YEAR ZERO: Tales from the Underground since 2005

JOHN KEY IS A WANKER

SELF EXPLANATORY INNIT: He wants to return to the 'dark ol' days' of Work for the Dole - A Failed Scheme by then Rimutaka MP Peter McCardle (co-incidentally my old MP during the Upper Hutt Days).

I Suppose hes also gunna bring back the Relief work camps so commonly seen across the country during the 1930s Depression Era - How lame. Under Him The poorest families would be reduced to 1x meals of Boiled Pumpkin and Onions and nothing more - just as it was during the Depression.

and his "tough on crime" policy is what i call "lukewarm" - I Cannot see him upholding New Zealanders Right to Self Defnse of which was illegally robbed from us By a group of Bloodstained Common Criminals and self-centered, arrogant power hungry bandits in the 1980s.

And sometimes i wonder why this wanker ever entered politics.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 31 January 2007: 4.07pm

THE BIG 1+1

LETS ALL CELEBRATE: This very websites second birthday tomorrow. It seems that when i launched this website one very hot, humid wellington afternoon on February 1. 2005 i would have no idea of its prospects, no idea of changes or whatever and i 'earby formally proclaim YEAR ZERO: Tales from the underground since 2005 a Major Success.
Ill try my best to u/d tomorrow - assuming there are no queues at any internet cafes - I am still in the process of getting my own internet to avoid having to wait in lines of which in some places can be up to 10 minutes and as you may already know I CANNOT STAND QUEUES namely because of todays fast paced environment so much to do in so little time.
Of course February is always a BIG Month for the one-man team at Bruvvahood Broductions and this year is no exeptions, you may notice there hasnt been a McJihads update for a couple of months - Thats cos im gunna relaunch it under another subname (although content will be the same as it is) - In Any case February 12 is the 1st Anniversary of the Declaration of a Global Jihad against McDonalds and - time permitting - Friday a VERY BIG SURPRISE - a website dedicated to a very famous person indeed - whom this is i am not at liberty to name but its a person everybody knows very well - even worldwide.
Again ill endeavour to u/d tomorrow if not friday with that new website dedicated to a VIP indeed.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 31 January 2007: 3.56pm

'NICE ONE DICK'

WHAT KIND OF IMMATURE, CHILDISH: Prick would even think about having access to those NCEA Paper? Imsults like Nice One Dick, You Useless Sack of Poo and Shame Elf these are just childish, unprofessional insults to students whove acheived so much and worked there asses off over the past year.
Whoever wrote these childish immature insults is just a "useless sack of poo"
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 29 January 2007: 4pm

GRUMPY OLD COOT DOT COM

WITH ALL THE POLITICAL AND SOCIALLY CHARGED RANTS: Ive been making the last couple of weeks, May be YEAR ZERO - TALES FROM THE UNDERGROUND SINCE 2005 Should become WWW.GRUMPY-OLD-COOT.COM - im starting to sound like this guy i work with.
Oh yeh - Its this websites 2nd BIRTHDAY on thursday but its to be kept quiet, hey a website celebrating its happy birthday - its always possible, especially if its yours and i have a BIG Surprise and special treat coming up for you all at the end of the week to mark this special occasion.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 29 January 2007: 3.58pm

YOU RISK IT ALL

IF ANYBODY DARES SANDWICH MY CAR: and i hit it whilst pulling out of the rut YOU created then YOU will be the once having to pay for my panelbeating Fees - It teaches you responsibility not to be a self-centered arrogant fuck and park up so fucking close to my bumper and that if I hit you then its all your fault for being such a fuck and teaches you a lesson not to inconsideratly park again, that car on my street is just lucky i never hit him, otherwise the damage bill will be upon HIM!!!!.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 29 January 2007: 3.53pm

CORECTIONS AND APOLOGIES

IN THE VERY RARE OCCASION: I do make the odd error or 3, In regards to the January 10 post regarding the Corrections Minister, I should have written Corrections Minister DAMIEN O'CONNOR and NOT Rick Barker so i call upon Damien O'Connor NOTrick Barker to be put on trial as an acessory to the murder of Karl Kuchenbecker in Wainuiomata by Graham Burton. My Full apologies and 'my bad homie' go out to the Hon. Mr. Barker whom i understand was corrections minister in a previous cabinet.
So once again 'My Bad Homie' to Rick Barker.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 29 January 2007: 3.51pm

