Unfuckingfortunately, 2006 ended with extreme stress causing 2007 to begin with extreme stress, thanks to getting the New Year off to an "inspection" invasion of my apartment, which I found out about on December 30 because there is a problem with bugs in the building.  I had to take all the clutter off the fucking floor, take everything out of the closets, clean off the counter and clean behind the refrigerator and stove.  Cleaning behind the refrigerator would be impossible.  I would rather have the fucking bugs than go through all this fucking bullshit!  I had to spend so many hours on New Year's Eve taking and picking shit off the floor and moving it to another location.  I had to work on New Year's Day at 8AM and that fucking sucks.  The manager can be a fucking cunt at times and she bitched about me not answering the phone, when it rang, while I was busy ringing up customers.  I wish that I could take that fucking phone and smash it with a fucking hammer!  I went to the atheist group that had the happy hour buffet afterwards and the fucking bastards didn't have any chicken wings and that fucking sucks!  I then had to take the shit from the apartment that was making so much clutter and put it in an undislosed temporary location.  I worked on weather records on January 2, but later in the day, I had to continue cleaning up in here.  I failed to get everything done before they showed up shortly after 1PM and the fucker from the exterminating company said that there was plenty of bait for the bugs on the counter, which really bugs me, but at least things weren't bad enough to get any other further harassment from the landlord.  I had a temporary form of major relief, but that caused me so much fucking anxiety, I ended up getting a fucking cold with a bad cough and I mush have had a mild form of the flu because I felt very icky for a couple of days, which lasted until January 8 before things began to get a little bit better. That same fucking cunt who bitched about me not answering the phone threatens to write me up because I got low on change in my drawer and if it happens again, she was going to write me up adding to my unwanted fucking stress.  Then on January 27, another manager threatens to write me up because I didn't tell a manager about going on my fucking lunch break.  I was fucking hungry! That same fucking prick threatened to write me up on January 27, 2006 (what a fucking way to celebrate the 1 year anniversary!) for hiding overstock of groceries behind other items and he got all "pissy" because it wasted his time, having to take it back to the stock room.  He's 1 of these mediocre type assholes who acts calm because he's probably wigged out on Quaaludes to cope with how unhappy he is because he lets this society of puke and vomit decide for him how to live his life, so he takes it out on me.  Also, his wife was pregnant and popped a brat out of her twat.  I often wonder, how does he fuck his wife and how does he talk about it when he decides to fuck her?  Also, what does he say to her when her cunt stinks?  Because he's 1 of these calm uptight mediocre assholes, he probably says, "honey, I noticed that you have an unpleasant odor coming from down there, will you please wash it?  Then my pretty little pecker will be ready for you, honey."  If that's not enough fucking shit, the weather was very cold with an temperature of 11 and a windchill of -6 and I got frostbite after walking to the car when coming back from the winter carnival in St. Paul.  My fucking left hand had turned white.  The good news is I only had minor frostbite and my hand recovered within a couple of days.  2007 sure as hell is getting off to a shit start and not only that, I get the dreadful things that things may turn to extreme shit this year, especially during the 2nd half of the year!  The only good news is at least New Year's Eve turned out better than what I was afraid of.  For the 1st time in 10 years, Girth and Mirth, the organization for gay fat men did not have a New Year's Eve party and that fucking sucked.  They had a holiday party on December 10, 2006, but I would have rather that they had had a New Year's Eve Party, instead.  I did go to New Year's Eve party at a new age church and they had drumming. Better yet, they had lots of good food to eat, including spaghetti.  At least that helped get 2007 off to a good start for a few hours at least!

   In a lot of ways, things looked promising when 2006 got started, but then they turned to shit.  After reading Barbara Sher's Wishcraft book in 2005 and the beginning of 2006, I tried to e-mail a couple of people from their website, which has someone to e-mail from most states and I e-mailed the woman in Minnesota and the fucking cunt never bothered to e-mail me back.  That fucking piece of shit fucking bitch!  The reason that these people are there is because they are supposed to fucking help people with their questions.  It's because of this fucking bullshit as to a major reason that I didn't get very far in 2006 along with confusion, not enough fucking time and not knowing how to manage time.  

    My 1st performance at balls during 2007 was on January 21 and Joon read into a cell phone reading a piece called, Why Satan Causes Women's Cunts to Stink and it didn't go over nearly as well as it did when she read on November 27, 2005 and my 19th anniversary of moving to Florida.  I could tell that Leslie was very disgusted with hearing this and probably couldn't figure out how a woman could say such "hateful" things about women and their bodies.  A lot of people laughed at the beginning, but I guess they got disgusted as she kept going on and on with being so "vulgar".  The good news is a couple of people continued to laugh throughout the whole thing.  Also, a couple of guys who looked like they are around 18-19 years old told me that they really liked it and thought that it was funny.  That at least gives me some hope that there are at least some cool, open minded and intelligent people amongst the younger generation!  I was so afraid that I would experience a repeat on of what happened on September 16, 2006 when Leslie had that talk with me about how it upsets her when I say "hateful" things towards women when I would do my next spoken word on February 18, 2007, but I didn't show up early that day.  Not only that, I was 10 minutes late.  Not to avoid getting "talked' to but because everything fucked up causing me to run late.  I decided to talk about healing on February 18 and it went over fairly well.  Because I was late, I had to tell Leslie that I was there and I didn't go on until after 1AM.  Way later than usual.  The next performance that I did at balls was on 18 or shortly after midnight on St. Patrick's Day in which I talked about when I found out that my father died on March 2.  I focussed on many of the experiences that I had that sucked, but to be fair and balanced and I concluded by talking about some of the good things that I had with my parents.  I'm not sure how well it went over because despite the humor, I didn't get a lot of laughs and it was more serious than many other things that I have read.  Leslie told me that she was sorry to hear about what happened to my father.  My next performance at balls was on April 29 when I was finally able to do my rant blaming Laura Ingalls for 911 and I think that it went over better than anything else that I had ever done!  Unfuckingfortunately, there wasn't enough time to do the whole thing, so I had to split it up into 2 parts and I did part II of 911 Truth on May 27 and unfucking fortunately, it didn't go over nearly as well, but I spent more time explaining the facts from the evidence that I heard, instead of going into the shocking comical aspects of it, such as Dick Cheney shitting out diarrhea in Osama Bin Ladin's face while he's sucking his cock at Bohemian Grove!  The next thing I did at balls was on June 24 on gay pride day when I did my thing on the Top 10 Reasons Not to have Kids, which was the most controversial and "offensive" thing I had done since Leslie Ball had that "talk" with me about how I offended her on September 16 of last year.  Leslie Ball was not there that day, so her boyfriend, Ocean filled in for her.  At the end of my spoken words, Ocean did exactly what Leslie Ball has done in the past and said, "the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of balls management."  If you read it, I wonder what opinions he didn't agree with it?  The parts in which I said some "offensive" and "vulgar" things or all of it in which I mentioned kids becoming autistic because the government puts Mercury in the vaccines.  Did he not agree with what I said about bullying in the schools!  I asked Joon about that and maybe he thinks that kids who are different deserve to be picked on and tormented by those pieces of filth?  To my surprise, I was expecting this thing to bomb and most people would hate it, but most of the people in the audience really enjoyed hearing what I had to say and I got a lot of Laughs as well!  Just another strong indicator that the world really needs to hear my message!  When I read my thing to Joon, she told me that it was the best thing that she has heard me do, ever!  I had to wait until August 12 to do my next thing at balls because most of July was dedicated to the Fringe Festival shows.  I got to see some of their shows in 2003 and most of them sucked.  The only good show I saw was called, I got a Republican up my Ass!  Suffice if to say, I could not express my vision to the world because they had to dedicate for shows that not only cost money, but they probably suck as well!  It was a test of what Fringe Shows that may be good to pay the $5 and see previews, but I get a feeling that most of them sucked and probably none of them came close to being as good as the material that I do!  Well anyway, the biggest thing and disaster to happen since I moved to Minnesota in 1994 was the 35W Bridge Collapse on August 1, so I decided to read my tribute to that incident at balls on August 12.  I didn't get very many laughs and it didn't go over very well, but a lot of it may have to do with a very low turnout that night, which significantly lowers my chances of running into someone who's cool.  I did my tribute to the 35W Bridge Collapse at Kieran's on August 21 and someone told me that he really liked it!  I decided to do my 1979 Retro Flashback at balls on September 23 and it went over quite well and a couple of people told me that they really liked it.  I did a repeat at balls on October 14 and for the 1st time since Leslie had that talk with me on September 16, 2006, she had to leave the room when I did my a repeat of my rant against breeding that I originally did in June 2003.

