5-6-02 - Dinner Party
5-5-02 - Reader Mail
5-4-02 - Cast of Characters
5-3-02- Man HQ Memo
5-2-02 - THURSDAY RAMBLINGS
5-1-01- To Britney or not to Britney
4-30-02 -Top 5
4-29-02 - Shotgun Rules
4-28-02 - Vegas, Baby, Vegas
4-27-02 - Brief Intro
Mr. Mark Cuban
American Airlines Center
2500 Victory Lane
Dallas, TX 75219
Dear Mr. Cuban,
I would like to congratulate you on your team's victory last night over the Sacramento Kings to even the series at one game apiece. I am writing you today to request that you grant me a "Temporary Fan Pass" for your Dallas Mavericks for the duration of their current playoff run. Normally, I am a die-hard Rockets fan, but over the last few years, I have been dying very slowly. I haven't had the NBA playoffs in my life since I was in high school, and the withdrawal has left me aimless.
If the Dallas Mavericks were any normal team, this would not be an issue. The Mavs, though, have awaken me from five years of NBA apathy. As you know, they play the most exciting brand of basketball available...with the help of the Kings, they are shaking the NBA out of its decade-long descent into thug-ball. Nash, Dirk, Finley, Najera, Finley, Nick the Quick, the 56 year-old Johnny Newman...hell, even Wang. You gotta love these guys. Not only do I love them, but I owe them as well...they won me $150 last month.
Let me reiterate, I am only asking for a "Temporary Fan Pass", not a full-fledged "Bandwagon Pass". I have always despised those bandwagon fans...you know th e type. The guy who roots for the Yankees even though he has no NY connection...the former Bulls fans who has traded in Michael's #23 for Kobe #8...anybody who started rooting for the least likeable team ever, the Atlanta Braves, around 1991. As you know, temporary fanship is totally different than regular fanship. First of all, I will return to obsessing over the Rockets two first round picks once the Mavs are eliminated. If the Mavs do win the championship, I do not have any gloating privileges, nor am I allowed to celebrate as loudly as the fans who have been true since the Triple J years, let alone those who have been around since the Ro Blackman, Aguirre, and Tarpley teams of the late eighties. All temporary fanship grants me is the right to root hard, loud, and drunkenly for the Mavs, a reason to care about the NBA playoffs again, and the opportunity to feel a part of the fan culture again.
I have attached my fan resume for your consideration.
Best wishes for the playoffs,
Glenn
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I hope you all caught the game last night...it was so much fun to watch. Van Exel held them in for a half, Lafrentz actually showed up, and Nash took over in the 2nd half. God, I hope this goes 7.
1) "Alright Guy" - Todd Snider
2) "Firecracker" - Ryan Adams
3) "The Same Boy You've Always Been" - The White Stripes
4) "Dope Nose"- Weezer
5) "Renegade" - Eminem & Jay Z (who's still overrated)
6) "Talk Her Down" - Starsailor
7) "Ball & Chain" - Sublime
8) "Bridging the Gaps" - Black Eyed Peas
9) "Holland, 1945" - Neutral Milk Hotel (thanks JW)
10) "Take it or Leave It" The Strokes
Shortstop, Houston Astros
Lead Singer of a Semi-Famous Band
Sports-Entertainment Journalist
MLB General Manager
Owner/Bartender at a tourist trap in the Cayman Islands.
