He couldnae engineer his way outta paper bag!

True Bravery is to arrive at home,fully drunk,after a late night out,wife waiting wid broom & you ask; you still cleaning?

Here are 1000 smiles for u now. Take 1 now & put 999 under ur pillow & whenever u need 1 feel free 2 take 1, Just remember this from me!! Good Night.

I can appreciate coffee without milk.. Night without lamp.. Sandwich without Bread. Hamburgers without cheese.. But.. Not.. Apr 1 without U.

Life history of a Hero: In 1984 a Baby was born on Earth. Cuckoo sang, peacock danced and tigers and lions got fear of his birth and angles were blessed from the heaven his parents were very happy & Named the baby as "JAGADISH"
 

☻I wish you lots of itching and short arms.
 

☻You have the face of a saint...a Saint-Bernard!
 

☻Will we play the hulk together??.....I will be tall and strong and you green and ugly!!!
 

☻If you did not have any feet, would you wear shoes?? ...no... why do you wear a bra????!!!
 

☻A fart is a flying planet, created by God and produced by men!
 

☻Why do men fart more often than women ? Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure..
 

☻Oké honey, we will try one more time!! How do you spell 'IQ' ?
 

☻I am born this way, but what is your excuse?
 

☻I love the sea, I love the rocks, but when I see you I need to puke !
 

☻Some people die. Others become a teacher...
 

☻The more the merrier. The more women, the more prettier.
 

☻Women are just like frogs. They have a big mouth and are scared of the stork.
 

☻If I ever die because of marihuana, mark on my grave, I am too stoned to get up!!
 

☻When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!!
 

☻You know when you are really too fat? When you are on the beach and Greenpeace carries you back to the sea.
 

☻When are you really full of confidence? .............. If you fart having diarrhoea.
 

☻Roses are red ... Violets are blue ... but a face like yours belongs in the zoo !!!

☻On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
 

☻Nice hair, a shame that you sit on it.
 

☻Roses are red violets are blue, shit stinks and so do you!
 

☻He kisses her gently on the lips. She does not feel comfortable, squeezes her legs, and so his glasses broke.
 

☻A woman is a marvellous creation, she produces milk without eating grass, she bleeds without being hurt, gets wet even when it does not rain and sucks without needing power.
 

☻It is red and it taps on the window .................... A baby in a microwave.
 

☻I like your style ... I like your class ... but most of all I like your ass