YEAR ZERO: Tales from the Underground since 2005

GO SHOVE THIS IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT

ITS QUEENS BIRTHDAY THIS WEEKEND: And i would like to give out my personal views on the Monarchy.

Queen Elizabeth and her Royal WIndsor family can just go shove a subway turkey breast up there asses. The British Monarchy is just a fucking joke, It has no relevance to New Zealand anymore..WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE ROYAL FAMILY AND THERE SAD AND PATHETIC LIVES, The Queen is just a fucking Butt Ugly Asshole, Prince Charles looks like a Monkey wasted on Quaaludes, Prince William and Harry are sad and pathetic losers...oh yeh and Ktae Middleton and Chelsa Davy are sluts, dirty pathetic little slappers, fuck i hate them all.

So just why the fuck does this country observe a holiday to these wankers? I Have no idea but The UK Monarchy is just a fucking joke.

Stefan nonsense NZ is an independant country, This country has been controlled by the British for nearly 170 years, 61 of them as a Puppet State of the British, Australia has been a puppet state opf the pommys for 66 years, Canada 76 years and if Jan Smuts won the 1948 South African General Election there is no doubt south africa will be too a puppet state of the pommys since 1931.

And fuck these tea swilling crumpet munchers putting restrictions on "commonwealth member nations" people wanting to study in england or wanting there OE, While britain eats away the kiwi tradition of an OE, Our govt. sits round on its lazy ass doing jack-shit going dumpteedoo dumpteday, Hell if i was Comrade Helen i would have declared this country a republic by now.

And to echo the words of Comrade Helen - Why should New Zealand be controlled by a royal family that live 12000 miles away and have little if any relevance to a modern-day New Zealand?

I demand That New Zealand sever all ties with the British Crown, This is OUR Nation, OUR-Tearoa Not the Pommys, I Demand a republic for Aotearoa New Zealand and demand one by 2012, but first gradually sever all links with the british crown to show these snobby cunts what we are as a nation - free and independant not a puppet regime of the British. Hell the Aussies are planning a republic by 2010 New Zealand should follow the lead of our neighbor and tell the royal family to "fuck off and leave us alone".

BTW - I Strongly believe The Queen (and prince phillip) ordered the MI5 to liquidate Princess Diana as i know that the Queen believed she was an "embarrassment" towards the royal family

This is not an Anti-British rant, The British people can be thankful for a lot of things - Kick Ass Beer, Kick Ass Acid Rock groups from the '60s (Cream, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, The Who and the Jimi Hendrix Exp. (despite hendrix being born in the USA)) This is an Anti-Monarchy rant as us people in New Zealand believe that The Queen has no relevance to this country whatsoever.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 31. May 2008 4.13pm

THE RISE AND FALL (AND RISE) OF CHRIS ZERO

HERES SOME FUNNY STUFF: Youd prolly didnt know id been up to.
- In high school Me and my homies used to go "roof rackling" (thats chucking stones on rooves) and "letterbox banging" (thats throwing stones at peoples letteroxes, hell i even hiffed stones at my old principals letterbox. Also one night back in 1995 (or was it 94 i cannotr remember) i made a prank call to my principal (from a payphone) I was prentending to be a chinese man just randomly talking to people, Lucky he never found out who it was...aint that right Mr. Robb...hahaha...Man i was an urban terror in my teenage years. Ha i remember hiffing stones on a bus stop roof and somebody saw us shiw you should see how fast we ran after that...never went "roof rackling" again...and that was nearly a decade and a half ago.
- I always wanted to start a band and i came dangerously close to doing so....I Played the Guitar and wanted to get a band together...Think QOTSA cross Kiss and Early Pink Floyd...I wanted to be the next eric clapton but too much whacky baccy and lack of motivation and the fact i had NO Money (hey those $150 student allowances from WINZ is Sweet fuck all innit?) to rent a rehersal space meant my dreams of becoming the next hendrix or clapton became just a pipe dream.
There...told you stuff you didnt know about your master.....Peace.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 31. May 2008 4pm

