In this page, you will get to explore the mind, events and feelings of a Chun Jui... ok, fine, judging from the past 22 years, my life is far from what you call "eventful" (in fact, "dull" might the be more appropriate adjective) but I'll try to keep my entries interesting!
Saturday, July 27, 2002
Warning: if the following entry does not make much sense, it's because I'm feeling very groggy, foggy, and in a trance- like state from sleeping too long after I came home from work today. I had, for some crazy reason, forgotten last night that trying to act cheerful and civilized towards little preschoolers require a TON of energy. Normally, this "energy" would probably come from consuming some sort of caffeine but actually making coffee or buying coffee would mean that I would need to wake up early enough to do so... But anyway, I would have stayed out longer last night if I didn't have to go to work this morning--- Anita and I were having too much fun hogging the mikes at karaoke! Oh, by the way, for the record, last night's impromptu karaoke session was NOT my idea nor suggestion!!! Would you people please stop looking at me whenever "karaoke" is mentioned??? =P It's not my fault that Caroline and Tammy both forgot to bring socks for bowling (even after Caroline had specifically asked us to in her emails!!), and that all the lanes were full!
*ahem* Moving right along, I woke up extremely hungry this morning because my stomachache finally passed, reminding me that I hadn't actually gotten to eat that much because of my stupid stomachache. My stomachaches always have to come at the most inopportune moments-- I was at a all-you-can-eat sushi buffet!!! I didn't even get to taste all the types of sushi and sashimi because I couldn't even sit properly with my tummy feeling like it's gonna implode any second. (Sorry for the graphic description, although that's how it really felt like!)I guess I should be like those little old Chinese ladies and start packing crackers and cookies into my purse everytime I leave the house. That way, my stomach won't take revenge on me for not feeding it food on time. But blame the kids at the tutorial school: those darned brats ate every single leftover slice of pizza, and wolfed down all the bags of chips yesterday at our play day. Seriously, it's like they've never seen, smelled or eaten pizza and chips before in their lives!! Some of the older ones even went around to the younger kids and stole their chips!! I was really hungry (what's new? AND, I had eaten lunch before I went to the tutorial school... ), and although I managed to stuff down one slice of Hawaiian pizza before any of them were finished their first slice, I was kind of eyeing the chips too but they got to them first. Darn kids. ANYWAY, back to last night: Anita, sorry for the lack of selection at the "buffet" (hahaha..) but hopefully, there would be a wealthier variety of selection in China! hehehe... and remember, you have to "take out" some for us girls back here in Canada, okie??? But seriously though, take really good care of yourself and don't get jipped too much!
P.S. Because I was in desperate need for some sleep last night when I came home, I found myself having some pretty delirious and downright scary dreams, including one in which I dreamt that I was buying textbooks for school!!!!!! I think I should classify that as a nightmare, not a dream...
Monday, July 22, 2002
I haven't written two consecutive entries in a while (since not a lot of you read it anyway-- I feel like I'm talking to myself sometimes... =P) but a discovery I made today, made me realize how small tthis world really is!!! I mean, I already thought that it was kinda weird that Cindy and Kendrick know each other, and that I'm also working with Mary, another friend of Kendrick's-- how weird is that?? AND, Cindy just so happens to be a former student of my brother's, who teaches music theory on Sundays. =P NOW, I've made a weirder discovery: I've been reading an eJournal of an ex-girlfriend of a friend of mine for while now, and when I read it today, I made a startling discovery that she is related to a childhood friend of mine! I mean, I hardly know this girl (I've met her once when she was still going out with my friend)and I've read her eJournal from time to time because I'm nosy =P but today's discovery was definitely the most interesting experience!! This childhood friend of mine is actually a daughter of one of my mom's classmates and good friends, and so when we were young, we played together a lot. I haven't seen her in ages, though... But now, I don't know what I can do about this discovery. I can't just email the girl who writes the eJournal that I know her cousin (my childhood friend) cuz that's just weird... besides, she probably doesn't remember who I am from our one and only brief meeting, so she might think it's weird I read her eJournal. AND, her ex-boyfriend is actually someone I was involved with a while back, so it'll be even weirder!! I can't let my childhood friend know either since I haven't spoken nor seen her in years. What a strange, strange world....
