☻I'm
@ the police station now
been done 4 drink
driving.Urine sample was
positive so I nicked the
sample.they r now doin me 4
taking the piss
You
Might Be a Cop if...
people shout, "I didn't do
it!" when you walk into a
room.
your idea of a good time is
an armed robbery at shift
change.
you disbelieve 90% of what
you hear and 75% of what you
see.
you believe the government
should require a permit to
reproduce.
you believe prozac should be
added regularly to the water
system.
when you mention vegetables,
you're not referring to the
food group.
you want to hold a seminar
entitled "Suicide - getting
it right the first time."
you call for a criminal
record check on anyone who
seems friendly toward you.
you believe anyone who says,
"I only had two beers" is
going to blow over 150.
you walk into places and
people think it's high
comedy to seize a co-worker
and shout, "They've come to
get you...".
How cops do it...
Cops do it by the book.
Cops do it with handcuffs.
Detectives do it under
cover.
Policemen do it without a
break for 12 hours.
A man pulls up to the curb
and asks the policeman, "Can
I park here?"
"No," says the cop.
"What about all these other
cars?"
"They didn't ask!"
A man was recently flying to
New York. He decided to
strike up a conversation
with his seat mate. "I've
got a great policeman joke.
Would you like to hear it?"
"I should let you know first
that I am a policeman."
"That's OK. I'll tell it
really slow!"
A tourist asks a man in
uniform, "Are you a
policeman?"
"No, I am an undercover
detective."
"So why are you in uniform?"
"Today is my day off."
"When I saw you driving down
the road, I guessed 55 at
least."
"You're wrong, officer, it's
only my hat that makes me
look that old."
☻im
at the police station.The
police caught me & filed a
case against me "possession
of good looks".i'm doomed! i
need someone ugly 2 bail me
out-so hurry up!
☻i
hereby place u under arrest
4 violating code 0569 -
distracting public with ur
xtreme good looks &sex
appeal.remain silent &
report 2 my bedroom