   The 1st poetry slam that I read at in 2007 was on January 23 and I paid tribute to Gerald Ford who croaked the day after Christmas and I got a score of 21.9 and I was in last place and I wasn't able to move onto the 2nd round and that fucking sucks!  The good news is a couple of people told me that that was the best thing that they had ever heard me do because I had stayed focussed on Gerald Ford's naked dead body in a crack house and I didn't keep drifting to other things.  The problem is that's how my writing kind of happens to be with a lot of things.  Even George Carlin will deviate from the subject that he's talking about to bring something else up!  I decided to go to the poetry slam at Artist Quarter for the 1st time since April 3, 2006 on February 5 and I did my tribute to Gerald Ford in the 1st round and the judges were fucking assholes and gave me a low score of 18.9, but things went better in the 2nd when I did my rant about how I like Alex Jones and Dave Von Kliest who talked about how the government carried out the September 11, 2001 terrorists attacks themselves, but I am pissed because they are both born again Christians who have bitched about there being too much smut on tv, which pissed me off.  I got a better score of 24.4, but unfuckingfortunately, it wasn't enough for me to be able to move onto the 2nd round. There wasn't a poetry slam on February 13 because of the erotic slam on Valentine's Day, but there was an anti-Valentine's Day open mike.  I decided to do my rant against the fucking cunt who wined, pissed and moaned who's husband was "addicted" to pornography.  Of course to get me further riled up, she popped a brat out her twat.  It was extremely "offensive", but I managed to come in 1st place and win $14!  On Valentine's Day at the erotic poetry slam, I did a sexually explicit story math problem, which was about 2 brothers who beat off and figuring out which 1 will shoot out the most spurts of sperm out their cocks when they beat off.  I got a score of 25 and actually came on 4th place!  That was the best score that I had gotten during an erotic poetry slam!  I was able to move onto the 2nd round, but everyone was able to move on to the 2nd round.  During the 2nd round, I did my thing that I read at the erotic poetry slam on Valentines Day 2006 about Satan Causing Shit to Stink and only got an 18 and wasn't able to move onto the 3rd round and that fucking sucks!  The poetry slam after that was on February 28 when I talked about my recent rampage at Cub Foods because some fucking asshole started shit with me for "wasting his precious" time in line and he called me a "girl" and a "bitch".  I got a score of 23.2, which may not seem too bad, but I came in last place and unfuckingfortunately, I wasn't able to move onto the 2nd round.  The poetry slam after that was at the Artists Quarter on March 5 when I decided to do my thing about my recent rampage at Cub Foods on February 24.  The judges were fucking assholes and I got a score of 16.7 and in the 2nd round I did my rant about my blood pressure and things were a little bit better and I got a score of 18.  Unfuckingfortunately, I wasn't able to move onto the 3rd round.  There was someone there who I would say was somewhat judgmental of me and wanted to know if I was a loner because of my extreme rants.  I told him that most people suck, but I enjoy hanging out with like minded people. The poetry slam after that was on March 13 and I was supposed to mention something about being Irish because it was close to St. Patrick's Day.  The only thing that I was able to think of was to read about how I wish Jesse Ventura was governor and the only reason that I had thought of that is because he said that the streets in St. Paul were designed by a bunch of drunken Irish!  I got a score of 20.9 and I was able to move onto the 2nd round only because the # of poets who signed up was low enough and everyone was able to move onto the 2nd round.  I decided to read my Living Will, which was in really bad taste and I got a score of 20.4 and unfuckingfortunately, I wasn't able to move onto the 3rd round.  The next poetry slam after that and my last chance to go to the National Poetry Slam in Austin, Texas in August was on March 28.  I decided to do my rant about rock n roll stars along with artists who die at a young age and the judges were fucking assholes and gave me a low score and my total score was 19.3, but I was able to move onto the 2nd round and I read the same thing that I read last year during my final chance to go to Austin, Texas for the National Poetry Slam in which I talked about Alex Jones who is in Austin, Texas.  I mentioned that the world will end if I did not get selected to the slam team and get to go to Austin, Texas.  Well, I came in 1st place during the 2nd round and got a score of 28.7, but it was too little too fucking late, because of cumulative scoring I came in last place because of the low score that I got in the !st round.   The next poetry slam that I went to was on May 22, which was reading other people's poems.  I got to read other people's stuff and they got to read mine.  I covered Heather's poem in the 1st round and Ezra's in the 2nd round.  Meanwhile, Wonder Dave got to read my rant against Oprah and he said that he had difficulty at getting to say the word "cunt".  I can't understand why people have to be so uptight on certain things?  Some woman who I can't remember her name got to read my rant against Cathy the cunt, who fired me, unjustifiably from my job and she was at least able to handle saying the word "cunt".  Unfuckingfortunately, I didn't make it to the 3rd round reading other people's material and for some strange fucking coincidence, my thing about having sex with Jon Benet Ramsy's dead body was the only poem that didn't get to get read at all.I couldn't read at any of the poetry slams during April 2007 because I didn't make to the finals to be able to go onto Austin, Texas and that fucking sucks.  The next poetry slam after that was the slam with props on June 4 and I decided to have Joon read her thing about Satan Causing Woman's Cunts to Stink through Ezra's cell phone There were some problems.  I would have had to wait until after 9PM to have Joon speak because it would cost Ezra money.  I was set up to be the 6th person to go on and I asked the host Matthew Rucker if I could wait if I was to go before 9PM.  Well, he said that if I was called before 9PM and don't go up, then I miss my chance and I can't go later.  What a fucking prick!  At least I was able to go on after 9PM, but there were problems because the microphone was turned off on me for going over time in which that shit had happened before on October 21, 2002, but it was caused because I had problems figuring out how to get the speaker phone to work on the cell phone, but that was no fucking excuse because Matthew is a fucking prick!  She was barely able to finish it up before Matthew made me get off the stage.  Things did go over better in the 2nd round when Joon read Behind the Bathroom Door, which quite a few people enjoyed.  Unfuckingfortunately, I can't remember the score, but the judges weren't all that bad and the total score for both of them were somewhere in the 20s.  Unfuckingfortunately, it wasn't high enough to go onto the 3rd round. The next poetry slam after that was the 3-2-1 slam on June 12 and I was going to do a rant that I had written about "sexual abuse" victims in the 1st round, but the 3-2-1 slam meant that I would get 3 minutes in the 1st round, 2 minutes in the 2nd round and 1 minute in the 1st round.  They changed the order around and decided to do the 2 minute round 1st and I hadn't written anything because I thought that they would do the 3 minute round in the 1st round.  I just decided to talk about my 1979 28-year cycle retro flashback and because I hadn't written anything, I didn't do all that great and I got a very low score and I wasn't able to move onto the 2nd round.  I am fucking furious about this fucking bullshit!  They should have had the 3 minute poem in the 1st round, but they fucking changed that and it fucked everything up for me.  I will NEVER EVER go to a fucking 3-2-1 poetry slam again, unless there is a guarantee that they will start out with the 3 minute poem in the 1st round.  If that's not all, I am having to pay $5 for all this bullshit.  They never charged cover to people who perform before,  The good news is I was able to sneak in at the poetry slam on June 12 without having to pay the $5 cover!  I am glad that I was able to sneak through without having to pay because that poetry slam turned out to be the biggest bunch of fucking bullshit that I had ever been to.  Furthermore as this is pending because I wasn't able to move onto the 2nd round, I did not do my rant against "sexual abuse" victims and it is written, but this is probably going to go down as the most controversial thing that I have read ever!  There are risks involved with doing this and I am very worried about what will happen when I finally read this.  I may read my rant against "sexual abuse" victims as early as August 2007 and I might quite possibly read it on 911 2007!  There is a saying that people should go with what their gut feeling says.  I am so sick and fucking tired of hearing this bullshit, that I MUST read this!  So, there are risks involved with reading this shit, so maybe I should chicken out.  If I don't read it, it will make me feel like a coward and if I let that happens, then the bullshit will win.  If I do read it, I run the risk of being harmed by someone who is a fucking asshole.  This leaves me in a dilemma, but I can't be terrorized by a bunch of fucking assholes.  With my rant against "sexual abuse" victims, I am telling like it is and I am telling the truth, so I am afraid that I must go ahead and do this!  In the meantime, the poetry slam after that was the Dead Poet's Slam on June 26 in which I would cover things that were written by people who have croaked!  In the 1st round, I decided to cover Bill Hicks talking about abortion and I got a score of 24.4 and the good news is I was able to move onto the 2nd round in which I covered American Prayer by Jim Morrison and it was less dirty and controversial, but unfuckingfortunately, I got a lower score and I wasn't able to move onto the 3rd round.  "Poetry Slam Idol" was at the Artist Quarter on July 2.  That meant that in the 1st round, I was to do a "bad" poem and perform it as badly as possible.  I decided to read from a mock diary I did when I was a kid about beating off for the 1st time.  They had a panel of 3 people giving feedback and 1 guy told me that I was the last person that he would want to watch masturbate.  I got a score of 9.5, which wasn't low enough, because with that round, the lower the score, the better.  Matthew Rucker said that is the score that I usually get and he said that because he's a stuck up fucking prick!  The 2nd round meant covering someone else's material, so I decided to cover Bill Hicks talking about abortion and the people on the panel liked that better than what I did in the 1st round.  A woman told me that even on American Idol, someone who is controversial can move on for awhile and I was able to strike her as someone who creates controversy! I got a score of 23.5 and unfuckingfortunately, I wasn't able to move onto the 3rd round.  There were a couple of people who were cool who really enjoyed hearing what I had to say and it really makes me high when I talk about shit that most other people who are too cowardly to talk about. The poetry slam after that was on July 10 when they had the "nerd" slam.  In the 1st round, I did a rant about how I became more militant than the other nerds and I got a score of 25.91 and I was able to move onto the 2nd round and I decided to do my rant about wanting to become a weatherman and I got a lower score of 22.05, so it didn't go over as good as what I did in the 1st round, but it may have been because it was too similar of what I did in the 1st round.  Unfuckingfortunately, I didn't score high enough to move onto the 3rd round.  The good news is I at least didn't come in last place for a change as a couple of other people got considerably lower scores than what I had gotten!  My luck went back to shit when Kieran's had "Poetry Slam Idol" on July 23.  I decided to read my mock diary when I wrote about beating off for the 1st time.  There was a panel team giving feedback, just like what they had at the Artists Quarter with 1 of the same people being there who was at Artists Quarter, but there were 2 other people, including a woman who was a film maker and Tom Cassady.  That woman liked it and Tom Cassidy even told me that it was the best thing that he ever heard me do.  The judges gave me a score of 11, which is the highest score that anyone had ever gotten, which is not good because with poetry slam idol, the lower the score in the 1st round, the better.  I was able to move onto the 2nd round and I decided to cover Alex Jones when he opened up for Doug Stanhope and that woman liked it, but Tom Cassidy said there was nothing "poetic" about it.  The judges were a bunch of uptight fucking cunts and they didn't get it and they didn't like it and gave me a score of 14 and not a single judge gave me a good score.  I felt that it was good, but unfuckingfortunately, I didn't meet anyone else who thought that it was good.  I was able to go onto the 3rd round because there was a low turnout, but things got worse.  Also, usually when there is a low turnout, things that I do don't generally go over very good, because that usually means that the people who are there are fucking assholes and there are very few people like it and I stand a MUCH better chance of running into someone who's cool who will really enjoy hearing what I have to say.  I decided to read my story Return of the Living Dead Fetuses and it fucking bombed.  That woman who liked the other 2 things I did said that it was "disturbing", but she said that she would defend my right to say it.  Tom Cassidy said that it was "psychotic, disturbing" and he's surprised that I haven't been incarcerated, and there was nothing "poetic" about it.  1st of all, even if he was joking, even giving a hint that I belong in a concentration camp shithole because my writing is whacked out and extreme really fucking pisses me off.  2nd of all, "nothing poetic about it."  Who fucking cares!  I didn't fit in with his or other people's definition on the "proper" form of poetry.  Tom did like the thing I did about beating off because it fit in more with what other people can relate to, like parents and shit like that.  He mentioned that it was good that people write anti-war things and mentioned that my Alex Jones cover was antiwar, but he said that it wasn't poetry.  I really don't fucking care! Those uptight fucking cunts gave me a horrible score of 7.  Lucky fucking me, but maybe 7 is a lucky number in disguise.  When I did Return of the Living Dead Fetuses on November 9, 2004, I got a 27 when I did it then, so there are times I get to be exposed to people who are cool.  Unfuckingfortunately, it don't happen often enough.  The poetry slam after that was the erotic slam at the Artists Quarteron August 5 and they had the erotic poetry slam, so I decided to read my thing about sexually explicit math problems and I got a score of 24.1.  In the 2nd round I decided to do my story about the Catholic Priest and I made some changes by dedicating it to the 35W Bridge Collapse that had just happened on August 1.  I got a much better score than what I had gottten the 1st time I did this back on Valentine's Day 2003 of 18.4, but 1 judge was an uptight fucking asshole and only gave me a 1.4 and some fucking asshole said, "that score is too high."  Despite that, the only thing that gives me hope is at least there are some people in the world who are cool and a couple of people told me that they really enjoyed hearing me do my thing and 1 guy told me that he hadn't laughed so hard (he said hard, HUH HUH) in a very long time!  The next poetry slam after that was on August 14, which was the "chick slam" at Kieran's, which was for girls or guys who dress up like them, so I didn't have anything new to do, so I did my thing called, Am I a lesbian and to my surprise and disgust, Cynthia French who appeared to be cool most of the time, turned out to be a fucking cunt and she hissed at me the entire time that I was doing my thing and when I was done, she booed me and the judges were fucking assholes, but 1 of them gave me a score of 7, but the other 2 judges were assholes and 1 of them gave me a score of 1.7 and Cynthia said, "that score is too high" There was a $5 cover for this fucking bullshit, but the person forgot to ask for my money after I signed up, so I got in for free! Coincidentally, I managed to sneak into for free to that 3-2-1 slam bullshit!  Cynthia hadn't been going to the open mikes or anything in awhile, but she was on a different slam team and she got to fucking go to Austin, Texas. Cynthia heard me do my Am I a Lesbian before during June 2006 and she didn't hiss at me or give me a fucking attitude about it. She used to host the open mike and I never had a problem with her, but she stopped hosting the open mike (which I am certainly glad at this point) because she decided that she wanted to get into "positive" activities like roller lading and all that bullshit. This isn't the 1st time that she copped a fucking attitude with me, but it is the worst attitude that she copped with me. Cynthia got to go to the poetry slam in Austin, Texas in August 2006 and I asked Ezra (who let me use his cell phone when you did that thing last June with the poetry slam with props) if he would do a cover of 1 of my spoken words thing when he was in Austin, Texas and Cynthia said that he shouldn't in a sarcastic tone of voice. I think that she may have hissed at me because I talked about sexual activity between a minor and an adult and that is what may have really upset her.  I don't give a flying fuck!  People say all kinds of shit that upset me with their irrational stupid fucking bullshit, so I certainly don't give a flying fuck about offending assholes!  With that in mind, my rant against "sexual abuse victim" was going to be done on August 28 and that fucking cunt hissing at me for doing something controversial, but not nearly as controversial than what was coming up and the stress was eating away at me so bad.  Well, I had so much shit going on that my rant against "sexual abuse victims" was delayed until 911, but on September 11, 2007, it finally happened and the good news is it went over a lot better than I was afraid of!  I got a score of 22.7 and I was even able to move onto the 2nd round! 1 judge gave me a score of 4 and another judge gave me a 9.  No 1 heckled or hissed at me and I was able to get a couple of laughs from it.  That's part of the key to being able to get away with talking about this shit and probably the only way that I can get away with it is by using comedy! I got the loudest laugh when I quoted something that George Carlin once said: Stop sucking my dick or I will call the police!  I was even able to move onto the 2nd round ater doing this controversial thing when I did my rant about being deprived of eating at buffets which I of course feel strongly about as well.  I wonder how Cynthia French would have reacted?  The fucking cunt was not there.  If she hissed at me for the Am I a Lesbian thing, there is no telling how she would have reacted to ranting against "sexual abuse victims."  I was so afraid that that fucking cunt would be there, which is whey the stress that it created was so enormous.  I think that Wonder Dave, the gay guy who hosts the open mike was shocked and offended at the part in which I really mentioned my strong hatred towards the gay community. He said something while I was doing that part of the rant, but I wasn't able to hear it. I think that he was very shocked at how far I dug into my hatred and rage against them.  I saw Dave 1 week later at the open mike on September 18 and he didn't say anything to me, but that might have been because I told him that my cat walked into the refrigerator and I had to go home to let him out and that may have been a major distraction.  I wasn't able to go to my next poetry slam until I get back from my trip to the Chicago area on November 13.