THE HEIGHT OF SUMMER

SUMMER SUCKS ASS: Although the Metservice tells a whole lot of codswallop about Wellingtons Weather. 19c outside my fucking ass more like 25 or 26c - What have the Metservice Got against Wellington? Ahh just fuck you then Liars.
But back to my point FUCK OFF SUPRE SLUTS, FUCK OFF BOYRACERS, FUCK OFF PREPPIES. Screw you Your polluting the towns, citys and streets with your vile filth and putrid dress sense. Which is prolly why i didnt even bother making the train trip to the trentham races today - Its full of these vile diseased creatures known as Preps and Poser kids
Preppie Scum FUCK OFF!!!!
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 27 January 2007: 3.26pm

PARIS HILTON IS THE GREAT SATAN

OFFICIAL PROCLAIMATION: 'ear ye, 'ear ye, 'ear ye - It is 'earby formally and officially proclaimed that PARIS HILTON IS THE GREAT SATAN - the archnemesis of civilization. She is a fraud, She didnt acheive fame through being a hollywood movie star or a famous singer - but rather a spoilt rich bitch mediawhore who is a paparazzi magnet.
Eat Shit and Die U Slutty Bitch!!! Oh may god roast your stomach in the pits of hell.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 26 January 2007: 3.20pm

C'MON KIWIS CELEBRATE YOUR NATION

WITH THE AUSSIES: Celebrating there 219th birthday - Its another 2 weeks before we celebrate our 167th birthday and quite frankly comparing with Australia Our National Day lacks patriotic spirit.
Why bother about the protests come 11 days time? Fire up your barbie crack open a few cans of Tui, Steinie or Export Gold, Fly the NZ Flag outside your home And act like a goddam Kiwi.
I can be assured ill be flying my countrys flag on February 6 as a symbol that our Nation is the greatest on earth while also celebrating our vast multiethnic and multicutural nation.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 26 January 2007: 3.16pm

JUST SAY NO....TO EXTENDED DAYLIGHT SAVING

MY LOCAL MP IS AN ASS: He has a petition out there calling for 3 extra weeks of daylight saving - Over my Dead Body I say - To Hell with it. Extra Daylight Saving will lead to the following.
- More Suicides
- More Car Crashes thus an increase in road deaths - something ironically Peter Dunne is fighting to keep low. (Car crashes will be caused by the strong sunlight on the window thus blinding any careful driver - even if your windows are cleaned frequently)
- Further health problems as peoples sleeping patterns are messed up.
If anything we should be knocking back daylight saving - Lets say between November 15 and March 10. The weather in September/October is still very Cold in some parts of New Zealand.
Further more we could just ban Daylight Saving - South Africa and Queensland dont have daylight saving and they enjoy it. Queensland and South Africa rejected Daylight saving many years ago - maybe its time for this outdated concept introduced as a coal saving measure in 1927 should be scrapped as Coal is no longer a primary source of energy in this country and hasnt been since at least the late 1950s.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 23 January 2007: 3.23pm

SLOW DRIVERS

THE NZ POLICE GET THERE PRIORITYS WRONG AGAIN: They seem to have an obsession that if your drive 3km/h over the prescribed speed limit that your an idiot, but in truth its those dumb cunts who drive UNDER the speed limit who are the biggest problem.
Oriental Parade is a Slow Driver Haven with dickfucks seldomly getting even past 40km/h, While the coppers ticket motorists for doing 51-55km/h in a 50km/h zone, the police turn a blind eye to those sick fucks who drive at under 45km/h and neglect areas that are "havens" for slow drivers - who are responsible for head-on collisions, dodgy overtaking manouvers and road rage incidents.
Of course i myself give tolorance to 'L-Platers' and when the weather is appalling but those drivers who insist on driving at 40km/h or less in perfect road conditions, sunny skies and mild temperatures and have been driving for so many years shouldnt even bother being on the road in the first place and should use public transport.
Slow Drivers should be given demerit points and steep fines rather than the seldomly issued $150 ticket for "inconsiderate driving" - if the copper even bothers to pull over a slow poke holding up a whole queue of cars blasting there horns at the prick.

The same goes for dickheads who break the speed limit by 10km/h or more. Boyracers and Slow Drivers are PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE!!!!
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 22 January 2007: 8.19pm

FRANKIE BANANARAMA SUCKS ASS

FRANKIE BANANARAMA GOT NOTHING: Threaten my country you batty boy biarch. Why should our great dear leader bow to your demands you clown. Frankie Bananarama suck ass!!!!
Your just a penis
You should be fired
Your a liar.
ha-ha, Bananarama are so 1986!!! and so is Frankie Bananarama.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 22 January 2007: 8.15pm

I HATE QUEUES

MOST OF YOU WHO KNOW ME WELL: Know I HATE Queues. Normally I am a tolorant an patient person however in todays fast paced 21st century environment of 24 hour TV, The Internet, IPods, SMS etc etc... I consider it a GREAT Dishonor that there are even queues yet alone to even be in one, I Have more important things to do rather than wait in line for something. If i see a Queue i generally back off rather than line up in it. I dont like wasting my time in lines, queues or whatever because in todays environment you quite often miss out!!!!
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 19 January 2007: 2.55pm

LILY ALLEN GO FUCK YOSELF BIARCH

RAIZ ON UP OUTTA HERE LILY ALLEN, RAIZ ON UP OUTTA HERE:
Look at dat Fool Lily Allen
Lily Allen is Slippin Man
Lilly Allen Sucks Ass
Go Fuck yoself cos you just A bitch- A Stupid annoying no-talent Chav. You cheated your way to fame only cos yo daddy is a famous english comedian. Fuck Yo, Just get the fuck outta my country and quit wasting your time Beeeatch!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 19 January 2007: 2.48pm

BIG DAY OUT SUCKS ASS

I KNOW IM GETTING TIRED OF SAYIN THIS: But the BDO Sucks Ass - Its Full of Preppie Supre Sluts, Boyracer Scum and Jocks. No Longer are the green haired, purple bearded shredded jean clad dope smoking punker treated as "honorary citizens" but rather "Freaks" By the Preppie Scum Invaders who have Killed the BDO. Why waste your time at Prepfest 06 when you can go to a Hotel Bar, drink till ya puke and act like a goddam Kiwi? (thank you tommy "the nightmare" smith - edited to make it sound more kiwi)
In my opinion The Preppie Supre Sluts, Jocks and the Boyracer Scum are the Freaks - They Invaded the Big Day Out and They KILLED The Big day out - a festival that used to promote individualism again nobody cared if you where a green haired punker or a long haired leather jacket clad hippie-biker high on Lysergic Acid until a few years ago.
Fuck the Preps - Individualism is the only way to go
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 19 January 2007: 2.46pm

MAKING THE MOST OF IT

THE FOUR DAY WEEKEND: Im off work until tomorrow night so im making the most of it - Hey after all its what you get for working a public holiday. Time and a Half plus a day in lieu, and since i worked new years and new year holiday i get not one but two days in lieu of which im using yesterday and today, Of course going anywhere is outta the question ive too much to do around home. My whip is due for its warrant next week and no better time than as to one of the tyres developing a punchure - of course it came at a good time as im on leave so i dont have the hassle of using public transport of which i only use when im out on the piss.
I was gunna take my car to Porirua to get the tyre fixed at Tonys Tyre Service but since my spare is a space saver i aint riskin life, car and limb just to get it fixed for free 10km away on a space-saver (im actually replacing the space saver later in the week) - shit i reckon space savers should be illegal cos they cause so many accidents. Ive only had to drive from my house to the ngaio BP of which is reasonably close just so i can get the punchure fixed for $20 - i know its a lot of paper, but again im not risking life and limb and car by driving out to porirua to get it done for free on a space saver.
It seems Electric Avenue is not as bad as i first anticipated. Went there friday night, They seemed to have got rid of the poser kids and have more realistic people onsite - may as well make it an alternative to Boogie Wonderlands of which is now beyond my price range.
Other things to do this week - Seek a new Job and hopefully hand in my resignation letter to my boss by weeks end, and eagerly awaiting my bond im owed from my old Newtown flat, If i dont get it then follow up action will be taken (letter, final notice and if necessary court action against my old landlord).
Might try and slip in an u/d tomorrow time permitting otherwise ill u/d later in the week, Peace out y'all.
LATE NOTE 1.04pm: I have a NEW Project up and running - the good one-man-crew at Bruvvahood Broductions are working on a new project that should be up and running by This Websites 2nd Birthday - February 1. So keep your eyes peeled.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 15 January 2007: 12.58pm

