I'm a rolling thunder, a pouring rain, I'm comin' on like a Hurricane. You're only young, but you're gonna die. Well, that's the good news and it's going to happen a lot sooner than you realize. When you think about 70-80 years is not a lot of time out of billions and billions of years. With that in mind, why are we here and why am I here? Well, for me, it certainly ain't to be happy or understood or accepted. I am here to share my stories vision along with comedy with the world. Also, in my previous lifetime, I was Laura Ingalls and she was punished by having to be reincarnated as me because she sugarcoated so much of what she wrote about in her novels.

    Anyway, the meaning of life is to experience a healing and to learn lessons and a lot of times it ain't very pleasant ant that sucks. I started getting interested in healing back in 1987 after my parents moved to Florida and ruined my life because I was thrown into a state of helplessness and powerlessness Another thing I did is a workshop called "The Experience Weekend" and 1 of the requirements of the workshop was to "write a letter to your parents" oh and believe it or not most parents are not as loving and understanding as what you would see on Father Knows Best because that was a bunch of propaganda and bullshit. Anyway, people were reading their letters and they were crying and all that shit. When I read mine, it was ranting and raving and expressing my feelings, while using a sense of humor and with that, people told me that I should be a writer.

     Most of that workshop was bullshit, but I felt so empowered, like I was on top of the world when people told me that I should be writer and I thought that shit would never happen to me again. What a mistake that was! Less than 48 hours after the workshop ended, I broke my ankle and couldn't walk and needed surgery that I had to wait 3 weeks to get because I had no health insurance in that cesspool of shit that I was living in, throwing me into a total state of helpless and powerlessness, but that certainly intensified my interest in using the mind for healing.

      I don't know if you ever heard of Louise Hay? She was terminally ill with cancer and she was about to croak when she used her mind to completely heal herself and to this day, she has no traces of cancer in her body. Would Barbara Enriech be able to do that? Probably not, but it's never too late for redemption and it would make me very happy if Barbara Enriech got some horrible disease and then was able to use the power of her mind to heal herself and then I would look forward to reading her new book, Unleashing your Unlimited Potential because being Nickeld and Dimed, Sucks!

    I started going to a healing circle, so I wouldn't have to be a slave to being powerless. I told my parents about the healing circle and my father asked me if they told me to cut my fingernails and to get a hair cut. His idea of healing is me turning into a brain-dead conformist mediocre asshole. People who breed have a tendency to get a lot of fucked up and stupid ideas in their head. I also thought that talking about healing with my parents would create this magic aura that they would suddenly have an open mind and understand me. It didn't, which only made me turn a lot more militant and pissed off.

    Another major aspect of healing certainly involves enhancing finances so you don't have to struggle and worry about money. I once watched an infomercial that talked about how I could get rich with real estate. All these people were sitting at a swimming pool drinking pina coladas and they were smiling and talking about how they got rich with real estate. I was so happy when I heard that because I wasn't going to have to work for a bunch of fucking pricks at jobs I couldn't stand because I was going to get rich with real estate. Then I found out that was a scam. Those fucking bastards! They can take their fucking real estate and shove it right up their fucking ass!

    Despite that, there are still valid ways in order to create wealth and abundance and 1 of the things that you are going to need to have in order to create wealth and abundance is energy which comes from how healthy you are. Also, 98% of all diseases including cancer, heart disease and even arthritis are created because the digestive tract is not working properly. Also, most people have diets that are absolutely deplorable and they are getting way too much acid. In order to avoid disease, it is important to get alkaline in your system, even if it comes from a supplement. Also, it is very important that you move your bowels on a regular basis. Now, having a bowel movement is totally disgusting, but it is very important. When they did the autopsy on John Wayne after he died, they found over 42 pounds of fecal matter scattered throughout his colon, so when I say that John Wayne was full of shit, I mean it literally! It is so important that you clean out your intestines and take a healthy shit because a happy colon is an empty colon and a healthy bowel movement a day helps keep colon cancer away. Also, laxatives will not clean out your colon. I don't know why, but they won't. You need some type of superfood or colon cleansing product. A lot of these things are scams and some of them are legitimate and it's important to find 1 that's legitimate.

    Also, a lot of people are constipated and a lot of that problem is psychological. For example, if you are living with a bunch of roommates, it may not be easy to go into the bathroom and take a shit because some people make disgusting noises when they take a shit. If that's not all, your roommate may walk into the bathroom after taking a shit and notice a bad smell and that can really be embarrassing. Now for those of you who live next to the University of Minnesota, you lucky fucking bastards! The University of Minnesota is 1 of the best places in the entire world to take a shit at. If you live near the UofM and have roommates, all you have to do is go down there and take a shit and there must be hundreds of bathrooms to chose from and a lot of time there ain't anyone in the bathroom, so sit on the toilet, relax and let some turds drop out of your sphincters and in order to stay healthy, just remember this simple rhyme: When you need to go poo all you need to do is go down to the U!

    Meanwhile, the big mystery question is what happens when you die? How the fuck can I know? Now, I believe that organized religion is a bunch of bullshit, but I think that there would have to be something beyond this life regardless if someone dies from a disease, an accident or killing themself. Now, why would someone actually commit suicide? Well, most people are a bunch of phony stuck up pretentious assholes, which means that so many people have no one to turn to when they do run into a crisis. Then, on top of that, life ain't very easy on top of the equation, but people are still too fucking stupid to figure out why the suicide rate has gone up at such a substantial rate of the past couple of decades. I would hope that people who are cool will be able to move on to a better reality after death, but for those who are assholes, they will have to live through another lifetime of Hell. That should be reason enough not to be an asshole! As for George W Bush and Dick Cheney, it will be very hot where they are going, if there is a such thing as a higher power who will give the extreme assholes of the world what they truly deserve. The bottom line is, life is a mystery and because most humans have their consciousness up their ass, we probably ain't supposed to know what happens to us when we die.

This is a fine example that Pat doesn't only like to shock people and make them laugh, but he's also a philosopher interested in helping people heal.  Well that is for those who deserve to be healed.  Most people don't deserve to be healed because they are fucking assholes.  Reading Pat's 2007 Vision of the World Page Crates a lot of healing because it has a lot of humor, good ideas and vision.  To those who don't agree, take a flying fuck!