YEAR ZERO: Tales from the Underground since 2005

TOWN IS TOO EXPENSIVE

TOWN IS FAR TOO EXPENSIVE:WWhy waste $70 every week when you can buy 10-11 beers for a bloody fraction of that price at the supermarket???.

Oh yeh and since bills dont pay by themselves and im on a SEVERE BUDGET DIET (ie. only withdrawing an x amount p/w) i dont think ill be seeing town for at least a while....bloody petrol prices...bloody petrol prices.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 30 June. 2008 4.10pm

OH YEH I THOUGHT I MIGHT TELLS YOUSE THIS

MY JIHAD WITH VODAFONE: Is over after they FINALLY ADMITTED THEY WHERE WRONG About that $1000 bill, However still not happy with them, Just cos ive made peace with them it doesnt mean were friends....just remember one more mistake and its back to war.....
See my jihads can be won if you just fight the right way...sadly McDonalds is still going and i wish upon McDonalds and untimely and ultimate destruction.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 26 June. 2008 5.08pm

THE CRASH - THE SEQUEL

AFTER A THOROUGH INSPECTION:. Of my Whip, There IS Damage to the lower panel and such.....Getting expert advice from the panelbeaters tomorrow.
Ah well...guess whose gunna be paying for the damage done...coytanly not me, also thinking about filing criminal charges on this lady as well.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 26 June. 2008 4.59pm

THE CRASH!!!!!!!

JUST 30 MINUTES AGO:. I was driving down Evans Bay Pde near the Hataitai Beach, I stop at a pedestrian crossing as a man was waiting to cross (so much for that arrogant dickless fuck driving the airport shuttle bus who refused to stop), He begins to walk across the road then BANG!!! Some dickhead strikes the back of my car - SO FAR There is no damage done to my car but shear luck, However i will be traking the car into the panelbeaters on Friday to pick up any possible underlying damage that was caused by impact.
Nobody was hurt obviously However the female driver admitted to me that she was looking over the harbour and away from the road, then she kept changing her story - "The road was wet and greasy", Now in the industry i work in changing your story is a sign of guilt and dishonesty, So i said to her "wait, wait a minute...you just said you where lookinjg over the harbor now you say the road was wet and it caused you to crash"....What this lady said sounded like a whole heap of bollocks to me.
Fortunatly this time i was calm but fairly firm with the lady...unlike previous acidents ive had that have been no fault of mine - I tells you Labour Weekend 2002 when that Cuntface dickweed who turned left while in a right hand turning lane WITHOUT USING AN INDICTAOR - This ended up with me and the guy having a heated arguement with me swearing at him like a trooper and making dire threats towards him - I was so angry that this dickhead smashed up my car - hell the police had to come in and calm us down luckily i wasnt taken in but got asked heaps of questions on the scene about the accident, he kept counter-answering with a mad eup story. Later i hear from the sgt at the station that they guy was taking prescription medication - THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU DRIVE WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF A MOTOR (Scuse the pun) DEPRESSING DRUG THEN DICKHEAD??? i asked myself about that komo fuckface at the time, i even said that to the copper about the guy. Had i had any wisdom back then i would have got the guy to PERSONALLY PAY for the damage he done to my car because of his dickless komo-face driving.
At least this time with what happened today the woman was at least trying to apologise and i told her in a calm manner "well it might pay to use common-sense and keep your eyes on the road rather than on the harbor", What if she'd been in front of me and she struck that poor pedestrian crossing the road?? i could only imagine she'd be taken in by the po-po by now.
As she was at fault and my panelbeater picks up any underlying damage the woman will be required to pay for such as she was at fault, im not using my 3rd party insurance to pay for her damaged headlights when she was clearly at fault. Its about teaching people responsibility for there own actions.
But yeh the moral of the story is NEVER KEEP YOUR EYES OFF THE ROAD and read the billboards - KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ACTION means exactly that, they dont put those signs up there for nothing innit?
But on the bright side - yeh i think ill buy a lotto ticket this weekend :)
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 25 June. 2008 4.41pm

YOU MAY AS WELL JUST LEGALISE ASSAULT

WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYBODY:. Want to circulate a petition that re-legalise parental assaul tupon children???
Fuck You mothrfucking bastards of the Family Party, The Kiwi Party and the likes of those fundie dickheads - May god roast your stomachs in hell you punk ass hypocritical bitches.
(hypothetically)Now lets say i stopped my car in the middle of Mt Vic. Tunnel at rush hour to "sort out man to man" the dickhead honker Behind me, not only would i be charged with assault, i would be charged under New Zealand traffic laws with "endangering public safety" and other charges, especially how i would have committed an assault against someone in a confined space during rush hour traffic - Hey listen Up if you honk at somebody in that tunnel quite frankly you deserved to get your head smashed in, so many people out there take the sound of the horn offensively - oh and that applies anywhere too not just the Mt. vic Tunnel, what about those honkers that toot when your at an intersection and its unsafe to move, or your turning a cnr using your indicator and the car behind you toots, they deserve the bash as well.
But if these Christian fucks get there way it will be no longer illegal for a parent to assault there kids, i mean how fucked up is that?? whats the differenc between hitting harry the honker as discipline and a child for discipline?? i see none.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 24 June 2008 4.33pm