    The 1st time that I went to the gay writer's group in 2007 was on January 17 and I was going to read my classic thing about how to get Jesus to Love you, but I couldn't fucking find it.  I wanted to download it from the inter-net, but my fucking cable Internet went out thanks to fucking Comcast and since Comcast has taken over, the quality has really turned to shit.  I decided to read my thing about Steve Dahl and it went over OK, but a lot of people liked it and someone said that it was similar to my rant about Everything Changed on Thanksgiving 1986.  I got my How to Get Jesus to Love You Thing printed up long before the gay writer's group on February 21, but when I showed up, there were only 2 people there and they left because of the low turnout and Danny came by later on that night and he was shocked that no one was there.  I read the thing about How to Get Jesus to Love You to him and he mostly talked about the kind of shit that the Mormons do and actually get away with til this day like forcing gay people into electric shock therapy as a "cure" for their sins.  There were more people at the gay writer's group when I went on March 21, but Danny wasn't there.  I read my thing about my father dying and John told me that it was the best and most moving thing that I did because I got more serious and more inspirational in comparison to many of the other things that I have written and it still retained much of it's dry sense of humor that exists in my writing.  I decided not to go to the writer's group on April 18 because I was going to do something else that was very controversial and I heard that Danny wasn't going to be there, so I didn't feel like dealing with any bullshit.  I decided to go to the writer's group on May 16 and the person who was supposed to facilitate it didn't bother to show up.  Another guy, David, was furious that the facilitator didn't bother to show up.  I talked to this guy while he was there and I am pissed off about the way things are but after talking to him, I notice that there is a big difference between how I am pissed off and the way that he’s pissed off that I cannot totally explain.  After talking to him, his pissed off is a lot more disempowering than mine. Through out my life, I have discovered so many things that were supposed to be wonderful and so enlightening to turn out to be total fucking bullshit. I say, “fuck it” and do my own thing, my own writings and my own rants and that is what has worked the best, so far. I am so disgusted with the way so many things are in this world, but it seems as though the best way to deal with it is to have a sense of humor. If I didn’t have a sense of humor, I would go completely crazy. I can’t explain why my pissed off is at least more empowering with the way David is pissed off. I can say that I have been able to adjust with changes in technology and how activism is different now than it was in the 1960s, but I hate the pc part of that and all the so called PC“liberal” fucks who want to take away freedom of speech nowadays. The point that I am bringing up is I have been able to adjust quite well to the Internet as being a great resource for activism among other things that a lot of people haven’t been able to adjust to.  They did do a piss poor job at organizing things because the open mike that they had plan to have on June 20 was canceled, but they decided to have their regular meeting, instead.  The # of people who showed up was very low, including Danny, Wonder Dave, who hosts the Kieran's open mike and Chuck, who hates it when I talk about abortion because he has kids.  I decided to read my thing about finding the right bathroom and Danny told me once again, I talk and write about things that most other people think about, but they never talk about it.  Wonder Dave said that there is too much redundancy in my writing.  He pointed out a couple of examples and I can consider remedying the problem, but I also mentioned that the only good thing about Florida are there are plenty of golf courses with bathrooms available to take a shit and it wasn't necessary to say that.  What the fuck?  I don't understand that 1.  It has nothing to do with redundancy and if people don't like it.  FUCK EM!  Danny wasn't at the writer's group at both the July 18 and August 15, but I decided to go anyway.  I decided to read my rant against hot weather on July 18 and I thought that it was going to bomb and not go over good at all.  There were a couple of new people there because they found out about the group at gay pride on June 24 and the good news is it went over quite well!  1 guy said that it kept him in suspense because there were so many twists and turns, he didn't know where I would go with it next.  I did my "sequel" or my spoken word about my weather record keeping at the writer's group on August 15 and it went over good enough that I may get some help at getting my stuff published once I get a manuscript together.  My good luck may be attributed to something that I found out about earlier this year called, the Secret, Law of Attraction and I will say more about that later.  I worked on organizing my manuscript, but unfuckingfortunately, I didn't have enough time to get it done in time for the September 19 meeting at the writer's group, but I put what I had onto a CD.  Someone was going to be there to look at my manuscript, but unfuckingfortunately, he didn't show up.  I also read my Top 10 Reasons not to Have Kids and I don't even know if Danny liked it because he said that I advocated the end of the human race and he didn't see any hope from that thing.  Chuck certainly didn't like it, but he wasn't as brutal on me as he was when I did my thing about what isn't bullshit, maybe because he might agree with some of the things that I said in there.

