YEAR ZERO: Tales from the Underground since 2005

IS IT JUST ME

AM I THE ONLY ONE: But what pisses me off the most are drivers who DRIVE WITH THERE HEAD-LIGHTS ON IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT yes im talking about 2pm on a Saturday afternoon. Save the Lights for when the Streetlights come on Ya Dumnuts!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 30 June 2007 3.53pm

LMAO

LOOKS LIKE IM NOT THE ONLY ONE: Who wants Paris "The Great Satan" Hilton Dead. Chekkit and henjoy.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 30 June 2007 3.47pm

MORE FRIDAY FUNNIES?

HARRY POTHEAD AND THE ORDER OF THE PCP: Yes this latest installment into the Harry Potter Spoofs, is garunteed to be the best comedy of 2007 - with more laughs than Borat, Yes indeedilydoodily...
Yes the plot is - Harry Pothead, Hermine Ganja and Rueben Weedhead enter There 5th Year as University Drop Outs, Collecting the Dole and Sponging of hard Working taxpayers taxes...There archnemesis Police Constable Peter Plonker has gathered intellegence that the 3 are growing a secret underground Marijuana plantation to export to Jamaica. Fearing for there "precious little Marijuana Plants" Harry, Hermine and Rueben are introduced to PCP by there fellow dole bludging uni drop out friend Alice D. with hillarious consequences.
PC Plonker finds out about the PCP Tripping quartet and begins a hillarious campaign to crack down on them as well as there Marijuana plantation so the Four Whacked out Hippies leave Bongwarts Crossing for Brother Loves Hippie Commune many miles out of town, They are introduced to Ganjalina Rollie, a hobo dressing hippie who looks like she needs to go to rehab. together with Ms Rollie they devise a plan to outwit and outsmart PC Plonker and his authoritarian but dim-witted boss Sgt. Hamin Bacon.
Predictably this film ends with PC Plonkers now imortalised classic catchphrase - "ill get you next time you longhaired peacenik hippie freaks".
Just who will die in this latest installment, will it be from an acident or an OD? Will somebody die at all?? Not even i can tell youse that. But it sthe comedy not to be missed - Borat Meets Ali G Indahouse Meets Cheeck N Chongs up in Smoke its bound to be "the comedy of the century". Henjoy.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 29 June 2007 3.43pm

PHOTOS OF POLITICANS BANNED?

SO WHAT THOSE NUMNUTS IN PARLIAMENT ARE SYING: Is that photos like the below picture perfect kodak moment are to be banned?
Get a Life you Dumnut politicians

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 28. June 2007 7.30pm

LETS BAN JIM ANDERTON (And shove him in jail too)

THAT SICK FUCK JIM ANDERTON: Has now banned "Party Pills" or whatever you call them. In 6 months time anybody caught in possession of these pills will risk a 3 month jail term and/or a $500 fine if caught.....
Now Let me Get this straight.....
Firstly i dont use party pills - may have when i was younger but they are fucking harmless but by prohibiting them your going to get MORE People switching to shit like P than ever before, I find it fucking rediculous that Mr. Neanderton wants to rid New Zealand of the evil scurge of 'P' but at the same time wants to ban natural supplements that ASSIST IN HELPING P ADDICTS RECOVER FROM THERE ADDICTION - So in simplicity - Mr. Anderton is ENCOURAGING THE USE OF P.
Theres no doubt about it JIM ANDERTON IS A COMMON BLOODSTAINED CRIMINAL he is a sick fuck who has a sick brain and a sick way of life. We as the youth of New Zealand DEMAND Mr. Anderton be put on trial for HIGH TREASON - waging war upon ordinary New Zealanders buy threatening adults with incarceration for indulging in activities that are only affectig themsevels and so thus ARE NONE OF THE GOVERNMENTS FUCKING BUSINESS.
BURN IN HELL MR. JIM ANDERTON YOU SICK LITTLE FUCK for if there was any justice in this world, your treasonous thoughts of prohibition should have landed you behind bars for life YEARS AGO!!!! yes thats right YOU are a criminal, not a politician Beeeatch!!!
And for youse members of the public who support Mr. Andertons Ban - GO FUCK YOSELVES, GET A FUCKING LIFE. What adults put in there bodies Provided they cause no harm to others IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 28. June 2007 7.30pm

WE CAN DO IT

SMASH THOSE ALINGI FUCKERS: Its now 2-1 and we cazn only hope it becomes 3-1. Team New Zealand are determined to bring back the Americas Cup again and YEAR ZERO TALES FROM THE UNDERGROUND SINCE 2006 Is proud to back The Boys from Team New Zealand and bring home the cup again to our people, we lost the cricket to a bunch of cheating pigs who bribed the ICC so its time We get our prize on something that isnt rugby or whatever.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 27 June 2007 7.30pm

HEY GUS, IVE GOT SOMETHING TO REPORT TO YOU

THATS A BLOODY OUTRAGE: Paris 'The Great Satan' Hilton is now out of jail and as ive said - Its a Bloody Outrage, im gunna take this all the way to me Prime Minister....
Nah Seriously - Why the Fuck did The Great Satan get released from Jail and why didnt god answer our prayer that she will be released from Jail such a Nervous Shivering Wreck that she wont be able to function in society anymore, she would become a recluse, an outcast from soceity, hidden away so she cannot spread her supreme wave of evil upon the earth again?
For as long as Paris Hilton is around, The Grand Jihad against This sick and Twisted individual (Paris Hilton) shall continue, I want everybody to know that Paris Hilton is the Great Satan and she deserves nothing - spoilt rich slutty brat you die fool!!! Jihad to you!!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 27 June 2007 7.23pm

COULD THIS BE THE END OF THE K-TOWN MASSIV?