BDO IS A WASTE OF TIME

I HATE TO SAY THIS: But I reckon the Big Day Out is nothing more than a waste of time and money.
Once upon a time you could walk the venue with your hair dyed green, Goatee dyed pink and wear shredded jeans with a "fuck the mainstream" T-Shirt while smoking your buddha sticks and nobody would care, The music where bands who didnt care about money or labels - only entertaining there fans with there outstanding thoughts of individualism. The police didnt care if you where walking around tripping.
Over the last 7 years it has all changed...
If you dont wear a pink and white stripped polo shirt or wear a preppie style mohawk or wear ultra short black shorts and a low cut top - They give you a hard time. If you dye your hair green and goatee green the mainstream hassle you. The 5-0 randomly pick on you thinking you are in possession of a buddha stick or 2 (while they let the mainstream preppie crowd get away with everything - including being a drunken menace), The bands no longer care about there fans - rather making a quick $ or million and only caring about labels and commercialism by selling out to the mainstream. "just say no to individuality - follow fashion, the crowd and what everybody else does" is the new motto.
and the line-up this year - Worst Episode Ever - LILY ALLEN - FUCK THE HELL OFF FROM NEW ZEALAND BITCH, WE DONT NEED TALENTLESS CHAVS LIKE YOU HERE.
So in conclusion the BDO is really just a waste of time and a waste of money - no longer is a festival promoting individualism and peace but a festival promoting conformity, money and sex.
CURRENT MUSIC: Dead Kennedys - Terminal Preppie /td>
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Sunday 14 January 2007: 4.34pm

PREP-O-RAMA

DURGH!!: I am surrounded by millions and squillions of Preps, Hutt Sluts, Slappers, Jocks and Boy-racer scum and any other "mainstream-conformist" parasite revelling on courtaney place, sometimes i wonder if its really worth the time and effort bothering - Ah well at least Valve is Free From Diseased Parasites - Fucking oath, its full of bruvvas.
This scurge of parasites AKA Preps has been made worse over the last few days as temperatures hit the mid 20s - Its as Summer has all of a sudden hit us with a bang, even after all this freezing weather, now we can see the downer of summer - an invasion of Preps!!!
Back to the topic of Valve - I think bruvva nathan hangs out there - fuck its been like 2 or 3 months since i last saw him - handing out fliers for some heavy metal gig on Cuba mall as he always does!!!
Well....thats all for now!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 12 January 2007: 9.55pm

BUSH TO SEND 20K MORE MEN TO IRAQ

AS IF THE WAR IN IRAQ IS HOPELESSLY LOST: The Great Satan, Mabus, The 3rd Antichrist, The Biblical Antichrist or whatever as long as his Real name stands at George W. Bush has decided to send 20,000 more of his young mena nd women off to their slaughter in some war that is hopelessly lost.
And while I am traditionally a feirce critic of Jim Anderton, for once he has got it right over the Iraq Issue - the war is lost and it is "Another Vietnam". I'd like to Give Dear Leader a terrific blast of condemnation for remaining practically silent over Bush's Decision to send in more troops - By staying Silent, Aunty Helen is supporting her homie in Washington in the decision to send in troops - All this when Dear Leader was a Student Hippie Radical and a regular participant in Anti-Vietnam protests in Auckland throughout the 1960s and 70s.
In regards to the Vietnam-Iraq connection, New Zealand has learnt its lesson by not participating in a war that was bound to be a failure in the first place, Our troops came home from Vietnam humiliated and where egged, tomatoed and flourbombed by doped up longhairs, The humiliation of Vietnam taught Aotearoa a lesson, however It seems one of those "doped up longhairs" now running the country is - at least in silence - supporting an unwinnable war 35 years later.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 12 January 2007: 3.34pm

