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Three male dogs were in a park. A beautiful female poodle came walking by, and they began fighting over her affections. She then told them, "I can only have one of you for a boyfriend. I will choose the one that makes up the most creative sentence using the words 'liver' and 'cheese.' The German Shepherd said, "I love liver and cheese." The Doberman said, "I hate liver and cheese." But the Chihuahua said, "Liver alone; cheese mine!"
A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says "What can I get for you?" The man says "I'll have a beer." The ostrich says "I'll have a coke," and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender says "OK, that will be $3.87" The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays the bill. A few days later, the same group walks into the bar. The bartender goes over to them and says "What'll you guys have? "The man says "I'll have a martini;" the ostrich says "I'll have a white wine;" and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender gets them their beer and says "That'll be $6.75." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks "What do you guys want today?" The man says "I'll have a scotch;" the ostrich says "I'll have a bourbon;" and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender says OK, that will be $7.53." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. The bartender's curiosity got the best of him and he asks "Why is it that every time I tell you the amount you owe you always have the exact change in your pocket?" The man said"I found a bottle with a genie in it and she granted me 3 wishes. My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy." The bartender says that's a great wish...better than asking for a million dollars...a million dollars would run out but exact change never will. What were your other two wishes?" The man says "That's where I screwed up. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy.