7-17-02 - Life Decision
7-16-02 - GAY CLUB Rules
7-15-02 - Cell Phone Roulette
7-12-02 - Friday Thoughts
7-9-02 - Vacation Rules
7-5-02 - Threesome Etiquette
7-2-02 - More Reader's Mail
7-1-02 - The Tubing Trip
6-28-02 - Guest on Cheating
6-27-02 - Semi-Political Ramblings
6-25-02 - Ode to the Marquis
6-21-02 - The It Factor
6-20-02 - Some More Ramblings
6-17-02 - Reader Mail
6-14-02 - Encore, Please
6-13-02 - Birthday Thoughts
6-11-02 - Soccer Masturbation
6-8-02 - Objective Ratings
6-6-02 -Thursday Thoughts
6-5-02 - World Cup Bandwagon Jumping
6-4-02 - Mayer, Comfortable
6-3-02 - Mayer, City Love
5-30-02 - Thursday Thoughts
5-29-02 - Memorial Day Weekend
5-23-02 - Thursday Random Thoughts
5-20-02 - NBA Lottery
ARCHIVES
Confession: I wrote the last four columns in succession on Wednesday afternoon, so the dates are completely false. Sue me, at least I was prolific for a change.
Here is an idea for a good time: Next time some one innocently asks "How are you?", look them in the eye and describe your irritating jock itch in great detail.
Here's another one: Next time you get on a crowded elevator, face the wrong direction and stare directly at one person without saying anything. And drool.
Went to a Bob Schneider concert last Friday night. The show had lots of things working against it...I was tired, in a rotten mood, the venue was the hottest I'd ever been in, and the rest of my party was a lot drunker than I. (Balancing everyone's level of drunkness is the always key to a good time). Despite all of this, I thoroughly enjoyed the show. The guy is just great on stage. He plays in Houston regularly (the next time is on the 26th) and anyone and every one should check him out.
There is no worse feeling than being the weak link on a two-man team. Especially when you cost your team a win, and a bet.
After you go see Road to Perdition, tell me. I saw it and had some very conflicted thoughts about it...I'm looking to both trumpet it and bitch about it with someone.
Do you know what one unfortunate, often over-looked side effect of drinking is? Well let me lay out an example...After a night out of drinking, a once in a lifetime event occurs. Yes, a girl agrees to go home with you. All is great, until you awake groggily next to her the next morning. You quickly realize that you have a problem...you are about to be hit by a case of the Beer Farts. You know you can't hold them in indefinitely, so you make a trip to the restroom to attempt a release. Thinking you have succeeded, you return to bed. Uh oh, there are more. You can't continually make runs to the bathroom (this is nearly equally off-putting) so you decide to take the plunge. Hoping she is asleep, you stealthily attempt to release a silent test fart to gauge the damage. If it is bad, you can always blame it on the dog...that is one of the many reasons they are man't best friend. You begin to unclench.... and it all comes out. She isn't asleep, no way you're blaming that one on Fido. Not only is there not going to be a return engagement, she will likely tell your horrfying story on the walls of all of the bathrooms of your favorite bars. Damn the Beer Farts.
This whole unemployment thing isn't all it is cracked up to be. I get more reading done, but I'm also bored and restless. And no money comes in. Everyone else is at work. What I need is an unemployed play buddy, or despite my best intentions, I'm going to start working for my dad tomorrow just to help fill the time.
Dave emailed me today to tell me that Brompton Court is for sale. I'm not really sure what to make of that information.
Again, free Todd Snider concert tonight (Thursday) at the Garden in the Heights...everyone should go.
Long overdue sports take...I think I'm probably alone here, but I think it was a good idea to end the All-Star game as a tie. Sure, they should have had some kind of back-up tiebreaker scenario in place, sure they should have named an MVP, but in the situation they were in, they had no real choice but to stop the game. You couldn't throw out the pitchers' arms on short rest and possibly affect their performance later in the season. Except there likely will be a strike and no "later in the season."
I almost am always aware ahead of time when I am about to make a bad decision, but for some reason, I do not usually stop myself. The fact that I'm self-aware enough to usually know what is best for me is a good thing, certainly. But doesn't it make me doubly culpable when I choose the bad option? Aren't I worse than the guy who just makes an honest mistake? I am almost always aware when I'm about to make an "honest mistakes".
I'm going to the wiener dog races at the dog track.in a couple weeks...some things you just know are going to be columns before they even happen.
1) "Relative Ways" -...and you will know us by the Trail of the Dead
2) "Strange Condition" - Pete Yorn
3) "Paul Revere" - Beastie Boys
4) "Your Pretty when I'm Drunk" - Bloodhound Gang
5) "Somebody's Cryin'" - Chris Isaak
6) "Clap Your Hands" - Black Eyed Peas
7) "So Long" - Guster
8) "Royalty" - Gang Starr
9) "What's Wrong with Me" - N.E.R.D.
10) "I'm a monster" - Ours
High Fidelity DVD
Happy 100th B-Day card for my 11-year-old brother
New Wet Swiffer Pads
Royal Tenenbaums DVD
Skim Milk w/ 7-19 exp. date