I AM AT WITS END: Ive asked my landlord to tell her kids babysitter to tone down the noise between the time she starts work and 3pm - while i sleep off a nightshift, however the message doesnt sem to be getting through. She is noisy and has no regard or consideration for the fact that I Work nightshift.
You see, i live above my landlord and when shes at work her babysitter takes care of her kids. - The walls of my house are paper thin, so thus the excessively loud TV Set, yahooing and other un-nessecary noise is easily heard. Look Its hard on me as im working 10-11 hour shifts 5 nights p/w, arriving hom,e from work at 6.40am just to get a decent 40 winks, ill mention my concerns to my land-lord tomorrow upon paying rent, if there is no improvement then i will have no choice but to find another place to stay. The K-Town Massiv could cease to exist, thus allowing the Nairnsville posse to take control of the swings at the Nairnville rec center and we cant let that happen. Over the last 6 months there have been heavy losses for control of that park - weve had 2 grazed knees, a couple of Chinese Burns and 1 or 2 Grassburns for control of the swings at the park, We cant give up, that'll be a defeatist attitude. Alternatively if the worst case scenario does occur, I am willing to sign a peace agreement with the Nairnsville posse providing Nairnville rec center and its surrounding park become 'no mands land' or a neutral zone controlled by members of the public rather having it squabbled over by 2 rival gangstaz.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 26 June 2007 7.38pm

THE GREAT SATAN 'COULD' SOON BE OUT OF JAIL

PARIS HILTON AKA THE GREAT SATAN?: Could very well be soon out of Jail. As an act of opposition i hereby ask ye to pray that she is released a nervous shivering wreck.
DEAR LORD
We hereby pray to you that Socialite Paris Hilton must serve her full 45 day jail term for her sins, For if she is released early upon good behavior, We hereby pray that she is releeased in such a nervous shivering wreck state that she will no longer be able to continue to spread her greed, sinful lust and evil upon the world especially to the youth of this world whom are the future of your eternal salvation.
Lord Hear our Prayer.
Amen
Jesus/God if you truely hate paris hilton whom has forever been denounced the great satan - the wounded serpent upon society then you will answer our prayers. Amen.
Many of you will ask - Why pray for something bad to happen? well i bet your also praying for the Death of Osama Bin Laden, Mahmoud, Amanajinabad (The Iranian President), The Hamas Leadership, George Bush and other world figures whom have brought evil upon history, we just hope Paris Hilton turns out such a nervous Shivering Wreck she wont be able to continue spreading her dieased lifestyle upon civilisation - in short, she will become a recluse as a result of a severe nervous breakdown.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 26 June 2007 7.30pm

SNOW IN K-TOWN???

WAS THAT SNOW FALLING IN KHANDALLAH LATE THIS AFTERNOON?: Around 4.30pm? I Thought it was but it turned out to be only sleet.
If it did snow id have pictures of it right up on this website, All youse living in the far north will be cringing for such 'winter wonderland' weather.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 25 June 2007 8.17pm

SAN ANDREAS ON ONE NEWS LAST NIGHT

DID ANYONE WATCH ONE-NEWS ON SUNDAY NIGHT?: And did anybody watch that article about the cops being shot at in Tauranga? if you where watching carefully you would have seen a sequence from GTA SAN ANDREAS - CJ 'Jacking' a Ballas gang members car and driving off.
Sadly there are a few Peckerheads who blame all this violence on games such as San Andreas. As you know attempting to murder ANYBODY Esp. a police officer is a sad, pathetic, and putrid act of dispicable criminal behavior but come on - Get a Grip - GTA San Andreas is R18 - 14 year olds shouldnt be playing it, yet alone touching it in the first place. Game shops should also place more responsibnility on controlling sales like for instance requesting ID From any potential purchaser so that way we can keep a minors Grubby little mits off San Andreas after all. Its irresponsible to even provide a minor with such a game, rather than banning San Andreas all together, Video Game shops should get tough on enforcing the age restrictions like shops are tough on IDs for cigarettes and beer. Its all about common-sense.
The Bottom line is - YOU CANNOT AND NEVER WILL TAKE AWAY MY SAN ANDREAS!!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 25 June 2007 8.14pm

ITS OFFICIAL

AT LEAST HALF: Of wellington citys Traffic Lights are Fucked - in other words poorly designed, timed and engineered. Common Problems that MUST be fixed include.
- Lights not staying Green Long enough.
- Lights staying red for far too long
- Red Lights NOT Changing to green at all.
- A Lane gets Priority over B Lane.
- North Lane goes rede while South Lane stays green (they suposed to be red and green at the same time so East and West traffic gets through)
Its Misleading to say that Many Wellington lights are 'trigger censored' ie. change when a car rolls up to the white line. OK A Few of them are but many of them are not, Running up to the white line and/or rolling back and forth does not work. Its all another example of Transits appalling engineering skills, in fact quite a number of transit 'engineers' actually left school in 4th form (year 9) - or at 15 years of age and have only basci secondary school education, another example of how the 'government cadet schemes' that ran right up till the late 80s meant half of transits enginners are poorly if not dangerous unqualified.
Complaining about the traffic lights to the WCC Is also a waste of time they just say "oh we'll send out the traffic management team to have a look at these lights" and they actually do shit. Complaining to transit is also a waste of time as they too, so shit to fix up any of wellingtons faulty and poorly designed lights.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 25 June 2007 7.59pm