The month that I look forward too most years is October because of the fall colors, I usually travel somewhere, but something even more important than that is it is the end of a long hot summer with the weather being too fucking hot out.  I went to the Chicago area on October 19, although I should have gotten there on October 18 and just like preparing for when I went to Atlanta in October 2006, preparing for this trip turned out to be an absolute nightmare as it seems to get worse with each year, but what made matters worse is I had less time to prepare than last year and it was too fucking hot more often this fall as well. On October 6, the high temperature was in the 80s with dew points in the 70s.  It ain't supposed get that fucking muggy in October!  I tried to make a DVD from some movies I downloaded and things fucked up because of not having the same size and right format, but I was able to figure it out in which I could get it to partially work, but I spent over 16 hours on that bullshit alone and I had more recordings to modify than most months, so I would have plenty of cool music to listen to as well during my trip.

    The toughest and most difficult thing to deal with was that fucking piece of fucking shit fucking shitbag that I bought that laptop from in September 2006 on ebay that wouldn't read CDs and DVDs and he failed to respond to my e-mails and the only way that I was able to get back at him was by giving him negative feedback on ebay to give a hint that he's a fucking asshole.  He had a 100% positive feedback until I came along and I had to be the 1 that he decided to be a fucking asshole to.  I wanted to buy a new laptop, but most places that I tried had vista on the laptops, instead of XP and I didn't want vista for 3 major reasons:

1. Vista was so new and it had too many bugs and fuck ups to deal with
2. It would be more difficult to install much of my software with Vista
3. Vista runs much slower than XP and I don't need that kind of shit!

