"In
Darkness, Light"
Hecate
or as mati mou explained this to me many years ago:
"How is it
that we think? It's by facing a problem and letting a solution come to us out of
reality. That's how it is done."
eidenai crh ton polemon eonta xunon, kai Dikhn Erin, kai ginomena panta kat Erin kai Anagkhn.
God the
sadness soon to be us
It's a waking story
--
The old kings are fallen,
They are
buried in their schemes;
Lords and ladies
abandoned stand
Seeking peace in the
bitter land;
Painted pots of ancient
lore
That show the shadows
And bring
them fore
Running so fast
As the
end pursues us
Out of our protracted
vainglory...
-- Chapel Hill, 1972&&>
tou gar eontoV alhqinou kreisson ouden.
hqoV anqrwpw daimwn.
Ora loepoet saka ngoendoehing panggawe.
WAHYU KARMA
In preface, let me say that the vision contained in
this record comes largely out of Sumarah and the kebatinan tradition of Javanese
mysticism in general. It is also much akin to that of the Buddhists in terms of
the nature and structure of reality in realms and heavens and dimensions and
beings of associated spirits. The most important distinction between this and
the Buddhist perspective has to do with a conflict in long-term outlook: through
their boddhisattva notion of universal enlightenment, the Buddhists are rather
concerned with avoiding the true expression of Justice and the return of pain to
definer -- in practical terms they just wish to continue the same confusion
since their purpose is unacceptable to all Open Beings (those without karmic
backlogs) for obvious mechanical reasons and unworkable. We are interested in
Justice and seeing Closed Beings pay in full for the pain they have caused all
of us since this pain ties up the energy needed to properly express many Open
Beings and turns existence here into a zero-sum game that nobody is ever going
to win. We seek the end of karmic arrearage and all beings' return to openness
such that we Open Beings can truly be together.
You are entering the stark reality of a confrontationalist (eriV), a "rough beast, its hour come round at last." The Western World, a Lilliputian cacocracy where reality as such is naught but an inconvenience and institutionalized escapism is virtually ubiquitous. Choose your chemical, visual, audio or cimematographic device and be somewhere and someone you are clearly not. How good an idea can that be?
The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune,
It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.
There is a subtle intensity to the Javanese that can be very wearing to Westerners. They are always watching. Their eyes do not glaze over as they tell you things. Their attention does not wander; they just stay here watching your response, the feeling you are together and the movement of rasa from moment to moment.
Death Cry at the Passing of Love 1971Oh my love I need you so
Oh my love where did you go
Where you go know I will follow
I will through all till we are one
Holding still within our arms.Life holds nothing without you near me
Life attracts me not at all
Where you are know I will find you
Let me be within with all.Oh my love I love you so
Oh my love I'll ever need you
Oh my love to rest within you
True love anon will guide us through.We are one and ever will be
Throughout all ages and tides we
Forever we anon will be
United in eternity
United in eternity
United in eternity
United forever in love.
I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.
When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And someone called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.
Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done,
The silver apples of the moon
The golden apples of the sun.
Some of my many excruciating exchanges with Christians:
1. Is Christianity in good faith?
2. Considering the newly infallible bishops and their poppycock pontiff
3. A contrary perspective on Divine Being
4. Are we karmic criminals on the run?
5. Considering forgiving the unforgiveable, i.e., "Forgiveness is the only unforgiveable sin." -- Lord Peter Wimsey
6. I question the Wiccans about Christianity and a discussion with Symphony ensues
7. Perfection, a fiery young Wiccan, asks about Christianity and I counsel "prudence"
8. A Christian asks about prayer and I comment
9. The Javanese vision of the divine and contrast with the Christian view
10. Is God a wimp?
11. The Mother Church as overarching disaster
12. Yet another attempt to get a little attention to the problem involved
13. A departing comment viewing the furor caused by the previous
Let me just give a
final indication of the Kafkaesque character of these exchanges. After beating
my head against the wall for months, I eventually gave Theologos access to this
web page to provide a fuller picture of where I am coming from. The only
response I got from Roger (the "moderator") was that it looked like Subud and he
was not interested in reading it. Then when I withdrew from Theologos at the
time of my mother's death (I had other things to worry about besides the 140
commentaries I found in my box after a five-day absence from the web), his
parting shot was, "You still haven't explained your beliefs to us". I was
infuriated and remain so. As the Indians used to observe, "The only good
Christian is a dead Christian" or as Nero Wolfe, my favorite misanthrope in
world literature, would remonstrate, "Pfui. Flummery."
