☻Be
friendly with your kids, they
choose your home when you are
old!
☻Be
nice to the ones who smoke..
every cigarette migh be their
last.
☻BEEB!
Send this message to 5 of your
friends and you will have
unbelieveble sex tonight! If you
break this chain, you'll never
have multiple orgasm again!
☻Birdy
birdy in the sky, left a poopie
in my eye. Me don't care, me
don't cry, me just happy that a
cow can't fly!!
☻Braindetector
activated, calibrating, now
searching.........still
searching......get a good grip
of your mobile....still
searching.......no brains found.
☻Did
I not see you yesterday at the
mall, with a grey jacket? No? O,
than it was a rubbish bag after
all! .
☻Do
not disturb, I am enough
disturbed as it is . . .
☻Don't
feel sad, don't feel glue,
Einstein was ugly too !
☻E
man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00
item that he needs, a woman pays
$.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she
does not need.
☻Excessive
use of alcohol can lead to a
pregnancy.
☻For
you I would go as far as the end
of the world. Do you promise to
stay here ?"
☻God
created the earth, God created
the woods, God created you too,
but yes, even God makes
mistakes!
☻God
created the universe, the earth,
nature, the eggs, man and saw
that it was good and beautiful.
God also created woman and
thought : ‘I hope she will make
herself up’!
☻HALLO,
this is your mobile. There is no
particular problem. I just
wanted to leave your pocket,
want the smell is unbearable!!!
☻Hello
I am a virus and I am entering
your brain right now..... sorry
I will leave, I can't find a
brain.
☻Hello,
this is GOD. I make few bad
creations but you are the worst
monster I ever realised. My
apologies on behalf of the whole
world..
☻How
would you like your egg for
breakfast.... hard-boiled or
impregnated?
☻I
am a killer,I kill people for
money.....But because you are my
friend,I'll kill you for
nothing!
☻I
am not stupid, I am blond!!! B -
L - O - N - T
☻I
am not your type ... I am not
inflatable.
☻I
know why I am single, my
parents-in-law were not able to
have kids...
☻I
like to compare you with a nice
cold glass of beer, beautiful
colour, perfect taste, really
perfect and when the glass is
empty i just take the next one!
☻I
once sniffed Coke, but the
icecubes blocked my nostrils...
☻If
being ugly would hurt, you would
be in pain all day long.
☻If
you have picture where you look
old, keep them. In twenty years
you can prove that you have not
changed a bit.
☻If
you really ressemble the picture
on your ID, you are not fit
enough to travel.
☻Ik
would like to be a volcano...
smoke all day and people say ...
look he is working!
☻In
case of fire read this
message.....................................I
SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING
IDIOT!!
☻It
is charming, incredibly
handsome, extremely good, well
shaped, horny,an animal in bed
and it knows one French word ...
MOI!!
☻Love
me or leave me. Hey,where is
everybody going ???
☻Mobile
sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for
anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a
trio, 5 for SM and for
everything ... dial my number!
☻My
feelings for you are like the
sea. " Wild and romantic ? "
"No, they make me sick."
☻My
mother in law walks five miles
every day, I wonder where she is
at this moment...
☻Nice
perfume... but do you really
need to marinate in it?
☻One
out of four people is a chinese.
If your father, your mother and
your brother are not Chinese, it
must be you.
☻Opticians
bend your the rims/frames of
your glasses for they are too
polite to say that your ears are
in the wrong place.
☻Read
in a hospital... The
psychiatrist may nog be
disturbed
☻roses
are red, violets are blue,
frankenstein is ugly but what
the hell happened to you????
☻roses
are red, violets are blue, most
poems ryhm, but this one
doesn't...
☻Scientists
in the US proved that people who
do not perform well in bed and
who have difficulties to come
hold their mobile in their right
hand ..................
☻Smoking
is allowed in this area, blowing
not!
☻The
more I learn the more I get to
know, the more I know the more I
forget, the more I forget the
less I know, so why should I be
learning??
☻The
one who digs a hole for someone
else, is sweating blood !
☻They
dropped your name, can you pick
it up ?
☻This
cat, is cat, a cat, good cat,
way cat, to cat, keep cat, a
cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for
cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now
read it all without the word
cat!
☻This
is the telephone terrorist team.
While receiving this message a
virus will be activated. This
virus should have infected your
mobile by now. Your mobile will
be disabled, unless you are
ugly.
☻This
is your boss: "You are allowed
to read the newspaper during the
working hours and do certainly
not miss the job adds."
☻This
sms can only be read by someone
SEXY:...try
again...again...maybe you are
just not sexy?...one more
time...hey don't force it
ugly!!!
☻Those
beautiful eyes, that incredible
body, such a brain, a sexy
mouth, nice smile .... but that
is enough about me, tell me how
you are?
☻We
cannot grant you a life
insurance policy because you are
already 102 years old. "I do not
understand. It is proven
statistically that at that age
only few people die."
☻We
will now upgrade your
brain.......Please
wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still
searching........Sorry, no brain
found !!!
☻What
he want, I do not want ... What
I want, he does not want ...
What we want, is not allowed!
☻When
I was a dog, and you were a
flower, I walked over you and
gave you a shower!!
☻You
are an unwanted child. Your
parents paid the medical
expenses for your birth with
their accident insurance.
☻You
are never too blond to learn !!!
☻You
got STYLE... You got
SEX-APPEAL... You got the
BRAINS... and you sure as hell
got the
BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong
number
☻You
have the ones that think and you
have the ones that do things.
The worst kind are those who
think that they are doing
things.
☻You
should know what it takes to
look this cheap!
☻You
used to be so ugly that your
mother had to tie a steak around
your neck, otherwise even the
dog would not play with you
☻You
will have to cut back on your
sex live. What part will you
leave out, talking about it or
thinking about it?
☻You
with your beautiful eyes, you
with your nice hair, you with
your fantastic body ... o,
sorry, wrong number
☻You’d
better not be a dayfly and not
having your day.
☻Your
provider adjusted his rates. The
rate is determined by the length
of your genitalia, the shorter
they are, the less you pay. You
can telephone for free from now
on!
☻It's
important to find a man who
has money, a man who adores
you,a man who is great in
the sack. It's also imprtant
that these 3 men should
never meet!
☻A
man can kiss his wife
goodbye. A flower can kiss a
butterfly.Wine can kiss a
frosted glass.But u my
friend can kiss my ass!
☻i
tried to call you from a
payphone last night. i put
my doner card in by mistake,
it cost me an arm and a leg!
☻Hey
can u do me a favour, take a
pic of urself n send me it,
i'm playin cards n i'm
missin the joker!!
☻Hey
friend remember dat without
stupidity there can be no
wisdom & without ugliness
there can be no beauty… so
the world needs YOU after
all!
☻Jesus
says to John come forth ill
give you eternal life. John
came fifth he won a toaster
☻A
girl phoned me the other day
and said..."Come on over,
there's nobody home." I went
over. Nobody was home
☻At
dis moment in time 10
million people r having
sex.5 million people r
drinking coffee.100 million
people r sleeping & 1 stupid
fool is reading my text!pass
on
☻The
rain makes all things
beautiful.The grass &
flowers 2. If rain makes all
things beautiful why doesn’t
it rain on you?
☻i
want u 2 know dat our
friendship means alot 2 me.U
cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U
jump out of da window... I
look down & den... i lauf
again
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