Sunday, July 21, 2002
I'm exhausted today but I had a really fun and relaxing time last night with the SOC. girls. =) After a tiring day at work, I needed to go out and have some fun. So, we decided to go to a Japanese restaurant in Yorkville that Gol suggested, and she was right, it was really good! I couldn't finish my "Gold Sushi" combo, of course, but what I did manage to finish was so delicious... After stuffing ourselves silly, we took a nice evening stroll through Yorkville (everything and everyone is so chic! hahaha... ). We stopped inside a retro toy store and it was really cool to see all the toys from our childhood, including vintage Diana Ross Barbie Dolls that cost a couple hundred dollars!! Then, we had to have dessert, so we ended up walking to Greg's Ice Cream on Bloor, and pigged out! Of course, I had to get a double scoop even though I had just declared that I wasn't going to get anything seconds before we stepped into the store. =P Who could resist ice cream?? Anyway, we were then off to Raq 'n' Waq, a lounge/club/pool hall, on Bathurst and Queen. It was a cool place to hang out because it wasn't exactly like a club, so people like me with no sense of coordination or grace don't feel pressured to dance. =) There were lots of pool tables, which I normally would avoid since I have no hand-eye coordination either but the girls wanted to play, so I just went along. Sure enough, throughout the two games that we played, I had only managed to get TWO balls into the pockets and even then, only by chance. *sigh* I think I was born without the "dancing" and "shooting pool" genes. =P I was pooped by the time Cindy drove me home but I was really happy that I went out with them. It took a lot of things off my mind, a welcome relief. =)
P.S. Last year, this weekend was our first weekend back from HK. I remember meeting up with Moaz, Caroline, Connie to exchange photos. =) Again, how quickly time goes by!
Thursday, July 18, 2002
The weather seemed to match my mood today: grey and cloudy. I don't really know why I woke up feeling so gloomy today... Maybe it's cuz Viv is leaving tomorrow. =( But, I had a really good time last night, just like I always do when I get together with Viv. =) Maybe it's because we both seem to bring out the wackiness in each other whenever we're together. That's one thing I'm gonna miss about her-- our good laughs and talks. We always seem to be able to make fun ourselves when we get together-- a good indicator of a true friendship! Viv, take good care of yourself in Japan, okie? And remember, you must come back to visit us whenever you can. And yes, I'll drop by if I ever happen to be in the neighbourhood, ok? =P
In my state of gloominess, I started to wonder if I'm not demanding enough in certain aspects of my life. I mean, in terms of work and school, I demand a lot from myself because I know I can only count on myself to get the results I want. But in terms of relationships (including friendship, family, and romance), I don't think I'm aggressive enough. I think I care too much about what others think of me and I don't want to disrupt or hurt them just to get things that I want. I mean, others have feelings too, right? I can't not take other people's feelings into consideration whenever I want something, right? I don't mean to sound like I'm such a wonderful person but I really, really can't bring myself to risk hurting other people's feelings to get what I want. I mean, I get pissed whenever other people are inconsiderate towards me in their actions, so I can't be a hypocrite. Does that mean I'm a passive person? Yes, I guess so...