    I was lucky enough that Computer Renaissance had a laptop with XP and it was an Acer, which I heard is a pretty good brand and I only paid $479 for it after trading in the other laptop and the nice thing is at least they were willing to do that because the people at most stores are fucking assholes who won't be willing to do that.  It took until October 16 before I finally bought the laptop, but I wanted to go there on October 10, but 1 thing after another kept coming along to fuck that up.  I couldn't make it on October 10 because I had to fix something up on the other laptop before I could bring it in and failed to get that done before they closed.  On October 11 and 12, I had to work on those DVDs and because 1 thing after another fucked up, I didn't have the fucking time to go to that store for the laptop.  On October 13 I couldn't go because I had to work all day.  On October 14, they were closed.  On October 15 I had to go to the courthouse to fight a fucking parking ticket that I got on October 5, which turned out to be the 2nd fucking parking ticket that I had gotten this year.  The 1st 1 I got was on April 14 because I had bought them, but never put the new tags on the license plate that expired at the end of March.  I know that I had waited until April was almost 1/2 over, but someone drove down the street in the middle of the night to spy on people's cars.  This went beyond what I had expected on how bad things are knowing that with all the crime and other problems going on, they have to pay someone in the middle of the fucking night to spy on people who are parked on the street, so the criminal fascist fucking scum in the government can make more money off the slaves. I was facing a $112 fucking fine for not having the fucking tags.  I went down the courthouse to fight that on April 19 and they decided to clear me from having to pay it because I hadn't gotten a ticket for that before, so that was certainly good news from that horrible situation.  I was facing a $34 fine when I got the fucking ticket on October fine and they gave me a ticket for parking too close to a stop sign, even though there was no fucking sign that I couldn't park next to the stop sign and that's what I tried to explain to them and I wasn't as lucky as I was the 1st time I got a parking ticket this year, but they reduced the fine down to $10.

     The only good news is I barely had enough time to make it to Computer Renaissance on October 15 and I brought my old laptop in and I wasn't able to get by with bullshitting them because that laptop had pretty much the exact same features and harddrive size and memory that they 1 I had did and when they started to do a diagnostic test on it with a CD that was already burned (not an Original) they discovered that it wouldn't read the CD.  They had to use an external floppy drive to plug into 1 of the USB ports.  I had to leave the laptop there overnight, but the good news is they didn't discover anything else fucked up about the laptop, so I got $120 back from trading in that other laptop, but it would have been over $200 if the CD/DVD drive wasn't fucked.  Things could have been a lot worse because when I went into Geek Squad, they were going to charge me $369 for a new CD/DVD burner because they are a bunch of money grubbing scumfucks.  Another thing that happened to really fuck things up is on 911 this year, which was stressful enough because I had to do my rant against "sexual abuse victims" I discovered that my fucking tire was just about flat.  I filled it up with air that day, but noticed that it was slowly but surely losing air, so I waited until October 16 to deal with it and discovered that the place that I got the tire from had gone out of business, so I went to another place with the same name about 10 miles from where I lived and then I found out that they don't do tires.  Fucking great when I have no fucking time and was desperately trying to prepare for a trip!  I had to go another 25 miles out of my way in the opposite direction from where I needed to get the laptop.  They found that a screw had gotten intot he tire and that was causing the air to leak out and they wanted to use "road hazard" as an excuse to void the warranty, but at least they were nice enough to fix the tire for free. I didn't get down to the place to get the laptop until 2:30PM that day and didn't get out of there until after 3PM and I needed to start work at 4PM, but because the traffic was fucking horrible, I was 21 minutes late for work.  I then went to a spoken words at Keiran's that day and read my rant against breeding that was my 2nd repeat at balls 2 days earlier and Leslie had to leave the room after I said "smelly rancid twat!"  I would have to say that October 16, 2007 will go down as 1 of the most unusual days that I have had in awhile.  I never remember getting a new laptop, getting a tire fixed, having to work and do a spoken words performance all in the same day!  I am not likely to ever experience a combination like that in the same day again, anytime soon!  The good news is when I booted the laptop up, it worked pretty well, but I couldn't get into the Internet from here because everything was encrypted and that fucking sucks!  It also fucked up when I tried to play some DVDs, but it fucked up in the other computer as well and most of them worked fine.  I only had enough time to get the most extreme important software installed, seeing that I got the laptop less than 48 hours before I was to leave.  

    On October 17, I went to a coffee shop near where I lived and the laptop was able to connect into the Internet fine, which is certainly good news!  I spent the rest of the day organizing CDs, DVDs, my clothes and other things that I wanted to pack and it took hours to get all that done.  I had to renew a library book (at the worst possible fucking time) and go back to the place where I bought the laptop from to get my carrying case and after that, I had to go to pay a bill that was about 10 miles away, which I had left at around 5:30PM and they closed at 6PM, but the traffic was so fucking horrible I didn't get there until 6:20.  That is fucking great!  It only took 50 minutes to go 10 miles and I had to make a special trip on October 18, the day I needed to leave to do that.  When I went to pay it on October 18, it took over a fucking hour just to get that done!  I wanted to be out by noon and I didn't even get back from paying that bill until 12:30PM.  I had to take a shower, clean the apartment, incase the landlord had to come in and clean the litter box, but what really set me back at the very last minute is when I tried to burn DVDs and 1 after another came out fucked up.  With all that bullshit happening, I didn't get out of here until around 5:30PM.

    I didn't have enough fucking time to make it to the buffet in La Crosse, Wisconsin before they closed, so I went to Golden Corral in Rochester and I managed to get there a few minutes before 7PM.  I stayed there until a little after 9PM and I headed over towards Winona and then I called Tony.  It was way too fucking late for me to come into Chuck's place in the middle of the night, so I decided to hang out in Winona until midnight, before leaving.  I drove all the way to the Oasis on the tollway in Illinois before I stopped and once again, I ended up getting this pinkey or some fucking bullshit in which my eye ended up getting extremely irritated.  I got to the Oasis on the Tollway at around 4:15AM and I put that prescription pinkeye stuff in and crapped out and woke up at around 5:15 and continued to head over to the Chicago area at around 5:30AM and my eye still hurt, but not as bad.  I got to Tony's place just before 7AM.  I found out that I can't connect to the Internet through the laptop there, either because every fucking connection was encrypted.  I only stayed at Tony's place until a little after 9AM and got to Chuck's place at around 10:15AM and I was able to crap out at around 11:30AM-4PM and I was able to feel much better.  Unfuckingfortunately, every Internet signal at Chuck's building was encrypted as well.  I got to the library in Aurora, Illinois, 3 minutes before they fucking closed, but I discovered that I could connect to the Internet and I was able to connect anonymously, but I had to click on something to agree to their terms of service and that bullshit.  I couldn't do a Hell of a lot in 3 minutes.  After I got back from the library me and Chuck went to Tony's place and we went to eat at a Chinese buffet near where Tony lives and I discovered that the food was very good!  After that, I showed Tony and Chuck the 911 Conspiracy movie, Loose Change!

    Considering that my parents have shit for brains and moved to Florida from the Chicago area, I miss the Chicago area and I miss the trains and now you can ride trains anywhere in the Chicago area on weekends for $5, which they didn't do when I lived there, so I spent October 20 and 21 riding trains and I was thrilled after they extended service out to Elburn, Illinois when it used to only go to Geneva and I used to live along that line.  I decided against going to Chicago on October 20 because I would be going in later on that night and it would be a bit too much overwhelming.  I hung out in Geneva for awhile because I used to enjoy taking train rides there when I was a kid.  I barely made it to catch a train at 2:20PM on October 21, but I was so fucking rushed, I forgot my fucking headphones and had to turn around to get it and didn't leave Elburn until 4:25PM and didn't get into Chicago until close to 6PM.  I managed to pass out 2 911 Conspiracy DVDs and most people were such uptight fucking assholes, they wouldn't even take it for free.  I went to the Alley to get add to my collection of weird t-shirts that says "Everytime you Masturbate, God Kills a Kitten" and considering that so many people are fucking assholes, I am afraid that someone will over react to seeing that!  Things fucked up and I failed to make it to Evanston to connect to a Metra train and thanks to that fucking bullshit, I didn't get to leave Chicago until 10:40PM when I wanted to leave at 8:30 and I get in too fucking late to show a movie to Chuck.

   I wish that the trains ran in the middle of the night, so I had to drive into the city to go to a couple of clubs.  I went to 1 place where the people at the door were total judgmental stuck up assholes to the extreme.  They wanted to see my ID, wanted to know if I was drinking and he didn't believe me because I was slow at getting my driver's license out.  Then the fucking shitbag asked me to leave because I didn't buy a drink.  Places with fucking attitude like that don't deserve to be patronized in the 1st fucking place!  That turned out to be the worst experience I had during my Chicago area trip, although I know worse things than that have happened before.  I went to Sidetrack where I used to go during the 1980s and I didn't have any problems there, but just about everyone looked like a total evil total stuck up snotty clicky fucking asshole piece of shit!  Just from the looks of those people I saw nothing but extreme fucking phonynous!  I decided to go to Berlin, where things were much better, but even there there were stuck up fucking assholes with attitude, like someone who made a comment, "do you think that you are impressing me with that ghost."  There were quite a few people who were cool who thought that my ghost was cool and they played a lot of extremely cool and alternative music as well.  Even though some people were assholes, I didn't get judged as bad at Berlin as much as I would at other places.