ATTN AMY WINEHOUSE FANS: A MUST READ

HATE TO BREAK THE NEWS FOLKS:.But word around the street says that Singer Amy Winehouse has just been diagnosed with Emphysema.
This is terrible, terrible news, considering that i am a fan of Ms Winehouses music.
but see what yeas of smoking - tobacco or otherwise can cause you???? DONT SMOKE KIDDOS.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 23 June 2008 4.50pm

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BLACK WIDOW CD??

IN LATE 1999:. As a drugged out longhaired Uni student i brought myself Black Widows Sacrifice, nearly a decade later ive seemed to have lost it, or did i throw it out when it got to stratchy?? shit i cant remember...see what psychedelic drugs and herbs do to youse kiddos???
Id always listen to this shit stoned and tripping. Me the longhaired early 70s mostache clad leather jacket wearing chain smoker/boozer/druggie dude..
Even that band i was planning on forming at the time was gunna be based around heavy late 60s psych/power rock.....and Black Widow was the forefront of influences.
So much for my hippie trippy days of earlier this decade...now i just fucking hate Hippies, kicked the drugs, gave up the durries and hell...life i VERY VERY Dirrent from what it was earlier this decade.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 18 June 2008 3.25pm

5 DEAD POLITICANS HANGING FROM A ROPE

GO AHEAD AND BLAME THE LIQUOR STORES:. For the shooting of that poor shopkeeper in auckland 10 days ago, Our Violent and reckless criminal Prime Minister is now blaming Mr Sighn for his own death at the hands of armed robbers saturday week. Now with 2 other high profile murders here are the government blaming liquor stores for everything.
Lies Lies Lies....
As a matter of fact, the Police and the New Zealand Lawmakers ar to blame - Our right to self defence even with a knife or a firearm IS A FUNDAMENTAL AND GARUNTEED RIGHT UNDER THE CRIMES ACT 1961. Now we have a man fined $3000 and losing his guns (Garth Gasby) for firing at 2 burglars in a wairarapa settlement that is at least 90 minutes from the nearest police station and now a family man now facing a murder charge when he confronted 2 taggers - one of whom was about to "do him over".
Its a national tragedy this country ever got rid of the death penalty for treason - and i officially indict ALL of our 121 lawmakers for The following offences.
1 - High Treason
2 - Waging a reckless and aggressive war upon New Zeland citizens (which is high treason)
3 - False imprisonment, kidnapping, of persons who are not afraid to stand up to there fundamental right of self defence.
4 - Suppression of freedom of speech, association, thought and belief.
5 - Membership in a major criminal and class-A Terrorist organisation (The New Zealand parliament)
It makes no diference who wins the next election - ALL parties sitting in parliament are a Criminal organisation bent on destroying your livliehoods, your safety and well being.
All parties and lawmakers within the NZ Parliament are common bloodstained criminals who care only about there own arrogant selves rather than there constituents and fellow country folks safety and wellbeing.
To let you know i am not scared to use a knife or whatever to fend off an intruder in my own home and to all you police and poilitiansd who want to stop me - FUCK OFF AND HANG FROM A RUSTY MEATHOOK WITH PIANO WIRE YOU TREASONOUS BASTARDS!!!!! After all judging by recent events the police dont give a fuck about these things anymore.
5 DEAD POLITICIANS - HELTHER SKETLER
5 Dead politicians hanging from a rope
5 dead politicians listen to them croak
We now drop our guns
Cos the war against the traitor has been won
5 dead politicians hanging from a rope.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 17 June 2008 1.46pm

SECOND TO LAST WEEK

THE REMAINDER OF THIS WEEK:. And all of next is all i have to enjoy my holiday....before its back to work again in 2 weeks.
Biggit up.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 13 June 2008 2.40pm

UPPER HUTTS OFF THE CARDS - FOR NOW!!!

DUE TO ANOTHER HIKE IN PETROL PRICES:. I Have put off moving to Upper Hutt for the immediate future....with $2.13 p/l petrol plus the added bonus of a huge rise in train and bus fares, Upper Hutt seems like a big waste of time for now....surely enough Upper Huts roads are by far much better engineered and designed compared to Towns roads but economic reasons have forced a delay in this...this goes beyond my control...Someonne needs to pump a cap in George Bush's ass cos i blame him for all the worlds problems including high petrol prices.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 13 June 2008 2.36pm