Monday, July 15, 2002
What a stressful start to the day... what an early stressful start to the day... arghh... I hate, absolutely hate, registration for UofT courses!!! After getting barely five hours of sleep, I woke up to my alarm clock at 5:55am this morning, to fumble out of bed, switch on my computer and log onto good ol' ROSI. Of course, half of the world is on all at once, so after an hour, I was close to tears because I had only managed to register for ONE half-year course!! The damned thing kept telling me that my ID number was wrong, the course code was wrong, and/or the activity code was wrong, the course was cancelled (why didn't they say so on the calendar update thingies that they sent a few days ago??!! It screwed me up and I was forced to take a course I really don't want to take!!!), etc., etc. Can somebody tell me how a class is full after only half an hour ROSI opened?? What, is the class capacity a maximum of 5 people?? Anyway, I didn't get to go back to sleep before I had to wake up again to go to work like I had originally planned, and so, I knew that today was just gonna be one 'em days... As I was driving to preschool (why, oh, why did they choose TODAY, course registration day, to be the first day back at work after the strike?? Couldn't we have been on strike for just one more day??), I pictured myself being mauled and torn apart by hysterical preschoolers, and then in the afternoon, standing at the front of the classroom at the tutorial school with gibberish coming out of my mouth, in a masked attempt to teach the students about Population Density and Distribution. But, it wasn't that bad and in an attempt to be nice to my co-workers at the tutorial school, I picked up Tim Horton's Iced Cappucinos at the drive-through before I headed for the school. Of course, today had to be the day where they had run out of trays, so I had to settle for putting three iced cappucinos inside a donut box instead. Of course, as soon as I brake or make a turn or go over so much as a twig or even a pebble on the road, the cappucinos would fall over and spill, soaking the bottom of the stupid donut box, and leaking onto the passenger seat of my car. I was again very near hysterical tears (I've only had about 5 hours of sleep and I had to do course registration early in the morning, remember) as I drove with one hand on the wheel and the other stupidly holding onto the precious caffeine concoctions for dear life---I just wanted to be nice and treat my co-workers to iced cappucinos on a scorching day like today!! Couldn't I do anything right?? =( Yes, never disagree with me or say anything that has any slight negative edge to it when I've had less than 10 hours of sleep the night before, or you would get a very emotional, almost on the brink of hysterics, Elsie. =P Just a warning.
Things were a little better in the afternoon (I had some twisted sense of satisfaction when I was teaching the kids stuff I knew was incredibly boring but insisted that they would be quizzed on the material. Judging from how 98% of them failed the first quiz, these kids had no choice but to pay attention, although they were trying to fight back tears of boredom from streaming down their faces. =P muahahahaha...) but after dinner, I was back to being near hysterical. I just realized that I had forgotten to change my subject POSt from a Minor in East Asian Languages and Literatures to a Minor in East Asian Studies... yes, it matters because I hadn't taken any language courses yet, which is a requirement for the Languages and Literatures program but I had taken EAS102Y instead, which is a requirement for the plain East Asian Studies program. I had tried to change the subject POSt on ROSI but the stupid thing wouldn't let me, although I don't know why, as it is a Type 1 POSt.... then, I realized that they had majorly changed the East Asian Studies program in general, and had cut many of their language courses. Now tell me, how on earth will I be able to complete my degree in East Asian Languages and Literatures when they've cancelled a chunk of the language courses??? So, I sent a pleading email to the Undergrad Co-ordinator, begging her to let me change my subject POSt to a regular East Asian Studies Minor program under the old criteria before they had revamped the East Asian Studes department this year.... Yes, I realize I'm babbling and probably none of what I had just typed made any coherent sense at all, so I will stop, and get some desperately needed sleep...
P.S. To those who haven't responded/confirmed if they are going to Viv's farewell dinner on Wednesday, do so ASAP!! Call me and let me know, so I can let the restaurant know how many of us are gonna be rowdy. =)
Thursday, July 11, 2002
Happy Birthday Mom!! We had a really good dinner tonight at "Day and Night" in Markham, and I can't wait until the next time I go there again! =) The decor is really cool, and the food is pretty good for a very reasonable price. The ambience is excellent, the service is great, and you get to write a wish on a little card, and then hang up onto the fake trees inside the restaurant. =) Plus, because this evening was so nice, they opened up one side of the restaurant, and it became an open air cafe/patio. It was really cool-- the windows we were sitting next to could actually be rolled up like a garage door. It was so nice with the sweet smell of the firewood (all the meat dishes were grilled over firewood) meeting the soft breeze of the outdoors. Plus, I ordered a really good (alcoholic!) drink called "Blue Hawaii" which, with its little plastic sword, cherry, and all, went really well with the whole warm summer evening scenario. =) Oh, and even the bathrooms are really cool, although I was frightened the first time I had used it. (Remember that, Caroline, when we first went there? =P)
Although I had a very relaxing evening, there was an issue that was bugging me that I had managed to push into the back of my mind during dinner. I just felt really sad that as a teacher, I have to learn to deal with matters such as child abuse. Being a teacher in this day in age isn't so easy, now that abuse is such a sensitive issue. I feel this incredible amount of pressure that as a teacher, I should be able to sense or notice if any of my students are being abused at home. If I only find out in hindsight that a certain student had been abused, I would feel really bad for having been so tough on him/her, as these kids usually are either withdrawn and sullen, or active and disruptive in class. But how could anyone abuse their own flesh and blood?? Only the sick and weak would take out their anger on their innocent, helpless children...