"Look for causes in consequences; look for purposes in what actually happens; don't get caught up in details and the apparent ignorance of the times: most events and situations in this overdefined, involuted universe are the result of someone's need or desire for something and their application of whatever it takes to get it at whatever cost to themselves and the rest of us. Humans are all hiding from themselves and us in the largest sense and that's about all they end up doing. Their biggest nightmare is being caught and half of the character of the being is designed to make this impossible by flashing through their expression on this world like a prairie fire or a plague of locusts."
"But they sometimes say they are so noble," I objected.
"Just talk. They destroy this world they are able to define in a bigger and bigger hurry every time in order to cover their tracks and make off into the dark. That's the character of this karmically loaded being. Nothing to be done about it but hope we can catch up to them someday and make them pay for all this pain and confusion. That's the sad lesson we have for you and the situation will not change until they are brought to justice for their crimes and release us all from the nightmare they are to us."
Evidently we mystics
and shamans really do have strange experiences--they define us as we mature in
the agony being here necessarily is when those around you are not. With
reference to the comment by Her Most Blissful and Blessed Grace, Mahadewi Tara,
on my earlier work, a web correspondence brought out a connection between that
and rasa, the basis of Javanese mystic practice, that is a part of the
opening process. Rasa does not translate into English and Bhora wanted to
know how to relate to it. In a chapter, "The Problem with Problems", that
I sent to him serendipitously, I discuss the psychology literature describing
the problem-solving mechanism: a problem is identified, a solution sought
through an operation, a test of the solution carried out and (if the solution is
successful) there is an exit from the problem-solving mechanism. Actually,
rasa is this "exit" but we view it very differently. We see this not as
turning the problem-solving mechanism off but as redirecting it to the problem
of existence itself as we open to it to see what needs to be done. In
problem-solving theory, the mechanism is used for personally identified
disturbances; in Javanese mystic practice, it is precisely the "exit" from this
absorbed application of this mechanism that interests us and it is when you
start viewing existence itself as your problem that you start to become a part
of the solution and not simply a self-absorbed, "turned away" part of the
problem.
I recommend that you look at my
experiences with my spirit comrads in arms: I have never seen such nobility,
beauty, sacrifice, fury and joy as we have found in one another in forming our
union. It would be a shame not to know the glow of these little stories and the
awesome majesty of these open beings: Hecate, the Furies, Kali, Athena, Melini, Hystia, Shaytan and Faith, Cricky and Persephone.
Here I discuss much of what is deemed reality nowadays in one way or
another in letters to anthropologist and shaman Michael
Harner, anthropologists Beatrix Pfleiderer and Robert Kyle, as well as Michael
Rogge, an authority on Javanese mysticism and
Subud on the Web, Sarah Brightman, a lady
with a sublime voice, and Sela Ward, a spirited and
lovely thespian, and Loreena
McKennitt, a lass with enormous talent and a divine voice. Here are letters
to two of my Javanese kebatinan masters, Suwondo, the outstanding pamong I worked most
with and General Harnopidjati, M.D., a member of
President Suharto's curious assembly of adepts in the service of the Semar
ancestral being in order to express and defend the beauty and nobility of the
Javanese people. In addition, there are three short papers that start The
Book of Being and consider the issues that define us all and our positions
relative to one another: "Open and Closed Psychology: How
Different Can We Be?", "Reflections on Natural Law:
Traditional Holism Revisted" and "Open Being Versus Closed
Being: The Struggle to Be". Next is a Memorial which describes my
own spirited experience as I worked to be with those who are willing to be here
and accountable in an alienated world where we were told that the only sure
thing was that the Other (despite all appearances) was not really there and that
our feelings for the Other were naught but the idle projections of our
imagination; I mean, isn't that the message science has brought us in its
frantic pursuit of release from responsibility through reductionism, statistics
and quantum mechanics? Finally, another paper written before I went to Java and
presented at Harvard University in 1973, "Collective
Behavior: An Emotive Approach", received an A+ and publication was
recommended. This followed a paper, "From a Greek Vein", the previous
winter at Oberlin College taking a, humbly spoken, brilliant approach that
presages the vision found in Java (with some comments and exegesis added now) in
analyzing The Iliad and the workings of Greek
philosophy.
As you can see, my
confrontational path did not start in Solo: my initial M.A. research proposal in
1975 was "You make me sick", a study of the effects of intercultural,
cultural and interpersonal interaction as a pathogenic agent on many levels that
ended with a final section called "We make us well", which considered how
we can collectively and individually conduct our own therapy by relating more
accurately and abandoning our tendency towards escapism. The topic and approach
raised a few eyebrows because it stressed our collective and individual
responsibility for our circumstances and any careful examination of the
scientific/academic milieu would necessarily raise doubts about the good faith
of these institutions. In any case, by way of compromise, in 1977 Culture and Schizophrenia: A
Consideration of Ignorance and Information came out, but the initial
proposal remains dear to my heart. It is in this context that I arrived in
Java.
Perhaps it is in this light that one should
interpret a real head-scratcher that came following my doctoral defense in 1980,
when a postdoc I knew only by sight came up to me and conspiratorially confided:
"Welcome to the Company of the Damned". Whatever.
In
fact, I had already been doing a simplified form of Sumarah meditation since
1969, using a method stressing acceptance and neutrality that came to me on its
own while I was working down a load of filthy, mercy-laden energies related to
the Buddha Behest I received on midsummer night in 1968, enshrouded by
Stonehenge's looming dolmen, while my companions, Barbara Virgil and her
brother, slept down in the coffee shop under construction by the road. This was
no dream. As in this case, responsibilities are generally just nightmares that
have yet to end as I found to my mounting grief in an interview with Oscar
Diethelm in August 1968 as those about me taunted that I had no
"insight".
As far as I know, this conundrum devolved on me
because my experience had left me so disappointed, disgusted and hateful of you
all that my ears literally pop, so Gothic that I purely delight in cemeteries.
For me, existence is one long pain and pain is everything and pain is definitely
you. So I assume that this cause celebre got dumped into my lap because
there was no notable distortion here to interfere with sorting it all out.
Another point may have been an absence of prejudice in that I hate everyone
regardless of race, creed or color as per the pain associated with their
manifest contract violations relative to me and mine: in my experience, you are
all "guilty until proven innocent" and, more particularly, the only thing you
can count on men to be is scum (hqoV anqrwpw daimwn). When something else appears, it is time to make a careful
examination of an atypical case; who knows, maybe there is someone caring, i.e.,
feminine, in that ungainly form. If I sound like a graia, so be it!
As I quickly found, the Buddha being is
a composite restructuring coming out of the Maat Conundrum with the
unfortunate habit of denying its own source, thus obviating justice age after
age. What a pleasure being a Buddha has traditionally been, a sanctimonious
capo di capi hiding behind the Maat-headed Aegis of the sin, the
sacrilege, the abomination defining corporate resources and sure that no one
could ever imagine the horror lurking forever within. In fact, though, while a
broad view shows existence to be a pain, allowing the presence of just a few
more details reveals a long series of rapes, of atrocities, behind the
artificial and arbitrary structure pretended to be reality. To unwravel these
Gordian imbroglios of victims and villians, violated and violating, the only
questions really needed are: "quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" and "cui
bono?"
My blysse, my bale
ye han ben bothe
A
protestation of affection as of 2000.
A 1999 dream that marks Gloria's final induction into the Fury
being.
This dream reveals the sorts of things that go on
in a great love, the purposes served and the eventual results after the pain
has been suffered down.
A 1998 dream that gives the essential context as it turned
out.
This dream should help to give an idea of what
happens to a mystic in a confused romantic tangle. We are not notably
different in many ways, but we are extremely vulnerable because we are obliged
by our openness to take a pretended "relational contract" at face value, more
or less like any adolescent, and then wait and see what the other does.
However, as the dream states so clearly, we firmly hold that reality does
exist to sort out such confusion and pain.
A 1997 letter to the parents of Gloria, a student, friend, lover and
patient who stood as a great love and then became a great hate . . . So it
goes.
This gives an indication as to how I became so
ravenously misanthropic. I started off the relationship in a neutral but open
frame (jinem) as a pamong (guru) helping a friend, then was
seduced and began working a nightmarishly contorted and exigent passion, after
that I found myself enthralled, betrayed, mugged, mauled and left for dead for
some four years. I finally ended up completing the demands of the therapy and
our "relational contract" with my responsibilities fulfilled but was literally
foaming at the mouth, screaming in rage and pain about once a week for a time
in expressing the agony. The letter is accompanied by footnotes giving the
context over the years.
