Jonathan Partington's private Home Page

This page has recently moved off-Leeds from this site, so please let me know of any links that still don't work.

For the mathematical side of things, you should go to my official home page. Nothing on this page should be taken too seriously, and the University of Leeds disclaims all responsibility for the eccentricities of its staff.

The material below has most considerately been designed to be compatible with all browsers, and does not use frames, scaffolding, Java, Sumatra, applets, potatots, cookies, flapjacks, passwords, mind control, secret software to drain your bank account, hyperlinks with the infernal regions, or any other of the abominations you will find on inferior websites. Nor, for that matter, will irritating extra windows open that you never asked for, and you won't be urged to download some dodgy software that you shouldn't need.

If you are one of those sad individuals or pieces of software that collects E-mail address for the purposes of spamming them, here are a few more for your collection: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected].

Original articles
Advice on baby care.
Artificial Intelligence (the Charles Cabbage papers).
Athletics records
Boots camps.
Candide discovers UNIX.
Chess Match Special.
Green Toast.
Home Computing
How I proved the Riemann hypothesis
How to be a good lecturer.
How to be a statistician (true story).
How to be topp in Compsci.
How to use E-mail.
It's CURTAINS for the Macintosh.
Jeeves and the slippery paradox.
Literary criticism meets COBOL.
New BBC Radio 3.
Philosophy class.
Railtrack timetable nominated for Booker prize.
Referee's report on the Bible.
The Acorn Archimedes computer.
The first million digits of pi.
The Importance of being UNIX.
The Number of the Beast.
The private life of Tolkien
The rake's progress.
The spirit is willing...
The WHICH guide to Computing
Time share holiday advert.
'Twas on the Monday morning
Virus sale
What mathematicians write about
Why the polls got it wrong.
Wishing well complaint letter.

The Phoenix papers, probably of interest only to those who remember the Phoenix computer system.

Some clerihews (mostly mathematical)

Computer-generated texts
The purple yeti (assorted sonnets).
Do not puncture a loon (other poetry).
GROAN output.
JABBER output.
Variations on Ozymandias
The Mikado of New Labour (a speech).

Mathematical essays and transcripts of 'popular' talks
Alphametics (cryptarithms).
Mathematical puzzles in fantasy games.
Designing Adventure puzzles.
Paradoxes and Unplayable Games.
pi is 25/8, the Sun is made of ice, and other useful notions.
Colonel Blotto's game.
Computers and language.

Old quotations quizzes
1989. 1990. 1992. 1993. 1994. 1995. 1996. 1997. 1998. 1999. 2000. 2002. 2004.

Links to solutions have also been provided.

Another collection of miscellaneous quotations.

Some quotations that people want to identify. Suggestions welcome.

Other links

(Picture of some footprints)

I am widely held responsible for the March March march (established 1979).

I have done the Three Peaks of Yorkshire walk nine times (1990, 1990, 1994, 1997, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2002, 2007) and the Lyke Wake Walk twice (1994, 2000). Here are the Lyke Wake dirge and an anecdote.

(Picture of some footprints)

In my younger days I co-wrote adventure games including Acheton, Hamil, Murdac, Avon, and SpySnatcher, various of which were published by Acornsoft in the 1980s and Topologika in the 1990s. The games Fyleet, Crobe and Sangraal have also been resurrected, thanks to Graham Nelson and Adam Atkinson; they can be obtained free in Infocom Zcode format from the interactive fiction archive, together with software for playing them. The games Acheton, Hamil, Murdac, Avon and SpySnatcher are now also freely available from the same site.

Cheer yourself up with this picture of a notorious liar being hit by a tomato.

Picture of me a few years ago

Some caricatures by Patrick Charlier (the first one's of me)

Bust of me by Gabriella Bollobás

An unusual person

A few miscellaneous pictures

Photos of Charles Partington

Charles Partington's West Park web pages

In memoriam Arturo Pousa

Last updated March 22nd 2008 by Jonathan Partington.

(Mugshot) (Jonathan) (Partington) (And now the weather)

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