.:RANTS:.

Preps/Slutty Girls

Top 40 Music

Paris Hilton *NEW*

Emo Sucks

Summer

Reality TV

Boyracers

MTV

.:WRITINGS:.

Anti McDonalds Tirade

.:OTHER FOLK:.

Joanna

Heather

Robyn

Serra

Dave Farrar

Brave Our Burbs

Wanda Harland

Petone is fulla jelly

Portia

Tumeke

Skankybitch

.:DISCLAIMER:.

The views and opinions of Year Zero do not nessecarily reflect the views and opinion of the reader (and of course the rest of the world). Thast why we operate a policy of 'RESTECP' - its simple Restecp my opnions and you will go along way in life, and literally you will so R.E.S.T.E.C.P

.:ARCHIVE:.

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.:COPYRIGHT:.

YEAR ZERO - TALES FROM THE UNDERGROUND SINCE 2005 (c) 2005 - 2006 Brother hood Broductions and Chris Zero - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED unless stated otherwise. Any offender/s caught nicking shit off here will be tracked down and made to sing Pollywollydoodle whilst in drag at Westpac Stadium IN FRONT OF 60,000 people armed with video cameras/cameras ready to make DVD's of such. Its simple if you dont want to be the global laughing stock DONT NICK SHIT FROM HERE. (unless i say so)

.:SITE STATS:.

.:BROTHERHOOD BRODUCTIONS:.

The concept of Brotherhood Broductionswas thought of way back in 1998 when i designed my first website, the mission was to unite all the sites i run into one single entity, now 8 years later this dream is finally a reality, BB sites include: This Site McJihad Much more to come.

LEMMIE GET THIS STRAIGHT

IF I SMACKED OVER: The driver of the car behind me at an intersection for tooting at me to go when its clearly unsafe i can risk a jail term of 6 months but here is a group of people wanting to relegalise assault upon children if they play up. Whats the difference between a child playing up and misbehaving over an impatient little hutt valley prick wearing a red and black checkered flannette wifebeater jacket honking to tell you to move at a busy intersection, i mean doesnt the impatient honker deserve a hiding too? Coming from the Hutt myself i know that out there if you toot at somebody or drive with your light son high beams at someone you risk getting "da bash" - hutt valley customary law. Yes you risk 6 months in the slammer if you do so, luckily ive never goen as far as shouting profanities and threats at the bastards....but nothing phsycial....ive heard of cases that have been far worse than threatening and hostile words. Hey the legal defence of provocation regarding assault was abolished in 1980. But not in Upper Hutt where it clealry remains a legal defence under "Hutt Valley Customary Law". Hey smacking over bad drivers is what they do all the time in Upper Hutt Innit? So yeh whats next if they manage to convince the government to overturn the anti-smacking act will assault soon become legal? Just wait and see.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 25 February 2008 5.43pm

DECLARATION OF JIHAD AGAINST THE CRUSADER VODAFONE CORPORATION

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN: The vodafone corporation have been given plenty of time to mend there crooked ways, however they chose to ignore my ultimatium to a-)improve there service, b-) quit fucking up and c-) refund the $103 of mine they lost in the mail. Vodafone have out of there own arrogance ignored my demands. It is to inform you all with aggression that i have declared a Jihad against the vodafone Corporation and its componants - the reason being? Extremely poor service, incompetant staff and the fact they have riped me off, taken me for a ride.... And just WHY i have declared a Jihad upon Vodafone?? REASON ONE: There internet is piss poor - ok youve installed everything acording to the strictist instructions provided you try and connect and just then bukkah - a "connection/network error" message appears, it tells you on how you can fix this, you do exactly what they tell you...doesnt work, you reintall it again...doesnt work....lemie ask youse? what kind of fucked up organisation canot even understand the very basics of internet protocol? REASON TWO: There customer service is extremely poor, hell i wouldnt call it customer service...you call them if you have a problem but getting hold of them is like trying to retrieve gold from a silver mine, i was placed on hold for eternity while a repeated message kept saying "where sorry all our lines are busy please keep holding" I just gave up after 9 minutes and slammed down my phone in a fit of rage and cussing. othe times ive tried calling and all i get is "all our lines are overloaded thank you have a nice day". and if you finally do get to speak to them there staff are unhelpful - hey are you an IT expert or some bimbo ex-woolworths trolly dolly - why dont you go back to being checkout chicks not self confessed "IT Chicks?" REASON THREE: They are a fraud. I was sent a bill for nearly $1000 from these bastards just this arvo...and in my latest billing period i was online only 1/2 the time i was in the previous billing period, hell not even an internet cafe is charged $1000 for an internet bill....ive been taken for a ride....and this was on a $40 plan. REASON FOUR: They lost my first bill payment of $103 in the mail because of there incompetant mailroom staff who didnt even graduate standard 4? The dumbass customer service rep said they would get the customer service manager to call me back within 4 business days regarding this....they never did. As a result my home internet connection was terminated by myself as the holy war against this evil crusader infidel whos sole intention is to defraud its customers, provide a poor service. I am now waging a jihad in which the goals are - to spread the message on how poor vodafone is not only as an ISP but as a a company as a whole and aim to encourage all my fans and viewers to ditch vodafone and wage a jihad and/or intifada against Vodafones. And if you dont want to ditch vodafone then youse are prolly just a plain asshole....your either with me or against me and if your against me....well.....thats just a goddam shame...shame on you. We will use a shock and awe campaign to fight vodafone....and no it wont be using fighter bombers, helicopter gunships or suicide bombers but through words...no other weapon has ben proven more powerful than those of the spoken word....Im fighting evil, a purely satanic, unscrupulous and incompetant telecommunications company. As for now...its only going to be a matter of time before i have a new ISP...anyone that doesnt take there customers for a ride with fraud and incompetance Vodfone is going down...Vodafone sucks donkey cock, DEATH TO VODAFONE Fuck Vodafone, Die Vodafone Die (and thats NOT German for 'The Vodafone The') We aim to acheive our goals of fighting to the death this unscrupulous corporation until it gives in and stops defrauding its customers with deceit and incompetance. No Peace until Vodafone is Deceased...I Will be praying for Vodfones Sudden and violent downfall...just like all those finance companies in NZ and merchant banks overseas...I Hope Vodafone goes down into the pits of hell the same way. Thank You, Good-Day and May Ja'h Bless Youse All Chris Zero 22-02-2008

