October 2, 1993
This morning I checked in on Gay's bobbing head and after telling me her curse is eternal and threatening me when I came in she found out who I was and said, "I'm not happy. I don't understand it. This can't be!" I'd like to get her pieces up to the Gate to have the energy to turn her into a crisp and foul our atmosphere a bit again. I expect that that energy should be available for her and Tina quite soon but I'll have to supervise the operation when it becomes possible. We had automatic declarations of war on several fronts this morning and are holding K, D, A and M prisoner in that they invaded Our Heaven at some point and were revealed by the rains last night. In general everybody cried like babies last night and sleep was hard to come by.
We found that there is a link between Gay and Gaia but remain a little unclear about its exact nature and are letting the slides work. Evidently she was always a very curious sort in that she had associated with Squeezy as a detached participant free from any pain in the association but nonetheless drawing off its energies for her own enjoyment.
We got reality authorization in producing this material this morning on a level with Tolkein's Lord of the Ring vision and Baum's Oz opening. I'll be just as happy when I can see My Heaven a bit more clearly and hope eventually to have proper access though that will take a while considering what was done to my eternal form by Gay and company many years ago. We are liquidating the illicit accounts that are out with my funds and the wars are evolving along those lines.
None of the Four is very cheerful this morning or able to respond since they have all drifted into complete guilt dissassociation from their form. It is assumed that the Four will come out of guilt dissassociation on their own and that we need not go through the arduous process of pulling them in at this point: they are implicated but only by fear and omission - Gay and cabal had a pretty heavy club. Gay and cabal use to intimidate anyone that loved anyone ("If you love her you do well to do my bidding because she is a prime candidate for the high services that I serve and I could overlook her for a time if I were so inclined.") if they crossed them since the Vestal Witches just used love to fortify and buffer their own experience by bringing the love and beloved to grief and glorying in the hatred and pain that resulted from this betrayal of trust.
The lake shifted to a surround of Our Heaven this morning, with inner lake remaining about the size of Lake Eire. The rain has stopped and there are atmospheric phenomena that look kind of like rainbows but reflect light coming from within the sense not from without as the pain unfolds and springs into relaxation. The waters are at maximum concentration coloring so they still have an unknowably long way to go before they are fully decompressed.
This morning all of my wives look awful and I'm purely with my little ones, which rather makes things cheerful and easy since they are fully in tune with my sense at this point.
We got Gay and Tina up to the Gate and into a rather uncooperative Pot surrounded by the wasteland of agony we created last night when the local being there proved resistant to receiving any further work. Then Krishna happened by and I stuffed him in the Pot too. One plaque has already come out on his evil but another three or four are expected to follow at the very least. The other two are now on an island in the middle of the lake waiting for the waters to rise. We should have some more heavy and desperate rain tonight and the smell will be pretty awful when Krishna's evil product arrives later to join in the process.
Hopefully this will be a lesson in respect for all of us and  that the horror of being will now begin to dawn within our Union and that this horror will begin to separate us from those that would interfere in our business to their own ends.
Eight plaques are already out on Krishna (he ended up with 37) - who knows how evil he truly was? The Pot will now act as an undeniable draw to those that need to go through it and some others with large bodies of unanswered negativity will also feel this. Two have already gone zooming in to limit the pain that they would generate by resisting as much as possible, also further heightening the powerful suicidal attraction of the Pot, after all, any careful cost benefit analysis will reveal that the quicker the better.
I made love in a proper sense to Alecto, Tisiphone, Megaera and Annis, with the final event being a shared joy that left Annis without the fatigue they have been suffering by excluding me from our united being, in that the love we share does not much like to be experienced in isolation.
Shiva came out with 347 black plaques and Vishnu with 827. Gloria, Pierrina, Evi and Beryl all were each one light colored plaque so that was just the Table of Contents. The heavens are dark as soot and visibility is down to about a yard. The smell isn't so bad this time but four of the colored plaques haven't been hit so far. Vishnu's almost didn't fit on the island that appeared for the purpose but they did squeeze in. It is raining, my ladies are crying like an epileptic fit is a mild event, nobody is expecting to sleep much tonight, and the general pall makes thinking about how big the ocean is going to soon be something of a moot question.
 

