Do you remember the story problems that you got in math when you were in school? I hated those fucking things and the stories were so fucking stupid. A high school teacher got in trouble because some fucking parents complained because he wrote sexually explicit math problems involving pimps and hoes and figuring out how much money the pimp keeps and how much the hoe keeps. I will read you a math problem better than that.

    On July 13, 1994,10 year old Zack hears his 13 year old brother Elliot making loud moaning noises, so he walks in and sees him lying on the bed naked as the thick white stuff is squirting out of his penis and he asks, "what in God's name are you doing." Elliot says, "I'm waxing the carrot you fucking imbecile!" Zack decides to play with his dick and tells Elliot, "this felt better than anything I ever experienced in my entire life, but I couldn't get any thick white stuff to squirt out my cock and I am fucking pissed?" Elliot says, "you need to go through puberty." Zack asks, "when will that happen?" Elliot says, you will never go through puberty and thick white stuff will never squirt out of your cock. On June 23, 1996, thick white stuff squirted out of Zack's cock for the very 1st time, but he only shot out 2 spurts. Zack is so excited, he tells Elliot and says "sperm finally squirted out of my cock and before I die I am going to squirt out a million spurts of sperm out my cock." Elliot says, "since I masturbated for the 1st time on August 6, 1992, I have shot out a total of 49,623 spurts of sperm out my cock." By July 7, 1996 Zack is masturbating 9 times a day and is shooting out 17 spurts with each load, however, Elliot masturbates only 5 times a day and only shoots out 7 spurts with each load. Zack says, I bet you $10 that I am going to shoot a million spurts out my cock before you do". Elliot says, I'm going to shoot out a million spurts before you do and I'm going to win the bet, na na na na!" This caused Zack to get so pissed off, so he starts practicing witchcraft and he puts a black magic hex on Elliot. On September 11, 2001, the hex kicks in and Elliot starts getting these horrible migraine headaches and he is lucky if he can beat off 2 times a day and he only shoots out 2 spurts of sperm. Because Elliot had gotten so despondent he hung himself on July 22, 2003 by engaging in autoerotic asphyxia, but he shot out 1 more spurt before he passed out and died. Find the total # of spurts that squirted out of Elliot cock when he died and on what date and what year will Zack be able to shoot out the 1 millionths spurt of sperm out his cock? Kids would gain excellent math skills if they were given problems like that. Even Beavis and Butt-Head would become mathematicians and they would say "hu, hu, my favorite class is math because the teacher gives out problems about spanking the monkey and that's cool hu hu!"

For some people, it may be difficult to read this without getting a stiffie!  It should also cause a woman's cunt to water up and get all excited, but to make it even better, it was very funny! Anyone with a sense of humor should be able to find this to be very funny and continue to read Pat's 2007 Vision of the World Page to make you feel better while living in a world of total stupidity.