"How can you square a dollar?! It's a rectangle!"
"When I was older..."
"What letter in the alphabet is R?" - Umm... ::ahem:: That would be... uh... me... hehe
"Complimentary cheese?!"
"I understand quick, but you gotta explain things to me for a long time." - My Uncle Clare again
"Did he have problems or was he a recluse?"
"What do you call it when two things mean the same thing?"
"Oxymoron."
"He wasn't an oxymoron. He wasn't a moron at all."
"I was telling Clare about this cake I made. He said, 'That sounds real good.' I says, 'Do you want some?' He says, 'No.'"
"Now he's an oxymoron."
"I'm not an oxymoron - I took nine years of grade school!" - relatives, of course
"I have a nine-year-old, a seven-year-old, and three-year-old."
"Oh! How old are they?" - Total strangers (thankfully)
"When does he turn sixteen?"
"This year, the same time he turned fifteen last year."
"But what year?"
"He's my friend Laura's little sister."
"Hey! I'm bigger than my sister!" - Two guys
"That's sixteen lengths."
"No, wouldn't it be sixteen?"
"What's the date of the 25th?" - Me
"I thought they told me to go out there and find a liar. How am I supposed to find a liar in the middle of a football field?? That's like looking for a needle in a haystack! Then I found out they were looking for a piece of Mylar." |