On a lighter note, I must write about my "Pet Peeve of the Day": who the hell chats on their cell phone while they're doing their business inside the washroom stall??? I mean, I thought it was already bad enough that some people quite enjoy talking through stalls while peeing or whatever else they're doing but chatting away on a cell phone?? Could you not just call that person back when you're done??? When I went into the washroom today at a mall, I heard a woman talking but I was the only other person in there, and her's was the only stall whose door was closed. I only realized that she was chatting on her cell when I heard her say, "Oops, hold on, I got a call on the other line!" =P
Wednesday, July 10, 2002
I was talking to my good friend May, who's in HK right now doing the Summer Program, and just hearing her talk about her activities in HK brought back so many memories. She was complaining about having to study for her final exam and finishing her assignment for tomorrow, and it reminded me of our class's "study session" before the midterm, as well as my "extensive research" for my research paper on the influence that Japanese pop culture has on Hong Kong's pop culture... =D May was also saying how tomorrow is the farewell dinner at Jumbo, and that of course, brought back many, many memories for me as well, for example, our table's little incident with the chicken head (don't ask, if you don't know what I'm talking about! You wouldn't want to know... =P), our clubbing experience after the dinner and then of course, our all-nighter karaoke session. =D It was very amusing to see Viv and Carol so "happy"!!! hahaha.... Viv apparently acquires an accent that seems to be a cross between Spanish-English-Indian when she's had a little too much to drink, and Carol, well, Carol seems to be really sleepy in one moment and then really wide awake the next, and the next thing you know, she's sleeping again-- but on the floor. =P When we finally got out of the karaoke place, it was early morning already and we all resembled a group of walking zombies, squinting from the sunlight. =) I think someone even suggested going for breakfast before we went back to res but I think that would have been stretching it a little... =P I remember longing for my bed and taking off those darned sandals that managed to leave welts on my feet for a couple of hours even after I had taken them off. *sigh* Those were the days... =P I feel like such a rebel now if I go to bed after 12:30 am!! =P
Monday, July 8, 2002
Monday already??? Why do I feel like the weekend never happened? =( Oh well, I guess one good thing is that everything is ok again at home. Now, I can fully concentrate on my stupid lesson planning and not have to worry about walking into the middle of a war zone whenever I go home. =) Speaking of which, how on earth do you teach Geography at a school that doesn't have any atlases, globes or even one single map?? I thought of putting maps on overheads but the overhead machine wasn't working AND there aren't any screens that I could project the overheads on. arghh... So, I've been resorted to bringing a cheesy, free atlas I got from the Bay many years ago and propping it up against the blackboard, and let the kids step all over each other when they come up to look at it to do their mapping exercises during class. =P But the kids themselves are another story. While all of them are great kids, some of them are just not very smart!! I know, I know I'm supposed to be a teacher but tell me, how do you still get the answers to the questions on a worksheet wrong even after I've yelled them out TWENTY THOUSAND times??? Also, the questions are fill in the blanks-- all you have to do is find the corresponding sentence in the reading, and fill in the missing words!! sheesh... And you wouldn't believe how poor these kids' reading levels are... When I told the kids that they should read more and stop watching so much TV, one kid asks me very seriously, "But I watch the Discovery Channel, does that count?" =P
Can you believe my brother?? This guy had FREE VIP tickets to the Alicia Keys concert tonight at the ACC and he doesn't give one to me, his one and only sister?? What atrocity! *hmph* And after all that I stuff I went through last week because of him!! =P Hey, now that I think about it, he didn't even give me a birthday present!!! Stupid, stooooo-pid brother!!