LOWERING THE VOTING AGE

OUTSPOKEN GREEN MP: Sue Bradford has forwarded another peice of legislation that canges the face of New Zealand - Lowering the Voting age from 18 to 16.
I Have no problem with the voting age being lowered as many 16 year olds have an interest in politics already, especially youth related issues, so why not make these kids have a say in how there country is run - like the song goes "one day our generation is gunna change the nation".
However 3News Mike McRoberts quote that 16 year olds can "die for there country" is Incorrect. While a 17 year old can join the armed forces, s/he cannot be deployed into active combat situations until they turn 18.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 21 June 2007 7.30pm

DAVID BAIN FACES RETRIAL (WTF?)

THE SOLICITOR GENERAL HAS DECIDED THAT: David Bain, the man locked up for 13 years for supposidly murdering his family is to face a retrial.
Mr Bain was the sole survivor of the infamous bain family murders in June 1994 in which 5 members of Bains family where slain in a shooting spree.
To me this is a waste of time and money - David Bain is innocent of all charges, Everbody knows the Father, Robin Bain, who looked and was creepy killed his wife, 2 daughters and son because he knew he was to be cast out of the family for having an sexual relationship with his daughter. After Killing his family Robin Bain turned the Gun upon himself and dined upon a lead Breakfast. David who was 22 at the time returned home from a morning paper run and found his family dead.
I condemn the crown and the police for "jacking up" the evidence in the bain case - The "evidence" presented against bain was and remains an "orchestrated litany of lies" The police falsified the timings of key evidence to make it look like David was the killer rather than the sicko perverted father.
Also on an unrelated Topic one of the senior investigating officers of the Bain case was alleged to have been one of those officers involved in the recent 'porngate' scandal - too much edward penishands and not enough truth.
I Know how David Bain would feel at the moment but i can also share the feelings of his main supporter Joe Karam who worked so hard and tirelessly to have David Bain released for a crime he didnt commit, A Truely disappointing day for Mr Karam and Mr. Bain.
Also on a lower scale - another man who would be feeling highly disappointed in Mr. Bains retrial would be Arthur Allen Thomas who served a whole decade behind bars after wrongfully being acused of the Crewe Murders in the 1970s - that murder remains an unsolved mystery even 40 years later.
On a positive note i can only hope the jury in the pending are not bribed this time and Mr. Bain can walk free with a hefty compensation for his wrongful incarceration - something he should have been entitled to today rather than facing an uncertain future. - the Wheels of The Past moves another turn and its not a fair one.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 21 June 2007 7.28pm

SMACKING BILL COMES INTO FORCE FRIDAY (Yeeaay)

GENERATIONS OF CHILD ABUSE IN NEW ZEALAND: Comes to an end at midnight on Thursday with the last bastion of "violent discipline" coming to an end - The prohibition of smacking your kids.
In just over 24 hours The Crimes (Removal of Justification of Reasonable force for Child Discipline) Act. Will come into effect and i say its about time - in fact no - Its 30 years too late.
Of course the police will have the discretion over weather or not a smacking case will is inconsequential or so minor that it wont be dealt with - of course this happens already with the more common assaults ie. Tapping a random stranger in the street to get there attention for something.
In the 1950s The archiac Law that gave A Husband every right to "Beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb". however partners could still hit there spouses with there fists until 1995 when the Domestic Violence Act was passed. In 1990 teachers could no longer use Physical Correction to punish students, Prison wardens have been forbidden to hit prisoners since the 1960s and Employers have been prohibited to hit there staff since the 1920s.
Also if a child hit there parents in self-defence after the parent hit them, the Child risked prosecution for assault but not the parent, a double standard which in 28 hours will now be a distant memory.
So why has it taken decades to say its not OK To hit your kids? Just cos children are small and vulnerable it doesnt mean you should hit them for the slightest infractions or if they where in danger - IF YOUR CHILD WAS POSING A DANGER TO HIM/HERSELF YOU GENTLY CARRY THEM OUT OF THE WAY!! not fucking hit them. Contrary to popular myth Parents who hit there Kids DO NOT Love there children - just like partners who beat there spouses dont love them - How can you hit somebody then say you love them. Most people are hit in the streets by random strangers are often abused before and while they are being struck.
By removing S. 59 we are saying that Violence in NZ Society is no longer OK. Smacking kids teaches them that its OK For them in later life to go out and smack there classmates, and beat half to death some random stranger who eyed up there aprtner in a nightclub, beat to a bloody pulp the driver in the car behind them for tooting at them at an intersection or knock out for a 6 into unconsciousness a person win the street who was simply "obstructing there way" on a public footpath via footpath hogging.
In saying this I would like to ABSOLUTELY CONDEMN More FM Christchurch host Simon Barnett for his outspoken views supporting the right to smack kids. Mr. Barnett is a Violent thug who HATES his children and will continue to do so unless he stops thinking he has the right to beat them half to death for misbehaving. Of course the irony is that Mr. Barnett used to be a childrens show presenter (What now back in the early 90s), yet at the same time he justifys using physical force to "correct" his childrens behavior of which most of the time is probably the slightest infraction.
And Also the Familes ~~First~~ Last Organisation which supports parents right to hit there kids as part of the disciplinary process probably also still thinks its OK For a husband to hit his wife - with a stick no thicker than his thumb. again a archiac law thankfully repealed in the 1950s.
The Bottom line is - VIOLENCE IS VIOLENCE AND IT CAN NEVER EVER BE ACCEPTED OR CONSILIATED IT MUST STOP FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 20 June 2007 7.17pm

