A farmer rings up the vet and says "two of me chickens have
	stopped laying'" 

	The vet says "really, how do you know?" 

	The farmer says "I just ran over the bastards in me tractor."


                   	


 
	A husband and wife decided they needed to use "a code" to indicate 
	that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it.
 	They decided on the word "typewriter." One day the husband told his 
	five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type 
	a letter." The child told her mom what her dad said and her mother 
	responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now 
	because there's a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back 
	to tell her father what mommy had said. A few days later the mom told 
	the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now." The 
	child told her father, and then returned to her mother and announced, 
	"Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the 
	letter by hand."