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 22 February 2008 1.19pm

LUDES DUDE SPOTTED @ J'VILLE

HEY GUESS WHAT: I Saw "ludes dude"*at J'Ville shopping centyer on saturday afternoon, he seems to have joined the double trim latte set, sipping coffee at muffin break... Ludes dude - that geezer in the red jumpsuit that hangs out just outside the TAB/Starmart on Courtaney place with his little trophy demanding money from innocent passersby - was at a stage where he and blanket man where on the brink of a turf war until blanket man moved to cuba mall. Spends his daily pay on methaqualude pills AKA Quaaludes AKA Ludes.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 18 February 2008 5.51pm

TIME EXTENDED

MY ULTIMATIUM TO VODAFONE: Has been extended by 24 hours, In other words, Vodafone have until MIDAY FRIDAY to allow me back on their internet network otherwise ITS JIHAD Oh no..no..no...this wont be a jihad with fighter planes, guns, car bombs and suicide bombers, the weapons i will be using will be Words....Nothings a more powerful weapon than words themselves....I will be telling 10000 people of Vodafones poor service, they will tell 10000 others and so forth.....A 5 page long rant about vodafone will be up and running on this website time permitting...in otherwords it will be a Shock And Awe campaign....just like the one im using against McDonalds....2 years ago yesterday the grand mcjihad was declared.... But yeh vodafone - remember midday friday or else.....you will be getting a 5 page long rant from me plus i will be telling millions of people via way of the internet about your poor service....remember!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 13 February 2008 5.56pm

OUTLAW VALENTINES DAY

FUCK VALENTINES DAY: It should never ever have ben invented, The festival should be banned, just another stupid corporate craze so unscrupulous corporations such as teleflora florists, hershys and cadbury can make a killing off, they prize in the misery of many (i should have smacked my old car into a lamp-post drunk and at speed many years ago if i knew where i was heading to know - what a cool way to depart this cruel world, hey it was the number one way to die in 1973 and 74, why not now?). But nah seriously If i was Prime Minister Valentines Day should be banned, all those who observe it hurled into gulags @ gunpoint and made to undergo forced labour at gunpoint - no affection will be shown by anyone, on top of that April 20 - or 4/20 - will be declared a closed public holiday - Marijuana should be avaliable at 95% of the retail price, the only places allowed to open would be dairies and convenience stores at thousands of longhairs, hit with the munchies will come running down to empty the shelves of there corner dairy, the police will have little if any work to do as everybody would be peaced out, no violence whatsoever, everybody will be peaceful, happy and too lazy to get up off there couch while listening to jefferson airplane, blue cheer or watching kiddie carttons such as the smurfs. The bottom line is I declare a Jihad on Vlaentines Day - Da Bell End.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 13 February 2008 5.47pm