LOST FOR IDEAS

IVE A 4 DAY WEEKEND: Coming up and im fairly sure that nasty gastroenterities ive had the past week has gone. So what can i do.
I dont think ill head to boogie wonderlands again - i mean its one of those places i dont want to go back to but theres that magical lure saying "come on in, come on in.....disco stu likes disco music" - hah - i HATE Disco music.
I think Maya might be on the cards friday.......Yes i think so as well.
Ive got shitloads to do over the next couple of days, including going back to my old landlord and "raising queries" as to where my bond is (of which i am entitled to get back under the tenanacy act) I dont want to have to end up taking this poor geezer to the tenancy tribunal or small claims court, but if i have to then i have to.
Also looking for a new job while i am at it.....
Jah - I is out.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 10. January 2007: 8.27pm

NAME'N & SHAMIN'

A YOUNG FATHER LIES DEAD: Whilst the Parole Board "defends" itself from the most henious crime of allowing that Sick fuck psychopath Graeme Burton to be released on Parole for a murder he committed in 1992 - he just went out to kill again.
to add insult to injury ACC is now paying for his rehabilitation and treatment he received for "injuries sustained" as a result of his arrest of which Mr Burton clearly deserved - The deplated police done a marvellous job, Now ACC shouldnt even allow violent criminals shot by police a payout or any compensation whatsoever.
I demand that The media release the names of those bastard fucks from the Parole Board who released Mr Burton so he can go out and kill an innocent father of 2 while out on a saturday afternoons quad biking.
I also demand the resignation of the following people.
RICK BARKER Corrections Minister.
RUTH DYSON Minister for ACC and convicted drunk driver.
Maybe Mr. Barker should face a shameful show trial for complicity in the murder of the man murdered on saturday - he has the corrections portfolio and should accept FULL responsibility for his henious crime of even considering releasing Mr. Burton - and scores of other violent offenders. And Ms Dyson face a shameful show trial for misappropriation and corruption of public funds - its us john and jane taxpayer who will be funding this sick fucks rehabiliation programe.
While distancing myself from capital punishment, a first time murderer 50 years ago was hanged. Nowadays brutal barbaric bloodstained criminals running this country support a revolving door justice system that allow murderers of the worst kind parole after just 10 years. What ever happened to Life meaning exactly that - plus forced labour at gunpoint and sleep deprivation? Surely our politicians running this country deserve the latter for there crimes they have committed against the very own people they serve.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 10. January 2007: 8.12pm

SORRY NO UPDATE

SORRY ABOUT THE LACK OF U/D: The last few days - Ive been crook as with a killer-as stomach bug of which im on the tail end of now, felt sick an hour into work Monday so i had to go home and wasnt back at work till Wednesday night.
Ill endeavour to get more posts up over the coming days as i say you wont want this tomach bug im getting over, its a fucking bitch to get over.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 5 January 2007: 3.57pm

AVOIDING ORIENTAL PARADE

UNTIL YESTERDAY NIGHT: I Took the Oriental Parade route to work, However ive now shifted to going via Kent Terrance, the reason? Oriental Parade is a fucking Death Trap.
Nah seriously - It is a deathtrap - Its infested With Slow Drivers and Pull Out in front ofs, Wednesday night i had to encounter some fucktard driving at only 30km/h (oriental parade is 50km/h) and the road conditions are perfect and yesterday i had a near miss with some dickfuck who pulled out in front of me narrowly avoiding a collision, the question I ask - WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE POLICE??? too busy ticketing people for minor administration issues such as no rego or some "technical issue" such as a faulty muffler - clearly the cops are wasting there time when they could be targeting these selfish, arrogant and road-rage provoking fucks (for the record i condemn road rage) and not only ticketing them but demeriting there licenses or even possibly suspending them for a couple of months to "teach them a lesson" that its NOT OK to drive at 30km/h in a 50km zone when roading conditions are perfect AND are holding back traffic or pulling out in front of oncoming traffic.
The LTSA like to think it has launched a road safety campaign for 2006 but frankly they are targeting the same problems as every year while neglecting far more dangerous driving behavior.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 5 January 2007: 3.55pm

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