- John Mayer, Comfortable
June 3, 2002 - Since I have started writing this column, I have occasionally touched upon qualities that I find attractive in women. Since it has all been piecemeal, I figure that it is necessary to put it all under one column. This is always a topic that is much debated, but let me clarify that this is the perfect girl for me. No girl will fit every category here, no one expects perfection. So here are the 15 qualities I look for, in list form (because it is easier to write, but in no particular rank order), my definition of the Perfect Girl:
1) Has to be Smart - I'm not kissing up, this really is number one. If a girl can't challenge me, I get bored easily
2) Amzing Eyes - Some guys are breast men, leg men, butt men ,etc. For me, it is all in the eyes. No particular color is necessary, but I have to see something sparkling behind them.
3) Some Pop Culture Knowledge - You have to know the bare basics in music, tv, movies, and sports. Brief quiz: Have you heard of the Strokes, A Tribe Called Quest, or The White Stripes? Do you believe HBO has the best TV? Have you seen a movie that is currently out other than Spiderman or Star Wars? Do you know one of the teams in either the NHL or NBA finals? 2 or less equals failure, 3 is a low pass, 4 for 4 puts you near the head of the class.
4) Must Love Animals - I'm not looking for a vegan or a girl with a pet, just someone who will leave skid marks if an animals runs in front of the car.
5) Open Minded - Can believe anything she wants to believe, but must at least believe that everything is open to debate.
6) Natural Beauty - Before you dismiss me as shallow, give me a chance to explain. It is like the lyric that starts this column, I want a girl who does not fear being seen w/o makeup, in jeans, a ponytail, and a baggy sweatshirt. For some reason, that can be more sexy than high heels and a short skirt.
7) Can't be too Fat - Ok, now you can dismiss me as shallow. And hypocritical. In my (admittedly slight) defense, I'm not talking size 6 or 8 fat like Dave does. I just don't want a girl bigger than me.
8) The whole Virgin-Whore thing - I'm pretty convinced that this is what most guys want. A "good girl" who isn't so good when she is with you. Even if it an illusion, it makes a guy feel good about himself.
9) Can't be too good - I want a girl who knows how to swear when necessary. I'm not talking Sandra Bernhard here, just someone whom I don't have to walk on eggshells around.
10) Mild Body Alterations - A nose, eyebrow, tongue, or belly button piercing is sooooooooooooo sexy. So is a circumspect tatoo.
11) Not Too Religious - I don't have any problem with anyone who is very religious, I respect someone who believes in something that strongly. But anyone too religious would get tired of me after a while.
12) Must be comfortable anywhere - I want a girl who can hang out with my boys at a wings place, or with my family at a suburban dinner party, or with be at an upscale cocktail party and never bat an eyelash
13) A Flirt - I want a girl who knows how, and when, to flirt. Is too much fun not too.
14) She must have cool friends - I want her to be able to go out with her friends and have a great time and I want to be able to hang out with her friends and have a great time.
15) Overflowing Confidence - I am moody, arrogant, manipulative, and need a lot of space. If a girl does not have an ego, she won't be able to handle it.
6-3-02 - Mayer, City Love
5-30-02 - Thursday Thoughts
5-29-02 - Memorial Day Weekend
5-23-02 - Thursday Random Thoughts
5-20-02 - NBA Lottery
5-19-02 - Reader's mail
5-18-02 - New Cow Theory
5-17-02 - Graduation
5-16-02 - More Ramblings
5-10-02 - Marriage, Ugh
5-9-02 - Thursday Ramblings
5-8-02 - Inflatable Goats
5-7-02 - Temporary Fan Status
5-6-02 - Dinner Party
5-5-02 - Reader Mail
5-4-02 - Cast of Characters
5-3-02- Man HQ Memo
ARCHIVES
1) "Passing Me By" - The Pharcyde
2) "Mr. E's Beautiful Blues" - The Eels
3) "Die, All Right" - The Hives
4) "Sex Supreme" - Tenacious D
5) "Agenda Suicide" - The Faint
6) "Two Coins" - Dispatch
7) "Rebirth of Slick" - Digible Planets
8) "The Light" - Common
9) "Where is my mind" - The Pixies
10) "You Got Me" - The Roots
Bills d. Oilers 1992
Benson d. Northwest 1996
Braves d. Astros, Game 3, 1999
Jazz d. Rockets, Game 6, 1996
Weiss d. Lovett, Freshmen Football, 1997