A final letter to Gloria in 1997, "formally" ending my treatment of
her disease: "iblung amuk"
A wrap-up on an experiential
disaster with a lot of context in the form of letters and documents connected
with the relationship.
A "therapeutic" letter to Gloria in 1996, wherein I give the cosmic
and effective context of our multifacited
relationship
This letter is an interesting production that,
unfortunately, rather says it all.
The actual letter sent to Gloria in 1996
An exercise in the
art of condensation.
The year 1995 with some letters to Gloria and other therapeutic
developments
Whatever else might be said, this material is
fascinating: true therapy can be more than a bit painful and
nasty.
The therapeutic and general situation as of
1993
I started off the year looking at ways things
could get worse and they did: bad faith always complicates, especially when
the therapy technique (Sumarah) assumes a context ensuring good faith in
Java's intense communal regard.
A
June 1992 study describing the relationship, my definition and
orientation
"Tealt Leman" is a revealing piece that expands
the context to the Cosmic. This came just before the explosive
denouement.
Just to give an idea of my mood following the whole debacle with Gloria, along with 'Crying' by Roy Orbison and 'Spending My Time' by Roxette, my favorites became a Kingston Trio masterpiece for the dumbfounded lovelorn, |
Hard ain't it hard ain't it hard, oh yeah, To love one who never did love you Hard ain't it hard ain't it hard, Great God! To love one who never will be true!
There're rioting in Africa They're starving in Spain There's hurricanes in Florida And Texas needs rain The whole world is festering with unhappy souls The French hate the Germans The Germans hate the Poles Italians hate the Yugoslavs South Africans hate the Dutch And I don't like anybody very much But we can be tranquil and thankful and proud For man's been endowed with a mushroom-shaped cloud And we know for certain that some happy day Someone will set the spark off And we will all be blown away There's rioting in Africa There're strikes in Iran What nature doesn't do to us Will be done by our fellow man.
September 24, 1992
Gloria and I are having a spat. May the sands of time ever flow and our love ever grow my dearly adored but bitterly received sense for the time being. [This was my last visit to Gloria until November 17.] She was pretty chata (bossy and impositional) and the discussion was a bit crazy. She kept talking about seeing the people around her as "robots" and how you can't tell if people are "good blacks" or "bad blacks". It was all coming straight out of my experience so she couldn't account for it. As can be seen above I had recently defined a very clear and definitive position about how to distinguish the good and bad blacks [i.e., it cannot be done and there is no distinction in real terms in that pretenses of goodness are essentially a farce without coming clean in association: if you don't care enough to be here with us, you are just seeking advantage by pretending to be good and playing stupid at the same time, thus seeking to define trust you will betray later] and was mad as hell that it was not being respected. I gave her a hard line about this subject and her responsibilities. Eventually I even jabbed her in the hand. I was in a highly intense state so I didn't exactly come across with a great deal of subtlety. She didn't like the whole scene and decided I had lost control. She called the ineffectual if not actively incompetent marital counselor we have tangled up in the middle of our triangle and told her about the incident. The counselor worked only to maintain the status quo in some senses but did not try to clarify or sort out the situation or feelings involved. She denigrated my feelings for Gloria and even insulted her person many times after one interview with her ("She's not that beautiful. I know lots of women who are at least as beautiful. She just smoked one cigarette after another."), which obviously left me holding the bag altogether in terms of what I was feeling and defending the beauty of the love. A lot of tears are to come on this one; God I'm going to miss being able to see her from time to time but the depth of our common state does not allow much creativity on this side. She wants to deny the profundity of the feeling (rasa) and common being (eling) we share; I cannot.
I would here like to include two links to analyses of the Latin America mentality coming from different directions. The first is The Symbolic Family of Latin America, brilliantly and beautifully presented by Iraci Galiás, a Brazilian physician, psychiatrist and Jungian Analyst. Her feel for the subject is a good deal more maternal than mine but her map covers much of the same territory wonderfully well while tying it into Brazil's own vision of what is going on as expressed in poetry and music. Again from within the Brazilian social and ethnic Gordian knot, the second is Brazilian Culture, Mestizo Culture by Professor Francisco Weffort, sociologist and currently Minister of Culture in the administration of Fernando Henrique Cardoso. He sees Brazil in a far more sympathetic light than I do and his erudite and avuncular treatment of the group's working of its own disgrace responds to much that I have brought out but rather leaves it unchanged: my commentary is from the outside of the social tangle and does not attempt to bring out the beauty that both of these authors have found looking at its inner coherence and the courage expressed confronting a morass that started off much worse than it is now. Both of the translations are my own.
