In this page, you will get to explore the mind, events and feelings of a Chun Jui... ok, fine, judging from the past 24 years, my life is far from what you call "eventful" (in fact, "dull" might the be more appropriate adjective) but I'll try to keep my entries interesting!
Monday, June 27, 2005
I've been thinking about karma ever since my cousin (the one who can fortune tell) talked about it when I saw him on Thursday. Everybody is born with a very basic "blueprint", if you will, of their life but external factors, including karma, are always coming into play. So, even if your "blueprint" is not so good, you can always make things good for you and your family by doing good deeds. Work hard and be charitable.
I believe in karma. I believe in reaping the rewards of the seeds you sow. Sometimes though, it's hard to keep up that mentality because the effects of karma are not always instantaneous. I"m trying to be patient but is it really true that good things come to those wait? I know I shouldn't give up but I'm also afraid that I've been waiting for something that I should have walked away from a long time ago and still don't know it...
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Memories... that's what I was experiencing today when I finally decided to do something about the catastrophic mess I call my bedroom. :P Can you believe that I had greeting cards (birthday cards, Christmas cards, Valentine's Day cards, etc.) dating back to 1993?!?!? Well, I had even older ones like my 6th birthday cards from my family but those don't count, because I'll keep those forever... Anyway, as I was rifling through the high school period of cards, I re-discovered some cards that certain, well, (don't laugh), boys had sent me... I had totally forgotten that I had received a Christmas card in my OAC year from an anonymous sender. I had also received a Christmas card from an "un-anonymous" boy who wrote out the words of a very nice poem. I couldn't help but smile when I looked at those cards because it took me this long (6 years) to comprehend the meaning of those cards. Duh. :P I was a little too innocent and naive back then.
Do you have any special memories that make you feel warm and fuzzy even after many years? :)
Thursday, June 23, 2005
I hate job hunting. It's tiring, physically and emotionally. It's like you're on a constant emotional roller coaster. The ego sure does take a beating! However, as my good friend, Mary, tells me, it's all in the attitude. Think positive and know that things happen for a reason. I'm so glad she said all those things to me because that's exactly how my attitude towards life normally is-- I just needed a little reminding. Even if I don't get a permanent, full-time job for September, I can still do supply teaching or long-term occasional (LTO) for the time being.
Many people are surprised that I'm having such a hard time finding a teaching job. Most of them say they have confidence in me because they know I'm a great teacher. Forgive me if I sound conceited but that's not the issue-- I know that I will be a good teacher, given my experience, education, and my sheer passion for working with children. It's the faith in my luck in finding a job, if that makes any sense at all. Timing is everything and I've too many experiences with bad timing.
Many people also have this myth that there is a teacher shortage in Ontario. That was the case maybe 5 years ago--- and they overestimated! That's why it's so difficult to find a job now because baby boomer teachers aren't retiring and new schools aren't being built fast enough nor are boards getting funding from the Ontario government quick enough to hire new teachers. Given all this, it makes me even more peeved when I hear young people saying, "Oh, I think I'll just go into teaching if I don't get into (fill in the blank)." Arrggghhh!!! Teaching requires not only good marks or experience but also a geniune passion for it. I would like to see Faculties of Education to make entrance into their programs a lot more stringent than they are now. They should also put prerequistes too for entry into Faculties of Ed. That way, people who are prepared, qualified and have the heart are allowed admission. We would have better teachers in our schools, too.
Anyway, I had an interview today but for an unidentified position (could be either Kindergarten or Gr. 2 right now). It's a a great school in a great, growing, young community with an equally great principal! I think I did ok, so everybody, keep your fingers crossed for me!
