In this page, you will get to explore the mind, events and feelings of a Chun Jui... ok, fine, judging from the past 23 years, my life is far from what you call "eventful" (in fact, "dull" might the be more appropriate adjective) but I'll try to keep my entries interesting!
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Don't get the wrong idea: I'm not vain. I just took those pics and posted them, so everyone, including myself, can take a good look at me. Take a good look at me, and what kind of person do you think I am? I don't mean my physical appearance, so don't think this is an excuse to fish around for compliments. I mean, take a good look at me and what kind of person do you think I am from the inside? Chances are, whatever you come up with, good or bad, I will probably agree but I will also think that I am also the polar opposite. So, if you look at the pictures and think, "She looks like a pretty boring person", I will agree with you but I will also think that I'm interesting and fun, as well. Doesn't make sense? Well, welcome to my world or what Viv calls my "quarter life crisis". :)
Here is another pic I took today that I think reflects this conflicting internal state I seem to be in:
Dreary, drab and unpleasant weather but romantic and mystical as well...
Friday, April 23, 2004
First of all, a BIG shout out to my one and only roommate: Happy Belated Birthday, Tammy!! I'm so happy that you've finally found a "jui jui" who seems very sweet... can't wait to meet him! ;) Here's wishing that all your dreams come true and may you always enjoy good health (cut down on the coffee!!), happiness, and lots of love!
Today was my first time ever instructing a Kindergym class! :) I was a little nervous, since the only gymnastics experience I've ever got was when I went to Kindergym when I was 5! But, luckily I was working with someone who knows what she's doing. The kids were soooo cute!! I mean, I've had all of them in my other preschool classes before, so I knew beforehand that they were really cute but boy, watching them trying to tumble and balance was the funniest thing ever! You should have seen this quite chunky little girl trying to do a somersault!! Because her belly was big, she kept on rolling sideways when she tried to do a somersault! heehee... :D I LOVE kids!
Anyway, on a more serious, reflective note, I just want to say that I'm getting tired of feeling guilty of being so fortunate in my life. I KNOW I'm lucky to have all the things and people in my life and I KNOW full well that not everyone gets to experience even a fraction of my good fortune but why make me feel guilty about it? I know I take many things and people for granted every day but trust me, I am very grateful. I'm trying not to take things and people for granted but it is not a sin to have a stable and fortunate life. I don't think I'm spoiled (or at least, not that spoiled!) but since when has it become a fault to have led a sheltered childhood and to a certain extent, a somewhat sheltered young adulthood? I know I am naive and I know I am sheltered but that does not make me less of a person or less of a capable person. I am a responsible, independent, somewhat mature (!), and hard-working young woman--- I don't need ANYONE, including my family to tell me otherwise. And if I hear "You are so lucky to have (fill in the blank)! When I was your age, I didn't!" one more time..... :/ argghhhh!!
And to those people who, with the best of intentions, have tried to minimize my problems (and thought that that would be helpful), please don't do that. You're only blowing me off and brushing off problems that to you may seem miniscule but to me, are significant. It does not matter what you say; it's how you listen.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
Wow, it's been a long time! I apologize for not having kept up with this journal for over a month-- to those who actually care (or just nosy! ;) ) As you've probably guessed, things were crazy for the past month what with classes going through the final crunch and tons of responsibilities with my teaching practicum!!
So, where do I start? Well, I had a really good but stressful (a good kind of stress-- though only in retrospect!) placement for my fourth and final placement of my first year of the MA CSE program. Basically, I had four weeks to plan, implement and wrap up a whole grade 3 social studies unit on Pioneers, plus manage a remedial reading group for only 3 hours a day that I was at the school (my placements are only in the mornings)-- if I was lucky enough to have the whole morning! AND, the teacher had also wanted me to plan and implement a science unit for the grade fours as well (it was a split grade 3/4)!! Crazy, I tell ya! Not to mention the loads of papers and other research projects for my own classes... 8/
But now, I'm sort of free!!! I still have a major research paper hanging over my head but my classes are now over, so technically, I've completed my first year of my Masters!! Someone congratulate me! hehe... But in all seriousness, even though I've complained and whined relentlessly for the past 8 months or so, I really felt like I've learned a lot and feel very grateful for that. I've also met a large group of very talented, very intelligent, very passionate, very friendly people in my program. I feel very honoured to be classmates with those people-- at times, I feel kind of stupid compared to them... Anyway, we're also a very social bunch and it was definitely a special group of people because everyone got along super well! There were no major conflicts, competition, nasty gossip, etc., which I always fear when a group of people come together. I definitely will miss them next year because we're going to be divided in half, with one half taking classes while the other half are in internship placements. That means I'm not going to have any classes with my classmates who are doing their internship in the other semester.. :(
But anyway, the past 8 months have flown by! Although those months for me where simply filled with school work and not much else, for others this period of time have been filled with a lot of change and events. For example, last night at a party with my classmates, I learned that many of my classmates have broken up with their boyfriends/girlfriends, some of them who were actually co-habiting with their boyfriends/girlfriends... :( Then, there were those who got engaged in the past few months! Life is full of ups and downs..
Speaking of ups and downs, one day last week, I ran into a former co-worker. She was one of the first people I worked with when I started my job at the preschool 6 years ago. Anyway, her daughter is now 6 years old and her son is 3--- I still remember her being pregnant with her son and now he's 3!! The saddest thing is that also within these short years, she had also divorced from her husband. It has only been 2 or 3 years since I last worked with her but for her, these few years have been challenging and life-changing. Anyway, my point is, time is such a funny thing: it can either drag on or it could fly by. Nothing major will happen within long periods of time but sometimes it only takes a month, a week or even just a day for a life-altering event (eventS!) to take place. No matter how advanced human civilization becomes, time will always be something that no mortal could ever control or even begin to understand...
Going crazy with stress!
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