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal status to which the Laws of Nature and Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. -- We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.Evidently their sincerity is subject to question in that they constituted the moneyed, propertied and educated elite of the colonies and were knowingly superior sorts one and all. What "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God" might refer to remains a mystery to this day in that even the Christian Deity (wimpy and forgiving as He is pretended to be) would not countenance such an absurd, indeed grotesque, position as the assertion that "all men are created equal" and have the right to be aggressive hedonists.
I had not discovered yet one good trait in the character of the Americans who had come to the country. They made fair promises but never fulfilled them, while the British made but few, and we could always rely on their word.From Black Hawk's perspective, the situation was evidently:
One of our people having killed a Frenchman at Prairie du Chien, the British took him prisoner and said they would shoot him next day. His family were encamped a short distance below the mouth of the Wisconsin. He begged for permission to go and see them that night as he was to die the next day. They permitted him to go after he had promised them to return by sunrise the next morning.
He visited his family, which consisted of his wife and six children. I cannot describe their meeting and parting so as to be understood by the whites, as it appears that their feelings are acted upon by certain rules laid down by their preachers, while ours are governed by the monitor within us.
Why did the Great Spirit ever send the whites to this island to drive us from our homes and introduce among us poisonous liquors, disease and death? . . . We can only judge what is proper and right by our standard of what is right and wrong, which differs widely from the whites'. The whites may do wrong all of their lives and then if they are sorry for it when about to die, all is well, but with us it is different. We must continue to do good throughout our lives.
Tout est perdu fors l'honneur.
But from the Americans' perspective, the situation turns out to be much more serious in real terms (though it may take a while for this fact to sink in):
Tout est perdu sans l'honneur.
Actually, one suspects
that the Great Spirit did not have much to do with the erstwhile colonials'
movement: They rather do as they please, don't they?
No
doubt this purposefully "turned away" modus vivendi inspired Ayatollah Komeini's
depiction of Uncle Sam as the Great Satan. It is hard to miss that the Americans
have put God on their money but have not allowed anything but demonic purposes
to be expressed in the criminal cabal that they constitute. The United States
has filled the world with television and movie productions, with saccharine
emotions, voyeur violence, sex objects, asinine "I-think-I-can" positivism, TV
addiction, unbridled irresponsibility in the name of "progress" involving an
unabashedly escapist orientation that is expressed in junk food, convenience
stores, theme and amusement parks, Muzac, television talk and game shows,
sitcoms, millionaire entertainers of all kinds, free love, school massacres,
yearly trade-ins on automobiles, demolition derby, hula hoops, planned
obsolescence, drag racing, streakers, Hollywood sex goddesses, cell phones,
bemansioned TV preachers, edible panties, roller derby, hippies, yippies,
yuppies, monster trucks, Tinsel Town, TV dinners, conspicuous consumption, soap
operas, fast food, disposable everything (from diapers to presidents), date
rape, ATVs, suburbia, inner cities, prohibition, speakeasies, cocktails, Happy
Hour, freeways, an education system that has produced a vast population of
illiterates, pinball, video and computer games, virtual reality, the Internet
(?????). Is this a meaningful way of life? Is there anything to be proud of
here? When everyone has a right to get their own way, justice cannot exist in
that exploiting others to make yourself Happy is a Right. This active penchant
towards unconscionable abuse has turned the American people into a nation of
litigants ready to sue anyone that is legally vulnerable mostly because they
themselves are criminally defined to the core.
Few
of us have noted any values in association with this flood of disposable drivel.
Materialism is not a value. Consumerism is not a value. When you think about it,
Capitalism is not a value either in that the Almighty bottom line is really all
that matters and a battery of lawyers are maintained to make sure that none of
the crimes committed are punishable. The modern world, madly destructive as it
is, has its auto immolating foundations in these self-centered credos. We are
locked in a descending gyre by our need to compete with those without scruples,
the unconscionables that call the tune in the modern
world.
