Do not puncture a loon Do not puncture a loon Oh mouse-like mattress! The spleen shrieks. Our auctioneers rotate Just before the banshee strangles a turbot. The butterflies shout "Wow!" Terribly. False goats are vicious Though not really radioactive. My bugle-player stupidly Garottes the Viking warrior. Surely unsound gorillas read newspapers? A drenched turbot shrieks. My cliche-ridden banshee wobbles indefinitely Disguised as a lumpy passer-by. Never consult a weasel Oh ye auctioneers! Surely the anglers plague rubber ducks? Our turbot catches a train. Loofahs are plump. Oysters are bouncy. The scarlet policeman nocturnally pummels wicket-keepers.
Wels Diamot Rints grome of stoneted Have se frow declart Wries eve he storferst Hass difird gapat Luspeciestretwe Beene namone encame Sur ded clarearthe Cumstly publingain Itil that coureland Havinernce I honse Luserst mat paland Wilarlich und conce.
MOANCHOLY How deprespon mismal moanic Nondent failur borment groanic Of bormentious dendepressive Gnastly grum doloom buressive Woe desponent moanite purglous An howlinguish nondle burglous How deprespon mismal moanic Nondent failur borment groanic!
XYLOTURBOT (Ode to a wooden fish) Equitome cuperti jugum Gassowary jugulard Gnodulexy opule aublum Jugulegus ine mactard Lincubut strophlepsy cangoose Pangory panthrodulam Mango gizzarcurgeist vapoose Oozelumny tracer lam Palibute bat koaludgeous Equalothor promulgar Apitark begretic pudgeous Ligin xystid moon impar Haluviper chyden oplam Hagus ubulexystrome Palot obgon pable beram Podule annet iminome Waluctund aphale stratigeon Xy ulambolingo line Flatig ropy llimiturgeon Yeticks zel flamitious dine Splegitaceous ergeon poozle Repumandon pangle mose Ophalungous nox arcoozle Olophid propodinose Siludge cassowatic tungeon Porpod gnose caritypus Koalango bar sluctation Car gnocturzel pophagous Wombiquangle nomet slotule Batorpoic quagus curge Mangonimbo lycat pugule Uble bergle tragmine wurge Gnomelligo xystergeous pan Volturgity olobule man.
BORIA MOONCE Chrighol mothful nowly ding Clamb the jostmas bethers ning Gloris excels reephem tred Hattley snow flithanta bled Chriumphe cambristmangels ant Midgel able christephant Nowelith rol excemb hark Glord onew frolphercy cark Chrighol mothful nowly ding Clamb the jostmas bethers ning!
This Christmas carol, which should be sung to the tune of "Hark the Herald Angels Sing", won 2 pounds in a Cambridge Evening News competition.