Lastly, Happy Birthday, Caroline and Benny (belated)!!! . Mine will be in exactly a week... eek. Thanks to Moaz too for sending me an early birthday e-card! Happy Belated Birthday to you, too, Mo!! :D
Thursday, June 9, 2005
Alright, as promised in my last entry, I will describe what happened to my hair. :( As those who have seen me regularly will remember, my hair had gotten really long, reaching down as far as my waist!! It had gotten to the point where the usual "Hi, how are you?" greeting from friends had become "Hi-- whoa!! Your hair is so long, Rapunzel!!" :P However, I held off from cutting my hair because I wanted it to be nice and long for my brother's wedding (I had some fantastic, gorgeous hairdo in mind for the wedding but of course, it didn't turn out to look like that. Far from it, actually. :()
Anyway, I knew it was time. It was time to let go. I knew it wasn't good for me but I just couldn't do it. I was in denial, not ready and not willing to face the truth: I had split ends. I needed to cut my hair to get rid of the damaged ends. The fact that many people kept complimenting on my hair and not knowing how split the ends have become made it harder for me to face reality.
One day, I decided I must face the music. Cut the hair NOW or endure ends that split even more, and walk around with really damaged hair (I've always hated how some girls have long, dried, damaged, split-ended hair and not willing to cut it. It looks ungroomed. It's as irritating as guys who don't shave and don't look good with the whole "rugged" thing. :P I didn't want to be one of them.). So, before I could think more about it and give myself time to change my mind, I went to the hairdresser.
After having my hair washed, I sat in the chair for about 30 minutes, with the water from my hair dripping down my back, into my ears and eyes. The hairdresser finally came over and asked me how I wanted to cut my hair. I indicated that I still want my hair to cover my shoulders.
I felt like I was ordering a fast food combo or something. All the time through that short "order-taking", I was thinking, "Uh, did you even SEE how my hair looked before it got washed??" Because if he had, then he would have known that I simply wanted the same style but just shorter. Anyway, about another 30 minutes later, my hair is 4 to 5 inches shorter (!!!!!!!!!!), it does NOT cover my shoulders, and my bangs look like they should belong on a 10 year-old little girl. I'm sensitive about my bangs since NOBODY can ever cut them properly or to my liking, so when he started cutting and cutting and continued cutting even after I said, "Um, I think they're short enough now..", I knew there was trouble.
I spent the rest of the day at home trying to come up with ways to resurrect my hair. What if I clipped my hair back like this or tied it back like that? What if I used all of this hairspray on my bangs, would they still look really short? *sigh* It's basically the same procedure I go through everytime I come home from a haircut-- I never like it. Maybe that's why I leave my hair so long. Rapunzel never has bad hair days...
Saturday, June 4, 2005
I've now officially graduated! Elsielyn Ng, Hon. B.A., M.A. And now, if those credentials will get me a job... :S Anyway, my convocation, as most of you know, was on Wednesday. Maybe it's because my life is otherwise so boring, but like my brother's wedding day, such important events just cannot simply occur without any small bumps of drama. As some of you may recall from my last entry, on my brother's wedding day, I had slept in. Determined that time was going to be on my side for the second most important day of this year, I vowed that I was reverting back to my usual punctual self. I told my family every single day leading up to the day of the convocation that we were going to leave at 12:15 (an hour before I actually had to be there),to give ourselves plenty of time to be stuck in traffic, find parking, and for me to complain how much my gown smells.
Well, on Wednesday, 12:15 came and went---and we were still at home. It had taken me about only 20 minutes to get ready and dressed, so I was ready to go at 12:15. However,a certain female family member (don't think I need to specify which one!!) was still taking her time primping. We didn't leave the house until 12:35, TWENTY minutes later than I had specified. Within those extra twenty minutes, I had even managed to curl my hair (which proceeded to unravel as soon as I arrived at U of T... arrgghh), and I still had to rush my beloved mother (who was painting her nails, at a painstakingly, maddeningly (is that a word??) slow pace. I could hear my blood pound inside my ears with anxiety!) out the door.
