☻Mary
Mary quite contrairy how
does your garden grow?
Listen you prat i live in a
flat so how the damn do i
know.
☻Jack
& Jill went up da hill 2
have a little fun.But stupid
Jill forgot da pill and now
they have a son.
A nursery school teacher
says to the class, "Who can
use the word 'Definitely' in
a sentence?"
First little girl says "The
sky is definitely blue"
Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy,
but the sky can be grey, or
orange..."
Second little boy..."Trees
are definitely green"
"Sorry, but in the autumn,
the trees are brown..."
Little Johnny from the back
of the class stands up and
asks.. "Does a fart have
lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified
and says..."Johnny! Of
course not!!!"
"OK... then I have
DEFINITELY shit in my
pants..."
☻Mary Mary quite contrairy
how does your garden grow?
Listen you prat i live in a
flat so how the damn do i
know.
☻Jack & Jill went up da hill
2 have a little fun.But
stupid Jill forgot da pill
and now they have a son.
☻Mary had a little lamb &
tied it to a pylon a 1000
volts shot up its ass &
turned it into nylon
☻Mirror Mirror on the
wall.Whos the fairest of
them all?The mirror laughed
& den it spat- It sure aint
u.u ungly prat!
Nursery Rhymes
JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with
her,
Between two hunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET
Sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and
torn.
It was not the spider
that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his
horn.
SIMPLE SIMON Met a Pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the
Pieman,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb@ss!"
HUMPTY DUMPTY Sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great
fall.
All the kings horses and all
the kings men
Had scrambled eggs for
breakfast again.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
The cat did a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to
see such fun
When the cat died of
electric shock.
GEORGIE PORGY Puddin' Pie
Kissed the girls and made
them cry.
When the boys came out to
play,
He kissed them too, 'cause
he was gay.
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her
forehead.
And when she was good,
She was very, very good,
But when she was bad,
She got a fur coat, jewels,
and a sports car.
Naughty Nursery Rhymes!
Mary had a little lamb. Her
father shot it dead. Now it
goes to school with her,
between two hunks of bread.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a
tuffet, her clothes all
tattered and torn. It wasn't
the spider that crept beside
her, But Little Boy Blue and
his horn.
Simple Simon met a Pieman,
going to the fair. Said
Simple Simon to the Pieman,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dickhead."
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great
fall. All the kings horses
and all the kings men, said
"Screw the sucker, he's only
an egg."
Mary had a little lamb. It
ran into a pylon. 10,000
volts went up its ass, and
turned it's wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgy pudding and
pie, Kissed the girls and
made them cry. When the boys
came out to play, He kissed
them too, cause he was gay.
Nursery Rhymes For Big Kids
Mary had a little pig, She
kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork
went up, She shot the little
bastard.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her
father shot it dead. Now it
goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JACK AND JILL Went up the
hill To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man
going to the fair. Said
Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb #$%!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great
fall. All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men. Had
scrambled eggs, For
breakfast again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat
took a piddle, All over the
bedside clock. The little
dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and
Pie, Kissed the girls and
made them cry. And when the
boys came out to play, He
kissed them too 'cause he
was gay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was a little girl who
had a little curl Right in
the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was
very, very good. But when
she was bad........ She got
a fur coat, jewels, a
waterfront condo, and a
sports car.
Mother McGee went to drive
C:
to find her poor Windows a
byte
But, when she enquired, all
drive space expired
And not even Stacker would
put it right.
Little Miss Muffet opened
her notebook and called on
WordPerfect to write
Along came a spider, who sat
down beside her, and
explained how the
function keys worked.
Mary had a little Lan Then,
she wanted more
First she bought a lot of
RAM
Then part interest in a
computer store.
In honor of Elvis Presley
the Clintons have decided
their new home in New York
will be called Disgraceland
Simple Simon met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the
Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dickhead!"
Mary had a little lamb,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up its
ass,
And turned its wool to
nylon.
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat
did a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to
see such fun
And the cat died of electric
shock.
There was a little girl, who
had a little curl
Right in the middle of her
forehead
And when she was good, she
was very very good
But when she was bad, she
got a fur coat,
....jewels, a sports
car......
☻Mary
had a little lamb & tied it
to a pylon a 1000 volts shot
up its ass & turned it into
nylon
☻Mirror
Mirror on the wall.Whos the
fairest of them all?The
mirror laughed & den it
spat- It sure aint u.u ungly
prat!