RANDOM BLABBLE

NOW THE K-TOWN MASSIV HAS SURPASSED ITS 6 MONTHS: I think it might be a good idea that we speak of it.
The K-Town massiv formed in Khandallah in December 2006 soon after my defection from the West Newtown Massiv (Formally known as The Hanson St. Massiv), And the K-Town massiv controls K-Town (Khandallah).
The K-Town Massivs allys are as follows - Johnsonville Massiv, Otari-Wilton Massiv, West Northland Posse, West Ngaio Posse, West Maidstone Posse (Upper Hutt), Waitangirua Massiv, Rongotai Massiv, Lyall Bay Posse, and Tha P-Town Krew.
NME Gangs are as follows - Hanson St/West Newtown Massiv, East Maidstone Massiv (Upper Hutt), Island Bay Posse, Riddiford St Krew, Cannons Creek Posse.
Keep an eye out 4 the Nairnville Massiv (whom are the Eastside - lead by Jazza G Whose a Nitwit) who are battlin 4 control for the swings in Nairnville rec center and park - there has already been a grassburn, A Couple of Chinese Burns, and grazed knees as a result of the battle for control of the rec center.
Biggit up 4 tha kew at K-Town massiv and keep Dose Green and Blue Culluz flowin tha streetz - RESTECP!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 19. June 2007 8pm

DEMERIT POINTS FOR DOUBLE PARKING

I DECLARE A JIHAD ON DOUBLE PARKERS: Listen up you arrogant fucks, iim sick of you dickweeds impeding traffic. Not only is it highly discourteous but its also ILLEGAL to double park.
The fines for doubel parking should be increased and 20 demerit points slapped on the drivers license, it'll teach these arrogant and discourteous little peices of fuck that there arrogance is not accepted anywhere.
Same thing goes for dickweeds who try and parallel park on busy streets, If its a busy street dont try and impede traffic- boy i wish the police and parking wardens here in wellington had Rattans so they can beat you half to death (not literally) for being the discourteous arrogant peices of fuck these dickweeds are.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 19. June 2007 7.36pm

C4 SPONSORS TERRORISM

ITS OFFICIAL: C4 Sponsors terrorism, why you may ask? i was reading through the TV Listings of todays Dominion Post and spotted 10 REASONS TO LOVE MILFs
Aloow me to educate youse all.
MILF Is an abbr. for the Moro Islamic Liberation Front - a terrorist group based in the southern phiilipines, They seek to establish an independant Islamic State across the islands of Mindanao, MILF Have been responsible for targeting westerners through a spate of bombings and kidnappings and executions of foreign tourists as well as targeting churches in the phillipines - a staunchly catholic nation. MILF Have ties to Jemaah Islamiah and The Malaysian based Ansar Al Islam both of whom have similar goals and are Al Qaida linked.
So whats next - 10 Reasons to Love Hamas, 10 Reasons to Love FARC, 10 Reasons to Love ETA, 10 Reasons to Love JI, and 10 Reasons to Love Al Qaida, Now i think its just sad.
Oh and if you eat ETA Chips youse actually eating the Basque Seperatist group whom are also known by the same initials - Think about it.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 18 June 2007 8.01pm

CHRISTIANITY 'NOT' AN OFICIAL RELIGION?

MOST NEW ZEALANDERS HAVE FORSAKEN THERE GODLY HERITAGE: And do not want Christianity as an official religion.
This is all despite that Dickweed Brian Tamaki denouncing our modern govt for "religious treason" and "forsaking our heritage and our regional denomination".
While i regard Brian Tamaki as a sadistic fucktard, i do see his logic in what he is saying - thats irrespective of my thoughts towards him and his homophobic cult based upon the principles of a talibanised state.
New Zealand is actually a 'Christian Nation' - Missionaries Thomas Kendall, Samuel Marsden and the likes introduced Christianity to New Zealand as early as 1810. Maori embraced Christianity as a religion of hope and rejected there 'pagan rituals of the south seas' ie. Volcanos, Christainity became a major influence upon New Zealand in the 1820s and 1830s, Following the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi and the arrival of new settlers many more Christian denomonations popped up - Roman Catholicism with the arrival of Irish settlers, Lutheranism with the arrival of scandanavian immigrants and in the 1920s a new Chritian denomination spawned out of Maori - Tahupotiki Wiremu Ratana foundered the Ratana denomination of which was originally - and remains to this day - a major part of Maori Christianity.
Of course we must not also forget other major religions In New Zealand - over the years hinduism, buddhism, hare krishna and islam even Jedi have all made an apperance and have been warmly welcomed by our generous people, but with so many New Zealanders abandoning there Christian Heritage and forsaking there own principals im sure god will like to punish this country for forsaking its Christian Heritage and drifting towards a 'godless atheistic path'. Weve had so many floods, storms and other bad stuff over the years, maybe god is punishing this country.
Im sure people like Thomas Kendall, Samuel Marsden, Mother Suzanne Aubert, and Ratana will be turning in there graves if they found out the state of godlessness this country practices today.
And with NZ Being part of polynesia - The "Cradle of Christianity" in the world why should we forsake our traditions that have entrenched our region for centurys - Countrys like Samoa are virtually 100% Christian and most of these people are staunch and conservative Church goers.
In saying this - maybe its time i should rediscover my Christainity past and reconnect it with the future. Amen!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 18 June 2007 7.49pm

