Old guy comes home in the middle of the day, finds his 
	young blonde wife standing in the middle of their deluxe 
	apartment wearing a red G-string, 7 inch steel heels, and the 
	whole apartment is flooded.

	"What happened here?" he asks.

	"I think the waterbed busted," says the trembling wife.

	Just then a naked guy floats by.

	"Who's that?" demands the husband.

	"I dunno. Must be a lifeguard."

                            


	        I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual 
	male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was 
	sitting and announced "The Captain has asked me to announce that he 
	will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put 
	up your trays, that would be great." I did as he had instructed but 
	the woman sitting next to me did not. A few moments later, our flight 
	attendant came back and said to her: "Ma'am, perhaps you couldn't 
	hear me over the big scary engine, but I asked you to please put up 
	your tray so that the captain can land the plane." She still wouldn't 
	comply. Now he was getting angry and asked her again to put up the 
	tray. She then calmly turned to him and said: "In my country, I am 
	called a princess. I take orders from no one." Our flight attendant 
	replied: "Oh yeah? Well in MY country, I'm called a queen and I 
	outrank you, bitch, so put the tray up!"