing guns. Benny ran out and saw ground with steam vents. It was a volcanic place. He also saw the cave Shitso was talking about. Trophy hunters came running out of the woods. Two Mexicans set off across volcanic ground when Rex jumped in front of them. Shitso aimed his rifle at Rex and shot. Benny pushed the two men in front of Rex and the bullet shot through their heads. "I'll do the fucking job myself," yelled Shitso. "I'll have Benny's head over a fireplace!" Suddenly the volcanic ground began to crack and lava showed underneath. Shitso jumped on Rex and dragged him across the ground. Rex's penis went in steaming cracks. Benny jumped on Shitso but Shitso hit him and Benny went flying and grabbed onto a tree growing out of the soil. The ground beneath the tree melted into lava and tree began to sink and burn. Fire went up the small tree and Benny's ballsac and penis were bathed in flames. "Rex, fucking help me!" yelled Benny. Rex was busy fighting Shitso. They rolled along volcanic cracks. Rex's penis was caught in steam. Drops of lava fell on Shitso's body but he didn't care. The soil of the land now floated atop lava. It sank beneath Shitso and Rex as they rolled on it. Rex jammed Shitso's penis in the crack and it went inside lava and came out covered with molten rock. Shitso shrieked in pain. The tree Benny stood on has sunk. Benny jumped up off it into the air to buy himself time. The tree was gone in the lava. Benny came up from the jump and came back down towards lava. Rex jumped across the lava pool, grabbed Benny in his teeth, and landed on the ground with him. Rex and Benny ran off into the woods and watched Shitso. Shitso got up and ran to get the sacs with stolen goods when they sank in lava. Shitso screamed and ran toward the cave. He ran down into the cave. Rex and Benny saw ground turn to lava and lava poured into the cave. Rex and Benny went home. THE END |
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