August 23, 1976: Today, I noticed that hair is starting to grow around my dick, so I asked my mommy about why hair is starting to grow around my dick. She told me that I am very uncouth for saying the word "dick". My mommy told me that the proper word to describe it is to call it my "dinky".
September 8, 1976: I have been in junior high for only a week and 2 kids in my class, David and Bobby got into a fight with each other. Also, David said to Bobby, "suck my dick!" David is very uncouth for saying something like that. David should have told Bobby to suck his dinky!
October 2, 1976: Today I had a very funny warm, flushed kind of feeling. My brother wasn't home, so I went into his room, took off all my clothes and stared at my naked 13-year-old body in the mirror. I noticed that my dinky got very big, so I decided to rub it on my brother's bed. I don't know what I was doing or why I was doing it, but it felt very good. I thought that I was going to pee all over my brother's, but it felt so good, I didn't care! After I was done, I was thinking about 1 of the kids in my gym class who has a lot of hair around his dinky and I wonder if he likes to rub his dinky on the bed like I do?
April 13, 1977: Dear Jesus, a lot of kids in my school have told me that it ain't normal for me to play with myself. I decided that if I could go 10 days without playing with myself, I would reward myself by going to Jack in the Box to eat lunch. Well, today in my 7th day, I lost control and ended up playing with myself. I am praying for your help to stop engaging in this abnormal type of behavior.
July 18, 1977: Jesus H Fucking Christ! I have been praying for over 3 months now that I would stop playing with myself and I haven't been able to stop and I am fucking pissed! If that's not bad enough, while I was playing with my dinky today, a bunch of thick white stuff squirted out of it and it got all over the bed.
May 8, 1979: Today at school, Jimmi and David told me that they like to beat off. I am shocked that they are actually admitting to doing something like that!
May 13, 1993: Today I watched a TV show called Beavis and Butthead for the very 1st time. Beavis and Butthead talked openly about spanking their monkeys. Beavis and Butthead are cool! HUH HUH HUH!!! The only thing that bothers me about Beavis and Butthead is they are so uncouth. Instead of referring to it as spanking the monkey, they should have referred to it as spanking their dinkies!
There is a purpose to Pat's life and unfuckingfortunately, being loved, understood or accepted has not been it, yet, except from a couple of the cool people that he knows. Talking about all this shit causes him to get high and it causes people who are cool to get high as well. As for those who can't handle it, FUCK EM! Then again, even they need to be exposed to Pat's 2007 Vision of the World Page because it might knock some common reason and sense into their brains!