By
way of contrast, in Javanese mysticism, some of us eventually become "dead in
life"(mati sajeroning urip), a form of "hell-incarnate assumed", where
the pain of being is spontaneously and openly expressed in all we do. We become
unable to relate to or from anything but the totality, the Divine being, in that
we know service to any smaller body to be plagued by the problems of a devil's
covenant. The danger is that one become involved in knowingly or unknowingly
defending the beauty or benefit of a lesser assembly at the rest of our expense
through the use of demonic mechanisms. We know these unions are not always in
bad faith but, from where we stand, we see with terrifying clarity that such
delimited, circumscribed associations obviously constitute a de facto betrayal
of all that matters. Nuff said.
However,
notwithstanding this turbid societal environment making reception problematical,
khakiki comes here too as divine, open statements and receptions that are
called "thought arising from the Will of God" in Java. However, I have dubbed
this phenomenon the "boom being" and tend to discourage its expression in
Brazil. This external form of khakiki invariably involves ungrounded
participation here which reflects the aftermath of the often unbridled joy
arising in the oppressed local natural being as a result of growing awareness of
True or Divine Justice (Sejatining Keadilan) and the mechanisms for
enacting it. Brazil's relationship with its natural environment is and has
always been outstandingly vicious and distructive (as in so many places
nowadays, including Indonesia): burn, forest, burn. In natural terms, the pain
caused by the environmental rape here has never been given satisfaction and
allowed to release, in much the same way that Brazil's drivers give no
satisfaction in traffic and you are expected to pass the pain and irritation
they cause to you along to the next guy.
However, nature
does not have a next guy and the pain has remained intact, festering and
awaiting justice for centuries here lifting the society into a hate float, i.e.,
Carnival-land is literally suspended on the pain and hate it has caused with no
real connection with natural being. The processes of Natural Law are normally
too slow to punish this kind of brutality, misrepresentation and wanton
irresponsibility. From the natural perspective, the situation is initially not
distinguishable from Divine work, which often involves pain, disruption and
sudden destruction too in working Open Being. Normally, by the time the bad
faith involved has been sorted out, the planet is a wasteland altogether with
humans in extinction, i.e., the perpetrators of the crime are long gone, holed
up in their heavens or hells still floating on the hate. As Enya counsels: "On
my way home, I remember only good things". Really. Once the slime is 'home' and
in out of the cold, they are represented only by the sweetest and apparently
purest of motives and the horrors of their passage are denied association, while
the obvious criminals are pointed out in their country club hell (comfortably
thumbing their noses at any real justice or suffering). Ugly little picture,
isn't it?
As a Nature Worshipper (druid or
sutapa), I work with the expression and resolution of the resulting
problem of unsatisfied natural pain too and this form of external khakiki
is a phase in the process of eliminating improper association with the swell of
relief, faith and hope that comes from this effort, in as much as there is an
involuntary Natural 'thanksgiving' that comes after progress in grounding the
being and establishing a path to justice and, unfortunately, this flood of joy
passes through everyone (even humans) in the locale.
In
Central Java this would not be a problem in that people keep track of their
feelings and do not claim to control them: rasa (common mutually defined
feeling) goes as it goes and one constantly moves on to what comes next without
seeking to hold on to what passes (in that doing so would be a form of
betrayal). However, in a place like Brazil the tendency is to try to control
"good" feelings and keep them stored up in strings of definitions and
distortions and lies: the referencing system associated with practices of
hedonistic promotion and sense deprivation in general. That is, in its general
expression, this joy was initially in contact with, i.e., passed through, beings
who were not properly contributing to it. As is their corrupt and corrupting
habit, these indifferent sorts then tried to impound it, to keep and control it
for their own purposes--generally seeking to find impunity in this gush of
relief. In these terms, this externalized form of khakiki is a part of
the process of distinguishing and discriminating beings within this global frame
of 'feeling', of separating "the wheat from the chaff". As per Natural Law
(Purba Wisesa), the 'physical' context of relationships with one another,
one has no choice about going through this process to clean the energies
involved, get down to the ground and go back to work bringing open the agony
once again for more complete expression, analysis, discrimination, proper
association, justice and eventual release.
So be
it.