MORE MADNESS FROM BANANARAMA

FIRST HE KICKS OUT OUR AMBASSADOR TO FIJI: Now he detains then expells a Kiwi Civilian - a journalist for fairfax media. For what? Just because that Floral Hat wearing gaylord Fijian PM Frankie Bananarama holds a grudge against our proud country, doesnt mean he can take it out on a civilian.
Come on Dear Leader, send in our military to overthrow Bananarama and his cronies of gaylords and batty boy dick-suckers, first, we send the Te Kaha and Te Mana to within range of Fiji, if Bananarama and his bum chums dont back down then we fire several missiles from the frigates to "cripple main and disable the fijian military regime" after a few days they dont back down, NZ Sends her troops in to forcibly remove Bananarama and his she-men from power and restore civilian rule. Aunty Helen should use not just any tactical warfare but a Shock and Awe campaign designed to render the fijian regime worthless and crippled, while at the same time the RNZAF Can supply aid and basic supplys to civilians - hey where hear to liberate the Fijians from a brutal dictator who takes Robert Mugaybe up the ass every night (and so a little bord tells me Mr. Mugaybe and Mr. Bananarama are in plans for a civil union) and being a concerned neighbor NZ Should take action if they are duely concerned with the long suffering people of Fiji.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 15 June 2007 4.01pm

IM NOW A SECLUSE

ITS OFFICIAL: I think ill stop going into town for the remainder of the year as of Saturday, I NEED (yes thats right NEED) to start saving money - rather than spending it all on Petrol, Petrol, Work Dinners etc etc...For the price of a bottle of heineken at Maya i can buy a 6-pack at my work - worth the effort huh. Which begs the question Where exactly do i work? - Oh no i am not at liberty to divulge such information online, thats classified information. I guess you can say that every aspect of my job is classified. But the term 'loss prevention officer' is probably the only description i can really say.
At least if i want to treat myself i can head to MBBK - just 2 minutes walk from my house - A Family orientated bar yeeeay.
Speaking of families - My sister is back in the country for a week. And today my grandmother from invercargill arrived, so im prolly iff to my uncles in wilton tomorrow to catch up - then to my dads in u/hutt on saturday. My uncles house is like only 10 minutes from my house so add the convenience.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 14 June 2007 8.08pm

FIJI IS THE ENEMY

ITS OFFICIAL: Fiji is now an Enemy of The DOminion of New Zealand - That Gaylord Frankie Bananarama expels our Ambassador to Fiji provoking an outrage from, Dear Leader and Foreign leader Uncle Luigi.
So why dont we expel the Fijian ambassador to New Zealand - then send our army into Fiji and forcibly overthrow the Bananarama regime - a regime that has no respect for its peoples human and civil rights, A Regime that treasonously took power through a coup rather than democratic process, a regime that is based on arrogance and the Pink Pulka dot dress wearing, Yellow Shoes and White socks Clad with a woven basket with purple flower bearing Leader only serving his own interests rather than his own peoples.
Yeh thats right - Frankie Bananarama idolises The Village People, He listens to Abba and that "Its raining Men" song, hes playing croquet and his dog is a pekingese.
Ive said it before and ive said it again - Frankie Bananrama should get a civil union with his Gay boyfriend Robert Mugaybe.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 14 June 2007 8pm

PARIS HILTON TO "CHANGE" HER WAYS AFTER JAIL

THE FUNNIEST THING IVE HEARD ALL DAY: But not ha-ha funny.
Like Paris Hilton will change her ways upon release from jail, In fact she will still be a dirty slut who cheated her way to fame, a spoilt rich brat who would sleep with any guy she sees and dump him the next morning, She will still be The Great Satan and until she disappears from the scene (along with her friends Nicole "the middle satan" Bitchie, Linsday "the little satan" Lohan and Misha "the tiny satan" barton) supposidly in a nervous shivering wreck state i will continue to wage a state of jihad against this spoilt slutty bitch whom i will forever denounce as "The Great Satan and the wounded serpant of civilisation".

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 13 June 2007 7.33pm

WAITAKERIE SMOKERS - BEWARE

SMOKERS IN WAITAKERIE CITY: Are to receive $400 fines for dropping there cigarette butts in the street.
and to you smokers who complain - Poor Wee diddicums, your lethal habits are a sign of your arrogance, polluting the fresh clean air that we 75% of NZ who abstain from tobacco breathe, that is why i wage jihad upon you smokers.
and quit yer whinging about a $400 fine, hey if we refuse to tip out our booze in a designated liquor ban area we can be taken to court for it, so whats the difference? hey at least us beer guzzlers dont pollute the air with highly toxic alakoids from the Nictonia plant.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 12 June 2007 7.49pm

TONIGHT ON CAMPBELL LIVE

THE TWEEN CULTURE: Now i just found it absolutely disturbing to watch about the 'Tween Culture' on tonights campbell live.
We have too many Gary Glitters out there and this tween culture is just in my opinion sick.
Hell when I was 8 and there was any of this 'tween culture' (of which there wasnt in 1988) around the 'tween' would have been beaten up with a baseball bat by the police, these days its a different story.
Hell its just soft child porn - its absolutely sick, twisted and brutal and it must stop today.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 11 June 2007 7.49pm

