7-15-02 - Cell Phone Roulette
7-12-02 - Friday Thoughts
7-9-02 - Vacation Rules
7-5-02 - Threesome Etiquette
7-2-02 - More Reader's Mail
7-1-02 - The Tubing Trip
6-28-02 - Guest on Cheating
6-27-02 - Semi-Political Ramblings
6-25-02 - Ode to the Marquis
6-21-02 - The It Factor
6-20-02 - Some More Ramblings
6-17-02 - Reader Mail
6-14-02 - Encore, Please
6-13-02 - Birthday Thoughts
6-11-02 - Soccer Masturbation
6-8-02 - Objective Ratings
6-6-02 -Thursday Thoughts
6-5-02 - World Cup Bandwagon Jumping
6-4-02 - Mayer, Comfortable
6-3-02 - Mayer, City Love
5-30-02 - Thursday Thoughts
5-29-02 - Memorial Day Weekend
5-23-02 - Thursday Random Thoughts
5-20-02 - NBA Lottery
5-19-02 - Reader's Mail
5-18-02 - New Cow Theory
ARCHIVES
TO: A Select Group of Men
FROM: A Remote Off-Shoot of Man HQ, San Francisco, CA.
Greetings,
If you are reading this memo, then you likely already know all about its contents. The following is to be repeated to no one, under penalty of expulsion from the club and loss of all other privileges. Everything below is a hard and fast rule, it cannot be broken, it cannot be negotiated. The following are the rules to one of the most exclusive societies known to man, and only man. Below...are the rules...to GAY CLUB:
1) The first rule of GAY CLUB is that you do not talk about GAY CLUB.
2) The second rule of GAY CLUB is that you DO NOT TALK ABOUT GAY CLUB!
3) If this is your first time at GAY CLUB, you are a taker. Giving is not allowed until your third GAY CLUB activity.
4) Any member of GAY CLUB witnessed pursuing unsanctioned heterosexual activities will be immediately expelled from GAY CLUB.
5) All active members of GAY CLUB must lunch with other members at a restaurant such as La Strada or Benjy's at least once every ten days.
6) Members of GAY CLUB must exchange small gifts with other members of GAY CLUB at every social "outing".
7) GAY CLUB members must act particularly homophobic when in the presence of all non-club members.
8) When GAY CLUB gathers for especially flaming activities, such as watching comedy specials, one girl may be present to serve as a "beard" for the whole group.
8) Long, group GAY CLUB showers are required after all moderately strenuous activities. This is seen as socially acceptable.
9) When group outings are organized to movies such as Enough or Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, GAY CLUB members must arrive separately, purchase tickets to movies like Blade II, but sit together in the theatre with the arm rests in the upright position.
10) When in the presence of non-GAY CLUB members, GAY CLUB is to be referred to as GAYNGSTER CLUB.
11) New members of GAY CLUB are not admitted until thoroughly examined and broken in by me, the GAY CLUB founder and president.
I hope this list of rules clears up any and all problems that we are currently experiencing with the rapid expansion of GAY CLUB. Please commit this list to memory, then destroy it so that it does not fall into the wrong hands. Any member found breaking the above rules will be severely sanctioned, then expelled, by GAY CLUB lieutenants Kevin, Blake and Glenn. If there are any disputes, they will be decided by me.
Hugs and licks,
Jefe
GAY CLUB Founder & President
1) "Relative Ways" -...and you will know us by the Trail of the Dead
2) "Strange Condition" - Pete Yorn
3) "Paul Revere" - Beastie Boys
4) "Your Pretty when I'm Drunk" - Bloodhound Gang
5) "Somebody's Cryin'" - Chris Isaak
6) "Clap Your Hands" - Black Eyed Peas
7) "So Long" - Guster
8) "Royalty" - Gang Starr
9) "What's Wrong with Me" - N.E.R.D.
10) "I'm a monster" - Ours
The Strokes
D'Angelo
Bob Schneider
Weezer, Tenacious D, Jimmy Eat World
Old 97's (1999)