The drive downtown, was, well, horrendous! My blood pressure was probably at its record high. Someone please tell me why the traffic was stop-and-go on the DVP at 12:35 in the afternoon?!?! The traffic was jammed from 404 and Finch all the way down to Lawerence!! I had to be down at University College by 1:15 to get my gown and hood and to get into order for procession!! I felt blood vessels exploding and I didn't think my heart could pound any faster or louder. With each second that passed and with each half an inch we moved on the highway, I felt closer to having a massive heart attack (imagine the headlines: "M.A. Graduand Suffers Heart Attack and Dies from Being Stuck in Traffic: Do We Have Gridlock Problems in Toronto?" ). I couldn't bear to look at the clock in the car. I imagined myself being the only one in the entire graduating class to walk onto stage in Convocation Hall without a gown and hood. There would be no point in going up onto that stage, as the Chancellor is supposed to put on your hood--- he/she can't do that if you don't have a hood to begin with!
My blood pressure rose even more when my cell phone rang. My friend Rita was wondering where the hell I was (ok, she didn't say that). When I told her I had just passed the 401, she tried to stifle a gasp. Then, I finally snuck a peek at the time: 12:55. She tried to reassure me that it was going to be ok, that I will somehow get there in time for 1:15. I called her back a few minutes later, asking her if she could help get a gown and hood. She wanted to but didn't have enough cash for the deposit. She even tried to gather enough cash from our friends but could only manage to scrounge up $40 (the deposit is $75). At this point, I had muttered enough that my mom started to feel really badly. She even apologized!! That's when you know she truly felt bad!! :P
Ok, fast forward to 1:30: I finally arrive on campus grounds. My dad drops me off and I RUN as fast as I could with heels on. I don't stop until I've stepped into University College. In between gasps for air, I ask the Convocation volunteers where I go get my gown and hood (it must have been all that blood rushing into my brain and temporarily obstructing my vision because I later see that there was a big sign with an arrow indicating clearly where gown and hood rentals were). With shaking hands, I fill out the rental card, writing down "Elsielyn" where it said "surname". :S I grabbed my gown and hood and ran to where everybody was gathering. Apparently, I wasn't the latest one nor did those people really care. Everybody was still just chatting and milling about, even though the Convocation lady (sorry, don't know what else to call her) was standing on top of a table trying to give instructions. It turns out that my other friends had only just arrived too. AND, there was a very late person who literally ran into Convocation Hall a few minutes before the graduands were called up! So, maybe I was a little dramatic about the whole incident... :D
Ok, well, the day concluded with me finally getting my diploma, receiving two bouquets of beautiful flowers (one bouquet was a half-dozen pink roses with some lilies, and the other was of my FAVOURITE flowers: gerber daisies in assorted, cheerful colours!) from my parents and my brother and Mika, a delicious dinner, and HUGE, HUGE blisters on my feet from those stupid sandals. The blisters on my baby toes were even larger than my actual toes! I seriously couldn't sleep on my side that night because that meant putting a lot of weight onto my baby toes and I really didn't like how it felt to have those huge blisters rub against my bedsheet! In fact, the next few days I could only wear were flip-flops or go barefoot. Ouch.
Oh, fine, I will stop babbling now but I MUST thank all of you who congratulated me and especially to sweet Caroline , who made the trek all the way to ICS for the reception after the ceremony on Wednesday! Thanks so much!!!! I really appreciate it!
Preview for the next entry: the chopping off of 4 inches of my hair and how an almost-25 year old girl/woman can almost pass as a 12 year-old as a result of that haircut. You won't want to miss it! :D
Hairdresser: "Layers?"
Me: "Yes, please."
Hairdresser: "It will be like a V when you look at hair from the back."
Me: "Ok."
Hairdresser: "Bangs?"
Me: "Yes, please. Just trim a LITTLE, LITTLE bit."
<-- Me (as seen last with my long hair...*sniff sniff*) with the flowers.
<-- from my parents 
<--from my bro and sis-in-law
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