Grasmere Town Council,
Cumbria,
England.
Dear Sirs,
Last month my wife and I visited your village, and were struck by a tourist attraction labelled "Ye Olde Wishing Well". We decided to make use of this facility, so I put in 1p and made a wish; my wife put in 2p and did similarly.
To my great surprise, my wife did not vanish instantly in a puff of blue smoke. It is also clear from the way she looked at me, and said, "Don't you feel at all sick?" that her wish wasn't granted either.
We naturally assumed that the wishes would therefore take some time to deliver, and waited the usual 28 days. However nothing seems to have happened, and I am therefore writing to ask for a refund, as it is clear that your wishing well is faulty. No doubt the engineers are already making repairs to it, and if so I must request that my wish be fulfilled as soon as possible.
It is of course possible that the wishing-well has a minimum fixed charge, but this was not evident from the sign, and so my lawyers tell me that you have no case. I await your response.
Yours sincerely,
Herbert J. Globsquirtle