CELLPHONE DRIVING BAN COMING TO A CAR NEAR YOU

WELL ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME:. New Zealand is planning on banning drivers from using there cellphones (unless they are hands free sets). This i say couldnt have come any sooner enough, in fact it should have been banned years ago.
Statistics are sobering - your more 20x more likely likely to crash your car texting and driving than you are with a blo0d alcohol level of 100mg/100mls and twice as likely to do so talking on your cellphone than with a the same blood alcohol level - so in short driving with an elevated blood alcohol level is BY FAR Safer than talking on/texting on your cellphone.
people should learn to use commonsense and pull over to the side of the road to talk to somebody while driving. This cellphone ban has come too late and too far...in The Aussie state of QLD driving while talking on your cellphone/texting was punished ages ago. Yet NZ has lollygagged behind the rest of the world by until now denying text/cellphone driving was ever a hazard and continued to demonise those who drink alcohol to the legal limit of 80mg/100ml as the big cause...well yes alcohol does impair your driving and driving absolutely pissed as a chook is wrong but driving while sending a text and/or gabbering away on your mobile is also wrong and in fact your more likely to end up in a road smash or road rage attack cellphone driving than you are driving with a blood alcohol level of 80mg-100mg/100ml or lower.
Lets hope that the penaltys for texting and driving will be the same as those for driving grossly intoxicated - that is dickheads dont care shit about the law and drive with BACs above 160mg/100ml anyway. In any case Text drivers deserve to have there asses thrown into one of Her Majestys many Chains of Hotels where accomodation, meals and fresh air and exercise are provided free of charge to the inmate and the added bonus of having a broomstick shoved up your arse in the shower is also free.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 11 June 2008 1.26pm

IS UPPER HUTT BECKONING

DUE TO MY DEEP HATRED OF NARROW ROADS:. I am Considering moving back to Upper Hutt rather than looking around Johnsonville for a new place to stay....
Upper Hutts roads are drivable and you dont have to nearly swipe another car just to get through on a two lane road nor stop and get angry the the car coming in on the opposite lane cos its in your way...i fucking hate narrow roads....
Ive been told by friends that the Upper Hutt PD (The Po-Po) have removed most of the bad drivers that have seemed to dominate in U/Hutt over the last few years but ill believe it when i see it..
But then again with petrol expected to hit $2.50 by this week....hell i just dunno but whats more important...sanity or petrol???
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 9 June 2008 3.30pm

MY FLICKR

ALO AGAIN:. I Trust youse have all seen pics from The Great Aussie Pubcrawl that occured 3 weeks ago in surfers??? Oh and of course i trust youse have all viewed my video recording Theres 10 pics up there and i endeavor to add more next week including that of the greatest mystery of them all....why do aussies call Burger King 'Hungry Jacks'??.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday June 6 2008 2.41pm

IM GUNNA CHANGE MY NAME

AS OF THIS DAY:. I am unofficially known as Jesus Miguel Rodriguez.
Using an alias is so cool
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday June 6 2008 2.41pm

HAPPY MATARIKI Y'ALL

KIA ORA TENA KATO KATOA:. And happy Matariki to youse all. For all you overseas folk Matariki is the Maori New Year and over the next several weeks Matariki will be honoured although it is not a public holiday in New Zealand it is still a significant part of Kiwi culture observed by people of all ethnicitys not just our indigenous people.
May this years Matariki bring out the best in everyone - arohanui
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday June 6 2008 2.40pm

I DONT WANNA GO THERE

MY DAD IS OFFERING:. Me a trip to Invercargill with him next week but I dont wanna go there, Invercargill is - as Keith Richards put it - The Asshole of the world, Its too cold at this time of the year, There is absolutely SFA To do down there, Last time i was there The only thing to do was hang around in a cemetary all day - That was 10 years ago but i doubt if anything has changed if it has i reckon it would be very little. Oh yeh go out and visit my Uncles Farm near Wallacetown but again its a farm and there is very little to do in Rural Southland - yet alone invercargill.
Frankly there is more to do in Upper Hutt than Invercargill so i think i'll pass on the offer. Plus southland accents creep me out too, They talk like yankees....im not insulting my family or heritage but like i say, Upper Hutt has 10000 people less than Invercargill yet theres more to do in U/Hutt.
Nor is this an anti-intercargill rant, in saying this and if your reading this from invercargill, you probably find that Upper Hutt is the "Asshole of the World" and "Full of Bogans", Well how can you judge Upper Hutt if youve never been there? Most of the Bogans have shipped out or have started familys and have grown out of the Bogan Culture and Its Now Boyracers and dirty, dirty Chav Skanks (Youse know the ones that drink at the Hut Sports Cafe and Quinns Post Friday/Saturday nights?) who have taken over.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 5 June. 2008 1.25pm

GO OBAMA, YAHOOOO

OBAMA 4 PRESIDENT:. Hes done it, he beat that bushpig Hillary Clinton. Hillary is just like her husband, except her husband is a big bullshitter and "did have sexual relations with that woman". Hillary would have lead the world into an apocalytic nuclear war, she supports attacking Iran.
As for Obama, hes a charismatic and highly professional person and i know he could kick the ass of John McCain come November, GO OBAMA.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 5 June. 2008 1.23pm

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