    On October 22, I went to the library at the College that I used to go to and I was able to connect to the Internet, which was extremely important, so I could find out if there were any spoken words that I could go to.  I decided to wait until October 23 and I went to Tony's place.  Tony is so lucky about that he has a very good buffet right near where he lives, so I ate there that day, but Tony is right.  I do think that the Chinese buffet that I ate at on October 19 was better!

   October 23, my last full day in the Chicago area was very stressful because of going into to city alone to read a controversial spoken word thing being afraid of being attacked by a bunch of PC fucking assholes.  Before going into the city, I went to the Aurora Library for awhile to use the Internet I went into Chicago during the evening and I picked an open mike that didn't start until 10PM and I got there shortly after 8PM.  I decided to walk around Halstead Street, which is the heavily gay area and I am glad that they have some new places where they sell explicit things, but I know that the gay community has turned to shit for many reasons. I bought a button that says "stop breeding!"  When I got to the open mike I found out that there was a 4 minute time limit, which fucking sucks, but the guy who hosted it gave me the impression that he was cool and he had flyers supporting Ron Paul for president.  I decided to read my thing about Jon Benet Ramsey at Bohemian Grove and the good news is a couple of people really liked it and someone told me that I did a good job.  The other guy who was his cohost said that it definitely will get a capital "D" for Different!  That's what matters is it is unique!  I left there at around 12:30AM on October 24 and got to Tony's place shortly after 2AM and stayed there until close to 5AM and didn't get to Chuck's place in Aurora until 6:15AM and I was getting caught up in rush hour traffic already.

   I woke up at around 12:15PM on October 24 and left Chuck's place at around 2:30PM.  I was not happy about leaving the Chicago area and did as much running around as time permitted before leaving the Chicago area at around 5:30PM.  All that running around and the trauma of not getting everything done that I wanted to took it's fucking toll on me.  At around shortly after 4PM, I noticed that my stomach was feeling upset.  I was hoping that at least once I left the Chicago area, the rushing would at least be over and my stomach would feel better.  Unfuckingfortunately, it didn't.  My mouth felt extremely dry and I was just hoping that it might have been dehydration, but by the time I got to Rockford, things got to the point that it was going to be inevitable that I was going to fucking throw up, so I opened up the car door and threw up on the street.  I felt a little bit better, but not as much better as I should and seeing it was my last fucking day of traveling, I decided to go to the Golden Corral down the street hoping that my stomach could handle it if I ate just a small amount of food.  Unfuckingfortunately, it fucking couldn't.  I barely made it into the bathroom when I had to throw up again.  I puked all over the toilet bowl.  The only good news is no one was in there to see it happened.  I had to get the fuck out of there before anyone would find that toilet!  I felt run down and my hands were achy and I even had difficulty walking.  I had to crap out and sleep in the car for over an hour and then because it was my last fucking day, I decided to go to the library at the college there to see if I could use the Internet with the laptop and it did work.  I fucking felt icky and chilled.  Unfuckingfortunatley, it was time to head on back home and I got to Madison, Wisconsin at around 1:45PM and I felt so fucking icky and horrible I had to pull into the parking lot of a Denny's to crap out for about another hour and a half before continuing my trip home.  I got home at around 8:30AM and lucky fucking me to be delayed even further by having to get caught up in the Murderapolis rush hour.  I felt like fucking shit still and run down and exhausted before I got home, but I just wanted to fucking get home and get it over with.  It is common to get fucking tired and crap out once during an all night drive and I would feel much better so I could get through the night, but because I had some type of fucking flu bug, I had to crap out twice and still felt like shit.  I was not at all thrilled about another trip coming to an end, but I wasn't nearly as devastated as I was when my trip to Atlanta ended in November 2006.  Also, it is best to be home when I don't fucking feel good.

   It took until October 27 before I was feeling close to par after my trip ended.  It was also on October 28 when I did my 1st thing at balls after my trip ended and it was the Halloween Ghost Story telling thing, which turned out to be fucking shit all because some fucking breeder decided to bring his 8-year old kid and guess what that meant?  That meant that I was supposed to give up my right to free speech.  Thankfully, what I had planned to do was fairly tame in comparison to some things that I could have talked about, but I decided to talk about Bohemian Grove and when I brought up the gay sex some fucking cunt had to rudely interrupt me and say, "don't forget there's an 8-year old here."  It really fucking pissed me off when that fucking cunt had to rudely interrupt me and it made it more difficult for me to continue telling my story.  I didn't get any laughs and no one told me that they liked it and that really fucking sucks!  Things went over much better when I told a similar ghost story in 2005 with even less detail, but there were some people who were cool at that 1, while everyone who was at the 1 on October 28 was a fucking asshole.  They say they don't screen or censor at balls, but if a breeder brings his fucking kid, I am expected to give up my right to freedom of speech.  Now, I thought that I might want to do my Return of the Living Dead Fetuses Story, which is a lot more vulgar!  After this fucking bullshit, I don't even know if I even want to go to another pumpkin carving ghost story event at Halloween.  This is just another example of something appearing to be cool having to be ruined by turning out to be shit!  Things didn't go over much better on November 25 at balls when I did my rant about Ron Paul.  Unfuckingfortunately, most of the people there were not able to get beyond this phony left-right paradigm bullshit.  The agreed with me when I attacked George W Bush, but oh no!  The Democrats are God and can do no wrong, even though the Democrats do almost the exact same bullshit that the Republicans do!  Leslie had to leave the room again after I mentioned that Hitlery was a fucking cunt.  Some high strung fucking asshole had to get in my face at the end and say that I was in a "free speech zone" and I wasn't sure if he agreed with me or not, but after hearing him, he showed signs of being a high strung fucking asshole.  He said that "politics is a joke", which I'm not sure if he meant Ron Paul, Obama, Hitlery or all of them and I kind of agreed with him on that count and then he said that there is no way that the New World was going to get it's way.  I wanted to say, "look around asshole, there are more and more cameras going up to spy on you."  I do agree if it weren't for the people talking about this shit then things would be much worse than they are already.  He said that I would be the 1st person in the concentration camp because he was too fucking stupid to realize that there are a lot of other people out there who are doing what I am doing.  I had to ask him to repeat himself because I didn't know what the fuck he was saying and he said "you need to clean out your ears, man" and the reason that he said that was because he was a fucking asshole!  There was 1 person who told me that he liked it, but thought that it was more funny than serious and he had never heard of Ron Paul.  That was the only person who was there who was cool.  Things went over better on December 30 when I talked about people who died in 2007.  Unfuckingfortunately, I didin't get any laughs and no one told me that they liked it, but there at least seemed to be some more intelligent people there and part of the problem was there was a low turnout again.

