In this page, you will get to explore the mind, events and feelings of a Chun Jui... ok, fine, judging from the past 22 years, my life is far from what you call "eventful" (in fact, "dull" might the be more appropriate adjective) but I'll try to keep my entries interesting!
Friday, April 25, 2003
Ok, wow, long time no update! =P Things were (and still are) a bit hectic with a million papers to write and tests to study for. Anyway. I must wish Tammy and Mika (my bro's girlfriend) a HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! =) Their birthdays were both on April 22, in case some of you out there need some reminders... heehee. Oh, also HAPPY VERY BELATED BIRTHDAY to Connie!! We (Tammy, Connie, Jane, and I) had a great time at Sakura last Saturday-- too bad so many of you guys couldn't make it. We'll have to have a great big party once school is over!
What's new with me, you ask? (Don't really care? Oh well. I'm telling you anyway! heehee) Well, the most "exciting" thing has been my haircut. Yes, it's a big deal, for you males out there who don't understand. =P Most people who have had some sort of contact with me in the past couple of days have already heard me whine about my chopped bangs... argggh... The stylist dude chopped my bangs before I could stop him!! Oh well...it doesn't look as weird anymore, and plus, it's just hair, it'll grow back soon. (I've been repeating that to myself over and over again whenever I look into the mirror!) Thanks to those who reassured me that I don't look funny, unlike my brother who burst out laughing when he saw my new haircut. =/ He was rolling around on the bed, laughing and laughing, and didn't stop for one minute! Nice brother, eh?!? =P
Friday, April 11, 2003
As a few of you who I've talked to in the past couple of days know, I've had a very unpleasant experience and it had gotten me very angry. In my whole lifetime, I've never really experienced any real instances of racism in Canada before. But a few days ago, I did. I don't know if any of you Chinese-Canadians have felt the backlash from other people lately because of the outbreak of SARS but let me tell you if you haven't, it does exist. Here's what happened: I was at the Bloor-Yonge subway station on my way to school. At that hour, the platform was very crowded, and so, I was sandwiched between a bunch of teenage girls who were all friends. Three of them were in front of me and about two or three were walking alongside me. One of the girls next to me looked at me, and called out to one of her friends who was in front of me. All of the girls in the front turned right around, and when they saw me, they immediately covered their noses and mouths with their sleeves!! One of them immediately yelled out, "SARS!" ooooohhh... I was SO pissed!! I didn't say anything and kept on walking. As soon as there was more room, those stupid girls walked quickly away from me, still laughing and yelling loudly! In other words, they immediately assumed that because I'm Chinese, I have SARS!! If they had continued to harrass me, I would have either said something back to them or coughed on them, just to freak them out! hehe.. But seriously, I've never been so outraged.
But I am not alone. I know that many other Chinese-Canadians (plus other Canadians of Asian descent) have felt some form of ostracization from our fellow Canadians because of SARS. In a way, I'm not terribly surprised because I knew that this was going to happen when the first case of SARS broke out in Toronto, and the victim was Chinese. This is exactly what Muslims felt when 9/11 occurred. In any case, I am still very angry and outraged at the amount of ignorance that is still going on in our "tolerant" community in the 21st century. Haven't people realized by now that "race" is not a real category but rather, is just socially created? All the social meanings we attach to biological characteristics and traits are arbitrary and are NOT justified. Behaviour is NOT correlated with biological traits! Behaviours, and in this case, illnesses, are NOT determined nor limited by "race". If they were, then only and all black people should have AIDS because Africa has the highest amount of people with the disease (regardless of the fact that not all blacks are from Africa-- not all Chinese are from China or Hong Kong either!)!! But we all know that that is not true and that statement is utterly ridiculous and racist! Illnesses transcend "racial" boundaries, as we have seen in the case of AIDS. Similarly, then, SARS are not limited to Chinese only NOR does it mean all Chinese people have SARS!! Yes, it originated in China, yes, China and Hong Kong have the highest amount of SARS cases, and yes, it was very wrong for the Chinese government (the PRC) to be secretive about outbreak. But, this disease could have originated ANYWHERE in the world. The fact that not only Chinese people are being afflicted with this disease goes to show that this disease isn't exclusively Chinese.
It gets me very upset when people in this day and age are still so ignorant. I must admit,I am NOT perfect, I am ignorant of many, many things, and I also stereotype, just like everybody does in the world. It is a natural tendency for us to do so because we need to simplify our lives and our world by categorizing all of the information we are being bombarded with every second and every minute of our lives. Prejudice, and discrimination, though, are NOT synonmous with stereotyping. Prejudice is the most negative form of stereotyping, and when you act on these prejudiced feelings, you are discriminating. And when you believe that your prejudices are true, then you are being ignorant. This doesn't just go for racism-- it also goes towards religion, and homosexuality.
Canada has always praised itself of being a multi-cultural, tolerant country. While overt racism is not as bad as in other countries, it certainly does not mean it does not exist in Canada. When something goes wrong, and a scapegoat is needed, then all feelings of racism surface. Is this actually better? Is it actually better to pretend that we're not racist and be friendly towards everyone else when everything is going well but only to reveal our true racist attitudes when things go bad? Don't get me wrong-- I love Canada and there is nowhere else in the world that I would want to live and for my children and grandchildren to live but Canada is not perfect. Far from it. Please stop forming attitudes and beliefs based on fiction. Become more informed about "how it really is", and be truly open to differences. I really do wonder when our world will finally become a truly peaceful place.
P.S. I am also disappointed that The Toronto Star hasn't run many stories on the discrimination towards Chinese-Canadians. A few days ago, there was a small article about it but wasn't very noticeable. But I must admit, I'm very pleased with our PM for purposely dining at a Chinese restaurant in China yesterday to show that it is safe to do so. Now if only our pal Ernie Eves would do something about it too, instead of sitting around and feeling guilty about not going to war in Iraq.
Tuesday, April 1, 2003
A sad day with the shocking news of the death of a MAJOR Hong Kong superstar, Leslie Cheung. I wasn't really a fan of his but nonetheless, I recognize his powerful influence in the entertainment business in Hong Kong. There is virtually no Chinese person in this world who is unfamiliar with him-- he was that big. The most tragic part of his death is that he committed suicide. He took his own life by jumping off the 24th floor of a hotel in downtown HK. It's said that it was probably a very impulsive act because he was upset over his boyfriend breaking up with him earlier in the day (Leslie was gay and admitted it).
How would you define "happiness"? Is it an individually-based experience or does the collective determine it? I mean, I was elated when I got the letter of acceptance to OISE but I quickly got over my initial excitement when I turned on the TV and saw the war going on. How could I be happy when scores of people are dying, while the surviving are struggling to continue living? All of this is exacerbated by the increasing seriousness of SARS. Everyday, I open the newspaper, and more people have died from either the war or from SARS. Humans are so vulnerable.
Now upon learning that my cousin is getting a divorce and that his 2-year old son has been diagnosed with epilepsy, it makes me feel even worse. In a way, I feel so useless. With so much going on, I feel like I am a spectator, watching the world suffer, while I am enjoying my personal achievements.
Maybe happiness is relative. Maybe it depends on both the surrounding environment and individual achievements. But, in a way, all of this unhappiness has made me value all that I have even more. Nothing is for granted, that's for sure. All of this has sure made my "problems" seem like nothing at all.
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