November 2, 1996
This morning I received a full statement of the divine principle of interaction and definition: "Never try to feel or define anything yourself; let your feelings form out of the totality and carry on referencing always to and from the totality in everything you do," which is just another somewhat clearer statement of what Sumarah teaches.We also finally had a little insight into the "Buddha smile" which reflects the fact that it is generally only the evilist of beings that can become a "World Conqueror" and they sit in their state of grace and contemplate their total awareness of the fact that they never really want to come clean with anyone: The smile of the bully who has gotten away with it. This is a phenomenon of closed beings in the pursuit of peace and security and works in with the boddhisattva denial of the simple enactment of True Justice (Sejatining Keadilan) and the search for a quick fix or jeitinho ("Universal Enlightenment") to get us all out of this mess. The recognition of my attainment of the Buddha level of awareness came with my reception of the Maitreya behest on June 21, 1968 in Stonehenge, England but I surely am a different sort of being from the normal Buddha. I'm certainly evil enough, in fact, far more immersed in pain I have fostered than any of them, but I have always come clean. I serve those I love and their beauty. To remain covered in uncleared pain would cut me off from them and render me a disaster to them as I went the path of the tyrant to gather them to me, thus destroying what I love in them and they in me. So I have opened and stand properly open in all beings eternally.
November 6, 1996
Full collapse of all of the various divine and otherwise covenants involving surrender of disposition, position and energy by concerned entities in order to elicit cooperation from humans in the service of divine purposes was finally recorded this morning due to the generalized betrayal of said covenants by the existing, standing human authorities, who seek only their own pleasure and thus betray their trusts. As a result, the open work on the absolute leveling process is now fully and openly under way. Hecate noted:"This is the most joyful moment I have ever know except for the moment when I found you. Do you remember when I first found you in Kelso, Washington in early 1970 and I said, 'You don't mind if I love you very, very much, do you? You are a beautiful raging being and I'll always love you anyway. But if you let me be with you it's going to make your life very, very hard. I'm hard to please, you know, and I never let anyone get away with anything.' and you said, 'I'm not doing what I do because I enjoy this hellhole anyway so go right ahead and love me. By the by, I'm not known for my forgiving nature either.' 'All right, then, let's walk you in the sun and see if we can gather divine presence to your beauty and develop a path for you out of all this confusion. It's going to be hell but there is no other way with so many beings developing themselves off of you at your expense. I'd actually suggest that you find your way somewhere where humans know how to recognize and serve true beauty as soon as you can. Right now you're just going to have to crash under their greed to steal it. They are tearing you apart and there is nothing to be done but to suffer it. Suffering is the way we mature. Suffering is the way we eventually have choices and are not just serving the empty protests against the state of things and bouncing off of the plans of others. We grow. We grow independent of them because they don't suffer and they don't stand and they don't confront and they don't mature. They stay where they are glorying in their ability to feel good and we go on serving the love and eventually begin to feel a little bit better about it all.'"
November 14, 1996
Last night from 7:30 to 8:10 I had a unique experience in connection with rescuing a group of my girls, the lost girls, from Gloria's grasp. I was down at the kitchen table and found that with all the pounding on her they started to become visible off somewhere and I found one of them and let her speak through. I started trying to get her name and was getting all kinds of sophisticated curses that were holding the being there. We took a bit to locate them but then we were on the way. I was still speaking to her and she said she had seen me arrive. To try to verify if it was me I asked, "Do I have a big tummy?" She said no but I had settled into the being. I began to check the being, scanning the large assembly carefully and noting three girls I thought looked like they had been tortured. I spoke with them and they said that they have been crying very hard recently. At that point, Hecate arrived and was very surprised to see me there already. A short time later we were joined by Annis and Hecate told her, "He is already doing a general read of the being." Then the rest of our group began to come in. To clean up the being I then began to teach them the attitudes of open union by giving them "Mamayu hayuning pawana, mamayu hayuning jagad," "Kedahipun kawula kados pundi?" "Panjenengan kerso menopo?" and "I didn't make this mess but I sure am going to clean it up." I also gave them some Javanese words for beauty like kusuma and ayu and many of them reported that these were the names that they had received as their own. At that point I found another and asked her name and she told me she was Aka, and that she was the group's spokesperson. By this time everyone had arrived and I hurried to eat dinner: paella. Sukino said that the experience was like some of his in clarity and unassailability of presence and being. Very beautiful and interesting. Later we welcomed and settled in the heaven they had been supported on.
