5-16-02 - More Ramblings
5-10-02 - Marriage, Ugh
5-9-02 - Thursday Ramblings
5-8-02 - Inflatable Goats
5-7-02 - Temporary Fan Status
5-6-02 - Dinner Party
5-5-02 - Reader Mail
5-4-02 - Cast of Characters
5-3-02- Man HQ Memo
5-2-02 - THURSDAY RAMBLINGS
5-1-01- To Britney or not to Britney
4-30-02 -Top 5
4-29-02 - Shotgun Rules
ARCHIVES
FRIDAY:
8:15 PM - Arrive at Fogo de Chao to meet friends, family for massive dinner. My divorced parent will be there, along with my brother, grandfather, half-siblings Meaghan, 13, Jimmy, 10, and Cole, 5. Kiley and her sister Courtney, who all of my friends lust after are both there. We are met by Chris and Amy, Nick and his family, and the siblings Rammage complete with parents. My group 11, everyone else 9.
8:50 PM - Finally seated. This is an all you can eat meat place, for you uninitiated. Nick is the odds-on favorite to eat the most, I'd pick myself to place, my brother Jimmy to show.
8:52 PM - My brother Cole proclaims Kiley is his girlfriend.
8:55 - 9:05 - Am asked four different times what I am doing next year...I needed to have a tape-recorded response ready for these occasions
9:02 - My grandfather casually mentions in passing that my grandmother is dying., but she isn't doing it fast enough. I love my grandpa, but talk about odd moments and poor timing.
9:10 PM - Cole continues kissing and groping Kiley.
9:20 PM - Nick's mom is seated next to my dad and across from me. She asks me loudly, "Did you have a good time Las Vegas?" Innocent question, right? Well, it would have been, but my dad did not know I went to Vegas. I try to play dumb as if I wasn't there, until she calls me out, "I saw the pictures of all of you, it looked like so much fun!"
9:25 PM - Kiley and Cole come back from the bathroom. Kiley looks flushed, Cole is smoking a candy cigarette.
9:45 PM - After numerous attempted subject changes, the subject of Vegas finally dies. My dad's eyes are burning a hole through me by now.
9:55 PM Cole shows everyone the moon birth mark on his tummy.
10:15 PM Time to leave..real nice time. Much to everyone's surprise, Chris is our surprisie eating champ...the stomach of a champion.
10:18 PM Cole tells everyone Kiley is his favorite person in the whole world.
10:45 PM - Lovett sundeck party. Free alcohol, most of the next days graduates, the usual cast of alums, the type of party I can't wait to get away from.
10:50 PM - First of three guys come up to me asking who Kiley's sister is.
11:00 - 11:45 PM -Surprisingly having a good time...am aske 4 more times what I am doing next year. Catch up with those people I actually like.
SATURDAY:
12:10 AM - Alex and I spend fifteen minutes perplexed by the mystery of how to open a bottle of champagne.
12:30 AM - Go upstairs with Rammages, Susan, Michelle. Am told by Kiley not to "accidently have sex". Asure her it won't be a problem.
12:45 AM - Watch girls drink while not being offered any alcohol;sure no how to mkae me feel special.
1:15 AM - Come back downstairs .Jill is crying, wouldn't be a sundeck party w/o it.
1:30 AM - Intelligent consensus decision is made to go to bar less than thirty minutes before closing.
1:40 AM - Arrive at bar, three drinks are ordered, three ounces are consumed. Good people watchin gthough...
1:55 AM - Unnamed drunken Rice senior, crying hysterically- "I'm not ready to go! I'm not ready to graduate!" Her friends - hysterical laughter
2:10 AM - Regathered our extended group outside. No one wants to go home ,so we decide to go to Michelle's apartment since she has alcohol.
2:20 AM - Jeff calls Blake and asks him to come over. Amazingly, Blake agrees. I can't imagine anybody calling me at home at 2:20 AM and me actually leaving my apartment. Would you? Natalie Portman could booty call me and I still likely wouldn't leave my place.
2:35 AM - Quote at the top of the page is said.
2:40 AM - Spend next hour and a half watching people attempt to catch popcorn in their mouths. Unfortunately, I'm not even kidding. I'm losing sleep for this? And we pride ourselves on being atypical Rice people. At least there were topless pictures of the host and friends for our coffee table enjoyment.
4:30 - I fall asleep...my alarm is set for 6:15. Oversleeping gradaution isn't oo bad, right?
6:15 AM - Somehow managed to awake with the alarm. Groggily pick up my parents and make it to Rice around 7:15
7:15 AM - Realize I ahve no idea how to put the whole ensemble on. I give it my best shot.
7:30 AM - Am told I failed. Jesse serves as my Fluffer (get your minds out of the gutter) and gets me dressed appropriately.
7:50 AM - Take the most round about way possible to get ourselves in line and ready to go...a quick survey of those around me reassures me that I'm not the only hugover, sleep-deprived future graduate.
8:10 AM - Vaguely remember a large group picture with all of the 5th years - yep, single us out one more time to humiliate us because we are slow.
8:30 AM - Graduation begins, fortunately, no "Pomp and Circumstance.
8:40 AM - Gillis opens with painful Cosby impression. Continues to butchers two words in opening speech, saying veternarians when he meant vegetarians and calling Rice an elite institution when he meant to say Ivy safety.
8:48 AM - Highly Anticipated Bill Cosby speech begins.
8:50 AM - Rambles about dreams he had while smoking pot. Mimicks his grandfather endlessly, struggling elusively for a coherent theme. Tells us people without a diploma are still better than us "rotten kids"
9:20 AM - Cosby mercifully leaves the stage. Gillis thanks him and announces that Mr.Cosby has to leave because of a pressing engagement. A pressing engagement at 9:30 on a SATURDAY morning in a city where you know few people? What is it, a tee time?
9:25 AM - Starts with reading the names of all graduate students. Fun drinking games, drink every time the reader butchers a name. Such classic names as, I kid you not, Yue Pu (EWE-A Poo)) and Yuh-Long Hwang (U don't need any help).
9:40 AM - Rima: I'm going to start showing a lot of leg
Me: OK
Rima: Do you want to see my scar:
Me: Why?
Rima: There is nothing better to do.
10:15 AM - Undergraduate finally start to graduate. The baker College master thanks all of the Baker graduates and telling them to come back often .Jesse adds, "But don't hit on our freshmen, because that just sick"
10:55 AM - I walk across stage. I don't trip. Eric is at the end of the stage and says, and I quote, "Nice of you to come back to sit with Kiley, Glenn." Glad I made an impression on you Eric.
11:10 PM - Confirm that diploma is actually rolled up in there. It is. I made it, no matter how anticlimatic it all is.. College was a great experience, but I am glad it is all over
1) "Josie" - Blink 182
2) "About a Girl" - Nirvana
3) "Hello Operator" - The White Stripes
4) "Lisa"- Phantom Planet
5) "Rock Star" - N.E.R.D.
6) "Country Death Song"-Violent Femmes
7) "Wiggle my Dizzy Stick" - Bob Schneider
8) "Bombonyall" - Quannum
9) "Things I've seen" - Spooks
10) "NYC Cops" The Strokes
The Real World
Tough Enough
Dismissed
Survivor
E! True Hollywood Story