TIME TO RAM THOSE TRAFFIC LIGHT BOXES OVER

THERE ARE FAR TOO MANY FUCKED UP TRAFFIC LIGHTS IN WELLINGTON: Hell i mean this - The southbound lane goes green before the Northbound lane EVEN WHEN THERE NO TURNING TRAFFIC. I never saw this in Queensland 2 weeks ago why are wellingtons lights so fucked up??? I mean how fucked is this?? I mean what do you fucktards from the City council do about it?!!! JACKSHIT, Theres no point in calling the council cos they dont do shit, Theres prolly about 4-5 books of complaints about traffic lights in wellington - BY ME PERSONALLY. Its time we ram these traffic light boxes over and beat these traffic light engineers to a pulp. Replace these lights with roundabouts any bloody day, The only problem with roundabouts is that theres too many honkers, i mean the car behind you honking when you cant move, Time to give them "Da Bash" i say, Hey theres a petition out there to re-introduce a parents right to physically punish there naughty children, why not motorists have the right to physically punish bad drivers - Whats the diference between punishing naughty kids and bad drivers? If you come from u/hutt you know that motorists out there get offended by the sound of ones horn and im no exception.
I Love being Angry.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 28 may 2008 11.51pm

KIWI DRIVERS ARE DICKHEADS

AFTER SPENDING NEARLY A WEEK IN AUSSIE: And observing there driving behavior - It Seems New Zealanders take the cake regarding safe driving.
What im saying At the risk of being labelled a traitor - as a New Zealand based New Zealander is that Aussie Drivers are far better Drivers than us New Zealanders.
In Short New Zealand drivers are just assholes heres why -
- Slow Drivers Are overlooked by the Police, The penaltys for driving too slow are too lenient in otherwords slow drivers get away with there criminal and negligent behavior.
- Kiwi drivers dont bother using there indicators, most of the time the reason for not indicating is out of our notion of shear arrogance.
- Honking at the car in front of them while giving way to traffic coming from the right - Hey if its unsafe to move why bother honking?? Dont you dickhead honkers realise you risk getting the bash from the driver your honking at - most kiwis (including myself) regard the use of your horn in that situation as an offence ONLY Sound your horn to warn somebody pulling out in front of you/about to cut you off or to warn a slow driver to "Speed up or move it dickhead".
- Kiwi Drivers dont look where the fuck there going and pull out in front of on-coming traffic,. again this has the potential to cause either A-) a serious accident or B-) somebody geeting there head smacked in by an angry driver or C-) Both. - Bad Traffic lights, and i mean bad, so bad i think they have some SERIOUS Faults in them, there red for the time it takes to knit 3 tea coseys and when they are green they only allow 2-3 cars in at a time max. Also Northbound lights go green some 20-30 seconds before a southbound when ther eis no turning traffic - THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO GO GREEN AT THE SAME TIME, its no wonder people run the red lights over here.
All of the above have the potential to cause a VERY SERIOUS Road rage incident and its only a matter of time before somebody is going to be killed in one of these ever increasing incidents of road rage, sadly New Zealand law, unlike Australian, does not regard "menacing driving" as an offence and road rage charges are generally only prosecuted under other offences committed during road rage such as common or aggravated Assault, Wilful Damage etc...not these PLUS menacing driving of which in australia carries up to 2 years imprisonment and/or fines of up to $5000.
I saw none of the above in Queensland, Drivers are very patient, orderly and law-abiding unlike here.
Arrogance Will only get you arrogance back, Unless we change our arrogant attitudes then road rage will increase in this country resulting in only a matter of time - Death and a murder charge for the perpetrator.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 24 May 2008 12.51pm

TAX CUT??? WHAT TAX CUT???