Anyway, I have to go back to my prep for my lessons tomorrow-- I have to go around the house and gather items to use as examples of natural resources in our daily lives... Recycling bin, here I come. =(
P.S. Check out Connie's website-- it's soooooo much better than mine!! =P
Thursday, July 4, 2002
Today was a much better day, not as stressful and unhappy as yesterday was. There's still some tension but it's not as bad. In terms of work, things are getting better there too. I guess there would bound to be confusion and stress on the first two days of any new job, right? The only thing is, there's soooooo much work to do!!! To those who have never fully appreciated their teachers, you should realize how much energy and time they put in to try and make your learning interesting and efficient! Believe me, it's not an easy job... I'm constantly worried if my lessons are interesting enough to keep the kids paying attention, yet easy enough for them to understand. Plus, I have to find all these materials and resources to make my lessons easier to understand. *phew* In a way, I guess I'm kind of glad that I'm on strike for my preschool job because it gives me a couple of more hours to plan ahead for my lessons at the tutorial school in the afternoon. I just wish that I get paid more for all these nights I'm staying up till 1 am, preparing and planning these darned lessons... =( But despite all of this, I DO enjoy teaching. Plus, all of this is good experience to put on my application for teachers' college in December-- I just hope I get in because one of the girls I work with was scaring me about how hard it is to get accepted. I mean, competing against 6000 other people to be one of the 300 people accepted into teachers' college isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. In Hong Kong, you don't even have to have a teaching degree to be a teacher!! argghh... the great injustices in this world! =P
Wednesday, July 3, 2002
It's early in the day but I've finally come to a realization about myself: I overestimate myself. I didn't know that I had such a lacking ability to make those around me happy. When people come talk to me about their problems, I welcome them, and take it upon myself to make them feel happier about their situations. I don't always solve their problems but I always try to make them feel better. When people tell me their problems, I try to make them feel better but by not just telling them what they want to hear. I am sympathetic but I will try to tell them honestly and objectively my opinion, and trust that they will understand where I'm coming from. I try to make them see things in a different perspective, in hopes that they won't just keep circling around and around and not getting to the heart of the matter. But I only realized today that this doesn't work with everyone--family. As ironic, as it seems, I couldn't make someone in my family feel better by telling them honestly what I thought. Mind you, I'm not ruthless, I DO have some tact. It's very crushing when you realize that you can't even make people who matter the most happy.
But this shouldn't come as a shock-- now that I look back, I HAVE overestimated myself in many situations before. I was asked today if I knew how it feels to be unappreciated for all your efforts. Well, of course I do, that has pretty much been the story of my life! But as disappointing and heartbreaking as it is to realize that everything you've done goes unnoticed or unappreciated, I always find myself becoming a little stronger each time. I hope I don't sound melodramatic because that is how I honestly feel. So, please value and cherish everyone in your life, everyone who has made even a small difference to your life.
Monday, July 1, 2002
Happy Canada's Day!! I would go out and have fun in this sunshine except that it's like 40 degrees Celsius with humidity! ughh... But, it was way worse last year in HK, though. How did I ever survive in that heat last year?? Anyway, I just want to say a great big THANKS to everyone who came out and celebrated my birthday with me last night! =D I had a really, really fun time, and I couldn't ask for a better group of friends to party with me! Thanks guys! With all that heat and mugginess, our marathon karaoke session last night (which continued into the wee hours of this morning, heehee) was reminiscent of our karaoke parties in Hong Kong last year! =D By the way Chris and Kathryn, you two sing sooooo well together! Stupid Ms.Andrews never saw that in choir, did she?? Kendrick, I'm glad you actually made it to karaoke! =) I thought you weren't gonna show up again... Caroline, Jane, Cindy and Golnaz, you guys all owe me a karaoke session, okie?? =)
Tomorrow is my first day at the tutorial school and I still don't know how many kids I'm getting in each of my classes, nor a confirmed schedule. *sigh* And, it looks like I'm not getting back to my preschool job anytime soon either, even if the Local 79 union doesn't go on strike cuz the Local 416 still is... =T Anyway, it's back to lesson planning...
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