    The 1st poetry slam after my Chicago area trip ended was on November 5 at the Artists Quarter and I decided to do my Return of the Living Dead Fetuses thing for the 1st time since it fucking bombed at Poetry Slam Idol on July 23 at Keiran's.  I got a score of 19.4, so at least it went over better than it did at poetry slam idol!  In the 2nd round I did my rant about affordable health insurance and I got a score of 26.5, which isn't the highest score that I had ever gotten, but it was 1 of the highest scores that I had gotten, so the judges agreed with me strongly on that 1, but if they weren't such uptight fucking assholes on the Return of the Living Dead Fetuses and had more of an open mind about true alternative and unique poetry, I probably would have been able to move onto the 3rd round.  The next poetry slam after that was at Keiran's on November 13 and I did my rant about the fucking cunt at the coffee shop in Chaska who called the pigs on me and accused me of breaking into cars and there will be more details about that fucking shit, later!  The next and final poetry slam of 2007 occurred on November 27 when I mentioned that the world was going to end because I didn't get to go to Austin, Texas for the National Poetry Slam, which I warned would happen 8 months to the day on March 27.  People probably thought that I was telling them a bunch of bullshit when I mentioned that the world was going to come to an end until I mentioned that the bees were dying! Unfuckingfortunately, 3 out of the 5 judges were fucking assholes and gave me a low score, so my total score was 16.9 and unfuckingfortunately, I wasn't able to move onto the 2nd round.  The final poetry slam in 2007 was at the Artists Quarter on December 3, so I decided to read my Pedophiles are Everywhere rant in the 1st round which I hadn't done since June 2006 at Kieran's.  Unfuckingfortunately, most of the judges were fucking assholes and gave me a low score of 18.7.  Things were worse in the 2nd round when I did my rant about the pigs harassing me in Chaska and my score was 13.2 because they really hate it when someone tells it like it is instead of telling a bunch of bullshit!  Someone told me that he really liked it and said that it was a lot more thought provoking than funny, so that's another indicator as to why millions of people need to hear what I have to say.  The semi final slam was on December 11, which I didn't make it to and I didn't bother to go because I wanted to read my material and not pay $5 to hear other people's things and most of it sucks anyway as I continue not to get anywhere with poetry slams as 2007 comes to an end.

    I went to the gay writer's group for the 1st time since my Chicago area trip ended on November 21 and dejav?  It had appeared that there would be a repeat of what happened on May 16.  There were only 2 people there, which included Danny and David who was the 1 who was pissed off as Hell when no one showed up for the writer's group on May 16. I still decided to read my thing about blaming Laura Ingalls for the September 11 terrorists attacks and talked a lot about Bohemian Grove.  Danny didn't really mention if he liked that or not, but maybe he's just taking it as another type of thing that I write, which is true to my style.  I had my manuscript done, but Danny was talking about what a pain in the ass it is to get things published and unfuckingfortunately, many artists have a difficult time at getting the business side of this shit to work.  At least Danny said that he believes in the Law of Attraction, but what he says about the business side of this shit is pretty discouraging.  I believe that the only way to be successful is to find someone who is nurturing or find a way to be nurturing myself because people are a lot more likely to be successful once they find a way to do the business side of this that doesn't suck.  In other words, going through a lot of excruciating torment in order to get there, which often causes people to fail to get there in the 1st place!  Also, if the person who supports an artist at paying them for their talents or giving them gigs and tours and if they turn out to be mean vicious fucking assholes, then that's what leads to a lot of artists getting hooked on a lot of horrible drugs, which is why it's important to find someone who's nurturing, instead of someone who's a fucking asshole!  That's a major reason why it's important to believe that you should find someone who is nurturing to give you your support instead of some dehumanizing fucking asshole!  The final time the writer's met in 2007 was on December 19 and the only person who showed up was Chuck (who was offended when I talk too favorably about abortion) was the 1 who facilitated.  Despite that, he wanted me to read my thing, even though he was the only 1 there, so I decided to do my thing about Ron Paul.  He liked the way that I had written it and he was able to handle me saying that Hitlery was a "fucking cunt" better than Leslie could who walked out when I said that.  Despite that, he still doesn't like Ron Paul.  He thinks that Obama would be good president.  No He wouldn't!  He doesn't realize that He is put in by the same corporate criminal scum who put George W Bush in.  Obama is a lot better at bullshitting the people a lot better than George W Bush can.  Obama is nothing more than a shill for the corporate criminal scum who own this country!  

     I won't go into it now, but there are some hints with my 1979 retro flashback spoken words, but my life lives on 4-year cycles and possibly 28-year cycles, but 2007 happens to be the 4-year cycle year in which my life turns to shit.  My life turned to shit late in 1999 and 2003, but what I went through was mild crud in comparison to this shit.  It all started on September 2 when I threw up for the 1st time since February 8, 2007.  It was the weekend that the group of gay fat men were having their convergence in Minneapolis and I decided to drink a few rum and cokes on an empty stomach and ate a bit too much on top of that and that is what probably caused me to get fucking sick.  They had good food, including September 1 and I felt sick most of the day after throwing up on September 2, but I was well enough to eat the buffet dinner they had on September 2 and they had turkey, which was delicious, but I didn't eat as much as usual because I wasn't feeling up to par and to be on the safe side. Of course I was only able to make it to October 24 before I threw up again when I was coming back from the Chicago area in Rockford, Illinois and that fucking sucks!  For the most part, the convergence turned out to be a bunch of fucking bullshit and the 1 they had in 2002 was a lot better.  I was wearing my "thank you for not breeding" t-shirt and I brought up that I didn't like single parents because so many of them are assholes scum and trash and He didn't like what I said and acted kind of like an asshole.  Worse yet, another guy interrupted and got all self righteous and said "my mother was a single mom and she worked her ass off to take care of me," blah blah blah.  1st of all, I wasn't even talking to him and I am getting sick and tired of self-rightious pieces of shit who think that they have the right to interrupt a conversation that I am having with someone else.  Unfuckingfortunately, it took a few minutes before that fucking shitbag caused me to get into a very bad mood keeping me from going into a humungous rampage and telling him off and I was already away from him when that happened.  Later that night they had an after hours party at the hospitality suit and a person couldn't use the elevator unless they had a room key and I thought that seeing that I paid the $224 for the convergence, I should be able to go up to the hospitality suit.  Well, this fucking shitbag fucking asshole tells me sarcastically that if I ain't staying at the hotel for $109 a night, I couldn't go up to the hospitality suit.  That made me so fucking mad!  I was able to get up there after telling another guest at the hotel that I didn't have my room key and I didn't have any additional problems after that.  I only met 1 person who had any potential to be cool who lived in Virginia and He was gone and I wasn't able to get his e-mail address.  They had 1 final day left at the hospitality suit on September 4 and it was mostly local people.  All they did was sit around and watch TV and their were some interesting shows on the Discovery Channel, but then they watched COPS.  How can gay people be so stupid to watch that fucking bullshit that glorifies a corrupt and evil fucking police state, while covering up what fucking assholes so many pigs are.  I am sick and tired of so many gay people turning out to be such stupid fucking assholes who actually enjoy this type of fucking fascist bullshit!

    Speaking of COPS, I had an experience with the guilty until proven innocent type of unconstitutional bullshit on November 3 in Chaska, Minnesota.  I already read about this fucking bullshit at the poetry slam, but the fucking pigs accused me of stealing the groceries that I had in the car.  They also took my fingerprints and it was resolved with me not being allowed to go into that coffee shop for a year, which is total fucking bullshit because I didn't do anything.  I had more stressful fucking bullshit to deal with before 2007 would be done.  They had to come into my apartment again on December 6 to treat it for bugs and on December 8, I come home from work to find a note under the fucking door that the apartment wasn't prepared and they would have to come back on December 14 and the apartment wasn't "prepared", they would charge me $75.  It was a fucking nightmare preparing and I had to rent a moving van to get the clutter out of the way.  I don't know if it was from the treatment, but I got a very bad cold with a very severe cough that lasted for the rest of 2007.

    If that's not all, Christmas Eve 2007 turned out to be shit as well.  Well, Christmas Eve 2007 turned out to be shit and the worst 1 since 1988 when I was laid off from my job on that fucking day. Anyway, Marie Castle who is in charge of "Atheists for Human Rights" is a fucking cunt! She had a Christmas Eve party at her house listed on the website, but when I showed up she said that I couldn't come in and used an "excuse" that it was for "members", but the reason is because she's a fucking piece of shit fucking cunt. Now, I really HATE her fucking guts and she is an old lady and I can't fucking wait until she fucking croaks! I hope that there is a Hell because she fucking belongs there! That fucking cunt told me that it was my fault when Cathy, the fucking cunt fired me from job on a day that I wore a T-shirt that said "mean people suck, nice people swallow" and that fucking cunt assumed that I was fired because I wore that T-shirt to work. I never wore that fucking shirt to work! She also tried to censor me from showing my spoken words pieces to other adults at the "happy hour" that I used to attend. That doesn't sound like supporting human rights to me!