As Hecate commented, "So beautiful. There will never be another moment like this. Never, never, never, for the rest of eternity. Our beloved has truly shown his stuff."November 22, 1996
In last night's class I gave my friend a bit of my vision of Cosmology by placing it all in terms of Empedocles' vision of the joining and separating, the love and the hate of being. I criticized Hawking and Penrose and said that their vision of the Big Bang and the Big Crunch are so narrow as to be ridiculous in that this "Universe" has only been around for something like 15 billion years. I claimed that there is just too much information around for that to be it. I then said that we now assume this to be normal but in fact it makes more sense to me to consider the state before the dispersion of the Big Bang to have been normal, back when we were expressing our united sense and love, rather than now when we are expressing our confusion and hate.December 1, 1996
This morning when I woke up at 6:30 or so to the habitual Sunday sound of barrages of fireworks early on the day of the Sabbath, I listened to a general khakiki pronouncement concerning the criminal character of the Brazilian "Casbah" and its influence on the rest of the world through its pursuit and support of criminal purposes and activities in the expression of its open scorn for the rest of us. Brazil's lack of extradition laws was used as an apt example and open expression of the real purposes of the society, the behavior it fosters, the criminal types its supports and attracts. The absence of such laws, which is something of an international scandal and mystery, in that it shows how unwilling Brazil really is to play square with the rest of humanity, also gives open expression to the uses put to the energies Brazil controls. This especially applies to those more or less freely irresponsible and hedonistic energies extracted from Carnival activities, which literally involve millions of uncaringly irresponsible revelers seeking the ecstasy of absolute oblivion and freedom from accountability for their actions -- oh how they hate one another and oh how Carnival gives them an opportunity to express it. In Natural terms, Carnival constitutes a generalized form of societal rape separating Brazilians from their own sacred inner character in a generalized denial of responsibility.As has been said in reference to Brazil, "There is no sin below the equator." The pain Carnival releases is astonishingly powerful and profoundly irresponsible energy. Obviously Brazil husbands and uses this energy to make itself "happy" at the rest of our expense. The distorted character of Brazilian society with the most pronounced and unjust income distribution in the world and its openly destructive activities relative to the environment (as in the burning of the Amazon rain forest) were also noted as expressions of this societal pursuit.
My contribution in limiting the effectiveness of Brazil through the exposure and grounding of its being and presence was noted and the diminution of its influence throughout the world as a result was also observed. Heavens, maybe the world is waking up to what's going on in this Casbah, where the only purpose the population accepts is personal prominence (as per the criminal Bandeirantes and purely exploitationistic Portuguese and, in actual fact, the Caligula-variety of Roman tradition it is based on) on a general level and yawning indifference to the consequences of its actions and to the pain it causes. The drop in the level of societal "security" in hiding the connection of Brazilians with the actions that express them and accountability for their contribution to existence that I have brought on in recent days is now apparent and a great deal of pain and mischief is now easily being traced back to its Brazilian source.
December 5, 1996
This morning's khakiki discussed various interesting aspects of the situation. First the Javanese described how they within a very short time were able to identify me as a divine being due to the absolute absence of imposition arising from my presence: I punish imposition; I do not practice it by pushing anyone to do anything or controlling anything at all through my presence. I let all beings be, whatever the agony involved in doing so. The Javanese wondered this morning how it is that after 15 years Brazil still has not accepted its responsibilities relative to me.We also heard a general description of this work as opening the wound of humanity and allowing the putrid pus of evil that festers within us to come forth and suffer open expression, exposed in the light of being. This is a part of the process of healing the wound that humanity constitutes in the state of being and in the definition of existence itself.
In reference to Brazil it was heavily stated that this "party country" -- with all of its irresponsibility and destructiveness and crypto-tyrannical tendencies and practice of bad faith in all relations both within (batin) and without (lahir) -- is a tragic but truculent expression of a simple denial of accountability. As the openly stated canons defining the attitudes and practices of this group admonish: "Take advantage in everything" (Levar vantagem em tudo), "No holds barred" (Vale tudo) and the "quickfix solution" (jeitinho).
FOR THEY ARE A PEOPLE DEVOID OF UNDERSTANDING!!!
Our presence is now such that the open statement of Justice is clear within my ati sanubari and open being (rasaning kabir and rasaning batin), and will be spreading out gradually to the full being and presence. As a result, justification and maintenance of the overt and concerted practice of irresponsibility of these desperate reprobates is likely to become something increasingly unattractive to contemplate. We will obviously have no mercy in dealing with this purposive and systematic iniquity and infamy in relating to Nature, the world and the rest of humanity, notwithstanding the fact that, in its current escapist furor, the rest of humanity is deeply involved in this selfsame evil.
December 14, 1996
Looking back now with the visibility somewhat clearer nowadays, I can remember my birthing (conception) roar when I came into this sphere: "I GOT YOU!"
Perhaps we understand what I meant now.