YES IM STILL ALIVE

SORRY ABOUT THE LACK OF UPDATES: Over the past few days, but i have a bloody good reason (and you probably know why). Vodafone are a bunch of cock-sucking, useless, Komo Bitches, Theyre Fuamieki, Ufa, Susupoki....Anger is only a slight word i have towards them.... The problem with these bastards are - Everythign is connected right and according to instruction, and the bill has been paid on time but i keep getting this "cannot connect blah blah blah", try reintalling your Huwei modem, doesnt work, try reintalling the whole package, no avail, try calling the Vodafone helpdesk - just a waste of time as you can never get in...and if you do, the clueless 21 year old preppie bimbo customer service rep with no knowlege of the internet yet alone computers gives you bullshit information on how to work it and yet it still doesnt work. Go back to your trolly dolly job at countdown fool.... So in saying this i am giving The Vodafone Corporation 48 hours, yes thats right...48 hours as of 6pm tonight to tell me why my internet connection wont work despite the fact everything is installed right, the bill is paid and the sim card is working 100% correctly, failure to comply with my demands will mean i will cancel my account with these bastards and go to war against these fuckers...2 years and 2 days after i declared a Jihad upon McDonalds*. Once more Thursday afternoon Vodafone will be receiving a 5 page long rant oops i mean complaint about there poor service....and i will pass it on to 10 people i know and who will pass it on to another 10 people and so...hell you get the idea, but rather than 10 on 10 on 10, it'll be 1000 on 1000 on 100 and so forth. I will be demanding my $400 back plus the $105 you lost in the fucking mail cos of your incompetant mailroom staff who obviously failed standard 4 (year 6). I Will not do business with a company that has taken me for a ride on top of the etremely poor service they have provided, not to mention there extremely high prices. So...it could be a week, it could be next week, hell it could be a month...i do not know....but updates will be sporadic until i get myself a new ISP, one that doesnt dick around its customers and one that has fully qualified help desk staff rather than some bimbo ex-countdown trolly dolly who doesnt know shit about the internet yet alone computers or her companys products and services. Regards Chris Zero. *NB: Yes...tomorrow at midday will mark exactly 2 years to the day i declared a Jihad upon McDonalds and i will not give up the fight until McDonalds is wiped off the face of the earth...remember folks...no peace till mcdonalds is deceased.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday February 11 2008 5.51pm

GUTTED!!!

I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE FRIDAY IN ONE WORD: GUTTED, Utterly gutted....I get to the gates of the stadium and as i was forcibly dragged off to the sevens by some mates of mine i had no choice nor ticket so i used commonsense and went to the ticket booth, the ticket booth girl was rather rude, poor customer service skills and the what she said "can i help you" in a rude, snottish way, feeling somewhat offended i asked how much it was to get into the stadium, having heard all sorts of rumours about ticket prices ranging from $40-$120, the ticket girl then said "sorry theres no more tickets", to which i replied "till when?" and she replied "sorry were not issuing out anymore tickets". Gutted i call my homies to say theres no more tickets for sale and i was heading down to the dockside, then another call "chris where the fuck are you" to which i had to tell them "didnt the message get passed on, i cant get in, theres no more tickets on sale", then some confusion breaks out before i finally settle the deal...."hey i cant just climb over the fence innit, the security guards will come after" so then they resigned there fate into not having my company at the sevens - i mean not for the rugby but for the vast number of yarrayarra that was there, the biggest batchelor party of the year ruined because the sevens ticket people made the idiotic choice to stop selling tickets at the gate. We all agreed later in the night that the Black Caps - England match will be the next time we'd get anywhere near the yarrayarra and these things happen, i hit it early and was home tucked up asleep (and hungover) by 10.30pm. The others? i heard one geezer (who shall remain nameless) had to be kicked out of Shooters due to intoxication but yeh, what was meant to be a fun filled evening was ruined by the poor service and idiocy of the stadiums ticketing staff. As for the sevens themselves? Dickheads in gayass costumes and C-Grade Rugby.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday February 2. 2008 1pm

UNSCRUPULOUS HOMIES

IVE BEEN DRAGGED OFF TO THE 7s: By some Unscrupulous Homies of mine Hey i aint going fo rthe rugby - i hate rugby, im only going for the piss and the Yarrayarra. Hmm...may as well wear my Borat costume, yes thats right THAT borat costume, i need to piss off some people i used to work as a "security consultant" to this time 2 years ago.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday February 1. 2008 3.12pm

YEAA YEEAY YEEAY WE IS FWEE FWEE FWEE

LETS GET THE CAKE OUT AND START SINGING: Heres Goes Nigga Happy Birthday to Us Happy Birthday to us Happy Birthday dear Year Zero Happy Birthday to us Just to jog yo memory, today February 1. 2008 is the third birthday of this website - and although only 6700 have seen this site since then, its still a considerable number, with your help we can reach the golden milestone of 10000 by years end. 3 Yeears old today - another year zero milestone, restecp.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday February 1. 2008 3.09pm