These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one 
	lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push 
	over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous 
	direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse 
	over on one side and headed for the woods. They circled round 
	and returned home an hour later from a completely different 
	direction thus, trying to divert suspicion from themselves.

	Upon returning, their father approached them with switch in 
	hand and bellowed, "Did you two push the outhouse over this 
	afternoon?"

	The older boy replied, "As learned in school, I cannot tell a lie. 
	Yes, Father, we pushed over the outhouse this afternoon."

	At this revelation, the farmer proceeded to flail the two boys 
	severely and sent them to bed without supper.

	In the morning, the two boys meekly approached the breakfast 
	table and took their seats. Everything was quiet until their 
	father finally said, "Have you two learned your lesson?"

	"Sure, Dad!" said the big brother, "But, in school we learned 
	that George Washington admitted to HIS father that he'd 
	chopped down a cherry tree and he was forgiven because he 
	told the truth."

	"Ah yes!' said the farmer, "BUT, George's DAD, wasn't in the 
	cherry tree when he chopped it down!!!" 

	

              Sequel to Upgrading to Wife 1.0. 

     Can you please advise me.  I'm having some problems.  I'm currently running the
     latest version of Girlfriend and I've been having some problems lately.  I've been
     running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 all along as my primary application,
     and all the girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it.  I hear that
     DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you run girlfriend in background mode with the sound
     turned off.  But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. 
     I just run them separately, and it works okay.  Girlfriend also seems to have a
     problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of
     timing incompatibility.  I probably should have stayed with girlfriend 1.0, but I thought
     I might see better performance with GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and
     other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He
     said that I probably didn't have enough cache to run girlfriend 2.0, and that
     eventually it would require a Token ring to run properly.  He was right --- as soon as
     I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.  Shortly after that, I installed girlfriend 3.0
     beta.  All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it gave me a
     virus.  I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while. 

     I very cautiously upgraded to girlfriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and
     also installed a virus protection program.  It worked okay for a while until I discovered
     that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system!  Then I tried to run GirlFriend 1.0 again with
     GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about
     that automatically senses the presence of any other version of girlfriend and
     communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both
     versions!  The version I have right now works pretty well, but there are still some
     problems.  Like all versions of girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I
     can't understand, much less reprogram.  Frankly, I think there is too much attention
     paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality.  Also, to get the best
     connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts.  And
     I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented".  A year ago, a friend of
     mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and
     Stay Resident version of GirlFriend.  He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires
     within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did.  But soon after that, he
     had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a "huge resource hog".  It has
     taken up all of his space, so he can't load anything else.  One of the primary reasons
     that he upgraded to Wife 1.0 is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. Well, it
     turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access
     to FreesexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try.  On top of that, Wife
     1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. 
     Although -he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0 which has an
     automatic pop-up feature that he can't turn off.  I told him to try installing Mistress
     1.0, but he said that he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0,
     Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself, Then Mistress 1.0
     won't install anyway due to insufficient resources.  Can you help??