A TRIBUTE TO AUGIE AUER

IT IS SAD NEWS TO HEAR THAT: The old 3News weather presenter Augie AUer has passed away suddenly on his 67th birthday and 35th wedding anniversary.
He always put the sunshine into the stormy days around the country with his humouours take of the weather ('a ditto day').
Condolances to his family - he will be sadly missed.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 11 June 2007 7.47pm

SCHOOL TUCK SHOPS NOW SUBJECTED TO PROHIBITION

THOSE LONGHAIRED HIPPIE FREAKS: From the greens have now banned the classic kiwi pie and chips from lunchbox menus. Insanity.
However McDonalds CONTINUE To sponsor childhood sport.
I smell the double standards here - And i find it fucking rediculous that McDonalds still continue to sponsor childhood sports programs yet the pie and chips from the school tuckshops are banned.
You may as well geta tobacco company to sponsor childrens sports - oh wait thats illegal innit. why aint McDonalds Sponsorship?

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 11 June 2007 7.44pm

GIVE WAY MEANS THAT - END OF FUCKING STORY

WHAT PART OF GIVE WAY DONT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND: On my way into work tonight, Some Dickhead with the car rego BMR .... Negligently and arrogantly ignored a give way sign as i was driving past him, i sounded my horn and flashed my lights to warn him i was coming but he kept going with all good fortune I missed him by around 90cm he sped away when i realised i was about to collide with him. And too this driver of this offending vehicle - Listen up Fucknuts consider this your lucky day dickweed.
Further up the road this SAME Fucknut ran a set of red lights just after they changed from orange to red - WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU DRINKING? A METHYLATED SPIRITS, BRAKE FLUID AND JANOLA COCKTAIL OR SOMETHING?? Dickhead!!!!
Lets bear in mind that HAD i crashed into this dickweed HE would be receiving a bill from my panelbeater within 48 hours with the total damages - yes thats right HE Would be paying for the damages as HE was held responsible for any accident by neglecting to stop at a give way sign, and depending on how angry i would have been over the next 24 hours i could also file criminal proceedings against this dickhead - ill just ask the piggies to file a careless driving charge - this in addition to a small claims case to recouperate any liabilities had this fucknut refused to pay the damage bill.
Its all about teaching people responsibility - If i pulled out in front of somebody (which is not bloody likely) it would be MY Bad, id own up and pay any damages and offer a sincere apology to the other party. However if somebody pulls out in front of me and crashe sinto my car - its MY property thats damaged so thus the offending parties will have to pay for the damage. Its not at all about money its about teaching people responsibility - something many people dont even have the faintest sign of in this day in age.
Thankfully no accident occured but had it - then this dickweed would be paying for any damages and if he refused? well lets see what the courts would have had to say about that.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 11 June 2007 7.40pm

PARIS HILTON RELEASED FROM JAIL (THEN TAKEN BACK THERE)

Paris Hilton Acting like a 4 year old - Poor Wee Diddums

WAS IT A MISTAKE OR A BRIBE: One Day Paris Hilton is released From Jail upon "medical conditions" but the next the California Prison authorities realise that theyve made a mistake and send the Great Satan Back to jail.
Poor Wee Diddicums:
Pollycock they released her upon "medical conditions" - She probably gave the prison guard a blowjob then later claimed she was crying and crying so they felt sorry for this spoilt bitch and released her. Why should she receive preferential treatment just cos her grandaddy owns a series of hotels? while a low-income earner has to serve there full sentance? Shes a spoilt rich brat, the great satan, she deserves a jihad to be waged upon her.
However Friday The Great Satanwas ordered back into jail and serve out her time. Here she is crying and wailing and shouting a temper tantrum - acting like a little 4 year old in general "mummy, mummy i dont want to go" - Poor Wee Diddums you do the crime youse gotta do the time Biatch!!
Im praying to christ that when Paris Hilton is released from Jail, she will be released a much more nervous shivering wreck than she was on friday, so bad she would have to be committed to the nuthouse for the rest of her days - the simple life it aint.
Designer Handbags - $5500, Designer Clothes - $2500, Designer Oversized Sunglasses - $1000, The Look on the Great Satans Face has she heads back inside the slammer - Priceless.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 9. June 2007 4.45pm

AND I WANT TO PLAY THE GAME WITH YOUSE

HAHAHA: Check out This Great Mocking of The Great Satan - hahaha so funny, and you can play the game tho, watch out iot gets tricky when youse kill her dog.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 7 June 2007 7.28pm

CARVELL A FREE MAN (YEEHAAAA)

FINALLY - THE COURTS HAVE SHOWN SOME COMMONSENSE: And let Greg Carvell, The Auckland gun-shop owner who shot a P-Fuelled machete armed intruder in his gun-shop last year walk free.
I Highly appreciate the efforts of the Justices of the Peaces who convinced the courts that "not enough evidence exists" to procescute Mr. Carvell who exised his basic right to self defence, Of course the below extract is of Section 48 of the Crimes Act. 1961.
'Everyone is justified in using, in defence of himself or another, such force as, in the circumstances as he believes them to be, it is reasonable to use'.
If our politicians and police had actually STUDIED the crimes Act more carefully then the Police wouldnt have bothered proesecuting Mr. Carvell in the first place. Despite the fact that Mr. Carvell is a free man i still regard the polices decision to actually bother prosecuting this man An Act of Treason, However as The case has been put to rest i will no longer call for Police or Politicians to face a treason trial for waging war on there own people.
Also it seems the JPs realised that to committ mr. Carvell to trial would have been an Act of High Treason in itself. After all Governments who wage war upon there own people are "Outlaw Regimes" and there countrys "Rouge States" its highly rewarding owing to the outcome of Mr. Carvells situation that New Zealand hasnt fallen into the category of a "rouge state" - a Criminal entity bent at waging war upon its own people.
A Huige RESTECP Goes to the JPS in this case and i wish Mr. Carvell and his family all the best in their future endeavors.
Da ~~Bell~~ End
THE GREG CARVELL CASE HAS BEEN A BRUVVAHOOD BRODUCTIONS FEATURE PRESENTATION

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 7 June 2007 7.19pm

WANTED: POLITICIANS, POLICE & PROSECUTION FOR HIGH TREASON

FROM NZ HERALD: The man who shot an intruder threatening him at his south Auckland gunshop faces a depositions hearing today on a gun possession charge.
Greg Carvell is accused of with possessing a firearm without lawful, proper or sufficient purpose. The hearing is being held in Auckland District Court.
Carvell shot Ricky James Beckham in the stomach with a .45 calibre revolver when Beckham entered Carvell's south Auckland gunshop in July, threatened staff with a machete and demanded guns.
The police decision several months...(SNIP)
Why the HELL is this man even being prosecuted. IT IS OUR BASIC DEMOCRATIC AND HUMAN RIGHT TO DEFEND OURSELVES WITH WHATEVER FORCE IS DEEMED REASONABLE ENOUGH!!! (refer to Section 48 of the Crimes Act). Tomorrow Mr. Carvell awaits the decision from The ~~Auckland District Court~~ oops i mean a band of Criminal Thugs onto weather he will stand trial for the "crime" of defending himself.
The Police are not interested in responding to 111 calls of armed intruders these days, they ar emore into dishing out tickets to those driving 3-4km/h over the speed limit. The Government does not care about your safety - they disarm you and allow you to BECOME the victim of crime and if you do fight back YOU are the one that gets charged, The Criminal is considered the Victim.
Let it be know that by denying the basic human right of self defence to somebody is a CRIMINAL ACT in itself - An Act of HIGH TREASON (Waging war on the citizens of your own country). Id like Everybody to know that By Forcing Mr. Carvell to go to Trial is An Act of Treason by which war is being waged by the Government on its own citizens and IF THE GOVERNMENT WANT TO WAGE WAR ON ITS OWN CITIZENS - THEN IT HAS CERTAINLY GOT IT. Go Ahead - Fire the first shots dickweeds.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 6 June 2007 7.17pm

DEATH TO ALL HUTT SLUTS

HUTT SLUTS ARE THE GREAT PESTILENCE: Upon society, they spread there filthy diseased lifestyle onto normal people and make them (subliminally) become 'one of them'. Hutt SLuts are the scum of the earth.
Lets pass a law that gives people the right to stone hutt sluts and boy-racer scum to death - With bricks and rock of course, or tie them to the back of a 4x4 and drive them around westpac stadium till they expire or tie them to a rugby post and shoot them..the world is better off without these preppie diseased scumbags!!! The War on Preps will go on until The Preppie/Popular culture is extinct!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Tuesday 5 June 2007 7.50pm

MCJIHADS U/D A-COMETH

UPDATE ALERT: An End of Week McJihads overhaul is expected So Keep your eyes peeled
Restecp

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 4 June 2007 7.51pm

COUNTING DOWN....CELEBRATIN IT UP

IN A FEW HOURS: The Great Satan AKA Paris Hilton will begin her 45 day jail sentance, sadly enough this dickheads at the Californian Correctional Agency have cut her sentance to 23 days on "good behavior" reasons.
She must have given The Prison and Justice Officials a Blowjob or something.
But look at it this way, What did Paris Hilton do to become famous? She didnt star in any major blockbuster film or Hit TV Show, She cheated her way to fame just because grandaddy owns a series of Hotel Chains of which ive started boycotting for the reasons of this mans satanic whorish Granddaughter. She stole her way to fame and stole the very right of 'superstardo' of REAL LIFE Celebs who struggled to make even a buck from films which they dont even know will make or break at the Box Office - Think of it this way - Madonna Arrived in New York from LA In the late 70s with only $45 in her pocket now 30 years later shes a multimillionare singer who has gained alot of respect from people of all ages and shows no sign of slowing down. Omar Shariff - Arab-American Western film star going strong since the 1950s and showing no sign of slowing down - he struggled in his youth - as did jim carrey - but what did paris hilton do to acheive fame - NOTHING, She mooched her way to fame doing nothing other than knobbing her ex in front of an internet webcam - who gives a shit.
As youse know ive declared a Jihad on Paris Hilton and hope she rots in hell - yet alone I Hope and pray she gets such a hard time in jail her life will be a nervous shivering wreck when she is released.
ROT IN HELL PARIS HILTON YOU DIRTY SLUTTY BITCH!!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 4 June 2007 7.51pm

TV3 HAS A SERIOSU TIME KEEPING PROBLEM

I DONT USUALLY POST ON A SUNDAY BUT WHY NOT: The topic is fairly obvious - TV3 Has a MAJOR Time Keeping Problem.
Programs frequently run late (3-4 minutes) and this always happens during Prime Time and During the Weekends, Is this anyway to win an audience share? No, Delaying Shows by as much as possible just prooves the networks unreliability and non-committment to its viewers.
Think of it this way - if i was an employer and TV3 Kept on delaying its shows by as much as possible, the summary disciplinary process will prevail (1st, 2nd, 3rd and final warnings plus dismissal if it doesnt show any improvement after 6 months)We expect shows to run on time all the time and there excuse of "oh i was waiting for the other TV Channel to finish its shows" is just pathetic, YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE RIVALS NOT GANG UP TO PISS OFF AND PUT OFF YOUR OWN VEIWERS.
I Expect TV3 if they are reading this to improve your time-keeping schedule and NOT delay programs in the future - this includes NO PROMOS Before the start of a TV Show (esp. ones that last too long), In fact dont have LONG Promos full stop. If you continue your unreliable time keeping record then another rant plus a long written letter will be sent to you outlining on how pised off us TV Veiwers get.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Sunday 4 June 2007 8.01pm

A HARRY POTHEAD THEME PARK? ITS A REALITY

IN REGARSD TO THAT HARRY POTTER THEME PARK: Ive come up with an even crazier Idea but it can become a reality.
How bout a Harry Pothead theme park? Yeeup based all the way up in the Cannabis infested Bay Of Plenty or alternatively down in the Kiwi Hippie Capital Motueka - There will be rides inclusing the 'mind bender' where an LSD Trip is simulated and the good thing is youll be on a REALISTIC LSD Trip without having taken LSD for hours after the ride.
Harry Pothead, Hermine Ganja and Rueben Weedly characters will be handing out free joints and blocks of hashish to people But beware of the Main Villain Police Constable Plonker coming after anyone in possession of the healing herb with his baton.
Dont worry about Security Guards or Bouncers - everybody would be too peaceful and so thus there wont be any trouble, there wont be any need for security services cos everybody will be too stoned to fight in fact they wont be fighting at all, they'll all be giggling and rolling over the florr in fitrs of laughter when they hear the word "kitchen services" on the local TV
Get to see a replica of Bongwarts Crossing with its Hash Houses, REAL Marijuana plants growing, the Local WINZ is crowded with dope smoking bums too lazy to get jobs, and Hippie potheads running free in the street without the fear of the 5-0 to harrass them - except maybe PC Plonker.
If youse getythe munchies there is a 'Tea Kiosk' where all thge food is laced with The Peace Herb - Hash Cookies, Hash Cake, Bhanga (pot tea), Milkshakes laced with cannabis oil.
The Gift Shop is where you go to buy your soveniers including Bongs, Hash Pipes, Bags of Cannabis and Trips of LSD - all reaonably priced. Open only 5 hours a week - cos the gift shop people only feel like working when they want - there too busy gettin high and veging out in front of the TV Watching unpredictable re-runs of 1990s american sitcoms on Prime Weekday afternoons.
The Harry Pothead theme park will be worth a visit - and it can be made a reality. Just tell the government "end prohibition now you bunch of sickening muthafucking biarches" and they will, fucking hell all this money going towards Kiwisaver can go into government funding for this stoner theme park, i know the greens will prolly fund it. ha-ha :-)

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 2. June 2007 4.47pm

FRIDAY FUNNIES

THE LATEST INSTALLMENT IN THE HARRY POTHEAD TRILOGY: Release Date: July 27 2007. Classic Comedy at its best - Ill tell youse more later

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 1 June 2007 4.15pm

RANT OF THE WEEK - STUPID HUTT SLUTS

HUTT SLUTS ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH: They Get eveything they want, they get away with everything and are damaging the moral fabric of society with there sickening immoral standard of dress, just take a look at Courtaney Place on Fri/Sat nights, youse can always tell a Hutt Slut - slutty clothing, inbred nasal hutt accents (cool is proun. Kewl) and the ability to pick up any guy they want, shag them and dump them the next morning. Theyre often commonly associated with Boy-racers (another pestilence) and are spoilt preppie rich kids. Enemys with Rockers/Hippies/Goths and punkers.
They say that Bird flu is a major pestilence - yeh OK but Hutt SLuts are more of an immediate Threat and i call for "all out war on all fronts" against these spoilt bitches and there boy-racer scum boyfriends who pollute inner city wellington with there filth and immorality.
Im saying this an an Expat Upper Hutter myself - in fact i rejoice i no longer live in that shithole (Upper hutt of course)
Jihad to Hutt Sluts - Death be to them!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 1 June 2007 2.58pm

ANOTHER MERCURY ENERGY RANT

MORE RANTINGS AND RAVINGS ABOUT MERCURY ENERGY: They are cruel heartless and cold-blooded killers. And i urge a boycott of all there services. Genesis on the other hand have a heart and if somebody has a medical condition where an oxygen machine has to be used 24/7 - they take it into account, they dont cut your power if your behind in the bills - hey a sickness/invalids benefit aint gunna cover your power costs innit? So hats off to Genesis.
And River Power CEO Doug Heffernan comments are completely absured and misleading, Mr. Heffernan's company, who owns Mercury Energy should have a heart, show some compassion, Hey after all Mercury is an SOE so the government also have some blame in the death of Mrs Muliaga.
NOTE: A Couple of mates of mine have asked me "you aint related to that river power guy are you?" HELL NO!!! Just cos we have the same surname doesnt mean im related to this cold-hearted individual. Its like saying that Jason Burton** A New Plymouth Lawyer is related to multiple Murderer Graham Burton or Dennis Clark a Builder of Oamaru is related to Prime Minister Helen Clark** - Just cos they have the same surnames dont mean theyre related.
** - Purely coincidental of course and my bad for any inconvenience caused.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 1 June 2007 2.55pm

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