WHAT TAX CUT: Dr. Cullen has promised id get between an extra $12-$16 p/w in pocket from October 1. I got something to say to that STEFAN FUCKING NONSENSE Us folk having to repay student loans will end up with only an extra $3 p/w. Wouldnt it have been better to scrap the student loan scam - a vicious and cowardly act of government sponsored fraud ironically introduced by Labour in the 1980s - and wipe all existing debts for students and reintroduce a reasonable and universal student allowance for all students?? Plus our common bloodstained criminal should compensate all students they have defrauded over the past 20 years.
This is why im choosing not to vote this election, there is no political party that represents my political view out there, but rather a parliament full of NWO Criminals bent on detroying the nation and its very existance.
Labours Last ever Budget is another Sham Budget. In fact its The "Budget from Hell".
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 22 May 2008 3.30pm

BACK AT HOME

ALO FOLKS: I is now back home in New Zealand after a 4 day holiday in Queensland, I do suggest you check it out.
You can lick Here for some photos of this trip, ill be adding mor ehopefully over the next couple of days, i trust youse all enjoyed the video of the plane.
If your in surfers the following places/activities are MANDATORY and if you dont do them...well its 30 days in the cooler - that is a trip to tasmania in the middle of winter.
- THE SURF CLUB: $2 drinks and shit, your only literally a stones throw from the beach, watch drunken aussies humiliate themselves on a saturday night.
- SURFERS TAVERN: Saturday night at this place was pimpin - with aussies aged under 30, managed a few beers with a couple of sydneysiders and there alice springs friend also on a 4 day pub crawl, place is pimpin with aussie yarrayarra as well, there is a band on from 10pm.
- O'MALLEYS IRISH BAR: Located a minutes walk up the road, a bit of action there on Sunday night. These extremely drunk scottish guys had a blow up doll on them and where annoying all the patrons with it, i told these guys to "fuck the hell off i dont want your gayass toy bitch"...not long afterwards, the female bouncer a fair haired woman in her late 30s confiscates these scottish guys "toy"...then just a minute later the action comes along...One of these scotsman snatches the blow up doll from this bouncer and they are asked to leave, they refuse and start to hassle the bouncer and the male barman who quickly use "reasonable force" to remove these guys but they wont leave, all i could hear where these scottish accents shouting and screaming "dewnt tooch meh, dewnt tooch meh", the doll was confiscated again then the scotsmans mate got it back only for it to be re-confiscated by the bouncer amidst the scuffle, very soon the Queensland Police show up and arrest 3 of these scotsman still drunkenly shouting "sheh tooched meh, sheh karnt dew thart" the 3x scotsman where taken away by the police while there mate who was not involved in the scuffle was kicked out by the bouncer - No doubt these scotsman spent the night drying out in the cells and also no doubt that these drunken dickheads are no longer welcome back into the Commonwealth of Australia (my assumptions are that they where placed onto the first plane outta brisbane for Edinburgh monday). It was also the same night a guy was killed by bouncers not far away at Fishermans wharf - wherever the hell that is.
- PANCAKE PALACE: Its very rare for a restaurant to serve just pancakes on there menu and rarer in New Zealand but worth a good brunch is at the Pancake palace which was only a minutes walk from the hotel.
- 1c POKIES: There 2c back in NZ but for $4 you get 400 credits - you have to pay double for that in NZ plus there are no warning systems on the gaming machines warning you of "harmful gambling".
And also behold the Biggest Mystery of them all - Why do Australians Call "Burger King" "Hungry Jacks"????? that is something even im trynna figure out even today back home in New Zealand.....
I can assur eyou that im already got plans underway to head back there later in the year and this time it will be for a week rather than 4 days. Ive misjudged Australia and Queensland as a whole and have learnt to never judge a book by its colour.
No Mae, Haere Mai...Welcome Home to New Zealand
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 21 May 2008 3.15pm NZST

SOME VIDEO

COS GEOCITIES KEEPS FUCKING UP THE PICTURE LOADING PAGE: Ive added some video of my trip - Its just a video recorded at 38000ft above the tasman....hope youse enjoy it

Peace
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 17 May 2008 11.43am AEST