    After the fucking piece of shit cunt wouldn't allow me to go to her party, I did have a "plan b" and went to services at a gay church. . They also had food there, including turkey, but the turkey was about the only thing that was any good. Despite that, I was still upset about what that fucking cunt did to me.  On top of that, Christmas fucking sucks!

    As 2007 concludes, I seem to give up more and more hope on my dreams becoming a reality and the results are showing, such as my temper shorting out quicker than ever.  I wrote about this and read it at the poetry slam about the rampage, I had at the grocery store, but because I am sick and tired of all the bullshit going on greatly contributed to that rampage.  I also had a rampage at my job on March 31, be it a much smaller rampage, I am getting more and more sick and tired of people's fucking bullshit.  I am sick and tired of being on that register and only on that register ringing up customers, many of them rude arrogant uptight fucking assholes.  Well, I had an altercation with a customer who was a fucking cunt and it certainly wasn't the 1st time this has happened and it probably won't be the last.  2 customers put their shit on the counter at the same time.  I started ringing up a customer who was behind this woman who was a fucking cunt.  I started, unknowingly ringing the customer behind her and she tells me that it's not her stuff after I ring her up.  It's always a big fucking help for the stupid arrogant fucking cunt to tell me after I started ringing.  This kind of fucking bullshit pisses me off so fucking much!  I tell her that seeing that I started ringing the customer behind her, I was going to finish him up.  Well, the fucking cunt gets pissed and leaves without buying any of that shit.  Then, another employee, Janessa, who is also a fucking cunt who thinks that she has the right to boss me around, even though she's not a manager and she wanted asked, "what did you do to piss her off" and then she narked on me to that other manager who threatened to write me up for this fucking bullshit.  The same fucking bastard fucking prick who threatened me on January 26 for taking my lunch for not asking him 1st.  The rampage that I had with that is I yelled at the top of my lungs, "she should have told me that it wasn't her stuff before I started ringing her up.  Meanwhile "sweet little innocent" Janessa talked back to a manager on that very same day, so it's OK for her to break the rules, but the fucking cunt thinks that she has the God given right to boss me around.  The good news is the fucking cunt quit abruptly, but I don't know why?  I started taking 5htp again for my anxiety and it has helped cut down on my anxiety, but may actually be intensifying my rage and may of contributed to the rampage I had at the grocery store, because it has made me realize that I don't deserve the shit that people are putting me through.  I also started taking Chlorella on March 23, which seems to working just as good as Enerfood, but it is considerably cheaper!  I found out about the movie the "Secret" and I heard about it a few times during 2007, when I went to a workshop that they had about the "Secret" on June 11 and they showed a video from Oprah's show and I know that she's a fucking cunt and I hate her guts, but she does some good things despite how evil she is.  I got a copy of the "Secret" and watched it on July 11.  I went to a psychic fair at a new age church on May 20 and the psychic turned out to be a worthless stupid disempowering fucking cunt.  I told her that I wanted to make a living by being a writer/spoken words artist.  She tells me "of all the books, poetry is what sells the least and very few poets make a living at doing what they do."  Listen you fucking cunt, I paid $30 to see you and I am supposed to be empowered, not disempowered!  I didn't actually say that to her, but I sure felt like it after I left!  2nd premise:  There is a major reason why poetry doesn't sell very good.  Most of the poetry that I have heard sucks!  It's nothing more than a bunch of meaningless dribble and phony pretentious bullshit!  I found out more bad fucking news.  My paid spoken word performance on September 14 and 15 was canceled because Patrick said that the people who signed up hadn't done what He had asked.  I didn't know if it was other people or me and what exactly the fuck did He ask.  I e-mailed him asking if I could get rescheduled for another day.  He never e-mailed me back, so I was wondering if He decided to permanently fuck me or something like that?  Being prepared to go into a major rampage, I called him on July 25 and I never heard from him, yet.

    

As 2007 concludes, I seem to give up more and more hope on my dreams becoming a reality and the results are showing, such as my temper shorting out quicker than ever.  I wrote about this and read it at the poetry slam about the rampage, I had at the grocery store, but because I am sick and tired of all the bullshit going on greatly contributed to that rampage.  I also had a rampage at my job on March 31, be it a much smaller rampage, I am getting more and more sick and tired of people's fucking bullshit.  I am sick and tired of being on that register and only on that register ringing up customers, many of them rude arrogant uptight fucking assholes.  Well, I had an altercation with a customer who was a fucking cunt and it certainly wasn't the 1st time this has happened and it probably won't be the last.  2 customers put their shit on the counter at the same time.  I started ringing up a customer who was behind this woman who was a fucking cunt.  I started, unknowingly ringing the customer behind her and she tells me that it's not her stuff after I ring her up.  It's always a big fucking help for the stupid arrogant fucking cunt to tell me after I started ringing.  This kind of fucking bullshit pisses me off so fucking much!  I tell her that seeing that I started ringing the customer behind her, I was going to finish him up.  Well, the fucking cunt gets pissed and leaves without buying any of that shit.  Then, another employee, Janessa, who is also a fucking cunt who thinks that she has the right to boss me around, even though she's not a manager and she wanted asked, "what did you do to piss her off" and then she narked on me to that other manager who threatened to write me up for this fucking bullshit.  The same fucking bastard fucking prick who threatened me on January 26 for taking my lunch for not asking him 1st.  The rampage that I had with that is I yelled at the top of my lungs, "she should have told me that it wasn't her stuff before I started ringing her up.  Meanwhile "sweet little innocent" Janessa talked back to a manager on that very same day, so it's OK for her to break the rules, but the fucking cunt thinks that she has the God given right to boss me around.  The good news is the fucking cunt quit abruptly, but I don't know why?  I started taking 5htp again for my anxiety and it has helped cut down on my anxiety, but may actually be intensifying my rage and may of contributed to the rampage I had at the grocery store, because it has made me realize that I don't deserve the shit that people are putting me through.  I also started taking Chlorella on March 23, which seems to working just as good as Enerfood, but it is considerably cheaper!  I found out about the movie the "Secret" and I heard about it a few times during 2007, when I went to a workshop that they had about the "Secret" on June 11 and they showed a video from Oprah's show and I know that she's a fucking cunt and I hate her guts, but she does some good things despite how evil she is.  I got a copy of the "Secret" and watched it on July 11.  I went to a psychic fair at a new age church on May 20 and the psychic turned out to be a worthless stupid disempowering fucking cunt.  I told her that I wanted to make a living by being a writer/spoken words artist.  She tells me "of all the books, poetry is what sells the least and very few poets make a living at doing what they do."  Listen you fucking cunt, I paid $30 to see you and I am supposed to be empowered, not disempowered!  I didn't actually say that to her, but I sure felt like it after I left!  2nd premise:  There is a major reason why poetry doesn't sell very good.  Most of the poetry that I have heard sucks!  It's nothing more than a bunch of meaningless dribble and phony pretentious bullshit!  I found out more bad fucking news.  My paid spoken word performance on September 14 and 15 was canceled because Patrick said that the people who signed up hadn't done what He had asked.  I didn't know if it was other people or me and what exactly the fuck did He ask.  I e-mailed him asking if I could get rescheduled for another day.  He never e-mailed me back, so I was wondering if He decided to permanently fuck me or something like that?  Being prepared to go into a major rampage, I called him on July 25 and I never heard from him, yet.  

    Well, 2007 is now over.  A lot of shit has happened this year  For the 1st time since 1995/1996, there are a lot of signs that I am crashing into a very bad 4-year cycle.  Between the convergence of the gay fat men being a major disappointment, throwing up during the convergence and before I got back from the Chicago area, the Halloween ghost story thing turning out to be fucking bullshit because some breeder brings a fucking kid and I was supposed to give up my freedom of speech, getting harassed by the pigs at that coffee shop and Marie Castle that fucking piece of shit not letting me into her party on Christmas Eve is a strong is just some of the horrible fucking bullshit that happened during the 2nd half of 2007.  I only hope that things will turn upward and improve once I get to May 2008.  2007 is concluding by going to a New Year's Eve party at the same new age church in which I was at when 2006 concluded.  Unfuckingfortunately, they didn't have much good food to eat.  At this point it is time to go into Pat's 2008 Vision of the World Page in hopes that things will finally get better.