In this page, you will get to explore the mind, events and feelings of a Chun Jui... ok, fine, judging from the past 24 years, my life is far from what you call "eventful" (in fact, "dull" might the be more appropriate adjective) but I'll try to keep my entries interesting!
Thursday, October 28, 2004
"I'm getting not used to not seeing him. Does this mean I'm starting to miss him?" Ahh... the ironies of life. :P
I'm going to dress up as a bunch of grapes for Hallowe'en this year... You think the kids will like my costume tomorrow? :D
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Ok, I deserve an award for this--- this is my third time updating within four days!! :P Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my feelings today. Today was one of those days where I'm reminded once again why I love teaching. It happened during Math, one of my most despised subjects when I was in elementary school. I was teaching the kids some quick addition strategy and the looks on their faces when they understood what I was saying were absolutely priceless. :) Their faces just lit up. Even better was when the bell rang for lunchtime, some of the kids were so excited about their newfound knowledge that they asked if they could work on their math work during their lunch hour! Of course, it made me melt even more when the kids came up to me and said things like, "I really like you, Ms. Ng... I wish you that you don't have to go in December!" Awww.... :D It's moments like these that makes all the hardwork, lack of sleep and energy worthwhile! Nothing beats the feeling knowing that I made a subject fun and interesting for the students when I personally hated it! :P
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Ok, I'm being good and I'm actually updating the SECOND day in a row! Aren't you proud of me (if anybody cares, that is!)? :P Anyway, just wanted to pop a note in here commenting on how much I enjoy hangin out with my friends (sorry, a bit cheesy, I suppose!). Yesterday, for some odd reason, I was kind of down and sad all day, despite the gorgeous sunny weather but when I met up with my friends in the evening, they instantly made me feel much better. Although we didn't do anything really special (expect to celebrate Jane's birthday!), and although they didn't know that I was in a downer mood, they nonetheless managed to put a smile back on my face. So, thanks, Tammy and Jane ! :)
Another reason for this update is that I realized I forgot to write about Vivian's visit back to TO last month!! How could I?! :P Anyway, I was soooo happy to see one of my good friends again after two years and the best part was, even though we hadn't seen each other nor spoken to each other (like, on the phone), it was like she had never left! We were instantly in wacky moods once we saw each other (actually, Viv, when are you NOT in a wacky mood?? :P) but we also were able to be serious and have heart-to-heart conversations. However, even though Viv's personality didn't really change much, boy, did she ever look different!! Viv lost a whole bunch of weight (Viv, you need to pack some more meat back on, man!) and her eyes were so different! She looked good but I'm tellin' ya, if I had run into her on the street or something, I wouldn't have been able to recognize her! But anyway, the important thing is, SHE didn't change and that's all that matters. I had such a good time when she was here (our HK get-togethers were so much fun and kinda of reminiscent of 3 years ago...) that I felt really sad when she left again. Who knows when we'll see her again?? Wait-- oh yeah, we all promised we'd get together for our 5th year anniversary in two years, right?? *wink*
Ok, I know I'm rambling on now and at this point, probably nobody is reading anymore but that's ok... I think I know why I was so sad yesterday. I was sad because of changes... Changes in relationships, in particular. I wasn't sad just for myself but also some of my friends who also were going through changes in their relationships. And by "relationships" I don't just mean the romantic type but also the friendship type. It's sad to see relationships that we once thought were solid and never gonna change, would actually change. So much for "You'll always be a good friend to me." *sigh*
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Yes, yes, it's been awhile, so to those who continue to log into my website to see what I'm up to, I apologize but also thank you for still caring! :P Anyway, as you might have guessed, it's been incredibly busy for the past while and as a result, I'm always coming home exhausted and drained. Thus, this website has been put on the back burner...
Well, as you might remember from my last entry, I'm currently doing my internship and last time when I wrote about it, I had wanted to complain and complain about my mentor teacher. However, since then, my mentor teacher has improved and started to realize that although I do have tons of teaching experience under my belt and that I am doing my M.A., it doesn't mean that she gets to dump all the work on me while SHE gets paid for it! :S So, after we had a talk about that, things have been falling into place and even though I'm just as busy, I'm finally able to enjoy it and love it. My students are wonderful kids, though they're far from being perfect! Let me tell you, to teach these kids is to be a broken record--- you have to repeat yourself at least 20 times before they will finally listen to the instructions and STILL, you get some kids going, "What do we have to do, Ms. Ng?" Arggghhhhhhhh!!!!! At times like those, you really got to physical restrain yourself from throttling them! ;)
Besides school-- actually, what do I mean, "Besides school"?? I have no other life other than school!!-- I think that with each day, I'm becoming a better person. I don't mean that in the sense that I should be getting nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize or something. I'm becoming a better person because I feel myself becoming more and more healthy in terms of my emotions. I feel myself becoming more sure of myself and prouder of myself and who I am. I don't think I could have said the same thing, say, like 5 years ago . I think that I've finally realized that happiness comes within myself and that I shouldn't expect someone else to give it to me. Before, Iwould always hope that someone will come and save me and make me a better person but now, I realize that that's not what should happen. We all have an obligation to ourselves to love ourselves.
That said, I have to admit, I still think about the past every once in awhile. I don't have the same feelings as I did before but I still relish in the fact that I have these incredibly happy memories of that short period of time years ago. Those memories are sufficient; I don't need that person anymore because everything has changed. Those memories are my wealth and nobody can take those memories away from me.
P.S. If you're reading this and starting to worry about me, please don't. I am honestly very happy right now; those above words were simply my insights that I have acquired during the past few weeks. :)
P.P.S. I owe birthday shout outs to Kendrick (the 11th), Jane (the 19th), and to Berlyn (wherever you are in your worldy travels--- you lucky duck!), whose birthday is today ! :D May all of you enjoy happy, healthy and full lives!
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