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A 92 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few
days later the Dr. saw the man walking down the street with a
gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later the Dr. talked to the man and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor, 'Get a hot
mamma and be cheerful."
The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart
murmur. Be careful."
A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother,
"Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of
the same place where boys put their thingies?"
"Yes, dear," replied her mother, pleased that the subject had
finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.
"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given
responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce
children beyond comparison.
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.
After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the East
coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer
who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively
took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for
permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, "They're all looking' to get
married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and
select the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked
for the man's opinion.
"Well" said the man," She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you
can hardly notice . . . but pigeon-toed."
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other
girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
"Well," the man replied, "She's just a weeeee bit, not that you
can hardly tell . . . cross-eyed." The farmer nodded and suggested
he date the third girl to see if things might be better.
So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect,
just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!" So they were wed
right away.
Months later when the baby was born, the man visited the
nursery and was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most
pathetic human you can imagine.
He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could
happen considering the parents.
"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not
that you could hardly tell . . . pregnant when you met her."