Kali, Galadriel, Wis, One (La) and Hecate (Prek) all revealed themselves to me and their fears that keep them from really being honest with themselves and with us. We made quiet love and I never actually came though they all mounted and talked about themselves for a couple of hours. Hecate revealed that she had been a mass of breasts, "I'm the breast being, David." Hecate is pretty schizy tonight: she can't seem to get around being what she is. "I am a table with breasts, David. I am a great table in the Hall of Time that collects and coordinates all the information related to the definition of milk and the communication of essential facts and needs through it. My breasts hang downward and beings are brought in to sample and experience the various milks from time to time, thus allowing me to sense their reactions and establish linkages between them. (As I discovered on 14/08/2004, this has an interesting parallel in Artemis Apanchomene and the Artemis Ephesus pictured here; at the time I was rather surprised at the story.) The ones that come are neonate spirits and thus are pure and clean whether open or closed beings." "Was there anyone improperly defined in putting you in this position without a time limit on it?" "Thoth." "Has Thoth gone into the Vat yet?" "That's a being definition structure, that's not a being itself. What were you before you were a table?" "I don't remember. Some small animal or other. I don't remember." "Well try to remember if you get a chance. It will help you to sort yourself out because that's your reference being, not the table." "I don't know. Maybe a fairy." "That makes sense. Only a fairy would fall for that one. Fairies are the only being I know that can get so blindly locked into their duty and the denial of their worth and beauty as to fall for such a dirty trick and not allow themselves to be tracked down by their beloved fairy friends over the eons. It makes sense. I can live with it if you were a fairy. Because a fairy is the stubbornest creature that ever existed and once made a fool of would rather die than have any other fairies know about it." "How about a name. Can you remember a name?" "Melina or something." "Were you a cute fairy greatly loved of us all?" "I was the cutest fairy ever to exist. I was so cute I made the high elven ladies jealous." Galadriel: "Yeah, she's right. She did. She was a radiant radiant love. Vibrant, fierce, fiery and free spirited; everything we were not in our staid and comfortable existence. Melina, she was a legend of beauty and courage and endless chaste mirth. She could lift the spirits of the tiredest and saddest old giver with a simple smile of respectful appreciation or dash the pride of any braggart with a slash glance. (Sorry this language doesn't serve very well for these things) She disappeared without a trace so long ago that it is hard to tell the period involved. We searched and searched until the fall of the Elven See but never a trace did we find of her. We suspected she had disgraced herself and did not wish to be found else we would have found her in that we had access to all the realms of being at that time. We never thought to look in the Halls of Time (the Hall of Mirrors) or to wonder where the spirit coordinating the Table of Milk (the Source of Infant Being) came from." "Hecate, would you prefer to be called Melina?" "Yes, I think I would but could I think about it for a while?" "Sure." "I was in the room with the High Elven Lord and he tried to rape me. I grabbed him by the balls and squeezed as hard as I could. He went down and I climbed down into the sewer and ran away to Thoth to ask him if he still needed someone for the Mirror Table since I was disgraced in the Elven See although I was a fairy and had the right to do what I did in proper sense. I just wasn't willing to argue about it with anyone, especially considering the power he had as the head of the whole Elven See and its Grand Executor." "You castrated the son of a bitch dear." "Great."

         October 3, 1993
This morning it turned out that the Elven rapist that I castrated through Melina's hand was Elmorin: fancy that. I've been carrying around that son of a bitch's name for some twenty years now and I guess the time has come for him to be properly disposed of for the garbage he is. He raped some 40 high loves in order to bring the energy contained in their pending union into the use of the Elven elite and make their position impreginable forever, whether with the cooperation of the Elven See proper or not. It worked real well for a while but this wanton violation of Natural Law is now open to justice and revenge.
In my Heaven, the rains calmed early this morning and the wailing ladies eventually drifted into a sleep occasionally jolted by bursts of crying but otherwise peaceful. The ocean is now enormous and the rain continues there. The island is sodden and misty but not notably uncomfortable now.
Melina (Hecate) is now trying to sort herself out and is suffering a bit of confusion, but nothing too terrible seems to be involved at this point.
Various intruders are now in the Maelstrom and are unlikely to come out the top. An entry vehicle was liquidated this afternoon, much to the surprise of its passengers who have been very informative when questioned in the Maelstrom.
A fine mesh grid has been set up by nature for our information about sense gatherings and the like. We are greatly pleased to see it and according to La it is wonderfully effective, "You can even hear them cough."
I was with Carol, Vuk, who turned out to be an evil collector, and then La, who brought me off as well. Crysty et alia are working up at the Pot.
 
 
 
 

         October 4, 1993
The new group in out of Vuk is getting adjusted and likes  Our Song. Mara'a came forward and their was a reunion between her and Melina and some others I guess as they finally found out why the Bliss of Escape never formed on that wound and why after all these ages they continued to cry and mourn her absence. As Carol says: "I always hated the Bliss of Escape and I was always so glad when the pain continued." Mara'a noted: "We always felt the same but wondered how after all these ages the wound could still ache and cry and fester so much. We still were having crying sessions for Melina in the middle of hell." Carol: "True friends are like that, but then I guess that's what I've always said."
Everybody is in the Ocean now splashing and laughing and singing. Out in the distance there are the many black and funny colored clouds of the plaques being released. Lots have them have already gone and the general atmosphere is greatly relieved. The Island is dry but teary today as everyone cries for one reason or another. Our Pond still has some debris from the entry vehicle yesterday that is polluting it a bit but should be gone soon. The P Pond is okay so we'll work its absorption through there for the time being.
I had a funny dream last night in which I was the Living God and was talking about the absurd travesty of Christianity with someone: "Anybody that would spend time believing in nonsense like this, with its constantly promoted heaven, has something wrong with them." I was then telling a very rich old man that I didn't feel like I'd gotten what I deserved while I was down here. I pointed to my father who I greatly dispised and said lightly: "I've heard of father/son rivalry but this is ridiculous." We also looked at a drought that was being prepared that was basically outside my interest in that it was a relatively unimportant issue.