THE GREAT AUSSIE ROAD TRIP

WAD^ MAH NIGGAZ: I 'Ave hadded a travel diary/blog or whatever what not of the Great Aussie Road Trip I insist you read it - ill be adding pics up later today.
Peace
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Saturday 17 May 2008 11.43am AEST

WELL IM HERE (THERE)

I AM NOW IN SURFERS: After a gruelling weary eyed journey, up at 3am NZST Off to the airport at 3.45am, on the plane at 5.45am take off at 6am arive in brisbane 9.30am, the the train to surfers this that blah blah blah.....
Good to see that the flight over was OK Just a few minor bumps here and there, those A320s are bloody good planes, TV Sets music stns, got some pics of which i might add tomorrow - sorry no time today im just about to head to the beach...Got to start ajusting to AEST, But then again come tuesday night ill be reajusting to NZST Again.....
FYI: I was originally in seat 16c but got shifted to seat 4d - and it was good to see some RATM Being played on the Air New Zealand radio - Now RATM are a group i have not listened to in donkeys years. The downside was that the first inflight movie was utter crap - im sick of that 27 dresses/Dr. Izzie Stevens Promo film have you what not being force fed down my throat...well thank the lord for a simpsons episode after that crappy movie. the funny side was our plane on arrival in brizzie was that the gangway broke down and we had to wait 5 minutes before we got off when the gangway was fixed.
Post later.
>
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 16 May 2008 12.15pm AEST

LAST KIWI POST FOR A WEEK

THIS IS MY LAST POST: On New Zealand shores for a week. The next time I POst will be in Australia where there will be pics of The plane, the beaches and shit of Surfers Paradise, Brisbane and shit you know what im sayin?
Im returning on the 2040 (NZST) Flight Tuesday May 20, until friday AEST Peace.
>
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 14 May 2008 3.12pm

WELLINGTON-BRISBANE WEATHER FRIDAY MAY 16.

COMPARE IT: I Will be departing Wellington fine and sunny weather with a top of 13c, Arriving Brisbane Rain and a top of 24, Gold Coast also rain top of 24c
What a change in weather - after all i was gunna sun myself on the beach :(, ahh well theres always the pub crawl - which was the purpose of this trip anyway :)

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 12 May 2008 5.05pm

WELL DAGNABBIT

I JUST FOUND OUT: That youse cant video a plane taking off from inside the aircraft - not while the seatbelt sign is on so theres no point in me buying a video camera for Friday.
But i should have photos of inside the plane in mid-air or from a window at 35000ft over the tasman and hey at least tuesdays flight will provide a bar service - all youse can drink in 3 and a half hours before we land in Wellington at midnight next tuesday.
Photos of Aussie should be up here as early as friday i should be sunning myself on a beach in surfers...might even catch a bus to NSW As well where ill have pics of Tweeds Harbour - supposidly on the Border with Queensland-NSW.
Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 12 May 2008 4.51pm

my anti vodafone site

THE GRAND JIHAD ON VODAFONE: Has it sown website Here Cheekit out if youse dare.
> - Peace

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 9 2008 4.17pm

PHOTOS AND (MAYBE) VIDEO

MY GREAT AUSSIE PUB CRAWL: Next week will have hjeaps of photos and maybe if youse are all good - video - anyone for an A320 taking off??

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 9 2008 4.15pm

ANYONE FOR ROOF RACKLING?? SUPERMARKET TROLLEY RACING???

HAHAHAHA: I still laugh at my tempestuous teenage years.
Rood Rackling or throwing stones on rooves, letterbox banging or hiffing stones at other peoples letter boxes and supermarket trolley racing - hahaha remember the woolworths 500 one wet saturday night back in '96? alot of cuts and grazes as me and my homies raced woolworths trolleys through Upper Hutt - hahahahaha.
years and years later i find all these childish pranks and in fact i would clobber with a baseball bat anybody who threw a stone on my roof

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Friday 9 2008 4.15pm

WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY

HERE IS A LIST: Of what makes me angry.
AULTY TRAFFIC LIGHTS: Over half of wellingtons traffic lights have glitches in them, i mean what the fuck is up with them, do the traffic light engineers ned to be beaten to a bloody pulp with a crowbar or something? Half the traffic lights dont stay green long enough meaning if your 3rd or 4th in a queue of cars waiting at the lights then chances are you will have to wait another 3 minutes at the same light again. If not the northbound lane goes green before the southbound lane even when theres no turning traffic, i mean how fucked up is this?? this is why Wellington has such a high rate of red light runners, intersection acideents and so forth, people speed up to avoid dodgy lights or run red lights just so they can be balanced, Its no wonder people feel like ramming the signal boxes down with there cars (and id have some sympathy for any person who actually does this - hey the lights are too fucked up whats the need for traffic lights in wellington anyway? upper Hutt got rid of most of them 15 years ago, replaced them with roundabouts because the UHCC Realised that the traffic lights where too faulty, why cant we replace all the lights with round abouts in wellington???
SLOW DRIVERS: DEATH TO ALL SLOW DRIVERS (except for learner drivers, buses and trucks) If you cannot drive at the prescribed speed limit DONT BOTHER FUCKING DRIVING AT ALL, its because of you motherfucking bastards that theres road rage assaults, overtaking accidents. Fucking Jesus Enricho Estafan I wish it was fuckign legal for cars with bullbars to ram these motehrfuckers off the road with them, im sick to death of the lack of enforcement of this.
NO ACTION FROM THE ABOVE: Of all that makes me angry, its the lack of action over this, weather its from the City Council or POlice, Hey with slow drivers when the police choose not to enforce a 1967 law that prohibits slow driving then people will take action, and vigilantes wont dish out tickets, theyll dish out punches, kicks, baseball bats, anything to punish the slow driver, and the WCC Have prolly got 3-4 bookloads of complaints about faulty traffic lights by me personally. WHY DONT YOU FUCKING DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT HUH?? Kefe!!!

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Wednesday 7. May 2008 5pm

REBELLIOUS DAYS

LOOKING BACK MANY YEARS: I can retrace the friday night i almost slammed into that power pole in Miro Street - just as well i have fast reflexes dude. (you see lamp-posts back then moved in upper hutt funnily enough over the years lamp-posts have stopped moving not just in upper hutt)...Oh and also that almost overcast, windy wednesday afternoon in April 2000 i was smoking buddha sticks outside the brown owl fish n chip shop...ican still picture myself in the black ribbed jersey blue jeans and long hair openly smoking the weed....8 years on i look back and laugh...not that i would encourage you or condone drinking up to the legal blood alcohol limit or smoking weed openly where the 5-0 could see you (luckily in both cases i was never caught and with that lamp-post near miss i left my car at the totara lodge hotel that night).
My rebellious days - worth a laugh but i dont do that shit now aye....

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Monday 5. May 2008 5pm

HEAVY RAIN (Heavy rain)

WHAT A GOD AWFUL STORM WE HAD LAST NIGHT: In fact it was so bad i get home from work this morning and Bukka, I discover that my carpet was saturated as a result of this horrible horrible storm, Ill have to tell my landlord ASAP but since they where not home today I will have to tell them tomorrow Rent Day.
Now waiting for the carpet to dry...may have to spend the night at my folks in U/Hutt tomorrow night while the drying process goes on.
Its all good though cos it could not have come at a better time, Tomorrow Is spring cleaning Day, My house is gunna look cleaner than ever, spent like $60 on cleaning materials just for this. So bed at 0730, Rise N Shine 1030, After a quick Coffee and shit its hitting the mops and buckets from 1045, so hopefully by 1300 all will be looking like new and i can enjoy the rest of the afternoon.
Anyone up for the Cambridge hotel tomorrow? - thats assuming i have the cash and im not stuck out in Boganville waiting for my carpet to dry from that terrible terrible storm last night.

Posted by CHRIS ZERO on Thursday 1. May 2008 5.15pm

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws